WWYD - Birthday Party Scheduling

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I sent out my invite to my daughter's 3rd birthday party last weekend, 5 weeks in advance. Because it is summer, a lot of people have said they can't go. Right now only 2 of her friends have RSVP'd. If no one else is able to come but her 2friends and their parents, would you still have the party, or would you reschedule but still have a play date with the 2 friends in the original day? (I would still feed everyone during the play date and do cupcakes, and make sure they knew that no presents were needed. They would also be invited but not expected to come to the rescheduled party.)

I'm thinking it would be rude to reschedule. But I have this thought in the back of my mind that the parents of the 2 girls who are coming will judge me for not having a party with more people. What say you Disboards?

 

[mjkacmom]

That's way in advance ( I did 1 1/2 weeks). A three year old party should really resemble a play date! At that age, we did playgroup parties - same kids, same day of the week, same food (Mac and cheese, hot dogs/salad and quiche for the moms), but had cake and party plates for the birthday, and gifts. Maybe a game and/or a craft.

Wow, my first playgroup was almost 20 years ago! I just ran into a playgroup friend at target (started 15 years ago - seems like yesterday). Don't stress about it.

 

[Allison]

It is a party for a 3 year old. It won't matter to her how many people are there. I wouldn't reschedule. If you are focused on what the other parents think, you are focused on the wrong thing. 5 weeks is also really early for a birthday party.

 

[ronandannette]

I sent out my invite to my daughter's 3rd birthday party last weekend, 5 weeks in advance. Because it is summer, a lot of people have said they can't go. Right now only 2 of her friends have RSVP'd. If no one else is able to come but her 2friends and their parents, would you still have the party, or would you reschedule but still have a play date with the 2 friends in the original day? (I would still feed everyone during the play date and do cupcakes, and make sure they knew that no presents were needed. They would also be invited but not expected to come to the rescheduled party.)

I'm thinking it would be rude to reschedule. But I have this thought in the back of my mind that the parents of the 2 girls who are coming will judge me for not having a party with more people. What say you Disboards?

I'd go with the original party date and when the parents get there, just casually mention that it's tough in the summer because everybody is out of town. And it's still early - if you've learned anything from the DIS it's that lots of people are NOT prompt to RSVP. You may end up with a bigger crowd. Have fun!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

It is a party for a 3 year old. It won't matter to her how many people are there. I wouldn't reschedule. If you are focused on what the other parents think, you are focused on the wrong thing. 5 weeks is also really early for a birthday party.

Apparently it isn't early enough since some of the guests already rsvp'd to other parties, which is why they can't come to my DD's ;-)

I know you are right. She won't really care. I've just been to all of these huge kids birthday parties and feel like my DD is missing out.

 

[descovy]

Keep the scheduled date. If you rescheduled you still run the risk of low attendance. That's summer.

My youngest has a summer birthday (she's 12 now) Because of that I always allow her to invite more friends than her sisters do for their Feb/March birthdays. Invite more because in the end less can make it. Only once did I get a nearly full rsvp.

 

[jbcheerchick93]

She's only 3, I think 2 friends (so far!) is fine. It's really going to be her playing with her friends either way, so it might even be better for it to be a smaller party. Everyone knows that summer birthdays are the worst, and it sounds like hers is early August? That's when most people here are going on their final vacations. I wouldn't worry about it until she's older and can have "school year parties" as my friends called them.

 

[Malibustyle23]

I'm not trying to sound snarky so please don't take it that way but she's 3, how many friends does she really have?!

Leave the party as it is. Don't worry about trying to impress others. Don't think you're daughter is missing out because she doesn't have a hundred friends coming over for a super themed and over done party she may end up napping half way through anyways. Sometimes simple is still ok.

 

[Katie Dawn]

I know you are right. She won't really care. I've just been to all of these huge kids birthday parties and feel like my DD is missing out.

Honestly I think many 3 year olds would have MORE fun with a couple of kids rather than a bunch of kids. Parties can be overwhelming: everything is so LOUD, their parents are attending to the guests and aren't able to pay as much attention to the birthday kiddo, if it's at your house then a bunch of kids are playing with their toys which the child may or may not be ok with... I do understand what you mean about worrying about what others might think but it might be a bit of a relief for the parents that do attend, actually, to not have to deal with all chaos and to just enjoy being around other parents with kids the same age.

Just breathe Mama. Your daughter will have a great day no matter what. And you might just end up with a less stressful day yourself.

 

[bsblady01]

I would just do a family party for her and save the friend party for when she is in school

 

[bsblady01]

Apparently it isn't early enough since some of the guests already rsvp'd to other parties, which is why they can't come to my DD's ;-)

I know you are right. She won't really care. I've just been to all of these huge kids birthday parties and feel like my DD is missing out.

she is three she is not missing out on anything

 

[dotfurio]

Don't cancel the party. Two kids is fine and DD will still be thrilled. I agree that less kids is probably better anyway.

 

[jevs]

Don't reschedule, your DD will be fine

As a side note, you do not want a load of 3 year olds in your house at the same time unless you have plenty of wine - I speak from experience.

 

[anniemae]

I would keep it. She's 3, it will be fine. She will be thrilled with cake and presents and a couple of friends. That's all you need at 3.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I'd leave it as is. I totally get why you send invites early- our circle tends to be very busy, so if you don't send invites 5-6 weeks in advance, most people will already have plans.
I also understand the concern about being judged for the party. When all the parties you attend are large and well-themed, there is a definite pressure to keep up. All the kid parties we go to are 20-40 people min. But honestly, I think a smaller party would be less chaotic and more fun. You might have time to actually enjoy it.

 

[Poohforyou]

My dd has a summer birthday and never had more than 6 kids at her parties until high school. I think having only a few kids is great, especially at 3. Those huge parties are actually awful - noisy and crazy. Plan some fun things for them to do. They'll have a blast. If you're looking for ideas, get them each a cute apron and let them decorate cookies or cupcakes. You could even give some kitchen things as party favors.

 

[diznygirl]

I'm with the rest - no need to reschedule.

My daughter has a summer bday as well. Once she started school we would have a party the weekend before school ended. That way we could get the invites out at school, and have the party before summer vacations took everyone away.

At 3, your daughter doesn't need large birthday parties anyway.

 

[Bluestars]

Summer birthdays are tough. One of my three kids has a summer birthday and there were always a lot less kids at his parties. Once he got older, he liked to have just a few friends over for movies, pizza, and spending the night. I would not cancel the party. If only two kids show up, your daughter will still have a wonderful time. Next year, if you are concerned with attendance, you could always schedule a party for after school starts or just accept that her parties might be small but still fun. Many times we welcomed siblings of the kids who did attend the parties they were thrilled to be included. Maybe the two kids who can come have siblings who would be delighted to be included.

 

[King Schultz]

Move.

 

[AppleDumpling]

Stick with your date. It'll be fine. DS has a summer birthday and often had a low turnout for parties but it was never an issue. Sometimes less is better.

And by the way, in my experience, many people don't understand what RSVP means. Some think they only have to reply if they're not coming and some assume the opposite. There's still lots of time. Unfortunately, I've had to call/email people to get an accurate headcount.