Would you take one DS and not the other?

[erincon23]

Provided I can come up with the money, I would like to take my DS18 to WDW for a three-day trip in the spring. The problem is that I have another son, who will be 15. DS18 is a freshman in college, and knowing that the time we have to spend with him is getting less and less, I'd really like to have him all to myself for just a few days (and he'd really like to go and spend the weekend with me). The last time we were there, he did American Idol and would really like to do it again -- he's a much more seasoned performer and has a better chance to win his performance; the last time he was there he was with a school group and didn't get to do a lot of things he wanted to do.

Of course, DS15 is the problem. When we were there before, he was MISERABLE to be around -- he had a back problem that was bothering him and was suffering from depression and anxiety (plus, he's just not a good traveler), and he put a big wet blanket on the entire trip. All of those, thankfully, have been taken care of and he's more pleasant to be around, and would probably have more fun. I know he wouldn't be at all happy that I was taking his older brother -- even though we're working on planning a family trip for later in the year. When he graduates from high school, it would be his turn for a solo trip, either with me or DH (his choice), but I don't think he'll see it this way.

Any suggestions? I haven't made any plans yet. DS18 and I have talked about it a little bit (we've been discussing the idea for a year, but haven't done anything concrete about it). DH says if I can find the money, he's ok with it. I keep thinking that it might be more trouble (with DS15) than it's worth, but I'd really like to take my older guy.

ETA: I'm sorry, I forgot where I was and thought I was on the Community Board.... hope you don't mind that this is OT...

 

[tlbwriter]

I would do this IF you make it clear that it's going to be a family tradition, and he will get his own trip when he's 18.

 

[Michelle and crew]

take him. there is little time left. but make sure that the younger enjoys your time away (a movie with his dad or something) and that you and he will take a trip somewhere special for him at that time. we do this.

 

[pigletto]

I can see your issue here.. it's a tough call. I think the way you have explained it that I would take him, with the stipulation that the other son absolutely gets the same thing when he is a senior. Like someone else mentioned I'd also try to plan something fun for him to do the weekend you are away. The only way I could do it is if he knew in no uncertain terms he could go too when his time came (or another small trip of his choice).

My dd who is 13 would be over the moon about a quick mommy daughter trip but her brother would be crushed.. but my kids are younger. I think your older boys would understand

 

[Mickeypooh99]

In your situation I would say go ahead and do it, but make sure the younger knows he will have his turn. Then no matter what make sure he gets it.

In my situation I don't think I could do it. My boys are only 12 months apart in age. With them being so close in age I think it would be harder. They both love Disney. I might do something non Disney with each one seperately.

 

[mrsltg]

Absolutely! I took my dd (then 6) to WDW without my other dd. I plan to do the same with each girl. The trip was a surprise (I picked her up from school and took her to the airport) and I plan to make it a surprise with each of the others.

 

[Priorityonecb]

We've done trips with one child and not the other. I took dd to NYC for her 16th birthday alone, and the younger dd knows at 16 she will get a solo trip. There have been trips where one child wasn't interested in, and so we've just taken the one that was.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Absolutely do it. Your time with your oldest is precious BUT be mindful of your other son's feelings at the same time. Be sure to have your younger son start thinking about what he wants to do on HIS trip and make sure he knows exactly WHEN his trip is going to be so he has that to count down to.

I would also be sure to bring back something extra special for your other DS from the trip.

I'm sure he will try to play the guilt card but oh well. Just remind him that he is getting his own trip too.

 

[2girlsmommy]

When I was in my freshman year of college, my mom and I took a trip to NYC all by ourselves. We actually did plenty of trips just the two of us. My brother just dealt with it and had some alone time with my dad golfing or going to movies etc. My dad and brother have gone on trips without me when we were younger. I agree with a PP and make it clear that his turn is coming and that dad does something special with him that maybe you guys don't usually do because "mom doesn't want to do it." This isn't something to feel guilty about at all! I think alone time with individual children is so important, and what a special way to get to spend time with them before they go off to college!

 

[Chelley00]

I'm a big fan of taking kids on special trips. I would definately do it, especially because your DS is graduating, and it's a short trip. Just make sure younger DS knows his turn will come for his graduation.

 

[ceecee]

I don't think I could do that personally. I can see it if you do a trip when the younger son turns the same age if he is the understanding kind. I would think it would hurt his feelings.

 

[Snoozan]

Of course you go with only your 18yo DS! You just explain to your 15yo DS that it will be his turn during his freshman year. He's plenty old enough to understand. I did take my youngest DS back when he turned 18 and in return, I sent my older DS with his DGF a couple years later on my dollar! We were all happy with the way the trips went.

 

[jessica52877]

I would take him. Things aren't always *fair* with siblings. I would think about planning something special with your other son at some point, but I wouldn't worry about doing it right away or the same thing. Do something the both of you would enjoy!

 

[erincon23]

Thanks for all your responses! I think the trip may be scaled down a bit -- I started looking at money (I really do know how much it costs, but started thinking seriously about it this afternoon), and I think I'll take him downtown Chicago for a show and a weekend museum hopping -- things he really enjoys, but closer to home. I mentioned it to DS14 today -- he was ok with it. Dad will take him to archery or go-karting, things they both really enjoy, and everybody will be happy. I guess this is more common than I thought -- a friend told me today that she took her oldest daughter to Paris, just the two of them, for her DD's 21st birthday! That's a nice trip for your birthday!

 

[alwaysmom]

I took my oldest DS on a cruise when he graduated from college. Left his brothers home with dad. They've been on 2 Disney trips without big bro (while in college, he understood). It was the best bonding time before he stepped out onto his own and a wonderful memory.

 

[VAfamily1998]

I would do this IF you make it clear that it's going to be a family tradition, and he will get his own trip when he's 18.

Absolutely!

I have 4 kids, and when each child is 5 year, they get to go on a special "mom and son" weekend (not to Disney, but another location)
I think one on one time is a great tradition!

 

[EllenFrasier]

Ask your older DS how he feels about it. He may want his brother along, or he may want to be the center of your attention. Your younger DS does not need to know what his brother says or that you asked him. Any opportunity to get siblings close or keep them close is time well spent - afterall, they will only have each other when their parents are no longer around.

 

[MSSANDRA]

For most families, I can see that being a fine choice as long as both boys get a trip at 18. The only think I think about is if your DS15's issues are really completly gone. He sounded a lot like my DN and if he still has some of these issues it might really be hard on him, even knowing his turn will come.

 

[stazmatic]

I did this with my oldest DD for her 8th grade graduation. We went to WDW for 4 days. When each kid graduates 8th grade they will get a surprise trip with the parent of their choice.
I know it seems like a large 8th grade grad present, but we also explained we will not be doing this after high school. I think kids are so busy after high school grad that it just seemed better to do it earlier.
But anyway - yes I would do it again. My kids were fine with it and are looking forward to their own trips. Kids are never too old for one on one time

 

[5stljayhawks]

Just a thought, why not stay home with your DH and send the boys away for a weekend by themselves? Say here's X amount of cash plan the trip and have a brother weekend?