would you listen to a 3 year old?!

[DrTomorrow]

[...]while i don't really view it as a "power struggle" i always thought as the parents we made the major decisions for the family..ie my child at 3 wanted daddy to stay home from work and play all day...should we have allowed her to make that decision for us?. [...]

If you seriously believe that a father having to go to work for a living in any way is equal to a trip to WDW, then there's no point in further discussion.

And, of course, we all know that parents always make the right decisions for their children and never act in selfish ways.

FYI - some of you folks might want to check out the "My children took the magic out of my trip to WDW" thread....

 

[dwkwootton]

Dr. T, thank for bringing attention to the My Kids Took the Magic Out etc thread that is running concurrent with this. Not only do I find myself in the minority on both threads, but I'm thinking I've met some of you over the years at DW. It must have been one of you waiting in line to go into the Haunted Mansion holding the terrified, screaming, shrieking, snotting, flailing child who was screaming "no, no, I don't want to go in there" who had those of us (who have been name called as members of the PPP) plenty annoyed at enduring yet another episode as a result of how so many parents have their head on backwards and can't find their way out of a paper bag. The other thread tells me that if I don't want to eat dinner or sit in an attraction while enduring screaming tantrums, there's something wrong with me (since that is perfectly normal behavior in kids) and that I should'nt go to DW. I had thought that the parents of this poor little guy were being very selfish and didn't want to miss the Haunted Mansion but it seems that the majority of posters on this thread would point out that these fine parents were letting this little brat know that he wasn't going to be the decision maker in the family at his age or maybe they knew that he'd change his stupid little mind once inside the attraction. Please go back and read the OP: she states that they are in the process of making a family decision, hmmm, but the husband doesn't want to go so I guess this family of 5 is making a family decision with 3 of them and I guess the reason the 5 and 7 yr old's opinions count is because they agree with her and apparently most of you. Family decision? Cut me a break! She wants to go and the heck with anyone in the family who doesn't LOL! And specific to the poster who has told us repeatedly that she has 2 boys age 19 and 21 so she knows that 3 yr olds change their minds like the wind, my kids are also grown and in college and when they were little, they didn't change their minds like little idiots about what to be afraid of this minute! And again, reread the OP ~ this little guy has been scared since the summer by a costumed character. How much fun will it be to be sitting next to this family at the parade when The Queen of Hearts comes charging up to him shaking her fist? When someone starts a post after that one ("we waited 2 hrs for a good spot at the parade and it was ruined because"), everyone will tell him or her that there's something wrong with them, go pat yourself on the back you PPP you, because that's how normal children behave. Reading some of these posts, you'd think that the OP was to the effect that: My 3 yr old sat me down yesterday to inform me that since he would strongly prefer to go to Universal, he will not be attending our family vacation to DW. No wonder the so-called PPP is enduring screaming fits on a regular basis. Yeah, its for the kid's sake that the parents are keeping him/her up hours past their bedtime to scream and throw food at Le Cellier before shrieking through Illuminations, especially at the really loud bangs. Poor kids. And for those of you who haven't figured it out, (and please, other members of the PPP let me know if I'm wrong here) we aren't rolling our eyes at your kids. We feel bad for your kids and we're rolling our eyes at you! There's a very big difference between discipline and respect. Reading these boards, I don't think many kids are getting either one.

 

[bdcp]

First question? Do you have any children? The trip is 5 months away and you are so sweet in your reply. No one said drag him onto rides. Everyone basically said take him and work around his fears once there. And calling someones kids little idiots is uncalled for. You are very defensive. Several people said 3 year old change their minds about everything. Nowhere did I say they change their minds about what they're afraid of every minute. I did say they change their minds constantly about many things. AND, Please, pat yourself on the back for that rant. I guess there's no use arguing with you because you obviously know exactly how to fix everyone who has posted.

BTW, I mentioned my kids ages because if you read these boards often enough (or any boards for that matter) you'll find out many people do not read the entire thread and don't have a clue what has already been said, and having very successfully raised two children, I figured I might have a clue of what I'm talking about. Also, if you read all the threads completely, you'd see I never said (nor did anyone else) drag him onto anything or force him to go on anything. I did say take him and work around it if you take him. That said, if you dont' occasionally ask your children to do something a little outside their "box" they will have a heck of a time in the world. The job of parenting involves making decisions for children until they are old enough and really capable of making their own. You gradually give children responsibilities and freedoms as they grow up. Actually most tantrums I've seen are from parents giving their children too many freedoms and decisions, not the opposite. 3 year olds are not rational little adults. They are impulsive, self-centered, little children. That's just why they need adult guidance. You also mention the children you have seen throwing tantrums and screaming no. Funny, both times I've been I dont' think I've seen a single child throwing a tantrum about going on a ride. I have seen one who decided halfway through that he didn't want to be in Alien Encounter, and I've seen plenty throw fits about ice cream, or absolutely nothing because they're tired, but not because they're terrified.

 

[maxiesmom]

I wanted to add that it has been my experience that the characters will not force themselves on a child. If they see your little one is truly frightened, they will leave them alone. Disney does not want a park full of terrorized, screaming children. Who would buy the plushy souvineers?
If you do decide to go plan on doing a child-swap for some attractions and just skiping some altogether. My 10yr old niece hates POTC, and still has not been on Malestrom. We know she is honestly frightened and will not drag her on and ruin the whole day. We take turns waiting with her, maybe do a little shopping, and then hook up again. You know your own child best. Search your heart and do whay you think is right, not what everyone else tells you is right. Good luck!

 

[Belle5]

Let me say, I have skimmed some of the replies to your post but don't have time to read everything.

I am a mom to 6 sons. For the record, they are happy and well adjusted, kind and caring. (ages 19-2) We are going on our 20th WDW vacation in January. I have dealt with two of my sons having fears like your child.

I am not meaning to be flippant in my reply--I am just in a HUGE hurry.

The boy should go. He is a valued part of the family and needs to be in the pictures. You should take him to only non-scary places. (YOU make that sacrifice this one time) Show him the BEAUTY that is WDW. Let your DH go on anything remotely frightening with the others.

Those who say to leave Dad behind are greatly underestimating the value of a dad in family vacation memories. Do some special stuff for Dad, too. Start a thread about men who used to hate WDW--what have they found that makes them like it...

My 2 cents

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I have a DS3 and we can only believe 25% of what he says! Take him!

Lori

 

[dudedisney]

Sounds to me like you have other problems going on here besides a trip to DW. Put the trip off for a year and then see who wants to go. I dragged my bunch on a trip that I thought would be fun for all and am still hearing about how dumb and boring it was. It cost too much and is too big a trip to 'drag' anyone anywhere around DW.

 

[Mom of Sleepy Bashful and BabyDoc]

Tell your 3 yr. old and your DH that you want to make this a great first family vacation. Ask your DH to "indulge" you this one time and really get behind you, support-wise, in planning this vacation. I have found when DH and I are "on the same page" with something, the children soon fall in line.

DON'T EVEN DISCUSS options with your 3 year old. Let it be known that you are a family and when your family takes a vacation, you take it together.

 

[jann1033]

If you seriously believe that a father having to go to work for a living in any way is equal to a trip to WDW, then there's no point in further discussion.

...

my point was, young children don't make decisions based on adult "rational" judgement( hence by law you can not leave a three yr old home alone, ect.not saying the op was planning on that just why a 3 yr old is incapable of making decisons for themselves much less the family) an adult would realize that a parent not going it work is not logical, a young child does not which is exactly my point

 

[bytheblood]

Dr. T, thank for bringing attention to the My Kids Took the Magic Out etc thread that is running concurrent with this. Not only do I find myself in the minority on both threads, but I'm thinking I've met some of you over the years at DW. It must have been one of you waiting in line to go into the Haunted Mansion holding the terrified, screaming, shrieking, snotting, flailing child who was screaming "no, no, I don't want to go in there" who had those of us (who have been name called as members of the PPP) plenty annoyed at enduring yet another episode as a result of how so many parents have their head on backwards and can't find their way out of a paper bag. The other thread tells me that if I don't want to eat dinner or sit in an attraction while enduring screaming tantrums, there's something wrong with me (since that is perfectly normal behavior in kids) and that I should'nt go to DW. I had thought that the parents of this poor little guy were being very selfish and didn't want to miss the Haunted Mansion but it seems that the majority of posters on this thread would point out that these fine parents were letting this little brat know that he wasn't going to be the decision maker in the family at his age or maybe they knew that he'd change his stupid little mind once inside the attraction. Please go back and read the OP: she states that they are in the process of making a family decision, hmmm, but the husband doesn't want to go so I guess this family of 5 is making a family decision with 3 of them and I guess the reason the 5 and 7 yr old's opinions count is because they agree with her and apparently most of you. Family decision? Cut me a break! She wants to go and the heck with anyone in the family who doesn't LOL! And specific to the poster who has told us repeatedly that she has 2 boys age 19 and 21 so she knows that 3 yr olds change their minds like the wind, my kids are also grown and in college and when they were little, they didn't change their minds like little idiots about what to be afraid of this minute! And again, reread the OP ~ this little guy has been scared since the summer by a costumed character. How much fun will it be to be sitting next to this family at the parade when The Queen of Hearts comes charging up to him shaking her fist? When someone starts a post after that one ("we waited 2 hrs for a good spot at the parade and it was ruined because"), everyone will tell him or her that there's something wrong with them, go pat yourself on the back you PPP you, because that's how normal children behave. Reading some of these posts, you'd think that the OP was to the effect that: My 3 yr old sat me down yesterday to inform me that since he would strongly prefer to go to Universal, he will not be attending our family vacation to DW. No wonder the so-called PPP is enduring screaming fits on a regular basis. Yeah, its for the kid's sake that the parents are keeping him/her up hours past their bedtime to scream and throw food at Le Cellier before shrieking through Illuminations, especially at the really loud bangs. Poor kids. And for those of you who haven't figured it out, (and please, other members of the PPP let me know if I'm wrong here) we aren't rolling our eyes at your kids. We feel bad for your kids and we're rolling our eyes at you! There's a very big difference between discipline and respect. Reading these boards, I don't think many kids are getting either one.

BRAVO!!!!!!!

 

[disneymama73]

Wow, I have to say I am shocked by how seriously some of you are taking this thread. Sarcasm and snottiness abounds. And how judgmental some of these statements are.

Some of these posts make it sound like the OP needs counseling or something because it "seems there is more going on here than a WDW trip."

Get real people! This is a normal mother who wants what's best for her 3-yr-old. I don't see what the big deal is if the boy stays with his grandmother for a week instead of being miserable and scared. And who are we to judge anyway?

Has anyone read the "Staring at other people's children" thread? I've had the eye rolls on more than one occasion. You want to roll your eyes at ME, go right ahead! You're not going to ruin MY trip. Just do the world a favor, would you, and please don't have any kids and PLEASE don't bring them to WDW if you do. Because then you will know what it feels like to have people rolling their eyes at you and making nasty comments when you are doing the absolute best you can. As a CM told me once, "Disney is for kids! Don't let anyone make you feel bad for bringing them here."

Wow, this is my first rant. I can't help it though. I have PMS.

 

[bytheblood]

Those who say to leave Dad behind are greatly underestimating the value of a dad in family vacation memories. Do some special stuff for Dad, too. Start a thread about men who used to hate WDW--what have they found that makes them like it...

My 2 cents

Not if the dad does not really want to go.

 

[disneymama73]

Dr. T, thank for bringing attention to the My Kids Took the Magic Out etc thread that is running concurrent with this. Not only do I find myself in the minority on both threads, but I'm thinking I've met some of you over the years at DW. It must have been one of you waiting in line to go into the Haunted Mansion holding the terrified, screaming, shrieking, snotting, flailing child who was screaming "no, no, I don't want to go in there" who had those of us (who have been name called as members of the PPP) plenty annoyed at enduring yet another episode as a result of how so many parents have their head on backwards and can't find their way out of a paper bag. The other thread tells me that if I don't want to eat dinner or sit in an attraction while enduring screaming tantrums, there's something wrong with me (since that is perfectly normal behavior in kids) and that I should'nt go to DW. I had thought that the parents of this poor little guy were being very selfish and didn't want to miss the Haunted Mansion but it seems that the majority of posters on this thread would point out that these fine parents were letting this little brat know that he wasn't going to be the decision maker in the family at his age or maybe they knew that he'd change his stupid little mind once inside the attraction. Please go back and read the OP: she states that they are in the process of making a family decision, hmmm, but the husband doesn't want to go so I guess this family of 5 is making a family decision with 3 of them and I guess the reason the 5 and 7 yr old's opinions count is because they agree with her and apparently most of you. Family decision? Cut me a break! She wants to go and the heck with anyone in the family who doesn't LOL! And specific to the poster who has told us repeatedly that she has 2 boys age 19 and 21 so she knows that 3 yr olds change their minds like the wind, my kids are also grown and in college and when they were little, they didn't change their minds like little idiots about what to be afraid of this minute! And again, reread the OP ~ this little guy has been scared since the summer by a costumed character. How much fun will it be to be sitting next to this family at the parade when The Queen of Hearts comes charging up to him shaking her fist? When someone starts a post after that one ("we waited 2 hrs for a good spot at the parade and it was ruined because"), everyone will tell him or her that there's something wrong with them, go pat yourself on the back you PPP you, because that's how normal children behave. Reading some of these posts, you'd think that the OP was to the effect that: My 3 yr old sat me down yesterday to inform me that since he would strongly prefer to go to Universal, he will not be attending our family vacation to DW. No wonder the so-called PPP is enduring screaming fits on a regular basis. Yeah, its for the kid's sake that the parents are keeping him/her up hours past their bedtime to scream and throw food at Le Cellier before shrieking through Illuminations, especially at the really loud bangs. Poor kids. And for those of you who haven't figured it out, (and please, other members of the PPP let me know if I'm wrong here) we aren't rolling our eyes at your kids. We feel bad for your kids and we're rolling our eyes at you! There's a very big difference between discipline and respect. Reading these boards, I don't think many kids are getting either one.

You truly need to get over yourself. WDW is not there 'specially for YOU. If you don't like kids, maybe YOU shouldn't go.

 

[Maverick]

I believe the adults should make the decision for a multi-thousand dollar vacation, but they have to keep the children's possible reactions in mind.

If you force him to go now, he may ruin the whole trip by 'acting up' the whole time. We don't know that this would happen, but is a possibility. Are you willing to pay all that money and then have your dreams dashed? If so, then plan the trip and take what comes your way. If not, maybe rethink the strategy.

Keep in mind that the other two kids feelings should be considered. How will they react if the 3 year-old is having a tantrum every day? Will it still be a good vacation for them if the young one is crying and getting all the attention when Mom and Dad are trying to calm him down? Will it be the memories they would like to have?

If you really want this to be a family vacation with all in attendance and everyone being happy for the entire trip, maybe you could consider waiting a year or two until you are sure that everyone will have a great time. Just seems like there are a few questions at this point and it might be hard to make a qualified decision to go.

Best of luck!

Mav

 

[dwkwootton]

Whoever said that people aren't throroughly reading this thread before commenting said a mouthful. My post tells you that I do have kids and that they are grown. As for me not liking kids ... LOL ... why am I taking the minority position here ON BEHALF of the kid? Maybe many of you need to get out of your own way since it seems like the bottom line here is that no one can see that DW is not the perfect solution to everything. We're on these boards because we're all such huge fans but there can be instances where a DW trip is not the perfect plan. Someone said the OP wants what's best for the kid here. (She probably does but if you keep the info all based on this thread, you are making an assumption probably because you feel that way.) Her post doesn't say that. Actually, says nothing like that. What it says is that she wants to go. And, she has a fairy tale dream in mind that she wants fulfilled and her problem is that the family isn't giving her what she wants. Her husband doesn't want to go either. Someone else said the OP should do whatever with a thread about husbands who didn't always like DW. Hard to imagine, but not everyone loves the place the way the people on this board do. The man doesn't want to go. And he's a grown up but he's not allowed to not want to go either? That's the topic of the thread here guys ... she wants she wants she wants so how does she make everyone fall into place so she gets what she wants. Anyway, and yes I've seen plenty of tantrums because a kid wants yet another parade toy or ice cream (often these kids are accompanied by parents who keep making the same idle threats over and over again ~ they're saying if you do that again we're leaving the park and they're saying that for the 47th time) but there are so many times at DW that these poor kids are just pushed so far beyond their limit that they have a melt down. Soooo, after pushing a kid too much too far, if someone rolls their eyes after enduring a completely unnecessary tantrum during a several hundred dollar meal at somewhere like Jiko "for the kid's sake", you're way ahead of the game. Oh, and as far as calling a kid an idiot, ummm, read what I said .... I was making the point that so many of you are treating this kid like he's an idiot. To say that a 3 yr old changes his mind alot as though the topic is what he wants for lunch tomorrow when the topic is a long standing serious fear is a jaw dropper. Well, I gotta get back to my dungeon now to think up more ways to hate children LOL!!

 

[cleo]

I would have to agree that a WDW trip might not be quite so magical right now. With a scared tot and a husband going against his will, it sounds like a recipe for an unhappy outcome. Do you really want to spend all your time worrying about what will scare your child and whether or not your husband is having fun?

As for the child changing his mind all of a sudden, that would be truly magical. My son wasn't exactly afraid of the characters when he was 3, but he certainly kept a close eye on them and didn't want to be anywhere near them. At age 12 he still steers clear of them.

It does sound like only a few family members really want this trip to happen. What about taking a vacation somewhere the whole family will enjoy, then re-visiting the WDW idea next year?

 

[dwkwootton]

I'm curious how this question will be fielded:

OP and crew have been to DW a few times. The dad/hubby (who has had sufficient opportunity to form his own opinion) doesn't want to go and is being dragged there against his will.

When and how much input should he have for where the family goes for vacation?

 

[jann1033]

I'm curious how this question will be fielded:

OP and crew have been to DW a few times. The dad/hubby (who has had sufficient opportunity to form his own opinion) doesn't want to go and is being dragged there against his will.

When and how much input should he have for where the family goes for vacation?

actually she also says the husband is "indifferent" so I guess we don't really know which is more acurate but the topic of the tread is would you listen to a 3 yr old, so evidently since thye are booking airfare the husband will go even though he isn't that keen on the idea. of course it would be different if an adult didn't want to go but that's not the issue here. and i really don't see from the op that she has a fairytale dream she wants to fulfill against everyone's wishes, that statement seems pretty harsh and not substantiated by the op

 

[Drizzo67]

My husband never wants to go------until we get there. The issue is not the husband. It is the 3yo and whether he should be left home with Grandma. Personally I would not have a good time at WDW knowing that I don't have my complete family with me. My kids have spent plenty of time away from us (staying at Grandmas) and on more than one occassion I have had to go get one of them because they missed Mommy or Daddy etc. I would be more afraid of how my 3yo would react to me not being around for a week. WDW has so many things to do that activities can be geared towards his wants and needs.

Fears at that age are intense and really should be addressed. If his not wanting to go is based on fear I would think of going someplace different, some place quieter this year and see how he feels next year. Try going to some smaller parks etc and see how he handles it. It couldn't hurt.

 

[disneymama73]

Obviously you are referring to me. I did read this entire thread, and I do realize from your post that you have grown children. Perhaps you have forgotten what they were like when they were little or didn't take them to WDW at a young age. I have no idea. I don't know you. Maybe I read your post incorrectly. It's hard to "hear" tone of voice and such in a written post. But this statement is a little hard to misread.

And for those of you who haven't figured it out, (and please, other members of the PPP let me know if I'm wrong here) we aren't rolling our eyes at your kids. We feel bad for your kids and we're rolling our eyes at you!

My baby LOVED Wishes at 11 mos. LOVED IT! Smiled, pointed...all the people around me were watching her. At 15 mos, she freaked out and started screaming her head off. How was I supposed to know that was going to happen? Was I only there "for my sake?" NO! I knew she had loved the fireworks and thought she would enjoy it. As for the people around me, if they were annoyed, then I don't know what to tell you. Sometimes your child tells you they desperately want to see a show or go on a ride, and then once there they freak out. At a show, it is easy to leave, however you get the eye rolls for blocking people's view. On a ride, you are pretty much stuck. But it's unfair to say that the parents are on the ride for their own enjoyment. Sometimes you just don't know how the child is going to react.

Your post, despite the fact that you have children, does make it sound like you find kids to be whiny annoying little brats. Again, if I misread your post, I apologize, but I don't think I did.