Wwyd?

[Luvchefmic]

The first thing I would do is confirm that he is, in fact a registered sex offender.
Either way, I think every parent should discuss safety issues w/ their children.

PLEASE I understand what you are saying, I truly do BUT OP make the call..NOW...Law Enforcement have more reliable info sources than anything any of us regular citizens can obtain on the internet

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I agree with most of what is written here (at least on the first page and the very first post on page 3)

As far as his name, I am not sure you would need to know that. You have his address--so that should be sufficient to report him to police. Let them investigate it. The apartment complex might know his name, but they would not be at liberty to provide it to you.

If you believe him to be a sex offender, let the police sort it out.

 

[Tuffcookie]

In our area, sex offenders have to register thru the county sheriff's dept. You can go to their web site and actually view pictures of the registered sex offenders in the county.

Once you find out his name you can contact his parole/probation officer and find out what the restrictions are on him. You would be amazed at the different degree of classifications they give these low-lifes!

And for those that think you would immediately move...Think again. You would be shocked to know how many sex offenders live around you!

TC

 

[Buzz's Buddy]

OP...I didn't read the entire thread, and I'm not sure what state you are in, but I can tell you that if he was convicted of molesting little girls, there is no way that he would be permitted to live in the same house with children (in NJ anyway).

He tried to lure your children correct? That is a crime! Even if you suspect something, please contact the police and let them deal with it. Do it now...don't wait.

 

[diznygirl]

Thanks for all of your replies...just to clarify some things, the problem I'm having with all of this is that I don't know his last name, I was only told by other neighbors about him so I don't even know if it's 100% true, kwim? So I don't want to go to the police station without this information, Mary is going to see what she can find out about him, we are the 2 newest in the area so IDK what the others know about him or why they haven't called about him living there. I did explain, as I have before, to my DDs 9 & 7 about strangers, and I specifically told them about not being allowed around Mike AT ALL. Of course they want to know why, I don't want to terrorize them but I did tell them that he is not someone that little girls need to be around. I will not be letting my DDs out of my sight at all, even if that means that they have to spend some time inside with me, until I get some more info. I even thought about having the Gfs DD come over to my house and trying to find out from her, who he is and if anything has happened to her but the mom and I already had it out over this so IDK if she will be allowed to play with my DDs now.

***? You don't need his name! Call the police - show them where he lives. What are you waiting for? Two ice pops for two little girls and he was calling their names into an empty apartment??

I wouldn't wait to check a strange man's first, last name or offender status before calling the cops and letting them know a strange man tried to lure my two young girls into his apartment. Let the cops sort out the hairy details (name/status).

OP, YOU just make the call. Now. Not tomorrow, not later. Right this second.

If he were innocent of any wrongdoing, then let the cops scare some sense into him. If he's truly a sex offender, then let them haul his disgusting butt away.

ITA! Call and let the cops take care of it. If nothing else, it will teach him a lesson about being too friendly to little girls. At the most, it gets a predator off the streets.

 

[tzolkin]

The first thing I would do is confirm that he is, in fact a registered sex offender.

I agree that she should find out if he is actually a sex offender instead of just making assumptions based on what others have said.

However, I think the best way to do this would be to call the police and ask them about it and mention the fact that he was trying to get her DDs to come into his apt.


I don't know much about the laws and requirements (I don't know any sex offenders), but I wouldn't trust a quick computer search of sex offenders to definitively rule this guy out. Perhaps he is at a level that he doesn't have to be listed or perhaps he might be lying about his residence if he's not allowed to be around children (says he's living with his brother, but is really living with GF and her kids).


I'm sure the OP feels awkward calling to report someone that she's not sure is a sex offender or not, but I think the police would expect a call for the incident either way. The one time I have called the police was on some one who was not doing anything wrong, but I'm still glad I called. He was an insurance salesman who came to my door with no busniness cards, no brochures or company info, and he never made eye contact and kept craning to look around me into my house. After 10 minutes of debating with myself whether I should call the police or not, I had basically convinced myself that he was going to return with a partner to rob my house or kill me. It turns out it was his first day on the job (no cards yet), it was a "green" company (no extra papers), and he was just socially awkward. I felt ridiculous (even when I called I told the officer maybe I was just being paranoid), but the officer assured me that he could understand exactly why I called (he acknolwledged the guy was creepy) and that he would want anyone to call the police in that situation to have the person checked out.

 

[mickeylove2]

I called my BIL who is a police officer, he is going to look into this for me. I looked on the family watch dog website...OH MY I never knew I lived near so many people on that site! And I live about 3 blocks from a middle school!!! I did not go through every offender, there were too many, but if he is registered, he's not using that address. Anywho- my BIL is gonna find out what he can about the guy, as far as trying to lure my DDs inside, he said it's gonna be hard to prove, AND my DDs would have to testify, do I really want to put them through that, etc. So we'll see what he finds out before I decide what else to do.

 

[wilderness01]

I'm sorry, but I think you should call the police and let them sort it out. Even if he isn't a sex offender, what he tried to do is wrong. Sure it is his word against your daughter's if it went that far, but maybe a "friendly" visit from your local police department would let him know you mean business.

Do not let this go. Can you get out of your lease?

 

[ccgirl]

Since you said you cannot believe how many registered sex offenders you live near I would say to move right away!!!! I know I wouldn't want to live there with my two young children.

 

[bumbershoot]

I called my BIL who is a police officer, he is going to look into this for me. I looked on the family watch dog website...OH MY I never knew I lived near so many people on that site! And I live about 3 blocks from a middle school!!! I did not go through every offender, there were too many, but if he is registered, he's not using that address. Anywho- my BIL is gonna find out what he can about the guy, as far as trying to lure my DDs inside, he said it's gonna be hard to prove, AND my DDs would have to testify, do I really want to put them through that, etc. So we'll see what he finds out before I decide what else to do.

OH my gosh. Call the police!

Let's get rid of the offender part.

A man, who was alone, tried to get your daughters into his apartment.

What do you do?

Call the police! That's what you do.

Don't think about trials and whatnot, there was no crime (unless attempted luring is a crime?) at this time. But someone needs to get to his apartment and officially meet him and talk with him and explain to him that what he did was inappropriate.

Now go check out The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker, from your library and read it! After calling the police.

Since you said you cannot believe how many registered sex offenders you live near I would say to move right away!!!! I know I wouldn't want to leave there with my two young children.

Oh...have you looked at your own area? Checked out most areas? I would bet that there are more areas with many offenders than there are areas with no offenders out there....

 

[mickeylove2]

OH my gosh. Call the police!

Let's get rid of the offender part.

A man, who was alone, tried to get your daughters into his apartment.

What do you do?

Call the police! That's what you do.

Don't think about trials and whatnot, there was no crime (unless attempted luring is a crime?) at this time. But someone needs to get to his apartment and officially meet him and talk with him and explain to him that what he did was inappropriate.
Now go check out The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker, from your library and read it! After calling the police.



Oh...have you looked at your own area? Checked out most areas? I would bet that there are more areas with many offenders than there are areas with no offenders out there....

This is exactly what my BIL is going to do...I consider it completly taken care of, when my BIL says not to worry about it, he will take care of it, I know it's a done deal. LOL He even told me to have dinner ready for him when he comes by tonight, and he will be bringing 2 other state troopers in the area with him! As long as this guy is legit, they are just gonna scare some sense into him, now if he is really a child molester, they will do what they have to do about it.

 

[taylor3297]

I called my BIL who is a police officer, he is going to look into this for me. I looked on the family watch dog website...OH MY I never knew I lived near so many people on that site! And I live about 3 blocks from a middle school!!! I did not go through every offender, there were too many, but if he is registered, he's not using that address. Anywho- my BIL is gonna find out what he can about the guy, as far as trying to lure my DDs inside, he said it's gonna be hard to prove, AND my DDs would have to testify, do I really want to put them through that, etc. So we'll see what he finds out before I decide what else to do.

Not all sex offenders are required not to live near a school. There are many, like another poster said, have to register because of "teen" love. I know a guy who has to register where ever he moves, because when he was 19 he had sex with his 17 year old girl friend. Girl friends parents found out, pressed charges, and he was convicted as a sex offender.

Report this guy to your local police. Just explain that you had heard rumors about this guy and the situation that occurred. This way, it gets you around the part of trying to figure out if he really is a sex offender and if in the end he isn't, the police may just go and have a good talking with him. If it ends up that he is, then they can take it from there.

 

[amandaluvsgoofy]

After reading this I am sick to my stomach. Then I looked at the site and cannot believe how many registered sex offenders live in our area!! I shutter to think our daughter might encounter one! Needless to say, we will have talks about these types of people when she gets older!
I can't wait to hear what your BIL finds out and what he does/says to the jerk!

 

[ccgirl]

OH my gosh. Call the police!

Let's get rid of the offender part.

A man, who was alone, tried to get your daughters into his apartment.

What do you do?

Call the police! That's what you do.

Don't think about trials and whatnot, there was no crime (unless attempted luring is a crime?) at this time. But someone needs to get to his apartment and officially meet him and talk with him and explain to him that what he did was inappropriate.

Now go check out The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker, from your library and read it! After calling the police.



Oh...have you looked at your own area? Checked out most areas? I would bet that there are more areas with many offenders than there are areas with no offenders out there....

Actually, I have. There is 1 level 3 offender 2 miles away from my house and that's it. The OP asked for advice and I gave it, no need to judge others about the advice they give.

 

[ccgirl]

OP- Please keep us updated and let us know how you make out. Good luck.

 

[Dee77]

Now go check out The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker, from your library and read it! After calling the police.

.

As I was reading this thread all I could think of was the premise of this exact book and what it advises. We are the only species on the planet that will actually ignore our intuition when given an uncomfortable situation or threatening one. We rationalize that we don't want to make a judgement of a person or situation just in case we are wrong. Our intuition is there for a reason, follow it.

Call the police immediately, they are the ones that will be the most familiar with this individual and what his status is/may be. Plus they will be aware if anyone else in your neighborhood has made similar claims.

If another parent witnessed the exact same behavior as you did, you would want them to report it before he got his hands on either of your children, right?

 

[sunnyday123]

Seriously? Call the police now. Tell them a registed sex offender tried to lure your girls inside his place and you want him stopped before a child is raped or murdered. That should get their attention. Find out if you can contact his parole officer or whatever you have to do. He tried to entice your DDs into his house while his GF was not there. Gee, you think he MAY have been up to no good? Thank God someone caught on to what he was doing. The odds are, he has restrictions against contact with children. I wouldn't be surprised if he shouldn't even be anywhere around his GF's 2 kids. For that matter, I'm such a freak about child molesters that I'd call CPS on her stupid *** for having her kids around a registered sex offender and putting them at risk. Basically, I'd be on the phone all day until that guy was headed off behind bars.

What she said, because she did it without the words I would have used. And why are you not posting that you already have called the police? This isn't something that anyone with half a brain would say, "gee you might have overreacted."

I know in my state, once convicted they are not allowed around children, period. There has been a case or two where some dumb-horses-behind woman has shacked up with one, and had a baby-who was then taken away.

I would have called the police the day I found out he was living with children, and had been convicted of that.

My DD wouldn't go outside, and I would be telling the rental office I was moving and wanted my deposit back or I would announce to everyone what he was and where he lived. No way in a very hot place would I stay there, especially after that.

 

[iwrbnd]

I knew what you meant too, iwrbnd. I was thinking along the same as the above.

Thank you! I didn't mean to offend anyone. I'm glad it made sense to some people!

 

[OceanAnnie]

Thank you! I didn't mean to offend anyone. I'm glad it made sense to some people!

You're welcome.

I think a lot of times people do understand what someone is trying to convey and they don't comment one way or the other. In other words, I think there are probably more than just 2 that understood you.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

S#xual Offender Act of 1994 (Megan's Law) you can check to see if/where/who the sexual offenders are that live near you. In my state they even give first and last names and even a picture if on file. Search for your address here http://www.familywatchdog.us/

Except that if this man is living with children, and his crime was against children, then he's likely lying about his address and registered elsewhere.

I like the suggestion of walking down to the police station, and talking about this in person. I don't think it warrants a 911 call, because 911 is for emergencies that are currently happening, and your girls are safe right now - just don't let them out alone until this is addressed.

I also wouldn't beat around the bush with my kids for 2 reasons -- one is that I'd want them to be scare of him, and to know that they have permission to be rude or loud if needed to get away from him. The other is that when we use euphemisms to talk about things like sex abuse we're helping the offenders who want kids to know that these are shameful things we don't talk about. I'd sit the kids down and say "This is a man who has hurt children. This is what he did (if you know). If you see him come inside. If he talks to you, run away. If he touches you, or asks you to come inside or chases you when you run then scream "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU ARE NOT MY DADDY" at the top of your lungs".