WWYD... School related...

[thebeesknees]

OP, you know your daughter best, so only you can make this decision. I think everyone here has given you a lot of great points to think about. We struggled with this decision this year, as well. In the end, I decided not to skip DS. We had homeschooled up to this year, and he had done 2 years' worth of work in one year, so I could have put him into 4th grade this year. It finally boiled down to his social skills and size. He is naturally small to begin with - combine that with being the youngest in his class, and I wasn't ready for him to be in a class with all those other, more mature, pre-pubescent boys. There are some things an 8-year-old is not emotionally ready for (some of those boys will be turning 11 partway through the year), and I started thinking about him getting picked on for being so small and smart. I just couldn't do it to him. His teacher this year has been fantastic. The kids go to other classes for math and reading, anyway, so she had him put in with the 4th-graders for math and reading. The rest of the time, he is in with the other 3rd-graders. He is completely blossoming. I also got to wondering what the fuss was to get him "done" with school a year sooner. In the end, we all go to college and start working - will it really make a difference if he starts a full-time job at the age of 21 instead of 22? This way, he is at the top of his class, instead of spending time being frustrated because he lacks the maturity of the other kids. My friend went ahead and grade-skipped her son this year and he is having a very hard time socially, and they are considering bumping him back down at the end of the quarter. I realize every child is different, so I encourage you to talk to your DD's teacher and the rest of the staff to see what you can do to challenge her, whether that means letting her do more challenging work in her current grade, or eventually grade-skipping her. Best of luck to you, whatever you decide!

 

[zoemurr]

Honestly, I have yet to read anyone "skip bashing". Advice was given so that the OP can think about the future and not just the right now. My ex was grade skipped and graduated young. He had to have his mother sign a waiver for him to join the military and he has even decided that it is NOT in the best interest of OUR child to skip. He was one of the older kids in his grade whereas our middle DD is one of the youngest and has been all through school. She is in class with kids almost 2 years if not already 2 years older than her in some cases. Most kids are only a year older than her but some have been held back from starting on time and held back for whatever other reason. She is in the GT program as well as advanced in all subjects that offer advancement. Her GT covers all her classes and every year it is the same thing. We end up with the GT services plan within a couple of weeks of school. She has tested for the Explore test and will be taking the ACT (her choice between the ACT and SAT) in a couple of months. She has been given many options for aditional testing and programs and has been invited to many GT programs. Currently she is in a National math competition selected based off of her test scores (99th percentile for this state). So yes, I know what it is like to have a child who doesn't learn much at school but we have been able to do more for her at home.

I shared MY thoughts with the OP just as many others have shared their thoughts. Great that kids skip but what happens if they skip now and start struggling in in middle school and high school grades?? Skipping is not always a good thing and thus people are trying to help the OP really understand everything and not just the here and now. I don't want my kids taking a year off between high school and college as it makes it harder to go back to school (my own experience and that of many friends has helped me understand this). My kids have their tuition covered at any public college in the US and they know that it is in their best interest to use it. Oh and one of my son's friends got a full ride to Harvard because of his intelligence and his mother chose not to advance him a grade either. That kid is like my daughter and wicked smart. I am so very happy for him as his family could not afford college for him otherwise as his father is deceased and his mother is disabled. She did not want him being the youngest in his grade and the school system had him in advanced classes as well as GT.

So just because some choose not to let their kids skip a grade and share their thoughts with the OP does not mean anyone is "skip bashing". The OP has to make the final decision for her child but giving her the future to think about and not just the now will help her to better think about it. Some parents only think of the right now (not because they want to throw skipping a grade into someone's face but just because it is not something that always crosses one's mind).

sorry if you didn't like my choice of words. I was only explaining that at this point I thought that skipping was OUR best choice for OUR DD. Actually, I don't think I mentioned OPs kid in my post at all, (or yours) or told her what she should do. I was just sharing our experience. And yes, the publication "A Nation Deceived" mentioned by another PP is a great resource that explains many success stories.

Thank you for pointing out that I am only parenting in the "here and now" and not thinking ahead for my DD. It was a very hard decision but one that I do not regret at this point. Yes, I admit that we may regret it in the future, just as we may have regretted not skipping her. I took a year off to travel during college and had no trouble going back, and it greatly helped me determine what I wanted to do. (Everyone in the group of 100 students I travelled with all returned to school as well.) My aunt is a 50yr old lawyer who skipped K. She said there was no harm done at all. Clearly every experience is different. As I said my DD's confidence was at rock bottom and moving her up was our solution.

 

[Tistal]

I will never understand the concept of "either/or" when parents decide about homeschooling/public school. If you have the time, why not teach your daughter after school has ended? Music lessons, trips to the local museums, get her started in several new languages on the computer, whatever. By this time next year, she will be able to skip a year; but she will have learned new material and acquired important social skills.

I am a public high school teacher and "homeschool" should happen all the time, regardless of where the child is enrolled.

This is what learning is all about

 

[Leajess99]

sorry if you didn't like my choice of words. I was only explaining that at this point I thought that skipping was OUR best choice for OUR DD. Actually, I don't think I mentioned OPs kid in my post at all, (or yours) or told her what she should do. I was just sharing our experience. And yes, the publication "A Nation Deceived" mentioned by another PP is a great resource that explains many success stories.

Thank you for pointing out that I am only parenting in the "here and now" and not thinking ahead for my DD. It was a very hard decision but one that I do not regret at this point. Yes, I admit that we may regret it in the future, just as we may have regretted not skipping her. I took a year off to travel during college and had no trouble going back, and it greatly helped me determine what I wanted to do. (Everyone in the group of 100 students I travelled with all returned to school as well.) My aunt is a 50yr old lawyer who skipped K. She said there was no harm done at all. Clearly every experience is different. As I said my DD's confidence was at rock bottom and moving her up was our solution.

At NO point in time did I say you were only parenting in the here and now. I said some parents do and that was not directly pointed at you. I know a couple of people here that that is all they think about. They never consider the future aspects. Did you not say your child was tested using the Iowa test (I could be thinking of a different poster)??

If you had the proper testing and feel she can handle it than that was YOUR option. You seem to have made sure it was handled like it should be but too many times there are others that don't take into consideration the child or the future for them. As I said before I know people who forced the school to advance their children in subjects only for those kids to struggle because of frustration (and we are not talking years later). Why they would do that to the child I have no understanding other than it makes them look good. These are people I know. They did not have special testing done other than the normal testing the school district does here. I could never imagine forcing the school to advance my kids if they are not getting it and going to be frustrated. I have a child who could very well have been grade skipped but we chose not to as she is already one of the youngest in her grade. The schools have worked with us to make sure she is challenged even if that meant pulling her from class for more challenging work and enrichment. I also don't want my kids taking the year off because of the experiences and knowledge I have from others who have taken the year off to include myself (I joined the military instead of going to school but I am finishing my degree).