Wwyd?

[wildernessDad]

We're having friends coming with us this May and they aren't paying for accommodations. They are paying for their part of the Safaris, their themepark tickets, etc.

 

[circhead]

I too have bought many people with us without any type of up front agreement. Most of my friends and family have reciprocated by treating us to a nice dinner or a spa treatment.

There have been a few that did nothing and just used my frinedship to stay in accomodations thay never would have done on their own. (They stay off property or in the values). I have even gotten reports on these people badmouthing me after the trip was over. IMO people reveal their true selves when offered a chance like this and how they respond to your generousity says alot about them. I have lost 2 friendships over this but most of the people I have brought with me I would bring again. Their response to my simple offer was astonishing - their generousity in wanting to reciprocate was fabulous. I never would have treated myself to a spa treatment but when a prepaid reservation was presented to me to say thank you - It was overwhelming and what a great treat.

I think you might have learned a hard lesson, but don't let this one group discourage you from bringing others - in my experience most people reciprocate in some very generous way.

 

[FindTheMickeys]

I have brought family mostly and I would never ask for a cent. I took my best friend one year and when she attempted to 'pay' for the accomodations, I refused. Her company was what I wanted, not her money! Friendship shouldn't be about the $$$ but the company (from your side of the coin). Their side of the coin should be that they should offer to pay and give you the right to refuse. I am hosting a reunion of friends in the THV in 2010 and wouldn't think of asking for a dime for the room! My offer is because I can and for the company of friends I love to be with!

 

[robinb]

Since you and your friend talked about her renting from you before the trip, I think you have an opening to request some kind of payment now. I would include as pricing points for them of the rack rate of the studio *and* how much it would be to rent the studio at the going rate of $12 per point and then see what they offer. You could also include the cost of your maintenance fees if that's the minimum that you would want for your points.

Good luck! I too learned my lesson long ago when we treated my DH's brother's family INCLUDING park passes for the adults (back in 1999 at OKW, they were free at the time) and they offered to buy NOTHING for us. Not even a single meal. *sigh* Since then I say what I want from people (buy us dinner at California Grill, etc) and they have not been invited back.

 

[Goofy's apprentice]

Tricky situation !

We invited family this year. Up front we said that this one trip would be on us as far as accomodations went. They got their own plane tickets and we suggested options for park tickets (we eventually purchased and they paid us back). When there we decided to cook to keep meal costs affordable for them. Should they want to come back another time, we would request something minimal (say maintenance fees on the extra points...or something). They were appreciative and we had a great time but they didn't really offer to apy anything extra while down there. This didn't upset us as we didn't expect it and we know their financial situation made the trip expensive for them even with not paying for the accomodations.

We have invited friends in the past. We decided ahead of time what we would like to compensate for the extra point usage. It is usually minimal and still makes it a cheap vacation in a great spot for them. It must be ok with them because they have repeatedly come with us and we look forward to more trips in the future. We joined DVC because friends invited us down and we paid a minimal cost for the vacation to them and didn't mind. They would have continued to invite us but we wanted points of our own !!!

 

[Fishy63]

Thanks so much everyone! I truely appreciate everyone's stories and advice. It's a perdicament (sp?) of our own making for sure but experience is the best teacher. It is never good to assume what/ if people are going to act like you would. It is not worth the friendship but it does offer perspective and a lesson.

Again, thanks all and take care!

 

[robinb]

Thanks so much everyone! I truely appreciate everyone's stories and advice. It's a perdicament (sp?) of our own making for sure but experience is the best teacher. It is never good to assume what/ if people are going to act like you would. It is not worth the friendship but it does offer perspective and a lesson.

Again, thanks all and take care!

They *did* try to bring it up but you were too tipsy to discuss it. I don't blame you, I wouldn't want to talk money when I'm drinking either. Both from an impairment standpoint and an "I'm having too much fun to discuss money!" standpoint. Don't count them out for doing the right thing yet.

FWIW, I always split out the charges by room key number together before we check out. I still think that sending them their bill for their charged expenses is a good opening to discuss the rest of the charges.

 

[Terri2007]

I think the answer to your question depends on how you feel the trip was arranged. Just because you reserved the room with your points does not necessarily make you the host/hostess and hence, responsible for paying for their portion of the accomodations. It really depends on the nature of the original discussion and the relationship you have with these other people. There is nothing wrong with going on trips with friends and splitting the costs. The fact that you reserved the rooms with your points does not make it any more your responsibiity. Nor does it make you less of a friend or less generous in the instance you do not assume the full share of the costs. Especially, if this is what you had discussed (loosely) prior to the trip. Heck, even paying what the rental would have cost on a per point basis would save a significant amount of money for your friends.

Now the scenario where you invite someone to come with you as your guest - which you would clearly state prior to the trip, is another story. Or if you invite someone who would otherwise not have gone/could not have gone without your financial help, is also an exception.

Of course, as you mention, it feels difficult, since the trip has come and gone. Looking at it from the other perspective, I wonder why you have not been contacted by the other party saying "Hey, what do we owe you?" since clearly this was discussed, at least in loose terms, prior to the trip. That could just be me though, because I would never expect someone to cover the expense of my accomodations unless they won the lottery! I do not expect money from my friends and would feel ashamed/duplicitous to take it in most circumstances.

This certainly can be a difficult topic. An analogy would be dinner. We occasionally go out to dinner with our local friends - and we always split the costs of the dinner. This is regardless of who contacted the other party to go out. Why would we expect them to pay for our meal or vice versa? However, when we have friends come into town that we have not seen in awhile, we insist on taking them out and grab the check. If they argue we always say that they are in our town and it is our pleasure to host. When I had my birthday party at a restaurant and invited all of our friends to join us, of course we paid the bill - we were the hosts. I bring this up to illustrate that it is how the dinner (in your case -trip) is arranged and the nature of the relationship between parties. As you mentioned in your post, you did not expect to host and you discussed this with your friends. There is nothing wrong with that! Give them a call. I hope you work it out.

Good luck !