WWYD? Neighbor smoking weed

[Lilacs4Me]

We have lived here for 5 years. We are friendly with the neighbor to the left of us, but we are not friends. We say hi as we pass if we both happen to be in the backyard, but at the same time, I've seen him out at places around town and he didn't recognize me, so clearly we don't see each other often enough lol. We have our teen boys shovel the sidewalk for him in winter because he had knee surgery a couple winters ago (and lost his wife suddenly around the same time), and he makes sure his tree that overhangs our yard is trimmed. So, basically, we are nice to each other, as neighbors should be lol

The problem is, and I knew this was going on, but didn't know the 2nd part until a few days ago:

1. His adult son lives there with him, and smokes weed like it's going extinct, in their garage.
2. (the part I *didn't* know until this past weekend) The smoke wafts right in to my DD14's bedroom window!

Their garage isn't very far from her window, and I knew the kids could smell it when they walk past their house, but I had no idea that my DD is practically getting a contact high from this guy! lol (although it's NOT very funny!) Apparently, my DS18 used to have it come in, too, when he had that bedroom, but never said anything.

Neither of my kids smoke (anything!) but they both think it's hilarious - I guess if I were a teen and could tell my friends this story, I would think it's funny too.

However, as a parent, I really don't want my kids up at night smelling the sweet aroma of a (still, in IL) illegal drug.

WWYD? I figure I could (unfairly) make DD keep her window closed, but her room is right over the furnace and gets really stuffy, plus she loves sleeping with the window open (now I know WHY! )

Should I talk to the homeowner? I'm positive he knows his 35 year old son is a pothead, but I'm also thinking he might not be super-excited to know it's filtering into my teen daughter's bedroom at night.

***Just to be super-clear - I am not really upset or angry about this....I've known this guy smokes weed in his garage since we moved in. I just don't want it coming into my kids' bedrooms at night! (And for the record, I do think it will be a funny family story years from now!)

 

[TheDisneyNurse]

We have lived here for 5 years. We are friendly with the neighbor to the left of us, but we are not friends. We say hi as we pass if we both happen to be in the backyard, but at the same time, I've seen him out at places around town and he didn't recognize me, so clearly we don't see each other often enough lol. We have our teen boys shovel the sidewalk for him in winter because he had knee surgery a couple winters ago (and lost his wife suddenly around the same time), and he makes sure his tree that overhangs our yard is trimmed. So, basically, we are nice to each other, as neighbors should be lol

The problem is, and I knew this was going on, but didn't know the 2nd part until a few days ago:

1. His adult son lives there with him, and smokes weed like it's going extinct, in their garage.
2. (the part I *didn't* know until this past weekend) The smoke wafts right in to my DD14's bedroom window!

Their garage isn't very far from her window, and I knew the kids could smell it when they walk past their house, but I had no idea that my DD is getting a contact high from this guy! lol (although it's NOT very funny!) Apparently, my DS18 used to have it come in, too, when he had that bedroom, but never said anything.

Neither of my kids smoke (anything!) but they both think it's hilarious - I guess if I were a teen and could tell my friends this story, I would think it's funny too.

However, as a parent, I really don't want my kids up at night smelling the sweet aroma of a (still, in IL) illegal drug.

WWYD? I figure I could (unfairly) make DD keep her window closed, but her room is right over the furnace and gets really stuffy, plus she loved sleeping with the window open (now I know WHY! )

Should I talk to the homeowner? I'm positive he knows his 35 year old son is a pothead, but I'm also thinking he might not be super-excited to know it's filtering into my teen daughter's bedroom at night.

***Just to be super-clear - I am not really upset or angry about this....I've known this guy smokes weed in his garage since we moved in. I just don't want it coming into my kids' bedrooms at night! (And for the record, I do think it will be a funny family story years from now!)

I would personally mind my own business.

 

[maxiesmom]

I would mention it in a very careful, non judgy way. As in Hey, I don't mind the weed, but could you please be careful where it is smoked? And then have your daughter put a fan in her window that blows out.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I would personally mind my own business.

I've minded my own business for 5 years. The business is now mine to mind, since I now know it's coming into my 14 year old's bedroom window.

but thanks.

 

[sam_gordon]

We have lived here for 5 years. We are friendly with the neighbor to the left of us, but we are not friends. We say hi as we pass if we both happen to be in the backyard, but at the same time, I've seen him out at places around town and he didn't recognize me, so clearly we don't see each other often enough lol. We have our teen boys shovel the sidewalk for him in winter because he had knee surgery a couple winters ago (and lost his wife suddenly around the same time), and he makes sure his tree that overhangs our yard is trimmed. So, basically, we are nice to each other, as neighbors should be lol

The problem is, and I knew this was going on, but didn't know the 2nd part until a few days ago:

1. His adult son lives there with him, and smokes weed like it's going extinct, in their garage.
2. (the part I *didn't* know until this past weekend) The smoke wafts right in to my DD14's bedroom window!

Their garage isn't very far from her window, and I knew the kids could smell it when they walk past their house, but I had no idea that my DD is practically getting a contact high from this guy! lol (although it's NOT very funny!) Apparently, my DS18 used to have it come in, too, when he had that bedroom, but never said anything.

Neither of my kids smoke (anything!) but they both think it's hilarious - I guess if I were a teen and could tell my friends this story, I would think it's funny too.

However, as a parent, I really don't want my kids up at night smelling the sweet aroma of a (still, in IL) illegal drug.

WWYD? I figure I could (unfairly) make DD keep her window closed, but her room is right over the furnace and gets really stuffy, plus she loves sleeping with the window open (now I know WHY! )

Should I talk to the homeowner? I'm positive he knows his 35 year old son is a pothead, but I'm also thinking he might not be super-excited to know it's filtering into my teen daughter's bedroom at night.

***Just to be super-clear - I am not really upset or angry about this....I've known this guy smokes weed in his garage since we moved in. I just don't want it coming into my kids' bedrooms at night! (And for the record, I do think it will be a funny family story years from now!)

Based on the first paragraph, I probably wouldn't say anything. I'd put a ceiling fan in DD's room (to help circulate the air). If I was friendlier with him, I might make a passing comment about DD getting a "contact high", but that would be about it.

 

[BadPinkTink]

second vote for minding your own business.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Based on the first paragraph, I probably wouldn't say anything. I'd put a ceiling fan in DD's room (to help circulate the air). If I was friendlier with him, I might make a passing comment about DD getting a "contact high", but that would be about it.

lol

Maybe I'll tell DH to do that, they see each other a little more since they both do yardwork all summer out there

 

[TheDisneyNurse]

I've minded my own business for 5 years. The business is now mine to mind, since I now know it's coming into my 14 year old's bedroom window.

but thanks.

I stand corrected, I like the ceiling fan idea from a PP. I am just having a hard time believing it’s such an immense amount of smoke that it would cause a contact high in a neighboring house. That would have to be a lot a lot of smoke.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

second vote for minding your own business.

Which part?

The guy smoking weed part? Done

The raising of my daughter without the scent of weed in her bedroom part? That's what I am trying to mind now.

Thanks.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

I’d mind my own business and put a fan in the room.

 

[disykat]

I think the fan blowing out is a good idea.

I don't really get the "mind your own business" stuff. To me it's no different than asking them to turn down their music, move their burn pile, smoke further over, etc. You're not asking them to stop anything, just letting them know that it's coming into your space and could they move over a bit. In general, it's just common sense to do these things in the middle of your property so you infringe less on the neighbors. He's probably smoking in the garage specifically NOT to be smelled by or bothering neighbors, it's just not working. I don't see a problem with letting him know it's not. He has no way of knowing unless you tell him.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I stand corrected, I like the ceiling fan idea from a PP. I am just having a hard time believing it’s such an immense amount of smoke that it would cause a contact high in a neighboring house. That would have to be a lot a lot of smoke.

I'm pretty sure there's not enough for a contact high! That was supposed to read as tongue-in-cheek.

Not happy about the smell, though.

Ceiling fan - good idea

 

[kimblebee]

Which part?

The guy smoking weed part? Done

The raising of my daughter without the scent of weed in her bedroom part? That's what I am trying to mind now.

Thanks.

I’m with you, the second it starts to affect your family, it becomes your business.

I’d mention it but in a super casual way like you said..hey, could you ask your son to smoke somewhere else because it’s coming in our windows. Or, when you know the son is out there wander over and say hi and ask him to consider moving to the back lane or something.

I have neighbours on both sides of me that smoke and I only smell it for a minute or two. It would have to be a ton of people smoking to have a smell that lingers longer than that.

 

[gwynne]

I’d mind my own business and put a fan in the room.

And keep the window closed.

 

[Klayfish]

I completely don't understand the "mind your business" stuff. If it's going into DDs room, it's now your business.

I'd discuss with the neighbor and be clear about your concerns. If still not addressed, next step is law enforcement. Done. If the neighbor gets mad, oh well.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I completely don't understand the "mind your business" stuff. If it's going into DDs room, it's now your business.

I'd discuss with the neighbor and be clear about your concerns. If still not addressed, next step is law enforcement. Done.

I know lol People are so weird. I figured I'd get some of those comments.

Thanks!

 

[sam_gordon]

Tell them they have to go to Disney before May 1?

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Well, only recreational is illegal in Illinois, medical marijuana is legal. So what would you do when you confront him and he shows you his medical card. (PS, anyone can get one for $300, so he probably has one.)

 

[gwynne]

I completely don't understand the "mind your business" stuff. If it's going into DDs room, it's now your business.

I'd discuss with the neighbor and be clear about your concerns. If still not addressed, next step is law enforcement. Done. If the neighbor gets mad, oh well.

It's easy to close a window.
Taking the risk of long term unpleasant neighbor disputes/difficulties is not something I would do lightly. I'd control what I can control first.

 

[cabanafrau]

So now what gains entry to your home can and should be considered not your business?

I wouldn't suggest going to battlestations over it, but I don't see how it's out of line to very non confrontationally raise the subject. It's quite possible there is both a large garage door and a small side door on the garage and the neighbor might be more than willing to open/close the appropriate ones to mitigate the problem if they are aware of the situation.