You can't wear what to school?????

[Aliceacc]

I teach in a Catholic HS (VERY clear uniform guidelines) and my own kids have very clear rules about what we will and will not allow them to wear. So my input here is as an outsider looking in, nothing more.

I agree that the parents SHOULD be the ones making the choices. But take a look at some of the kids passing your house on their way to the bus each day. LOTS AND LOTS of bad choices there. Think of the 22 year old male first year teacher teaching these girls in their skin tight white tanks and micro minis. He as homeroom teacher is up for a nasty time if he corrects the girl's attire (things along the lines of "why are you looking?")

So what are the schools to do? The parents have dropped the ball time and time again.

How SHOULD the schools address the problem of parents who find nothing offensive about attire that's inappropriate?

 

[disneyofcourse]

I hate to ask this, but is there any chance she's making this up because she doesn't want to wear the clothes you got her for some reason? (Middle school girls can be really weird about clothing.) It just seems unbelievable to me that a public school would not allow girls to wear skirts!

Heck, when I was in grade school, girls were not allowed to wear pants. Seriously. I am older than dirt, though (44) and I grew up in a small town.

Mary
MouseSavers.com

When she called she actually sounded truly sad saying she can't wear anything I got her. She keeps on telling our mom to go to the school and talk to them which she did once already because she keeps on being called to school . They said it just wasn't allowed and to either wear the jackets or pants they provide or go home.

 

[disneyofcourse]

They should pay more attention to what they are teaching them in public school instead of what they are wearing. There is a modest way to dress and everybody with any common sense knows what that is. The shirt picture you posted looked fine to me - it should cover all that needs to be covered - not enough sleeve? Where is this school anyway?

Its in a suburb of either rockville, silver spring,Norh bethesda, aspen hill or wheaton MD. I'm not sure what they are calling areas now. Since the area lines change constantly. It could also be glenmont

 

[disneyofcourse]

To the OP, does your sister's school have multiple levels?

Skirts are allowed at my DD's high school, but I've recommended that she not wear them or at least without shorts underneath. Her high school has stairs that curve around an open area. Think girl at top of stairs wearing skirt, boy at bottom looking up.....

I agree with a PP poster that either she doesn't want to wear them because somebody made an unfavorable comment (middle school girls can be cruel), the school has had an incident(s) in the past which caused the rule, or the school got tired of fighting the "how long is long enough" battle.

I think its a two level school...Maybe 3

 

[disneyofcourse]

At my last job you could wear skirts but not skorts...I always wanted ask if they were really going to check.

Lol, I actually had a job that did the same thing!!

 

[punkin]

Its in a suburb of either rockville, silver spring,Norh bethesda, aspen hill or wheaton MD. I'm not sure what they are calling areas now. Since the area lines change constantly. It could also be glenmont

A public school in Montgomery County? Wow. You should see what they wear at DD14's high school.

 

[eeyoregon]

Here is my personal favorite: DS 10 signed up for soccer at his school. Coach gives us soccer shirt order form. We fill out the info and my son picks #18 as his jersey number. We pay the money and order the shirt. DS wears shirt to first game and is told to "turn it inside out and have your Mom order you a new one."

WHAT?? I am then given a list of approximately 20 different "gang" numbers and am told not to pick those. Yep, the number 18 is a gang number. Um, the list would have been helpful BEFORE I ordered/paid for the dang shirt!!

 

[Debbie]

One of the BIGGEST problem for people with a sense of dignity and not run by the current fashion is:

I had to fight to find to find appropriate dresses for a first grader.

I teach in a Catholic HS (VERY clear uniform guidelines) and my own kids have very clear rules about what we will and will not allow them to wear.

Yep, rules need to be clear, and enforced! But you said it best when you said:

I think that's the problem.... way too many people without common sense/ decency out there.

Mine are in uniform, and, costly as it was to get started, I love it! No thinking-roll out of bed and pull on the outfit. They actually have lots of choice-there goes that argument. And they wear their after school clothes maybe TWO days instead of one-no extra laundry. And they do it!

 

[Minniemouse07]

Mine are in uniform, and, costly as it was to get started, I love it! No thinking-roll out of bed and pull on the outfit. They actually have lots of choice-there goes that argument. And they wear their after school clothes maybe TWO days instead of one-no extra laundry. And they do it!

But I don't want her in a uniform. I want her to be able to wear her pretty pink shirt w/ the flowers, or her jeans w/ the purple trim.

To be honest, I picked up the most ADORABLE pink plaid jumper from Target, along w/ a white blouse. Dd (6yo) put it on and CRIED. She said she didn't want to look like she went to one of those "uniform schools." She was so ashamed of the outfit (which she looked awesome in) that she didn't even want dh to see her in it.

So yeah, no uniforms for us. Yes it was difficult for me to find appropriate dresses (finally found some great polo shirt style dresses at Old Navy), but it was worth it because dd LOVES wearing dresses. She has enough jeans, tops and other pants...but loves dresses so I kept looking.

I have no problem buying her clothes that she loves to wear and I'm more frustrated w/ the fashion industry than anything else. I'm not going to opt for uniforms just because it is harder to find appropriate dresses for her!

If her school made a no dress rule she would be crushed. And khaki uniforms are totally NOT her style. She's a pink and purple girl!

Again, logical dress code is fine, but none of this banning dresses or mandatory uniforms for us!

 

[Kathi OD]

But I still don't agree with the sandals, flip flops yes but not sandals. I'm talking sandals with straps on the heel, they allow crocs and I don't think crocs protect your feet any more then sandals.

Most sandals, even those with straps on the heel, are open-toed and that's where the safety issue comes in. They can easily catch on something and cause the child to trip and fall.

 

[kaytieeldr]

They should pay more attention to what they are teaching them in public school instead of what they are wearing. There is a modest way to dress and everybody with any common sense knows what that is.

But when schools institute standard rules of dress, then they CAN pay more attention to what they're teaching students in public schools - that science teacher described in an earlier post notwithstanding. As for everybody with common sense knowing what modest ways to dress are, that's true - but there are many, many people lacking common sense.

I see a reason for asking children to dress more professionally but ruling out skirts that are just above the knee does not make any sense to me. And, no shorts for gym?

I didn't take it as 'no shorts for gym'. I took it as 'no gym shorts as classroom attire'.

 

[Minniemouse07]

But when schools institute standard rules of dress, then they CAN pay more attention to what they're teaching students in public schools - that science teacher described in an earlier post notwithstanding. As for everybody with common sense knowing what modest ways to dress are, that's true - but there are many, many people lacking common sense.

I didn't take it as 'no shorts for gym'. I took it as 'no gym shorts as classroom attire'.

"Standard rules of dress" are one thing but BANNING typical children's clothing (ie dresses, skirts and sandals) are another.

Also...i don't see a high school's job as "teaching a person to dress for the professional world." What a bunch of BUNK! A teenager should be allowed to dress like a teenager, jeans, tshirts, tops, skirts (at appropriate lengths), dresses, etc.

Again, appropriate dress code is fine... just not all of these wacko notions of banning everything that could be remotely construed as a problem in some very specific circumstances.

 

[PatsGirl]

And, from the prospective of a mother of a son, 17 1/2 years old: just how is he supposed to focus on chemistry when he is surrounded by girls who are showing off the product? He goes to school to learn (well, I wish he did anyways ) not to save money on porn. For the mothers of young girls out there, send your girls to school dressed respectably, do yourself, them, and all the boys out there a favor. I gotta tell ya, I pick my battles with my kids because I know there is just too many things that just don't matter but IMHO the way kids dress does matter, at least when it comes to showing your skin, whether that's a butt, a bxxb, or a belly, doesn't matter -- cover it, school is not a nightclub!

 

[badblackpug]

Our middle school dress policy, directly copied and pasted from the handbook.

The Board of Education has always maintained a policy for student dress. The general guideline notes that "student attire should be neat, clean, and appropriate". Likewise, students cannot wear anything that would be considered disruptive to classroom or school procedure. The rationale supporting this policy is the continuance of high academic standards in our classroom, along with an acute awareness of safety.

The following items are NOT considered appropriate:

Clothing which is excessively tight, revealing, or immodest, transparent/sheer blouses, bare midriffs, micromini skirts, muscle shirts, tank tops with straps less than three finger widths, or t-shirts with inappropriate messages including any message with a sexual connotation or any reference to drugs, alcohol, or violence. Messages with a double meaning fit into this category. The neckline must not be lower than your hand when your fingers are placed together at your throat with the thumb resting on your collarbone.

Undergarments may not be worn as outer garments or be visible in any other way.

Clothing which is dirty, unpressed, torn, or frayed. No cutoffs are permitted.

The wearing of outer jackets, coats, hats, or headbands of any kind in the halls or classroom during the school day is not permitted.

Beachwear, pajamas and slippers are never appropriate attire for school.

Students should never be barefoot, shoes should be sturdy and appropriate for our multi-floored building

Students must wear goggles, lab aprons, etc., as required for a specific course.

The appropriate length for shorts, skirts, and dresses for school can generally be considered to be no shorter than the uppermost part of the palm of your hand when standing with arms extended at one’s side. Choice and style must not be disruptive to the educational process. The general guideline agreed upon is that student attire should be NEAT, CLEAN, and APPROPRIATE. Likewise, students cannot wear anything that is considered disruptive to the learning environment. Adjustments for individual differences and policy violations will be at the discretion of the Administration.

 

[Minniemouse07]

Our middle school dress policy, directly copied and pasted from the handbook.

The Board of Education has always maintained a policy for student dress. The general guideline notes that "student attire should be neat, clean, and appropriate". Likewise, students cannot wear anything that would be considered disruptive to classroom or school procedure. The rationale supporting this policy is the continuance of high academic standards in our classroom, along with an acute awareness of safety.

The following items are NOT considered appropriate:

Clothing which is excessively tight, revealing, or immodest, transparent/sheer blouses, bare midriffs, micromini skirts, muscle shirts, tank tops with straps less than three finger widths, or t-shirts with inappropriate messages including any message with a sexual connotation or any reference to drugs, alcohol, or violence. Messages with a double meaning fit into this category. The neckline must not be lower than your hand when your fingers are placed together at your throat with the thumb resting on your collarbone.

Undergarments may not be worn as outer garments or be visible in any other way.

Clothing which is dirty, unpressed, torn, or frayed. No cutoffs are permitted.

The wearing of outer jackets, coats, hats, or headbands of any kind in the halls or classroom during the school day is not permitted.

Beachwear, pajamas and slippers are never appropriate attire for school.

Students should never be barefoot, shoes should be sturdy and appropriate for our multi-floored building

Students must wear goggles, lab aprons, etc., as required for a specific course.

The appropriate length for shorts, skirts, and dresses for school can generally be considered to be no shorter than the uppermost part of the palm of your hand when standing with arms extended at one’s side. Choice and style must not be disruptive to the educational process. The general guideline agreed upon is that student attire should be NEAT, CLEAN, and APPROPRIATE. Likewise, students cannot wear anything that is considered disruptive to the learning environment. Adjustments for individual differences and policy violations will be at the discretion of the Administration.

This makes sense!

 

[livndisney]

But I don't want her in a uniform. I want her to be able to wear her pretty pink shirt w/ the flowers, or her jeans w/ the purple trim.

To be honest, I picked up the most ADORABLE pink plaid jumper from Target, along w/ a white blouse. Dd (6yo) put it on and CRIED. She said she didn't want to look like she went to one of those "uniform schools." She was so ashamed of the outfit (which she looked awesome in) that she didn't even want dh to see her in it.

So yeah, no uniforms for us. Yes it was difficult for me to find appropriate dresses (finally found some great polo shirt style dresses at Old Navy), but it was worth it because dd LOVES wearing dresses. She has enough jeans, tops and other pants...but loves dresses so I kept looking.

I have no problem buying her clothes that she loves to wear and I'm more frustrated w/ the fashion industry than anything else. I'm not going to opt for uniforms just because it is harder to find appropriate dresses for her!

If her school made a no dress rule she would be crushed. And khaki uniforms are totally NOT her style. She's a pink and purple girl!

Again, logical dress code is fine, but none of this banning dresses or mandatory uniforms for us!

So your daughter is not going to be a part of any team? (Baseball, cheerleading, soccer, gymnastics etc all wear uniforms). She is not going to join Girl Scouts or anything like that?

 

[brymolmom]

OK - I can understand people venting about not being happy with dress codes, but for the posters stating they don't understand - is that exhaggeration? I mean - it's obvious why it has come to this - and if it isn't to you - try going to a school where there aren't codes or where they aren't enforced very well. Really - does everyone think that kids clothes are appropriate for school these days when there are no codes? I don't at all. I find it difficult to find appropriate clothing for my 3 year old dd. I can't imagine in another 10 years what I'll be able to find for her.

So, some parents don't have rules in their homes OR their rules aren't the same as yours - and they like that their child wears a mini skirt and a clevage- showing shirt. These kids come to school and then when they say no to the shirt and make the skirt longer - they still push the limit and try to get around it. So now, WAY TOO MUCH of actual educational time is spent measuring skirts and sleeves and sending kids to the principal and making a child wear a coat or sending them home to change and then the red tape of communicating these things back to the parents and the time taken away from administrators wasted on this. We all pay for that - in time taken away from our children and time taken away from people who have much better things to do to make that school a better learning place. THIS is why it has to happen - unfortunate, YES, necessary - very likely in many cases.

I might not be happy with it but I can certainly understand where it comes from. And anyone who argues the dress code - I say go for it - go to the board and argue - but first, go to that school and you try being the one enforcing the number of inches rules...you stand at the door and do that measuring as each student enters the building, and then deal with those who aren't within the limit....that is a time consuming and thankless job (I'm sure) - so I hope you are willing to do that work instead of the teacher who is supposed to be in there teaching the other children.

 

[ckoncurat]

We are having the same issued with DD12s middle school 7th grade. She has been called out of class twice due to clothing issues. Unbelievable. Honestly she dresses conservatively. She is tall for 12 - 5'7" ish. So shorts on her that are long on other people are average for her. Anyways they have a no shorts or skirts 3 inches above the knee rule. We got new shorts for school and got a call home to bring pants they were too short. I measured them at home they were not. Then she was sent my her homeroom teacher to the principal to check her shirt. He thought there was not enough sleeve??? ***
Principal said it was okay but it seems like harassement to me. They are soooo stick with these kids it is unreal.

I hate rules that say clothes must be a certain number of inches above or "to the knee", because everyones knees are different. This is so hard to measure acurately. Our school rule is nothing shorter than your fingertips, and I LOVE IT. There are no arguments at my house. You put down your arms, if its not that long, you can't wear it. Simple. We also have no sandals without a back strap, so no flip flops, but regular crocs are OK. I hate flip flops on little kids anyway- how can they run in them?

 

[mrs.beast]

I am a teacher and just banned crocs and open toe sandals from my class last thursday. We have lost 2 toe nails to the black top at recess in open toe shoes and have had a massive puncture wound from tan bark in a pair of crocs. the crocs are too thin in the sole to protect from tan bark and i do not want another 6yr old with a foot covered in blood sitting in the back of the room sobbing. open toe shoes, crocs and filp flops are dangerous on the playground. it is very unsafe for the children.

 

[Aliceacc]

Flip flops are also a MAJOR concern in the event that the kids ever have to move quickly, say in a fire.

It makes my daughter crazy. They're not allowed to wear flip flops to school and mean old mommy actually enforces it. Sorry, sweetie, mommy is a teacher. The possibility of a school fire is always in the back of my mind. I will NOT allow you to wear something which could jeopardize your safety or that of the kids in line behind you.

I just wish the school would enforce the policy they've set!