X-Mas Briefing

Father_and_Son

Disneyland! Cause we still be here tomorrow, but o
Joined
Nov 29, 2005
Messages
109
Didn´t know if I can Post this here because it is off topic, but I got the following "Joke" in German. And the fun about it is that it includes so many englisch words that we have got used to to use in Germany. So I made an translation to english just to test if it is funny in english too, because your language has changed also during the last ten years. Hope the translation isn´t that worse.

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Briefing - XMAS 2005

As we learn from the Internet and Mass media Christmas isn’t called Christmas anymore but X-mas. For that Santa changed his Name to X-Man.

And because X-mas 2005 is coming really soon, it is time to start the X-mas-Preparations – sorry I mend Christmas-Roll-Out with Friends-Mailing Activity just in Time.

Notice:
The Christmas Kick-Off (former 1st Advent) for this Years SANCROS (Santa Claus Road Show) already has taken place on the 27th of November 2005. Therefore they started the official Come-Together of the Organizing committee under the chairmanship of the CIO (Christmas Illumination Officer) on the 6th of July.
For the first Time we organized a Project status-meeting, together with a workshop were we developed a To-do-List with a standardized Job description. Thereby we wanted to create clear areas of responsibility, a powerful Performance of the event and a optimised Give-Away-Allocation, which will increase the Service-level and helps to implement X-mas as a Brand name.

This Meeting also had the purpose:
• To debate the Situation with the Co-Head Global X-mas Markets (Santa’s Wife),
• To make sure that the Give-Away-Distribution to the new implemented Private-bestow-Centres is perfect.
• And to have a clear definition of the target group.

For the first time we are going to have Bestow-Units via Internet.
We informed the Service-Provider (Angels, Elves and Reindeers) virtually via conference call to assign the core-competences. A Bundle of Incentives and a separate team-building-event on a proper location should increase the Motivation level and at the same time help to create a standardized Corporat-Culture and –identity.
The suggestion to give every Angel a personal Coach, was cancelled because of the costs. Instead of that they decided on a client Management Conference to implement a Phone-Hotline (0,69 ct/min) in a Test area, for all the Last Minute Wishes (Oh it’s X-mas requirements) so that the added value for the presentee will increase. Through a cleverly devised Management Information System (MIS) it is possible to do a benchmark-oriented-Controlling for every Private-bestow-Centre. Low-cost-Giveaways for the mass-market are used as a Teaser and a flanking marketing method.

Furthermore they did an intensive Brainstorming to reach a consensus on the new mission statement. It is named: “Let’s keep the candles burning” and will replace the old “merry Christmas”. Santa Claus at first had a few doubts about this Corporate –Redesign, but appreciated the know-How of his Investor-Relation-Managers and accepted this progressive Consulting-attempt.

In this spirit we wish you a successful X-mas Preparation for the Year 2005 and Let’s keep the candles burning. :earboy2:
 
I think politically correct jargon sounds awful in any language Stefan! Makes my eyes glaze over!!! Sorry you've had to incorporate these awful English/Americanisms into your language!!
 
I agree Di, no wonder the French Government tried in vain to stop the slide :rolleyes:
 












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