Wow!

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

Huh?

Can you be "professionally out of control", is that possible?

OK - unprofessional AND out of control

 

[babytrees]

What is the use of having people sign in if anyone can waltz in and go anywhere they want before signing in. Guess what the boy who killed the principal in Wisconsin was a student too. How does the guard know your DD is a honor student? Your attitude amazes me. All I know is that if I was a parent of another student in your school and I heard the Police officer thought it was funny and didn't act on what your DD did I would be at the Police chiefs office demanding he be reassigned and wanting answers. I feel sorry for the security guards who were doing their job. Your DD flagrantly broke rules put in place for safety, was rude, and combative and you defend her. Talk about sense of entitlement!

Plain and simple your DD was wrong and IMO you are also.

Totally agree!!

OP- your attitude is rubbing off on your daughter and I hope she and you learn a lesson through this.

 

[TCPluto]

Speaking of..... is anyone else concerned that this girl is a role model for a younger girl??

I was just thinking that. Not a positive role model as far as I can tell.

 

[TurboKitty]

*snip*
yes, she should have signed in first.....but the officer could have handled this better, IMHO.

I do agree with you on this.

I also think maybe we're projecting a tad too much, and hope LindaR comes back here and knows not everyone thinks this one incident fully portrays her skills as a parent, or the normal actions and interactions of her daughter. I certainly am not ready to condemn either one over this just yet.

 

[TCPluto]

... If we don't know the girl's attitude:

... had to call backup over a girl being a stubborn over something like this...how on earth will they keep it together and handle something big?


(and I ask again, if the officers (there seem to be at least three) were doing their jobs - how did she get in and past them in the first place????)

she didn't know she was trespassing - a teacher had told her it was OK to come in and if I read the OP correctly - that is the part that was not in the handbook...

I think we know much about her attitude by virtue of her taking such profane language to the adult aotority figure that she clealry has no respect for (which seems to come from her mother).

Instead of callinf for assistance from other security officers, how would you like to see the security to someone trespassing or other wise causing a disturbance? Hog tie them??

Now,if the guard did that instead of calling for assistance, I can see a problem. Calling for assistance was the right and prudent action in this instance.

I'm sure the teacher that told her to come back for the test didn't expect her to not follow the rules. Because she's such a biright honors student, I'm sure the teacher felt the reminder unnecessary.

 

[TCPluto]

we can't know anything for sure - we can only discuss our take on it - the other choice is not to discuss it at all because we weren't there.....

You're right, we can't know. But you were stating it as fact that he had no issue with it. I think the real story may be a little different.

 

[JennyMominRI]

If one of my kids ever spoke to an adult with such disrespect I would be appalled.. Now way would I be making excuses for them.. I also would never use the term rent a cop to describe someone who is there trying to protect my kid and other peoples kids...Maybe that's just me
Actually,my kids would use the word Sir in reference to someone like hm and not *rent a cop*

 

[LindaR]

Oh my! I've been gone all day (taking DD to the airport). Apparently in my effort to keep my original post to less than 10 pages I left out too many details! Let's see if I can remember everything I need to address.

The student parking lot is in the back. The sign-in is in the front. The school is pretty large and she really NEEDED to use the restroom ASAP.

Her teacher was supposed to give her clearance or a pass for her test. He failed to do so (we didn't know he was required to do so, but we know now) and my daughter WAS going to sign herself back in.

The security person was the initial aggressor. She did not confront dd in a professional manner. She has a reputation for her aggression and really seems to dislike her job or her life, or something. (I didn't know until later that this was the same person who tried to open my car door one day to tell me that I could not park in a handicapped spot as I was getting my hang tag out of the glove box). I smiled, hung my tag, and exited my car WITHOUT telling her that she had no right to try and open my car door!

I am proud that I have taught my daughter to use her head and think and that she has the right to question ANYONE'S actions. I also know that since she is a teenager she may not always handle situations the way an experienced adult may handle them, but she is learning. Yep, she makes mistakes and........golly gee.....I still make mistakes, too! (Sarcasm alert: I am HONORED to be in the company of so many perfect human beings and I hope that *I* haven't jumped to too many conclusions).

If ANYONE has ever walked thru the halls of a high school I will guarantee that there is PLENTY of bad language being used AND that all those folks have not been arrested for cussing!

No, my daughter does not think she is above the rules. She was TRYING to use common sense.

SHE knows that she should not have cussed when speaking with the guard. She was freaking out (on the inside) because the guard kept saying that SHE didn't give a *amn if dd *issed her pants and I feel (and have taught her) that respect is a two way street. I don't think its ok for anyone to be disrespectful to a young person JUST BECAUSE they are young and yet expect to teach THEM that they HAVE to respect their elders. Lead by example.

I had to differentiate between rent-a-cops and the REAL police officer who works at her school. I felt that this would help explain the difference between an experienced highly trained officer of the law and the lesser trained security guards. Once my daughter got to speak with Officer Guererro (and he LET HER SPEAK without interruption or accusations) he noted how quickly she cooled off and got her smile back. He was able to figure out that she was not a gang member or a wacko, that she was trying to hide the fact that she was scared with dumb bravado. It's a matter of approach. I'm sure that all of YOU would maintain your cool and show respect to anyone who got aggressive with you, but MY daughter did not. She is learning.

BTW, *I* walked into the school without an escort, without a pass or permit, without stopping at the front desk to speak with the receptionist and I was not stopped or questioned or asked for identification.......

And I'm sorry that lots of you think that I did not correct my daughter by handling this with humor. I did not put on a show at the school. I did not humiliate my daughter by chewing her out in front of others. I did not ground her for the rest of her life. When I got home (had to finish those errands that I put aside to go to school) an hour later, I asked her to tell me what happened from beginning to end. And I listened with my ears open and my mouth shut til she was finished. Then I asked her what she thought she did right and what she thought she did wrong. Then I told her what *I* thought she did right and what she did wrong. I didn't scream. I didn't beat her. I talked to her like the adult I hope she ends up being. She ended up grabbing me and hugging me and thanking me for coming to school cause......she needed me.

Yep, I still think this is stupid/funny. It's not often that ANYONE can leave me at a loss for words. I'm sorry that so many of you got so offended. That was not my intent. I was just sharing a story that I thought others would find humor in. I am sorry that a few of you felt that it was necessary and ok to "attack" my daughter regarding her Big Brother/Big Sister involvement. Volunteers are thoroughly and completely screened, teachers questioned, background checked, etc. Thank goodness we are not all judged and executed when we make mistakes.......population would be ALOT smaller, wouldn't it.

Thanks, all.

Peace,

Linda

 

[4nana]

I'd like to thank God for giving me my sense of humor......cause I really had to use it yesterday!

It's not often that I am at a loss for words..............but this was the most ridiculous thing I've encountered in LONG time!

I love my daughter. I warned her not to give the rent-a-cops ANY reason to go on a power trip again!

None of us are perfect, but guess you touched a lot of nerves. I see absolutely no humor in disrespecting authority and I too am at a lost for words at your entire post!

 

[TCPluto]

Her teacher was supposed to give her clearance or a pass for her test. He failed to do so

The security person was the initial aggressor. She did not confront dd in a professional manner. She has a reputation for her aggression and really seems to dislike her job or her life, or something.


If ANYONE has ever walked thru the halls of a high school I will guarantee that there is PLENTY of bad language being used AND that all those folks have not been arrested for cussing!

No, my daughter does not think she is above the rules. She was TRYING to use common sense.


I had to differentiate between rent-a-cops and the REAL police officer who works at her school.

Then I told her what *I* thought she did right and what she did wrong.

I'm sorry that so many of you got so offended.
Linda

So it's the teachers fault now?

You know that the guard initiated the confrontation because your daughter told you so, right? Is it not human nature that maybe your daughter skewed this in her favor, and that your daughter was more out of line than you care to admit??

I would hope that the swearing you here walking down the halls of your school is not by students confronting adults over rules they refuse to comply with.

Common sense would have been to follow the rules initially, and when asked to do so directly, following them. She didn't do that though.

You can differenitiate between scurity guard and police officer by using those exact terms, not with what most would describe as the derogatory term of "rent a cop".

What exactly is it that you think your daughter did right? Other than not wetting her pants, I don't see it here.

I don't think anyone is offended, I think they are surprised and that you think so little of your daughters actions.

 

[minniecarousel]

I think your further explanantion makes sense. It does look like a lot of people are over-analyzing here. As long as your daughter learned from the situation, I think it all turned out fine.

 

[nealymouse]

Just think, if your Daughter had just complied with the request of the security guard, none of this would have happened. Whether you agree with the guard or not, they are their for a purpose. Your daughter is in the wrong in this situation. She should issue an appology and accept any punishment that the school wants to issue. Maybe she will learn something from this? I hope so.

Dito, Sorry but I also agree that your DD was in the wrong.

 

[mytwotinks]

Yeah, well I still don't see what you thought was so funny about the situation. You seem pretty hung up on the fact that your dd didn't know she was breaking the rules. It seems like once the security guard explained the rules, she did know them! All she had to do was follow the rule and that would have been the end!

Had your dd listened to the security guard without interupting and followed the simple directions she was given, she would never had gone through this upsetting insident.

And as far as us "attacking" you and your dd. I think that we are just put off by the fact that you think it is funny that your dd was expected to follow the rules.

 

[mytwotinks]

I don't buy your excuse for using the term "rent-a-cop" so we wouldn't be confused. Oh Please!!!!!! You were very derogative when you used it and I think you are back peddling now.

If you did walk through the school without signing in...... Shame on you! You should know the procedure for being a guest in your child's school. I am teaching my kids to follow the rules, even when they could get away with not!

Oh yeah! And you are right. Nobody's perfect. Not even "rent-a-cops" at a your dd's high school. I would hate for a parent to decide anything about my personality based on my reaction to some snotty teenager telling me to f-off! (I know that's not an exact quote)

I seriously doubt that the call was for "back up" in the sense that they were going to help her restrain your dd. She was probably following a predetermined protocal for handling a situation when a student gets out of control. I totally think that being fowl mouthed and beligerant would call for that.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I find the most appalling about this whole thread is the Op expects everyone to understand her DD's point of view.

TODAY, amid TWO weeks of school shootings and locks downs across the country, that of which involved a one room AMISH school. If school tragedy can find the Amish, then we are all doomed.

On our area, yesterday, a threat was called in to the school targeting the freshman football team. The threats were serious enough for the practices to be cancelled for the rest of the week, and police presence in the school.

So what if she had to walk THROUGH the school to sign in. The security guard did her a favor and LET her use the bathroom. She should of been grateful and immediately proceded to the front office to sign in, instead, she headed for her locker. THAT was when the confrontation started. What did she think? OP stated her daughter used common sense. Common sense would of told her to sign in BEFORE going ANYWHERE in the building.

I don't get it.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

One thing I don't get. You said your daughter parked in the student lot in the back of the school and came in through the back door. You say the guard told her she had to use the bathroom by the office. I don't understand why she couldn't have walked out of the bathroom, gone into the office, signed in, and THEN gone to her locker for paper instead of insisting she do that first.

And why did the guard says she didnt care if your DD *issed in her pants if as you said she told her she could use the bathroom by the front office. I thought the confrontation didn't heat up until your DD wanted to go to another bathroom to wash her hands and then to her locker before signing in. By that point she doesn't need to go to the bathroom again.

I guess I'm just not following things completely

 

[karynnix]

After reading all of the threads and the OP's pitiful attempt at an "explanation", I believe that the daughter is totally wrong in the way that she talked to the security guard and the OP is totally wrong in allowing her daughter to get away with it and thinking that it is funny. These "rent a cops" as they were called are there to protect the students. If someone was to enter that school unannounced and begin shooting, the "rent a cop" would be the first in line taking the bullets. That is their job and it is not to be taken lightly. I hope to never hear that kind of language coming out of my children's mouths and I know that I will NEVER hear them disrespect authority like this girl did. NOT FUNNY, OP. Grow up.

 

[PrincessTiff]

Speaking of..... is anyone else concerned that this girl is a role model for a younger girl??

ITA! I'm also concerned that this is how today's "honor students" treat people of authority.

I also know that since she is a teenager she may not always handle situations the way an experienced adult may handle them, but she is learning. Yep, she makes mistakes and........golly gee.....I still make mistakes, too! (Sarcasm alert: I am HONORED to be in the company of so many perfect human beings and I hope that *I* haven't jumped to too many conclusions).

She needs to learn now or she never will. Just because she's a teenager gives her no excuse to be so rude. I'm a college student, and I can honestly say, if she were to act like that on my campus she would be arrested hands-down no questions asked. Not only that, she would also be kicked out(say bye-bye to all that money!). She does have a lot of maturing to do in less than a year(when she will be considered a legal "adult").

 

[newtowdw1]

I wasn't there, but, as a high school teacher, have witnessed similar scenes many times.

OP's DD parked in the back of the school, where she was supposed. Being so busy (read OP) she had probably mapped out her plan in her head on her way in. Being the daughter of a Diser, she was probably weaned on efficiency in touring . Probably the bathroom and her locker were on the way to the office. She probably thought the security officer was being officious, and inefficient. If she's like my high schoolers, she feels the security officer doesn't 'belong' in her school. High school kids feel very at home and safe in the school. Especially honor students.

If it's like my high school, the honors kids wander the halls because they have a different schedule, different assignments, different errands, different objectives. I don't see that as a problem. With responsibility comes privileges. This girl obviously handles a LOT of responsiblity very well. She was about to go back and take a test so she could go to see colleges. We're talking about a high anxiety situation here. Flying, by herself, to Oregon, to see colleges. Do you see a reason for the girl to be stressed? I do!!

Am I speculating? Absolutely. So are many of you!

Part of maturity is learning how to react in new situations. This girl just learned how to react ... I'm sure she'll do better in the future. But, if she's like my students, she saw the security officer as on HER turf. SHE was being 'efficient' and 'good' about getting her test taken. Did she handle it well? NO! But is this a beating offence? NO!!

And the comment about false bravado rings true here. The kid was scared where she thought she was safe. Give her a break!
A couple vulgarities in a high-stress situation are not a lynching offense.

Would I be mortified if my daughter did this? You bet!! But I think the humiliation was enough to ensure that there wouldn't be a repeat situation. Would I speak to her about it, yes. But beat her? no.

OP, even though your daughter doesn't sound like she's got great anger management skills, I think she sounds like a very responsible young lady. And very compassionate too. Congratulations.

 

[disykat]

Beating? Where did that come from?