XH took the kids to see "The Lovely Bones"

[luvmy3]

DD just told me he let them see it "to teach them a lesson".
Luvmy3- Like I said, I am usually the more liberal one. It is not just the violence in the movie. Ds, specifically, has seen PG-13 movies and knows what is real vs. what are special effects. Unfortunately, you can't explain away the rape and murder of a young girl. Harry Potter dueling Lord Voldemort violence I am okay with. A little PG-13 making out between Edward and Bella I am okay with. I am not okay with the disturbing theme (for children) of The Lovely Bones.

I completely understand, just this past weekend my dd wanted to go to the movies and that one wasn't even an option. I guess I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, that he didn't know what the movie was all about. Since he did, then rake away

 

[okeydokey]

DD just told me he let them see it "to teach them a lesson".
Luvmy3- Like I said, I am usually the more liberal one. It is not just the violence in the movie. Ds, specifically, has seen PG-13 movies and knows what is real vs. what are special effects. Unfortunately, you can't explain away the rape and murder of a young girl. Harry Potter dueling Lord Voldemort violence I am okay with. A little PG-13 making out between Edward and Bella I am okay with. I am not okay with the disturbing theme (for children) of The Lovely Bones.

Teach them a lesson about what? I haven't seen the movie yet but have read the book several times. I don't think the subject matter is appropriate for kids.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

My DD went last night to see this with a bunch of her friends (all 13-14). They loved it, although my DD and two of her friends said they cried their eyes out.

I read the book and HATED it. Not because I found it disturbing, but a certain scene or two made it completely implausible for me.

Anyway, my DD and her friends were in no way disturbed by this movie, just thought it was very sad. Have to say, part of me didn't think my DD could feel compassion for anyone, so in a strange way, I was glad to see that something took a emotional hold on her, if that makes any sense.

 

[rparmfamily]

Your children are young, I have a 9 yr old and I can't imagine having to explain what happened to that girl in the movie. She has no idea what rape is and describing it or her seeing it would be very upsetting.

What a bonehead, ugg, I'm sorry. I'd be so so so mad and upset too!

 

[RitaE]

I haven't seen the movie but I heard it was toned down considerably from the book. Still not something I'd take an 8year old to however.

Woo Wee what a fun time, huh?

 

[Mermaid02]

I saw it last night- defintitely not appropriate for kids.

 

[Darsa]

Read the spoiler, wow. DD14 wants to see it and wants to read the book as well... I'm not sure I could let her go see it. Correction: I'm positive that *I* couldn't go see it, but I bet she'd be all right with it. She's more like daddy than me

 

[minniebeth]

Wow, he used poor judgement in picking a movie, its not like he took them out to a gentlemen's club. I'd be mad but I'd give him a break. I know if dh was left to pick a movie and my dd said she wanted to see it he'd take her because he would have no idea what the movie was really about. And yes teh rating is PG-13 but there are very few movies rated just PG anymore and I know my kids aged 6-12 watch movies with that rating all the time. Anyway I'd be upset and talk to him about it, but I wouldn't rake him over the coals for it.

Yeah, I know what you are saying, but once they were sitting in the movie, and was watching it, could he not see where it was going and what it was about? He might have made a poor choice in choosing to see it, but even a poorer choice in staying through the whole thing. He could have left and gone to a different showing of something else.
Sorry luvmy3, I just saw your follow up post, yes, rake away...
Then he leaves the aftermath of any fears/emotions with paintnolish to deal with. Sorry I have a hard time giving him a pass on this one...

 

[bluesaturn]

Teach them a lesson about what? I haven't seen the movie yet but have read the book several times. I don't think the subject matter is appropriate for kids.

Probably a lesson about being careful because even people you know can be bad. In this case, the next door neighbor.

 

[Tinijocaro]

He's an idiot.

 

[rie'smom]

My daughter (15) and I saw it on Friday. We both thought it was ok. It was a little on the freaky side but having read the book a few years ago, this wasn't a surprise.
Your ex is a maroon.

 

[Mermaid02]

Probably a lesson about being careful because even people you know can be bad. In this case, the next door neighbor.

And your Father can be a MORON...............

 

[dalt01]

this guy is toast

 

[nuke]

Do you and your ex talk about raising your children? Because I would think what movies are appropriate should be something parents agree upon before this situation arises.

 

[emer95]

I'd be raking him over the coals twice for this stupid move! Really dumb!

 

[bumbershoot]

My dad took me and my younger brother to an arthouse film once. It starred Jenny Agutter, and was called Walkabout.

Starts off with a dad who is suicidal, and takes the kids (older sister, younger brother) to the outback to kill them and himself. Woo, dad!!!!


I finally had to watch it as an adult to:

1. realize how stupid stupid stupid and SELFISH (he wanted to see it, it was only playing during one of our visitation weekends) he had been.

2. get some of the haunting images either out of my head (if I was making them up) or get some adult perspective of them.


I took two adult friends with me when I saw it as an adult, and now THEY feel scarred by the movie!


At least you know that they saw it, and you know what it's about. I'm not sure my mom knew, and I know she didn't know what it was about. So she couldn't help us/me (not sure my brother even remembers it). You can help them if they have questions or concerns. And you can also schedule a time in the future to watch it, or have them read it, again, for a different perspective on it.


My hubby showed DS Star Wars when he was 3...and did it when I was asleep so I didn't know what all the hyperactivity was all about. Finally even DH noticed the bad behaviour and had to put the movie into time out. Since then, we're pretty liberal with the movies (he's seen all three POTC movies (except for the hangings at the beginning of 3 and the crow moment in 2), all Star Wars but Return of the Sith, and HP 1 and 2), but we try to not scar him. So...Lord of the Rings is right out for quite awhile longer, knowing his particular sensitivities, and various other movies.

Anyway, I just mention that b/c it's not always exes that make bad choices, but what's important is that both parents pay attention to the personalities of their children, and try to guide them through or away movies that aren't appropriate. Hopefully your ex can come to see that!

 

[Liberty Belle]

I've read the book, but haven't seen the movie. Dumb move on your ex's part.

It reminds me of the time my mom's friend was babysitting us when I was little (7 maybe?) and she took us to see Tommy (which, I believe, was rated R). My mom was livid!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

My mom took me to see Saturday Night Live when I was a kid. She thought it was going to be a musical.

 

[paintnolish]

All signs point to idiot!!! We went back and forth on a few emails today. I basically told him I was not okay with the movie-not the violence (I know it is toned down a lot from the book) but the disturbing theme. If you want to teach your children a lesson, talk to them. He tried to use the film to scare them, basically. Anyway, he is terribly stubborn so I did not end up getting anywhere. I am beyond engaging him in a fight although he makes it so tempting. Blah...yep, an idiot! Thanks for the responses.

 

[Bluestars]

Well, he probably succeeded in scaring your poor kids. There is one scene that is pretty gruesome with blood everywhere. It's really not something young children should see. Although there's nothing you can do about it now.

Sorry your kids had to see it.