WWYD - family drama/vicious dog

[Cindy B]

Here's the situation. My sibling has a vicious dog.. like a former drug sniffing military police attack dog. Its mean and barks and well, to be frank it charged at my DH 2 years ago and bit his hand.

My sister has three kids and a boyfriend (its the boyfriends dog). She says the dogs are fine with everyone in thier own house and just doens't like strangers.

Tomorrow she is having acookout family reunion at our her house. DH doesn't want the kids or himself to go because of this dog. I have been assured that the dog will stay in the garage in his cage. Trouble is that it will be over 100 degrees tomorrow and I am thinking that it will be too hot in the garage for the dog.


This family reunion is because I am seeing someone for the first time in 25 years. This family member has never met my husband (been married almost 20 years) or my kids. My parents came up from Florida for this event.

Part of me is upset that my Dh is refusing to go and doesn't want the kids to go. My sister is stubborn that she doesn't want to change the location to our house (I offered). My kids don't like this dog either. I definetely understand where DH is coming from as well. He grew up with dogs and most animals just love him.. this dog is just awful and mean.

Part of me wants to blow off this event-- and the other part of me is afraid for my own kids. My son is a big tall kid.. and what is the dog charges at him? My sister says the dog won't attack.. but I'm not so sure.

We have animals, and we like animals. Our dog is a sweet loving lap dog mini poodle.

What would you do?

 

[worm761]

Can't this relative come to your house and meet your family? Or does it HAVE to be a the reunion?

I suggest you go if you really want to but I am with your husband. I would not go and neither would my kids. I have a large dog that hates strangers but is just fine with people he knows. I put up a baby gate when there is a stranger in the house and he has never jumped the gate. Oz is a mastiff. He can get over that gate if he really wants to but he is not mean or viscous. He is just protective of what is his. I would not take my children around a dog that is known to be mean. If he attacked your husband unprovoked, that would be enough for me to never step foot in that house as long as the dog was there. What would you do if he attacked one of your children?

 

[disneyfans95]

I would pass on the event. We have dogs and love them but your DH is right to feel that way and also to protect the kids.

 

[mtemm]

I would go and as soon as the dog was out of that cage I would head home. sounds like you don't live very far away?

I would NOT want my kids around this dog, but sounds like the reunion is important, so that would be my compromise.

 

[Cindy B]

Well my sibling did plan it to be somewhere else (local park) but the heat index will be too high so she is switching it to the house with the dog.

Its just 25 years... and the safety of my kids. My DH said after it bit him he will never go back until that dog (or the boyfriend with the dog) is gone.

We've been able to dodge this situation because I have taken to hosting holidays at our house --with our small dog.

Now she wants to have it at her house-- which in itself is a reasonable request, but I don't want to be near the dog.

 

[luvmy3]

Have you not been to your sister's since the dog bit your dh 2 years ago?

ETA I just saw your post above. I wouldn't go unless there was a place that the dog would be contained for the entire time. I would invite some of the family to my house the next day if its possible.

 

[Luvchefmic]

If I were you I would keep my family away from the dog..you know what jumped out of your post to me especially, either the history of the dog is a lie (a military police dog undergoes a LOT of training and is under control of the handler at all times) or this dog was ruined by someone. The problem isn't the dog its the people. Keep your family safe above all, no question.

 

[Cooky]

.

 

[Cindy B]

If I were you I would keep my family away from the dog..you know what jumped out of your post to me especially, either the history of the dog is a lie (a military police dog undergoes a LOT of training and is under control of the handler at all times) or this dog was ruined by someone. The problem isn't the dog its the people. Keep your family safe above all, no question.

I do think the boyfriend has well "ruined" the dog. Its just a very mean loud scary barker in a small house. It doesn't go outside much and is some big nasty dog (don't want to offend owners but its either a pit or a rottweiler).

I know I am spoiled by a sweet little mini poodle that never barks and sits on your lap and cuddles with you. I know larger dogs have different needs.

 

[Cindy B]

Have you not been to your sister's since the dog bit your dh 2 years ago?

ETA I just saw your post above. I wouldn't go unless there was a place that the dog would be contained for the entire time. I would invite some of the family to my house the next day if its possible.

My DH and kids have not. I was once for about 15 minutes in April. The dog was put away.

 

[FayeW]

Well, you keep saying he's "mean" and "nasty" but other that the one incident with your husband two years ago, you've given nothing to back it up other than to say he barks.

What exactly happened when he bit your husband? Did your husband need or seek medical attention? Did he nip him or draw blood? Has he bitten anyone else before or since? I'm just asking because of the comment you made "he's just some big nasty dog"...as if you think the breed itself is nasty and you are inclined to not trust the dog to begin with.

How about you be honest with your sister and tell her that your husband doesn't trust the dog since he was bitten, and he won't go and won't allow the kids to go. Tell her that you don't want the dog to be locked up in the garage in the heat, and offer to pay for a kennel for the day so he can be in airconditioned comfort.

 

[Cindy B]

Well, you keep saying he's "mean" and "nasty" but other that the one incident with your husband two years ago, you've given nothing to back it up other than to say he barks.

What exactly happened when he bit your husband? Did your husband need or seek medical attention? Did he nip him or draw blood? Has he bitten anyone else before or since? I'm just asking because of the comment you made "he's just some big nasty dog"...as if you think the breed itself is nasty and you are inclined to not trust the dog to begin with.

How about you be honest with your sister and tell her that your husband doesn't trust the dog since he was bitten, and he won't go and won't allow the kids to go. Tell her that you don't want the dog to be locked up in the garage in the heat, and offer to pay for a kennel for the day so he can be in airconditioned comfort.

Yes he went to the doctor the dog came up from one side of yard started running full speed and jumped on DH. DH was just standing next to the boyfriend. DH turned and got bit on his hand between his thumb and fingers
.
He did go to the doctor the next day. His hand was sore and he took some type of medication. DH has had bigger dogs pretty much his whole life and is not afraid of them. In fact when we go to the dog park, all the big ones seem to seek him out and make friends with him.

Our mini poodle is the smallest thing we have ever had.

I was honest with her and told her that he was bitten and he isn't coming. He doesn't want the kids to go either.

My parents don't like this dog, my husband doesn't like this dog, , and my kids says he's loud and mean. I'd be loud and mean too.. if I was in a cage.

Since this is tomorrow, I don't think any kennels would have availability-- but that is a good suggestion.

 

[brockash]

I'd go, and if the dog comes out of the cage/garage, then I'd take my family and leave. I wouldn't be mean about it or anything; I'd just very nicely say that you we're leaving because your kiddos have a fear of the dog, and leave it at that.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I don't care what the breed is what I am not believing (not YOU OP but what your siblings boyfriend is either stating or suggesting) is the history of the dog...a properly trained dog with this alleged background would attack on command and it would be so subtle the command the ordinary person wouldn't see it coming thats the point.

Plenty of MPs and Canine cops in my family/circle of friends so I'm not buying it....regardless the dog is or may be a danger and that's good enough reason to avoid the whole situation IMHO especially since your kids and DH come first

 

[minkydog]

Well my sibling did plan it to be somewhere else (local park) but the heat index will be too high so she is switching it to the house with the dog.

Its just 25 years... and the safety of my kids. My DH said after it bit him he will never go back until that dog (or the boyfriend with the dog) is gone.

We've been able to dodge this situation because I have taken to hosting holidays at our house --with our small dog.

Now she wants to have it at her house-- which in itself is a reasonable request, but I don't want to be near the dog.

And I'm with you--I wouldn't want to be near this dog either. I'd suggest that if you want to go see the relative yourself, go to the party. BUt don't take your DH or the kids, since he feels very strongly about this. It's sad that it has to be this way, but oh well There is NO WAY I'd submit my kids to that kind of fear and anxiety just so they could meet some long, lost relative.

 

[SmallWorld71]

I know I am spoiled by a sweet little mini poodle that never barks and sits on your lap and cuddles with you. I know larger dogs have different needs.

Sorry, but I feel the weird need to defend my dog.He is 90lbs., never barks and is extremely cuddly. It is not this dog's size that has made it a problem. Anyway, I guess it all comes down to whether or not you trust/ believe your sister. It sounds to me like you think it is a dangerous situation that she will not be able to manage. In that case, your family comes first. Good luck with your decision.

 

[Keli]

I think the kennel for a day is an excellent idea. I know our local kennel almost always has space available when you call, even if it's a spur of the moment thing.
I think this is the only idea where everyone wins, you know?

 

[disykat]

And I'm with you--I wouldn't want to be near this dog either. I'd suggest that if you want to go see the relative yourself, go to the party. BUt don't take your DH or the kids, since he feels very strongly about this. It's sad that it has to be this way, but oh well There is NO WAY I'd submit my kids to that kind of fear and anxiety just so they could meet some long, lost relative.

I agree. Your sister knows people are afraid of the dog, you've offered to have it at your house. Honestly? Despite what she is saying, she clearly doesn't want your family there. IMO she is trying to force this issue in hopes that you'll cave. Until the dog bites/charges again, she'll refuse to see it as an issue.

Tell your sister AGAIN that your family is afraid of her dogs and coming to her house is not an option. Tell the relative you'd love to see them at your house or meet somewhere but can't come to your sister's house because of the dog.

We have neighbors with aggressive dogs. One dog has attacked three different dogs in the neighborhood - my dog twice. They are highly offended that people are afraid of their dogs and refuse to see it as an issue. Now that the neighbors have compared notes and realized that their incident was not "the only time anything like this has ever happened" and have animal control programed into all our cell phones, it may be taken care of. The reality is though that we're all too afraid to walk our dogs anymore so there may be no more incidents. Meanwhile, we're unable to be safe in our own neighborhood. There is no way anyone in my family would be willing to go to their home - my teenage boys are frightened of their dog!

Anyway, I would not consider going and "leaving if the dog gets let out" because that would be too late. An incident could have already happened.

 

[hereyago]

you know what jumped out of your post to me especially, either the history of the dog is a lie (a military police dog undergoes a LOT of training and is under control of the handler at all times) or this dog was ruined by someone.

Exactly, dogs as described by the sister, have extensive training. These dogs, along with civilian police dogs are trained to do the job, but will also go home and around the handler's family.


The OP mentioned the dog doesn't go outside much. Even if that dog were a "civilian dog, dogs need exercise, need socialization.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

If I were you I would keep my family away from the dog..you know what jumped out of your post to me especially, either the history of the dog is a lie (a military police dog undergoes a LOT of training and is under control of the handler at all times) or this dog was ruined by someone. The problem isn't the dog its the people. Keep your family safe above all, no question.

I agree. Sounds as though the dog has been ruined by someone. My brother is on the police dept. and the dogs they have don't act like this at all. I don't think I would go because I would be worried the whole time I was there, wondering where the dog was and where my child would be.