Wow!

[monsterkitty]

Ask the security guard at the Red Lake high school in Minnesota how he felt when a student ignored his simple request to comply with a rule.

Oh wait. You can't ask him. He was killed by the student he confronted.

I really cannot believe you feel this security guard was in the wrong. Your daughter was asked to comply to a school rule. She then gave an attitude and received one back. Bummer for your daughter.

Oh, and yes your daughter could be arrested for using a four letter word in a school. It's called disturbing the peace. While students do not check all of their rights at the door, using foul language is a right that is checked at the door.

 

[Nancy]

well, he was going to have her arrested for merely asking to use the restroom and getting her paper first. She was clearly agreeable to signing in.....He clearly was in the wrong to some extent here as well and is responsible for helping to escalate the situation. To me, this person was not only abusing their power, but also unprofessionally out of control. I would expect a professional and an adult to handle themselves better.

A person in this position should be capable of keeping it under control (even if the other person - here a teenager - can't). .....If this person can't use a modicum of common sense, flexibility, or control..... and let's his authority go to his head this way - then I would not want them around my kids in a position of authority - that can be equally as scary as the potential threat of some dangerous kid getting in past them......

and I would also like to know where exactly this so called guard was when she got in - sounds to me she was already well inside the school.....shouldn't she have been stopped AT the door. Seems to me if someone dangerous had gotten in - it would be the fault of the guards who not watching the door.

also, I may have missed something - but no where did I get the idea the girl thought she was above the rules "because she was a honor student" - the last officer decided to cut her a break because this was her "first offence" and had no history of being a trouble maker.

He was going to have her arrested because she violated school policy and was being abusive to the schools security, not because she wanted to pee and get her paper. She could have done just that but signed in first. If she had followed the school rules this would not even be discussed here. Where was she agreeable to signing in? That should have been the first thing she did.
If a police officer pulled you over and asked for your license would you argue with him and tell him you had to use the restroom first and then tell him to F off. If you did you can bet your butt would be hauled off to jail. Basically a security guard in the school is their version of the police.
Where was he clearly in the wrong? He let her use the restroom, just made her go to a different one, she then proceeded to furthur escalate the situation by going BACK to the restroom he told her she couldn't use....again without signing in first and when he told her not to do it she got nasty. Unfortunately we only have the Moms side of what happened, not the guards and since the Mom thinks her daughter was the injured party and was fine using the f word and swearing again in reference to her paper than I am not going to judge him based on her version of what happened. I'm just judging her daughters behavior and I think she was wrong, wrong to not sign in first, wrong to argue and way way wrong to swear at ANYONE in the school or authority.

 

[N.Bailey]

well, he was going to have her arrested for merely asking to use the restroom and getting her paper first. She was clearly agreeable to signing in.....He clearly was in the wrong to some extent here as well and is responsible for helping to escalate the situation. To me, this person was not only abusing their power, but also unprofessionally out of control. I would expect a professional and an adult to handle themselves better.

The officer was in the wrong? The child was suppose to sign in IMMEDIATELY upon entering the school. She wasn't to be in the restroom, she wasn't to be in her locker. You sign in FIRST, then go about your business. You say she was agreeable to signing in, but had she done just that, this entire situation would have been averted.

Just what if, this child had put a gun in THAT bathroom and was going in there to retrieve it? Are we now going to include mind reading as a prerequisite to applying for a job as a rent a cop?

 

[Crankyshank]

I'd be willing to bet that if the daughter was chagrined and did not have a snotty attitude or use expletives, the security guard would probably have let her go to the bathroom and wash her hands and there would have been no threats about arrests or any escalation.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

well, he was going to have her arrested for merely asking to use the restroom and getting her paper first. She was clearly agreeable to signing in.....

Since none of us were there, we don't know for sure how it happened, but the OP didn't say the arrest was threatened for "merely asking". She asked to use the bathroom, he let her use the front bathroom. Then, when asked if she signed in, she said (according to the OP)

"no" not yet! She would sign in as soon as she grabbed paper for her test.

That's not "merely asking" to me, that's an insistence that she was going to do it in the order she preferred, not in accordance with the security guard's instructions. I wouldn't call that "clearly agreeable to signing in" at all.

 

[doxdogy]

Your daughter was disrespectful to an adult. Doesn't matter if there are no "written" rules in the handbook regarding cursing, it is just plain common sense that you don't should that expletive to someone in a school hallway. If I would have had to go to the school because my daughter had exhibited the same behavior, there would have not been any laughter. And just because he is a "rent-a-cop" does not mean he is not smart. He is there to PROTECT your daughter and the other students. If she knew she had to sign in first (whether it is written or just understood) then that is what she should have done.

 

[diznygirl]

And since the Mom has not returned to this thread yet, let me be the first to say I think its way cool that your DD is a big sister. That is a program that I was involved with when I was younger and its a really rewarding experience for both the "big" and "little" sisters. Good luck to her, and I hope she has no more run-ins with security at her school!

Speaking of..... is anyone else concerned that this girl is a role model for a younger girl??

 

[disykat]

??? I don't get it. She's wasn't in trouble for using the bathroom. She was in trouble for not signing in first. If the rule is to sign in before entering the school, she needs to do it. Pretty simple.

I applaud the OP's humor in the situation, because it is somewhat ironic that the whole incident happened over having to go to the bathroom and wanting to wash her hands. However, it doesn't change the simple fact that her dd was wrong to refuse to follow the rules and be beligerant to the guards. Even when the infraction might seem humorous, the rules still need to be enforced for everyone's safety.

"This hall is secure except for all the kids who refused to sign in because they needed to go to the bathroom and then their lockers" - I think someone would be fired from his/her job for that.

 

[mytwotinks]

Speaking of..... is anyone else concerned that this girl is a role model for a younger girl??

I thought that too, but I was too chicken to post it!

 

[disykat]

well, he was going to have her arrested for merely asking to use the restroom and getting her paper first.

No, she was going to be arrested for not having the appropriate pass and refusing to get one before continuing further into the building.

 

[RitaZ.]

I'd be willing to bet that if the daughter was chagrined and did not have a snotty attitude or use expletives, the security guard would probably have let her go to the bathroom and wash her hands and there would have been no threats about arrests or any escalation.

I'm willing to bet the same. We teach others how to treat us.

 

[N.Bailey]

Speaking of..... is anyone else concerned that this girl is a role model for a younger girl??

I'm not ready to hang the girl out to dry. Sure, she did something I feel is stupid, but I don't think it defines all she's done in life. I mean, she was going to be out of town on Friday and could have easily skipped meeting with this child, but she saw her a day earlier so the child wouldn't be disappointed. That too says something about her character. It does to me at least.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I think the girl was in the wrong, however, one incident does not make her a bad role model.

This could all have been prevented if she just would have signed in first. That rule probably IS in the handbook.

 

[TCPluto]

She is an honor student who has never been in trouble before.

Well, you won't be able to say that again.

As tirvial as you think it may be (the reasoning, the bathroom), she really needs to follow the rules and be respectful. Regardless if it's not what she or you believe is in the student manual.

Can every aspect of student behavior be covered in a student handbook? I don't think so.

 

[TCPluto]

...using the common sense the first officers lacked.
...and, really, the last officer (much more reasoned than the others) had no problem with how the mom handled it - so I don't see what the big deal is?

Teaching our children complete and absolute respect for elders and authority figures leaves them open to abuse.

The security guards are following the rules, why is that lacking in common sense??

How do we know the last officer had no problem with it? We only know what the mother said. Could she color the incident to her and her daughters favor?

 

[Jeafl]

Schools will never be able to do the "right" thing. If they have rules in place for all the students, some think the rules don't apply to them and should be challenged. Then, parents complain when there isn't "enough" protection and guidelines for safety. They just can't win!

As someone who works at a school, all I can say to this is YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!

 

[TCPluto]

well, he was going to have her arrested for merely asking to use the restroom and getting her paper first.

You're wrong and obviously miss the enitre point.

Shw was threatened with arrest, as the story is told, because she was trespassing, failing to follow the rules, and disobeying the security guards orders.

She was not threatened with arrest for bladder relief and writing paper.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

No, she was going to be arrested for not having the appropriate pass and refusing to get one before continuing further into the building.

I'm thinking that is not illegal - but against the school's rules and policies - I can't help but think that respect is a two way street. If the officer was out of control and throwing around empty/ridiculous threats he couldn't carry out - then respect is lost. If we don't know the girl's attitude: then we can't be sure of the officer's - it looks to me like the officer was way out of line as well.....and, like I said, if they can't maintain their cool with a teenager and go off spewing empty threats...maybe they shouldn't have that job. Now if the officer had kept his cool, threatened to haul her tushie down to the office where she would be dealt the punishment she had coming - that would be in line.



Again, I am not excusing much of her behavior - especially the language....but I have a feeling think both parties are at fault here.....and, after all, the officer was the adult here....If they got this frazzled - had to call backup over a girl being a stubborn over something like this...how on earth will they keep it together and handle something big?

yes, she should have signed in first.....but the officer could have handled this better, IMHO.


(and I ask again, if the officers (there seem to be at least three) were doing their jobs - how did she get in and past them in the first place????)

she didn't know she was trespassing - a teacher had told her it was OK to come in and if I read the OP correctly - that is the part that was not in the handbook...

 

[TCPluto]

clearly was in the wrong to some extent here as well and is responsible for helping to escalate the situation. To me, this person was not only abusing their power, but also unprofessionally out of control.

Huh?

Can you be "professionally out of control", is that possible?

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

The security guards are following the rules, why is that lacking in common sense??

How do we know the last officer had no problem with it? We only know what the mother said. Could she color the incident to her and her daughters favor?

we can't know anything for sure - we can only discuss our take on it - the other choice is not to discuss it at all because we weren't there.....