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[cati]

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[Disney Doll]

Be careful not to put too much pressure on him too soon. My parents always talked about college when we were kids as something to strive for, but they didn't make it the be all and end all of of our childhood existence. And both my DB and I did go to college.

And, a 96 on a spelling test was quite "acceptable". I am a good speller to this day...actually won a county-wide spelling be in 7th grade!

 

[Aimeedyan]

I can't believe you're so hard on him! Other than the Ivy League schools, everyone I know who's wanted to get into a school got in, even with an average GPA. Doesn't take much, really, for most of these schools. I can't think of one person who struggled to get into their school of choice. Now graduate school is different, but he's YEARS away from that!

And at age 10, it REALLY doesn't matter.

Don't put too much pressure on him. He's SO YOUNG he shouldn't have to worry about aceing things that honestly have nothing to do with his college choices.

I do think it's important to talk about the importance of a higher education from day one, but the fact is that many MANY people make a great living and are happy without one, and there is no shame in that. Some people are not cut out for higher education. All avenues should be offered.

Encouraging him to always do his best is all that should be expected and asked.

 

[janette]

My oldest is in 7th grade and we talk about it often. She's in the GT program at her school, and has talked about what looks good on a college application since about 5th grade. I'm sure she'll go, where I'm not sure that changes sometimes. Right now she wants a degree in sports mediceine or performing arts. I just nod my head okay, but realize that someday she may decide she wants to do something that earns better than dancing.

My youngest is 4th grade and struggles in school due to a learning disability. I know she could do college if she wants to but it will probably always be hard. Her talent is in art and I wouldn't be opposed to her going a different path than traditional college. We'll see how things go.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Yes, a 96 is quite "acceptable" IMO as well.

 

[cati]

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[luvdisney81]

double

 

[luvdisney81]

*clears throat*

I don't want to get to high on a soap box but from your post it does sound as if you may be placing a little to much pressure right now. Letting a child know your expectations is VERY important and you are doing great by instilling that now. I congratulate you on being such an involved parent and having so much concern and a long term goal you openly discuss with your child. I wish more parents were like you.

It is totally "acceptable" to get a 96 on a spelling test for a 10 yr old. It is ok for an adult in college to geta 96 on a spelling test. My parents talked about college from the start with us. We understood if you wanted more opprotunities in life then college was your best option, but not your only option. They also said it is not for everyone and you can lead a satisfying and successful life working your way up the corporate ladder with hard work.

Children these days have way to much importance placed on college and striving to be the best. I understand parents wanting the best for their child but understand college is not everything. You should work towards teaching your child to be self motivated in learning. Having the desire to learn on his own is much more important than forcing him to regergitate information.

Most colleges do not require perfect scores or four years of honor classes. Average to above average is fine. They look at the whole student now much more than before. Extracurricular the child was interested in, sample projects turned in and letters of recomendation. They want to see a responsible person who is open minded and ready to explore a new world of possibilities. Who understands what they learn now will affect more people everyday and they have a chance to make a difference in any line of work.

 

[cati]

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[poohbear2]

FYI

It has been proven that the ability to spell is not a sign of intelligence.

I always talk to my 10 yr old about college. I want him to start thinking about it now. But as well as good grades, I want him to be a good person, be involved etc. If that means B+ average, I am fine with that. If he is working to his potential I will accept it.

 

[Trish5768]

I've always talked casually with my kids about college and the different things that they will be able to do if they continue their education. When my DS17 was going into his freshman year, I really emphasized what good grades were going to mean as far as getting into the colleges he really wanted to go to. I think that he listened, hes an honor student and is taking several AP classes this his senior year. I never put pressure on him in elementary school, I encouraged good study habits and made sure his homework was done but always felt IMHO that childhood is way too short and should be enjoyed.
My DD10 has expressed interest in continuing her education and that makes me happy as well, but again I stess the importance of letting them be kids while they are kids. I will do the same thing for her and my DS6 as I did for their older brother as it really worked out well.
I just wanted to say before I get flamed that I DO NOT think that you are pressuring your child. I was just stating what I believe in general as to kids being kids.

 

[cati]

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[eeyore kelly]

We talk casually aboout it. For example, DD who is 8, said she wants to be a teacher. We tell her it is a four year program and she needs to make a 3.0 in high school for a tops scholarship and LSU or Southeastern has excellant programs. We also tell her she can decide to take the first two years of college at the community college and not travel as far. At this age I don't pressure them about grades as long as they are giving school a 100%

 

[sha_lyn]

DS has wanted to be a marine biologist since he was about 7, so he has known since then that college is in his future. We've been seriously looking into colleges for about a yr. He is now 15 and in 10 grade. We've also looked into what electives and other high school courses most of the colleges require or suggest for those who will be majoring in marine biology. We found a highschool program that offers what he needs (we homeschool).

 

[MinnieYC]

I went to a very competitive school from 1st grade to 12th grade, and we were encouraged not to think about the college process until 9th grade, at the earliest. Considering that for at least the past 20 years (probably more, I just don't know the exact statistic), 100% of the graduating classes went to college, including a lot of Ivy Leagues, they must have been doing something right.

In my own family, my parents took it a step further. My siblings and I were told to enjoy school, work hard, and also play hard, but not to think about the college application process until we had at least a year of high school under our belts. It must have worked, since we all went on to competitive colleges, and we all either have earned or are in the process of earing a graduate or professional degree. I'm in medical school myself.

 

[mommytutu]

Well, since dh and I are both back in school, we talk about college a lot and they see our struggles and know how important it is to us.

Our kids are 7 and 16 months. They already have college funds and dh and I have already picked which schools our kids will attend and which majors our kids will have . Do you think my kids will follow "the plan"??

Seriously though, we do talk about college and the importance of doing your best. I hang "A" papers on the fridge and go over any missed problems with ds. DS is going to be tested for GATE and I would rather him make "B"s in more advanced classes then "A"s in a class that is too easy. DS has said he wants to go to the same school as his daddy.

 

[MinnieM21]

Just let kids enjoy school and don't so much emphasis on grades but rather learning. Sometimes kids can easily get an A w/o even trying and there are kids who really do give their best effort but struggle more to get an A. Just let kids be kids and let them have fun with school.

 

[SandraM]

Poor kid.

 

[poohandwendy]

A 96 on a spelling test is NOT exceptable!!

Sorry, I just had to laugh when I read this ^

I am all for doing everything we can as parents to guide our children in their educational experience. I also think college is very important, we talk about it in small amounts while in middle school and more seriously in 8-11th grade.

That said, I think talking with a 10 yo about college/career plans 'every day' is excessive. I also think expecting 100% on every spelling test is excessive.

I would tread lightly. From what you have said, I think you are pushing too hard for the age. Try to remember he is a BOY right now. He cannot be expected to have the maturity of an adult and the study habits you seem to be expecting are not age appropriate, IMHO. It is one thing to expect him to not 'slack' or get lazy, but when you say that 96% (ABOVE average) is unacceptable, well that is just unreasonable. If he aces every single test because he memorizes words, he really isn't being challenged, IMHO.

Seems to me that you are setting the stage for disappointment and his having a sense of failure if he doesn't meet your expectations for his life. That could push him away, make him resentful towards you and make his future seem oppressive rather than exciting. I would lighten up a bit.

If you really, really want him to ''learn'' and be a successful, productive and most importantly HAPPY adult, you should consider that our most important life lessons come from failure not success. When he 'blows' it due to not trying his best, trust me...he will know it.

 

[landmark]

We have two kids DD 12 and DS 6. Since I've been going back to school working on my B.S. my DD does know how important education is. Since she was in the 2nd grade I've been impressing on her how important it is to do the best you can. I do not pressure her on what grades to get but do require that she work as hard as she can. She watches me study and I try to encourage that we study together. I am always telling her how much more fun and easier it is to go to college right out of high school I have stated that it's not an option for her that she will go to college after high school. My DS is autistic and has just started kindergarten so I'm not sure what road he will take. My guess is that since he is super intelligent (reading, making change and doing addition/substraction before K) he will grasp academics very quickly and do very well. His teacher has already stated she is having a very hard time challenging him. However, the social aspect is going to be difficult for him and make school as a whole a challenge. I certainly hope that teachers along the way can overlook what appears to be behavior and see the sweet intelligent boy on the inside.

Long story short I try not to be too hard on them but do encourage them doing their best and let them know how proud I am of them for doing so. Yes, college is expected