Would you take a picture of your kids at a gravesite?

[Margie J]

I received an e-mail from a friend which was a bit creepy IMO. It was a picture of his two young kids at the grave of their Mother who died this summer.

Along with the picture was a short note about the kids bringing flowers this weekend and missing their Mom, etc. That was very touching. It's just the picture that struck me as weird. Or maybe I'm too sensitive.

 

[Disfan1]

It depends on the actual picture, I guess. I don't see anything wrong on the surface, but if they were having a picnic & a grand old time at the grave, that might be a little strange. A picture of the kids setting flowers on their mom's grave sounds kind of sweet but sad.

 

[ScarlettO]

This past summer I took a picture of my Mom and brother next to my Dad's grave-it was Father's day. I mailed it to my sister. We moved away right after he died(many years ago) and none of us had seen his name on the monument.

 

[Mskanga]

Yes I would, I don't find anything unusual about it.

 

[janette]

Just home from the cemetery where my FIL will be buried. We took some pictures since my MIL wanted them. I think it will be okay later. Right now it was a little hard.

 

[luv2nascar]

years ago when wakes were in the home it was custom for the family and friends to take pictures with the deceased
not exactly the same thing but worse in my opinion

I don't think its weird. Probably helping them heal somehow.

 

[Disney Doll]

Different people have different feelings about deathe tc. My family is very matter-of-fact about death as being part of life, so it doesn't strike me as strange that someone would take a pictur eof a gravestone. I think we actually did after my IL's died, to send to my SIL who lives in Missouri.

That same SIL took pictures of my DFIL in his coffin at the funeral home. I thought that was abit over-the-top (but she is OTT, so I wasn't surprised). I didn't want to remember him that way, I prefer to remember him alive and loving.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

I don't see anything wierd about it. We took pics of the kids looking at their sister's stone. I have had people tell me that it was morbid though.

 

[pumba]

on fathers day I had someone take a photo of me at his dads gravesite with the fathers day flowers we always do....Now we do both of our dads

 

[DemonLlama]

I did this with my kids at the site of their great-grandparents and many other relatives, since we rarely get out to that cemetary. There is just a sense of connection there to family, so commemorating that moment didn't seem weird to us.

 

[Robinrs]

No.

 

[jipsy]

I think taking pics to share within the family is up to the individual aand can be part of the grieving process. Sharing them with friends would be up to the person and the friendships.

I have never done it, but I have had many relatives who take pictures of the funeral - the person in the casket, the flowers, etc.

THAT, to me, was always creepy. I loved my Dad with all my heart, but I never wanted a picture of him in his casket. Thank goodness neither did any of the rest of my family. I prefer to remember him the way he was alive.

 

[RitaZ.]

I don't see anything weird about that.

What I do find strange is when people take pictures of the coffin or with family members next to the coffin.

 

[taylor1293]

I don't think it's weird at all. However, I'm not sure I'd e-mail a picture like that to anyone. It would be more of a private picture for me.

My family(dad's relatives), take pictures of the body in the casket. And with people standing in front of the casket. Now that is odd, IMO.

Imagine my shock at my grandpa's viewing. I couldn't help but laugh. I'm sure Grandpa was laughing too.

Teresa

 

[~*Belle 2003*~]

I have taken pictures of the Crematorium grounds and my Dad's plaque. No people in them, I don't like the idea.

My nephew discretely took a couple of pictures of my Dad's coffin in the hearse as it had the Union Jack flag draped over it. I have the copies but have only looked at them a couple of times - I still find them distressing.

 

[tkyes]

We do this with my cousins kids.

We visit my grandpa's grave every year for Memorial Day, a big group of us. My cousin takes pictures of her twin girls in front of my grandpa's headstone.

My great aunt also usually bring popcorn to sprinkle around for the deer, we bring flowers and we will say a prayer and usually the kids sing Jesus Loves Me. So I guess you could say we do have a "picnic" of sorts. We sit there for awhile and talk and tell stories. I would bet that my grandpa loves it

I can see how someone might be creeped out by the pictures, but to us as family they aren't creepy. So I guess I'm saying I would take them, but not send them out as Christmas cards.

Now funeral pictures, those have always creeped me out.

tamie

 

[Danauk]

This reminded me of an incident when I was at school. We took part in a Spanish exchange, we would go to the school in Spain for 2 weeks then the Spanish students would go to our school for 2 weeks. Anyway, it was customary where they lived to have pic nics on the tomb stones of local heroic bull fighters in the cemetaries. When they came to our village several of them wanted to go to the local cemetary for a pic nic. We said no as it was disrespectful but to them it was part of their culture.
As for the origional post, I would not probably find it strange if it was a respectful photo, in fact I would probably find it quite touching.

 

[Flyfly_Eclipse]

When my brother passed away, and about 2 years later my Grandma and Grandpa came down to visit us again (yes, they came for the funeral before also), they got their picture taken at my brother's gravesite. He's in an above ground slot, beneath a large cross.

When one of my aunts lost her oldest son, she stayed with us because we knew what she was going through. On her son's birthday, we went out to my brother's gravesite and let go of a Birthday balloon. I took many pictures. The whole story the pictures told were remembering her beloved son on a special day. And the thought that these two cousins would finally be able to meet...even if it was in Heaven.

We never took pictures of the coffin or anything. The closest to that which we have done, was a family photo (mom's and dad's side of the family, all together...which is VERY rare)during the Viewing...but it was in a different room from the casket and everything.

 

[C.Ann]

When my Dad died I had my DH take two pictures of him in his coffin just before they closed the lid.. I knew that would be the last time I would see him and I wanted those photos - dead or alive.. I looked at them after they were developed and again a few years ago.. Now they're stashed away somewhere private..

As for the cemetery.. My DD stopped by my Dad's grave on her high school graduation day - in her cap and gown - to leave flowers for him and we took several photos.. I don't find cemetery photos the least bit odd at all..

 

[GEM]

Doesn't seem odd to me in the least.

Here in this part of the country, there is a tradition called "Decoration Day". It's the last Sunday in May. It involves gathering at the cemetery to place flowers and wreaths. Lots of families even bring a picnic lunch. It's a big deal. There are always kids running around playing, etc. It's a chance for relatives to catch up, share stories and memories - things like that. It's not a sad or morbid thing at all. And, yes, lots of people take pictures of the graves all fixed up and pictures of their family members standing next to headstones, etc. I guess it might seem odd if you didn't grow up with that tradition, but it doesn't seem odd to me. I guess, because of this, I've never found cemeteries to be creepy, sad places.