WWYD? Re: Pet sitter

[LisaR]

The way you told it originally made it sound a lot longer. So yeah, a few minutes probably wasn't anything. The problem with the bolded is that if she half assed the job and then lied to you about it, I doubt anything you said made an impact. If anything, she probably left rolling her eyes and thinking about the witchy lady. Just my opinion.

I swear it was a minutes worth of conversation. Honestly, I wasn't rude or nasty to her at all. It was a quick conversation, admittedly with me doing most of the talking. I didn't say YOU LIED!!!!! I didn't scream, I just told her the things she did that I didn't appreciate and it was over. She didn't cry or even look like she was going to cry! It wasn't that long ago that my daughter was that age. I wouldn't berate a kid (or anyone, really) but I did tell her what I wasn't happy about. But I agree, it probably didn't make any difference. I did have her scheduled for two other longer dates and I just really felt (at least at that moment) that she needed to know why she wouldn't be coming back. Again, I can admit when I am wrong. I can see what people are saying about just handing her the money and letting it go. That was my husband's suggestion. Probably should have listened to him. Shhhhh....don't tell him I said that!

 

[ronandannette]

I swear it was a minutes worth of conversation. Honestly, I wasn't rude or nasty to her at all. It was a quick conversation, admittedly with me doing most of the talking. I didn't say YOU LIED!!!!! I didn't scream, I just told her the things she did that I didn't appreciate and it was over. She didn't cry or even look like she was going to cry! It wasn't that long ago that my daughter was that age. I wouldn't berate a kid (or anyone, really) but I did tell her what I wasn't happy about. But I agree, it probably didn't make any difference. I did have her scheduled for two other longer dates and I just really felt (at least at that moment) that she needed to know why she wouldn't be coming back. Again, I can admit when I am wrong. I can see what people are saying about just handing her the money and letting it go. That was my husband's suggestion. Probably should have listened to him. Shhhhh....don't tell him I said that!

FWIW - I think you did fine.

 

[wilkeliza]

Yes, there is. It is no kindness to allow somebody to think that lies, evasion and excuses are acceptable and getting them by when they actually are not.

I didn't say let them get away with it. I meant no need to say "I need you to tell me the truth" or "what time did you come over?". Just simply said based on our security system I know you did not do the job as asked and had someone else in our home. Due to this we won't be using you again as a sitter. Either way the sitter was in the wrong and Op can't change what they did so it doesn't really matter. The OP wasn't wrong I just realized I would have probably cut to the chase and not given the sitter the ability to fess up or lie to my face as the damage was done and them fessing up wouldn't have changed my lack of trust in them as a sitter.

 

[LisaR]

I'm sorry, but I would have been upset too - mostly w/ the lying.

Thankfully, your dogs were fine, & she did come by & feed & walk them. However, she did not do what you wanted her to do, did not do what she said she would do, & then lied about it. Had you not questioned her & told her you had the security cameras, you never would have known.

Since when did we start giving kids such a free pass on things & expecting so little from them?

Had it been my kids, I would have wanted them to know why someone wasn't happy/pleased w/ the job they had done as well.

I might have been more lenient w/ a dog sitter - For example, I probably wouldn't have cared had she brought a friend. However, if you don't really know her, you don't really know her friend either, & do you really want someone you don't anything about in your home, knowing you're out of town?

And, at any rate, it doesn't matter whether or not you were strict w/ your requests. If she said she would do it as you instructed, then that's what she should have done.

The only reason why I didn't want her to bring anyone else with her (and yes, I told her this the very first time we met) was that my old dog is well....old! He doesn't hear well or see well anymore. He is the sweetest, nicest dog ever, but because he's struggling with hearing and seeing, we've noticed he gets startled easily. He loves other dogs, but when we walk him now, he doesn't notice other people/dogs until we are fairly close and he ends up barking because it startles him. He never used to do that. So while she was here the first time (maybe 15 minutes) I explained how he is just getting older and persnickety. He does better with females, quite environment, not much change, etc.

 

[wilkeliza]

I swear it was a minutes worth of conversation. Honestly, I wasn't rude or nasty to her at all. It was a quick conversation, admittedly with me doing most of the talking. I didn't say YOU LIED!!!!! I didn't scream, I just told her the things she did that I didn't appreciate and it was over. She didn't cry or even look like she was going to cry! It wasn't that long ago that my daughter was that age. I wouldn't berate a kid (or anyone, really) but I did tell her what I wasn't happy about. But I agree, it probably didn't make any difference. I did have her scheduled for two other longer dates and I just really felt (at least at that moment) that she needed to know why she wouldn't be coming back. Again, I can admit when I am wrong. I can see what people are saying about just handing her the money and letting it go. That was my husband's suggestion. Probably should have listened to him. Shhhhh....don't tell him I said that!

Yeah that doesn't sound as bad as the exact word for word. I agree telling her why is right especially if you had other sitting appointments set up with her.

My added "change of mind" was more about the I need you to be honest with me. That's just a personal thing but not terrible by any means.

 

[Nettester]

I would have paid her the agreed to amount, said a very brief but respectful thank you, and that's it. Then I would never hire her again.

If SHE ever approached me again and asked about pet sitting again, I would THEN have said, "no thank you, we have security cameras, and I wasn't pleased about the way you handled the job last time I hired you"

If she really doesn't get it (and she probably does) I would recall the details you mentioned in your post.

Not worth it to make a deal of it otherwise.

 

[ronandannette]

I didn't say let them get away with it. I meant no need to say "I need you to tell me the truth" or "what time did you come over?". Just simply said based on our security system I know you did not do the job as asked and had someone else in our home. Due to this we won't be using you again as a sitter. Either way the sitter was in the wrong and Op can't change what they did so it doesn't really matter. The OP wasn't wrong I just realized I would have probably cut to the chase and not given the sitter the ability to fess up or lie to my face as the damage was done and them feeding up wouldn't have changed my lack of trust in them as a sitter.

I understand that better now - I agree with you. One thing I never do is give a liar another chance to lie.

 

[LisaR]

Yeah that doesn't sound as bad as the exact word for word. I agree telling her why is right especially if you had other sitting appointments set up with her.

My added "change of mind" was more about the I need you to be honest with me. That's just a personal thing but not terrible by any means.

And that part really was word for word. I started off that way thinking/hoping she was going to prove my system wrong. As soon as she started stuttering around, I knew everything I suspected was true so I threw in the security system to prevent her from digging deeper. After that, I pretty much just listed the other couple things off and asked if she did come the night before. If after all that, she admitted she didn't come that night, I was going to pay her less. Since she said she did come, I just handed her off the money, said I wouldn't be using her again and ended it. Maybe I could have started it off on a different note.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

FWIW - I think you did fine.

Me, too. Hopefully, she'll learn from this experience and grow from it. By not telling her, you don't give her the chance to learn a good lesson.

 

[wilkeliza]

And that part really was word for word. I started off that way thinking/hoping she was going to prove my system wrong. As soon as she started stuttering around, I knew everything I suspected was true so I threw in the security system to prevent her from digging deeper. After that, I pretty much just listed the other couple things off and asked if she did come the night before. If after all that, she admitted she didn't come that night, I was going to pay her less. Since she said she did come, I just handed her off the money, said I wouldn't be using her again and ended it. Maybe I could have started it off on a different note.

Makes sense especially dealing with a 16 year old.

 

[LisaR]

I would have paid her the agreed to amount, said a very brief but respectful thank you, and that's it. Then I would never hire her again.

If SHE ever approached me again and asked about pet sitting again, I would THEN have said, "no thank you, we have security cameras, and I wasn't pleased about the way you handled the job last time I hired you"

If she really doesn't get it (and she probably does) I would recall the details you mentioned in your post.

Not worth it to make a deal of it otherwise.

Honestly, after tonight, I don't really plan on thinking about it again. I can't imagine seeing her in a month and her asking why I haven't called her to pet sit. I just don't think that would happen. I'm the type to say something at the moment or let it go. If I am not over it in a month from now, something is seriously wrong with me! It wouldn't even dawn on me to say something at that point.

Edited to add: Thinking about this a little more, I think I would actually be snarky down the road compared to tonight when I was level headed but to the point. I may have picked a few wrong words tonight, but i was polite. If she actually confronted me in a month or two about pet sitting, I think I'd laugh and say, "Really??" I wouldn't rehash the entire thing at that point. It's today or never in my mind.

 

[nancygirl1]

I swear it was a minutes worth of conversation. Honestly, I wasn't rude or nasty to her at all. It was a quick conversation, admittedly with me doing most of the talking. I didn't say YOU LIED!!!!! I didn't scream, I just told her the things she did that I didn't appreciate and it was over. She didn't cry or even look like she was going to cry! It wasn't that long ago that my daughter was that age. I wouldn't berate a kid (or anyone, really) but I did tell her what I wasn't happy about. But I agree, it probably didn't make any difference. I did have her scheduled for two other longer dates and I just really felt (at least at that moment) that she needed to know why she wouldn't be coming back. Again, I can admit when I am wrong. I can see what people are saying about just handing her the money and letting it go. That was my husband's suggestion. Probably should have listened to him. Shhhhh....don't tell him I said that!

I don't agree with just letting it go. In my opinion she needed to be held accountable for what she did/didn't do. It would have done her no favors not to say anything. I think that you were well within your right to say something. They are your dogs and their welfare and well-being is why you hired someone. Not to mention that you were paying her. She wasn't doing it as a favor. There's no way I wouldn't say something if I thought my fur babies weren't taken care of the way I expected them to be.

They are your dogs and you have a responsibility to speak up and defend them. You have a voice and they don't. Yes, she did some of what she was hired to do, but she also didn't deliver the level of care you made sure she knew you expected.

 

[Disney_traveler]

I would just say if stuff needs to be done for your dogs in an exact way at a specific time, then you need to take to a kennel/boarding, hire a professional, or take them with you.

Truthfullly, to me, watching your security alerts and video feed is micromanaging.

 

[LisaR]

I would just say if stuff needs to be done for your dogs in an exact way at a specific time, then you need to take to a kennel/boarding, hire a professional, or take them with you.

Truthfullly, to me, watching your security alerts and video feed is micromanaging.

Well, all of my pet sitters in the past haven't had an issue. Not sure why you think I was "watching" anything. I get an alert on my phone when a door or window is opened, and yes, I check to see why I got that alert whether I am on vacation or at the grocery store. If I was going to ignore the alerts, I wouldn't have a security system.

 

[Snap Crackle Pop]

I feel like it was a little condescending. I would have just said, "Thank you for your services, I will not be using you again because you couldn't follow my directions." paid her and let her go.

I would have been annoyed, but if my animals were fine and healthy, that is all that really matters to me. I wouldn't have made a stink about it unless something bad had happened to them (like it was clear she was not here for 24 hours, or if they had accidents in the house.) But it sounds like that did not happen so I would have just said what I said above.

 

[wishesuponastar]

I agree that something had to be said so the teen learns but probably not as much as was. I would have said "I will not be hiring you again because my dog is elderly like I told you and you didn't walk him one last time at night which made him suffer.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think it was pretty crappy and insensitive of her to leave your dogs to go without going to the bathroom for 16 hrs! I probably would've said something primarily about that because there are some pets who wouldn't be able to hold it that long and you'd then have soiled floors or carpets, etc. (not to mention how uncomfortable the pets undoubtedly were overnight) but I don't see why you shouldn't mention the rest, either. That was what you were paying her for!

I'm with the camp that thinks if you don't tell her, you deprive her of growth and improvement.

This is the second thread within a week with this type of issue. Not sure if you saw the other one, Lisa.

 

[jevs]

I put my dog and cats in boarding when I'm away. It may be more expensive but a lot less stressful for me.

Alternatively use an older student next time, 16 yr old girls are still quite irresponsible and stupid at that age.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I would have just paid her and not hired her again---or perhaps have gently explained why I was not planning to hire her again if I had given her the impression i planned to use her often. She did feed and walk the dogs, they are safe, she did her job, just not to the exact standsards you wanted.

Except, I would not have hired a teen (or even adult non professional) to pet sit if I wanted such specific times, and was not OK with a second person going along to to walk two dogs. I have to agree that regardless of what has happened in teh past, you are asking for too much from just a "hire a neighbor" situation. I do wonder how much you pay that you want people to arrive at very specific times and basically totally schedule their day around the job? Surely if you are paying what that is worth, you could pay a kennel to board them for not much more.
I know I pay about 10€ per day for teens who live in the same set of townhomes to feed our cats---and that is "show up once sometimes in teh am and feed and give fresh water and again sometime in the pm---and if something comes up and you can only make it over once on a day, just give them the day's worth all then" Cats are easy---I know you cnanot do that with dogs. That is one of hte major reasons we do not have dogs. We travel a lot and the cost of good care for dogs while we are on vacation would be high.

It does seem like a poor decision to bring the friend into the house when getting ready to walk the dogs, but not like it was with mal intent or like htey were snooping or anyhting--just not thinking clearly enough to realize you mgiht not like it--worth mentioning nicely, but not making a fuss about. As to having both dogs out walking at once, with the friend walking one---intitially your complaint about this was the dogs rile each other up somehow? Now the extra person is about your older dog being skittish? I don'T know--it isn't clear to me even after reading your posts why this is so problematic, and honestly if I had been dog sitting and someone said not to walk two dogs who live togetehr and get along at home at the same time, I would assume it had to do with them getting the leashes tangled, etc and that if a second person had one at the same time it would not be an issue. It would never cross my mind that dogs who live together could not handle wlakign at the same time.

 

[wishesuponastar]

Regarding hiring a teen for the job, we have had the same girl take care of our dog since she was 12 or 13, I can't remember but she is 15 now and no problems whatsoever. We also put specific times for walking but we say about 9 am or about 6pm.