Wow, not a typical day...

[Ms.Squeakers]

Alright.

So,
This has been the ultimate day in my life,

So,

This morning I told my mom my deepest darkest secret ever. That I don't like living, Which isn't true at all, well.. I mean just.. school life, everything I don't understand it its all so...close and yet so far ;D as someone in a song said *whistles* maybe..a.. Phil Collins song!?

AND

She immediately skipped what I said,
"Oh stop the drama, I don't need it okay!?"
"Well Mom I have been trying to tell you this for quite some time now and thats all you EVER say, you never EVER want to listen to me, and then people wonder why I get angry."
"STOP IT"
"Mom, PLEASE, this is serious, I have actually thought about suicide DURING SCHOOL"
"....we will talk about this later"

It was too late,
I was already in complete tears, face blotchy red, eye lashes all stuck together.. a complete mess.
I went to school fighting my tears today.

Fast forward a couple hours,
1st period :
Doing math
Sub was there,
I was STILL fighting my tears and I told my friend about what happened.
She started flipping out.
THEN,
My friend really ticked me off, I might have slipped out 1 cuss word at her I think it was the HE word... I feel really bad about that now.
So, I went to go get some tissues because I could feel the waterworks coming,
then when I was coming back this really jerkface stared at me and said "stupid head"
Now, Normally she always calls me that, but today I really didn't need it.
AT ALL.
So I went over board,
I said "STOP IT, OKAY!? I DONT NEED THIS NOT TODAY ESPICALLY NOT TODAY" and you know what she did?
"STUPID ...butt (but not butt..if you know what I mean)"
and so..
It was the last straw with me.
I.Flipped.Her.Off

THEN,
I started crying and the sub came over and said "Do I need to send you to AIA?" and crying I said "Go right ahead, I don't care, Anywhere would be better then here" (literally)
and so then I said "You know what, I will be fine, can I go to the bathroom?"
So she let me and I cried the rest of the period.

THEN,
It was 2nd period.
I was wiping the tears of my face and I pulled myself together to get there.
The guy I normally sit behind, is a jerkface.
So, I asked If i could sit somewhere else for the day and my teacher let me.
I was fine, I had no problems.
Except,
I was already sad and we watched actual holocaust movies.
The ones the Nazi's filmed.
It was awful, I started crying again.
This time,
Harder.
BUT,
This time, people understood why.

Now,
Onto 3rd period.
My lunch period.
I was so glad to just escape (wasn't crying anymore!) and go relax in study hall (which is band for me)
and the guy I think the world of, ( my best friend who.. i kinda have a "thing" for..okay..so a BIG thing..)
asked me to do a duet with him for this... competition, and be graded on it,
and I said "really" and he said "yeah".
I was so happy on the inside.
REALLY happy.

THEN,
4th period.
This is when I actually have band.
For real.
This is also when I had to turn in the paperwork for the competition.
So I was talking to *Him* in texting (because i was bored and...i know you aren't supposed to do that during school, but I had no clue what to do with the paperwork;D ) and so then I asked what our teachers reaction was when he saw that we were doing a duet and he said that at first he said "wait.. her? you mean.. wait.....no you mean Jennifer?!?!?" "Uhm, No... MOUSE"
"YOU MEAN... the sevvie!?" "YES"


Hah, Sooo I turned in the paperwork, and he kinda rolled his eyes (not really) and said "well.. this should be interesting, but I think it would sound good"

All I could think was... "Yes, the people AND the music "


So,
In other words I joke around saying this has been the
WORST day of my life,
and YET..
The absolute perfect day, anyone could ever ask for.

Just to think that it was HIS idea..and not mine.
It was a feel good moment.

*hugs self*


Aight.
You can go back to DISing now.

 

[AbsoluteAwesome1]

Every cloud has silver lining.

Who made that up, anyways..?

I ain't never seen no silver lining on any cloud.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I had a day like that once, well the starter of your day. My gym teacher and assistant principal had been basically harassing me for weeks because I was having asthma tests done and the doctor said I could in no way participate in gym until the tests were done. So one day I had just had enough and was pretty rude with the gym teacher, and not so nice with the assistant principal either. So they gave me DETENTION for it and when my mom called to talk to the teacher about it she upgraded it to SUSPENSION. You gotta realize I was the quiet 'A' average student who always bottled up these type of feelings.

Anyways, on the day I switched to homeschool I was taking all my textbooks to the office and I saw the assistant principal there and I smiled and told her to have a nice life.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

Wow.
Suspension is only temporarly right?
I want to be homeschooled.
I want to get to know my mom more,
I feel I would get more done If I could just read it straight, and not... have to deal with "shhut up class!" Or,
Eat when I want to/Go to the bathroom and be able to flush the toilets.

 

[BabyPiglet]

Wow.
Suspension is only temporarly right?
I want to be homeschooled.
I want to get to know my mom more,
I feel I would get more done If I could just read it straight, and not... have to deal with "shhut up class!" Or,
Eat when I want to/Go to the bathroom and be able to flush the toilets.

Yeah but they took it off my record because my mommy was not having that.

I hate that school's now-a-days think they own the kids. My mom owns me, not a school. Get it?

Yeah I really liked homeschool, it worked for me. I could get a lot more done because the teacher wasn't going over the directions over and over again and explaining things over and over again. Ugh.

 

[XxCuriosityxX<3]

I'm sorry about the start of your day; but at least it turned out good.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

Yeah but they took it off my record because my mommy was not having that.

I hate that school's now-a-days think they own the kids. My mom owns me, not a school. Get it?

Yeah I really liked home school, it worked for me. I could get a lot more done because the teacher wasn't going over the directions over and over again and explaining things over and over again. Ugh.

I actually said that to my mom today,
and to the sub.
If I went to AIA i would have told them my entire prepared speech
mentioning that 10 times.
but..

Example :

Im very tired of being told WHEN I can pee
or
When I can eat.
Why do you MAKE us respect you OR ELSE WE GET IN DEEP TROUBLE?
WHEN you give us NO respect and then expect it back?


that isn't even close to 1 percent of my speech.
Sometimes I almost want to act out, just so I get sent to AIA where I can learn in quiet INSTEAD OF being screamed in my ear AFTER SCHOOL trying to CALL MY MOM telling her that I NEED A RIDE HOME.


They don't own me.
Not at all.
Only my parents own me.
If they touch me one more time, in a way that makes me uncomfortable,
I will do the same and see the reaction I get.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

I'm sorry about the start of your day; but at least it turned out good.

It turned out GREAT!!


Im extremely excited

 

[::Snow_White::]

Glad it turned out great!

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

Glad it turned out great!

Thanks!
Me too.

 

[Babyjustrun]

I was close to screaming at my french teacher.
I'm getting sick of the actual school work in school. People in my classes are idiots (I'm not kidding, I'm really not. They're just so.. ugh), so the teachers assume we're all dumb, and teach us stuff we've always known.
And now my french teacher thinks I don't know my passé composé because I made a mistake (I put est instead of sont). She told me twice while going over my sheet. I wanted to freak out at her. I KNOW THAT. I made a MISTAKE. I learned this stuff in grade 3, it's TIME TO MOVE ON.
Ugh, I don't learn anything in school because of these kids who can't understand the simplest of things.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

I was close to screaming at my french teacher.
I'm getting sick of the actual school work in school. People in my classes are idiots (I'm not kidding, I'm really not. They're just so.. ugh), so the teachers assume we're all dumb, and teach us stuff we've always known.
And now my french teacher thinks I don't know my passé composé because I made a mistake (I put est instead of sont). She told me twice while going over my sheet. I wanted to freak out at her. I KNOW THAT. I made a MISTAKE. I learned this stuff in grade 3, it's TIME TO MOVE ON.
Ugh, I don't learn anything in school because of these kids who can't understand the simplest of things.

I feel the same way.
I learn at my own pace.
Not "hey lets stop every 7 minutes to take a 'break' but you cant go to the bathroom and you cant talk"


Psh.
So evil.
I hate school,
but I love band.
LOVE.

 

[Rockstar mentality]

I dont know where you live but in the states if u tell a teacher about suicide (jokingly or not) they will send you to a state appointed phycrytrist (srry cant spell) until its straightened out. Soo mabe that could be ure way out of school.

 

[Babyjustrun]

I feel the same way.
I learn at my own pace.
Not "hey lets stop every 7 minutes to take a 'break' but you cant go to the bathroom and you cant talk"


Psh.
So evil.
I hate school,
but I love band.
LOVE.

I learn fast, and understand quick.
People in my classes don't.
I get explanations for verbs, math, and basically everything over and over again. It gets really annoying.
Especially after the fifth time when one of them goes 'I don't get itttttt' in a whiney voice.
Like god.
It's not hard.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

I dont know where you live but in the states if u tell a teacher about suicide (jokingly or not) they will send you to a state appointed phycrytrist (srry cant spell) until its straightened out. Soo mabe that could be ure way out of school.

Yes,but the send you during band time.
Thats the one time of day I actually pay attention and am not suicidal.
I actually can be considered suicidal, so thats why I dont tell anyone anything except 2 of my best friends.
They PROMISED not to tell, unless I went overboard.
My friend was caught slitting her wrists and she has depression, and so when I told her about what happened (I felt I could trust her since she trusted me, although I DONT slit my wrists)
She gave me really good advice on what my mom REALLY means when pushes me aside.

She said that, maybe she will hope that if she forgets that you aren't happy, then YOU will forget that you are unhappy.

Im sorry my dears,
but it doesn't work that way.
Either way, I must have some sort of chemical imbalance that Im always unhappy, that or... I just hate school so much, its affecting everything about me.

 

[Tinkerbell424]

I'm glad it ended good.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

I learn fast, and understand quick.
People in my classes don't.
I get explanations for verbs, math, and basically everything over and over again. It gets really annoying.
Especially after the fifth time when one of them goes 'I don't get itttttt' in a whiney voice.
Like god.
It's not hard.

Math.
Im particularly slow at learning slowly.
You know what I mean?
When my teacher takes "breaks" its all too much.
I need it all at once to understand it.
Especially if Im reading my math text book and then they show you example problems.
I love that.
Its easy, when you MAKE it easy.

Know what I mean?

 

[BabyPiglet]

I actually said that to my mom today,
and to the sub.
If I went to AIA i would have told them my entire prepared speech
mentioning that 10 times.
but..

Example :

Im very tired of being told WHEN I can pee
or
When I can eat.
Why do you MAKE us respect you OR ELSE WE GET IN DEEP TROUBLE?
WHEN you give us NO respect and then expect it back?


that isn't even close to 1 percent of my speech.
Sometimes I almost want to act out, just so I get sent to AIA where I can learn in quiet INSTEAD OF being screamed in my ear AFTER SCHOOL trying to CALL MY MOM telling her that I NEED A RIDE HOME.


They don't own me.
Not at all.
Only my parents own me.
If they touch me one more time, in a way that makes me uncomfortable,
I will do the same and see the reaction I get.

I totally agree.

Yes,but the send you during band time.
Thats the one time of day I actually pay attention and am not suicidal.
I actually can be considered suicidal, so thats why I dont tell anyone anything except 2 of my best friends.
They PROMISED not to tell, unless I went overboard.
My friend was caught slitting her wrists and she has depression, and so when I told her about what happened (I felt I could trust her since she trusted me, although I DONT slit my wrists)
She gave me really good advice on what my mom REALLY means when pushes me aside.

She said that, maybe she will hope that if she forgets that you aren't happy, then YOU will forget that you are unhappy.

Im sorry my dears,
but it doesn't work that way.
Either way, I must have some sort of chemical imbalance that Im always unhappy, that or... I just hate school so much, its affecting everything about me.

You really should see a doctor. They can put you on some medicine that will make you feel better.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

I totally agree.

You really should see a doctor. They can put you on some medicine that will make you feel better.

Honestly.
I would, but like I said,
My mom totally dismisses it.
Then,
calls me a hypochondriac.
I do admit, I am a hypochondriac (to an extent) , but instead my mom says im just moody and blame everything on my period.
NOT TRUE AT ALL.
AT ALL.
AT ALL.
I never blame ANYTHING on my period.
ANYTHING.
I seriously do feel useless and mentally challenged in school, when they dilute the simplest lessons.

Im always unhappy except when Im with my friends/crush.
They always cheer me up in the cutest ways. They make me laugh when I don't even want to smile.
BUT.
Underneath it all im STILL unhappy.
So much.

 

[STOPxmickeytime]

You should really see a school counselor, they'll listen to your problems and believe what you say, even if your mom doesn't.
Seriously, if you're having thoughts like that, you need to reach out and get help, by whatever means possible.

And WOW, that day was like an emotional roller coaster!
I'm glad it all ended up okay.