WWYD - Kids Education

[famofsix]

I think I would still pursue the district he is in and try to meet the principal. If they have no PTO then try the district board meeting. Once I did that I would feel like I had more information to make a decision.
Good luck tho and congrats on the upcoming wedding

 

[golfgal]

Sort of OT, but no, not really, at least not just because you want to. 34 states have inter-district transfer laws, but most of them, including mine, have strict restrictions on what constitutes a good enough reason to transfer. Not having access to a particular dance class usually doesn't qualify. In most cases that I am familiar with that are not related to desegregation goals, the only children who qualify are those who have certain kinds of disabilities, or those who have really unusual transportation hardships.

Intra-district transfers are usually a bit easier to get, but the OP is talking about changing districts, not just changing schools within the same district.

This is why I love state wide open enrollment (and why vouchers wont' work). You don't have to have a "reason" to transfer, just fill out the paperwork on time and if there is room and you don't have a rap sheet a mile long, you are in.

 

[princessmom29]

Sort of OT, but no, not really, at least not just because you want to. 34 states have inter-district transfer laws, but most of them, including mine, have strict restrictions on what constitutes a good enough reason to transfer. Not having access to a particular dance class usually doesn't qualify. In most cases that I am familiar with that are not related to desegregation goals, the only children who qualify are those who have certain kinds of disabilities, or those who have really unusual transportation hardships.

Intra-district transfers are usually a bit easier to get, but the OP is talking about changing districts, not just changing schools within the same district.

In my experience, when most people say "School district" in this context they really mean the attendace zone for a particular school. I just assumed 30 min away would be in the same district. With no private schools in the area I would assume small town, and most small towns here do not have thier own district. Changing districts does complicate things considerably.

 

[HelenePA]

In my experience, when most people say "School district" in this context they really mean the attendace zone for a particular school. I just assumed 30 min away would be in the same district. With no private schools in the area I would assume small town, and most small towns here do not have thier own district. Changing districts does complicate things considerably.

Every school here is their own district does it work that way everywhere? I'm guessing not. OP needs to tell us more info

ETA we are ALL small towns... none over 5000 people.. most schools are Very small. 1 elem building, one jr/sr high in mine.. that's it.

 

[princessmom29]

Every school here is their own district does it work that way everywhere? I'm guessing not. OP needs to tell us more info

ETA we are ALL small towns... none over 5000 people.. most schools are Very small. 1 elem building, one jr/sr high in mine.. that's it.

No, it doesn't. There are about 40 total elementary, middle, and high schools in our district. Our entire county is one district. Most schools are in the city, but many are in outlying small towns. Those towns have only one school, but many of the kids in those towns come into the city for access to things like drama and dance.

ETA: I seriously underestimated. I went to the website and counted. 79 public schools in the district.

 

[golfgal]

In my experience, when most people say "School district" in this context they really mean the attendace zone for a particular school. I just assumed 30 min away would be in the same district. With no private schools in the area I would assume small town, and most small towns here do not have thier own district. Changing districts does complicate things considerably.

In our state most towns have their own school district with a few exceptions. I know of no district in the major metro areas that have schools in the same district 30 miles away. There are MAYBE a handful of districts in rural areas that MIGHT have schools 30 miles away.

 

[HelenePA]

No, it doesn't. There are about 40 total elementary, middle, and high schools in our district. Our entire county is one district. Most schools are in the city, but many are in outlying small towns. Those towns have only one school, but many of the kids in those towns come into the city for access to things like drama and dance.

ETA: I seriously underestimated. I went to the website and counted. 79 public schools in the district.

wow! Yeah it does not work that way everywhere! one town, one school, one district here...

 

[PAMOMOF2]

Hearing what I know helps – I know I need to make it very clear to him that the kids education is top priority – he might think everything will just be peachy keen, but their education is not something I’m willing to compromise. I will do some more research on the school district, try to talk to the teachers, principals, get a feel for their curriculum – I know they are lacking an orchestra program which makes my daughter upset, since she loves playing the viola…more discussions with my fiancé need to occur, because at this point, he just doesn’t seem to have the same concerns as I do.

In PA – there are I believe 501 public school districts – each county has X amount of school districts. The area I live in is sent to one of the county school districts, my fiancé on the other end of the county is in a different school district. To stay in our district would require me to pay tuition..

 

[Bethenny]

more discussions with my fiancé need to occur, because at this point, he just doesn’t seem to have the same concerns as I do.

This statement bears repeating. Think about that really hard.

Also, it's not just a matter of the level of education. The other schools could be perfectly fine. Consider the major life changes for your children. That's a lot for them to get used to at one time: new step dad, new house, new school. Yikes.

 

[shortbun]

I'd say the person who's looking after growing minds wins. There's a half million dollar home sitting empty at the end of our block due to a marriage and the owner moving into a lesser home but in a better school district with his new wife.

 

[NotUrsula]

No, it doesn't. There are about 40 total elementary, middle, and high schools in our district. Our entire county is one district. Most schools are in the city, but many are in outlying small towns. Those towns have only one school, but many of the kids in those towns come into the city for access to things like drama and dance.

ETA: I seriously underestimated. I went to the website and counted. 79 public schools in the district.

And to illustrate a difference, the main county in my metro area has a land area of 504 sq. miles. Within that county are 91 separate municipalities and 22 public school districts. If I pick the right road I can cross through 12 school districts in a 30 minute drive. (My commute home takes about that long, and I pass through 7 school districts on that route.)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Hearing what I know helps – I know I need to make it very clear to him that the kids education is top priority – he might think everything will just be peachy keen, but their education is not something I’m willing to compromise. I will do some more research on the school district, try to talk to the teachers, principals, get a feel for their curriculum – I know they are lacking an orchestra program which makes my daughter upset, since she loves playing the viola…more discussions with my fiancé need to occur, because at this point, he just doesn’t seem to have the same concerns as I do.

In PA – there are I believe 501 public school districts – each county has X amount of school districts. The area I live in is sent to one of the county school districts, my fiancé on the other end of the county is in a different school district. To stay in our district would require me to pay tuition..

How can you marry someone who does not have the same concerns for your children? That is a HUGE RED FLAG.

Right now you are not a match for each other.

Hopefully you can work things out OP. Right now from what you described, does not look too good.

 

[hentob]

Dad walks out on them. Now you are going to marry somebody that doesn't have concerns about their education?

 

[krcit]

Oh for gosh sakes....now everyone is questioning the OP's relationship?? Please. Maybe he is not a parent and doesn't really understand the differences from school district to school district? He probably thinks a school is a school is a school or he knows plenty of people who send their kids to school in his district and they do just fine. I really don't think her marriage is doomed because her fiance has different ideas on the school situation.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oh for gosh sakes....now everyone is questioning the OP's relationship?? Please. Maybe he is not a parent and doesn't really understand the differences from school district to school district? He probably thinks a school is a school is a school or he knows plenty of people who send their kids to school in his district and they do just fine. I really don't think her marriage is doomed because her fiance has different ideas on the school situation.

It would be for me. I would question his intelligence. Esp. since he refied and now is over his head? By how much? Maybe his financial issue has more to it and so on.......

ETA.. also I think it would it would be a good idea to find out the financial aspect of the debt she plans on assuming when she marries him. That would be a concern of mine when I found out he was in the hole with his house. Is it a lot or just a little. I think that is a valid concern.

 

[golfgal]

It would be for me. I would question his intelligence. Esp. since he refied and now is over his head? By how much? Maybe his financial issue has more to it and so on.......

Oh, please, 2 years ago EVERYONE was refinancing because interest rates were so low. We refinanced and cut $500/month off our mortgage payment, how is that a bad financial move-especially for someone, who at the time, was not planning on moving.

I would think that if this man does not have children he doesn't have the same concerns because he hasn't been responsible for children before, nothing more, nothing less. I don't think you REALLY understand the responsibility of being a parent until you become one full time. It has nothing to do with intelligence.

 

[tonilea]

I would put more time and effort into checking out his school district. You might be pleasantly suprised.

 

[krcit]

Home values have gone down so much in the past 2 years, I'm sure alot of people would take a loss if they sold now. Plus the guy was in the hospital for 5+ months after serving our country. Anyway, OP asked advice on the school issue with her kids, not her relationship.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Home values have gone down so much in the past 2 years, I'm sure alot of people would take a loss if they sold now. Plus the guy was in the hospital for 5+ months after serving our country. Anyway, OP asked advice on the school issue with her kids, not her relationship.

Yes, you are right. I would not compromise my kids education but that is just me.

 

[C.Ann]

What about aplying for a transfer for the kids to the school you want them in? It is not that hard to get here, if you know how to go about it. If your target school has any program not offered at the school you are districted for and your child wants to participate then the transfer must be granted unless the school you are looking to go to is at capacity. This includes any type of art, music, dance, theater, ect. your child wants to participate in that is not offered at their home school. I am pretty sure most states have this kind of setup to ensure equal access to services.

This is similar to what I was going to say.. The school district that I used to live in several years ago would allow children from another city (or district) to attend in our district - providing they paid tuition.. Included in the cost of the tuition was transportation to and from our district..

Might that apply where you are - if you were to move into your future DH's home? Would it be financially possible?

Good luck with your decision - and welcome to the CB..