would you listen to a 3 year old?!

[krismom]

A dilemna that's new to me.... we are planning a family trip this March and have just begun the talking / planning part. My kids are 7,5 and 3. They have all been to Disney a few times- the thing is... my 3 year old is ADAMANT that he does not want to go! My mother says he can stay home with her for the week- but I really want this to be our first family trip that we go as a family unit (previously we brought in-laws, my parents or a babysitter). Anyway- he does get scared of dark and loud noises and hated the METS character when we took him to a baseball game last summer. He still says the "baseball head was chasing him". I am torn as to bring him and "talk him through his anxieties" (I would never force him on a ride or attraction). Or just leave him home like he is asking me too. We are about to book airfare so I need to decide soon. BTW, my husband is pretty indifferent- he is being dragged there against his will as well!

Thanks for any input....

 

[maxaroni]

Personally, I would not listen to him. I think that if you all go with the understanding that he may need some extra TLC over issues, go for it. My ds was not happy after going to WDW, 2 yrs in a row and we decided the next year to go elsewhere . Anyway, once we go on the vacation, he had a blast.

 

[Paisleyjane]

I don't think I would let a 3 year old have that option. This is a "family" experience. As long as you have been before, and will hopefully go again, then, there should be no schedule of "Have-to-do's" that would be a problem for him. Does he like the pools? I would find out what he does like about WDW and plan some things around his likes. Maybe a favorite food. Has he ever gone to Neverland Club? Maybe it would be worth just sending him there and letting the rest of the family do what they want one night, doing things he would prefer not to do. My children (now 22 and 21) LOVED the Neverland Club, they always wanted to do it more than one night. I told them sorry, it was only in the budget for one evening. I might talk to my pediatrician about this too, though, to see what else is behind his feelings. I would think it is more than just the loud noises. good luck!

 

[SandrA9810]

Well it is in March. Why don't you sit down with a vacation planning DVD and ask him to point out all the cool things that he did like about his vacation.
There has to be more good than bad about the last trip. And when you do make up the schedule of what to do, make sure you don't include any of the frightening things from the last trip. And maybe he'll get overly excited when you get there to forget about not wanting to be there.

 

[mjkaferle5]

A dilemna that's new to me.... we are planning a family trip this March and have just begun the talking / planning part. My kids are 7,5 and 3. They have all been to Disney a few times- the thing is... my 3 year old is ADAMANT that he does not want to go! My mother says he can stay home with her for the week- but I really want this to be our first family trip that we go as a family unit (previously we brought in-laws, my parents or a babysitter). Anyway- he does get scared of dark and loud noises and hated the METS character when we took him to a baseball game last summer. He still says the "baseball head was chasing him". I am torn as to bring him and "talk him through his anxieties" (I would never force him on a ride or attraction). Or just leave him home like he is asking me too. We are about to book airfare so I need to decide soon. BTW, my husband is pretty indifferent- he is being dragged there against his will as well!

Thanks for any input....

Our twin DS's are 4 1/2 and at first said they didn't want to go. But I showed them Disney World on the planning DVD and some shows from the Travel Channel. Now they really want to go!!

Also they are very afraid of characters too!! If we go to a Tigers Ballgame they want nothing to do with Paws the Tigers Mascot. If they see him they want to run the other way. Even if he is halfway across the stadium!!!

I hope they get over this fear by the time of our Disney trip!!

 

[952LisaR]

I believe your child has to be 4 to use the Neverland club.
I have a 3 and 4 year old so I know where you are coming from. Think about this question: What is your objective - a vacation with everyone in the family OR a vacation to disney world?
If it is the first then you may want to consider some place else or know going you may "miss out" on certain things because of your 3 year old. If the goal is really a disney vacation you may want to consider leaving him with your mom, especially if you know you will be going back to WDW in the future. Good luck.

 

[KathylovesPooh]

No, its a family vacation and you make the decisions. In five years, your twelve year old might think they are too "old" (i.e. too cool) for family vacations - same thing they don't have a choice. That said, you might end up not going as many rides yourself and end up spending time doing alternative things with DD3. And don't forget, three year olds can also change a lot in give months.

 

[missymagic]

Tell him that he will be going with the family and then make him feel important. Give him the video or a book and tell him IT IS HIS JOB to pick out example to special places for the family to eat or special rides that are a must for the whole family. My girls LOVE to feel important and that they contributed.

 

[metsfan11]

i agree about showing him the dvd and showing him all of the cool things that he did and can do at disney. get him all pumped up about the trip. no matter what he says, make SURE HE GOES! oh and by the way, i am a HUGE METS FAN!!! when i was little i was scared of mr met too LOL! he is kinda scary...

heres a pic of mr met:

 

[stinkerbelle]

no offense...but if you give in now and let him have his way at age 3

what are you gonna do when he's a teen?

gotta put your foot down sometime.

 

[mommaU4]

Hmmm tough question. I would listen to him to an extent, meaning explain to him that as a part of the family he needs to go on the family vacation. But then tell him you'll sit down with him and talk about what he would like to do. Make it fun. Bring out the old pics, a planning video, brochures/AAA book or go to the library together to see if there are any WDW books there. Then have him tell you what he'd like to do and not do and WHY? The why part is important because you might discover that he has some irrational fear that you didn't know abou that you can explain the truth to him. My friends DD hated going on the Casey Jr. train and would always cry. Come to find out she just hated where they sat, because her older sis always wanted to sit in those cages and the younger child was scared of being behind the bars. After learning this they went on it and made sure to sit out in the open. She loved it then. So you never know what they may be thinking.

Having said that, as I'm sure you know, never force him to go on anything even rides that to us seem harmless can be terrifying to a child. And try not to be disappointed if he refuses to go on a ride that you think he'll enjoy. Another benfit to planning which rides to go on before hand, is you'll avoid confrontations there at the park. And once he sees his siblings having fun chances are he will too.


About the costumed characters that sometimes changes over time. My girls were horribly scared of them when they were 3. Would literally scream and try to climb out of their strollers if one came near them. Who can blame them really? They scare me sometimes because I always wonder who's really in there! They never had a problem with the non-costumed characters like the princesses. Now at age 5 they love them all. It just takes time. But don't force them let them make the decision when to go near one or not.

I think as parents who love Disney so much we sometimes get disappointed if our kids aren't thrilled over every little thing, but give him time and relax and everything will be fine!

 

[webray]

A dilemna that's new to me.... we are planning a family trip this March and have just begun the talking / planning part. My kids are 7,5 and 3. They have all been to Disney a few times- the thing is... my 3 year old is ADAMANT that he does not want to go! My mother says he can stay home with her for the week- but I really want this to be our first family trip that we go as a family unit (previously we brought in-laws, my parents or a babysitter). Anyway- he does get scared of dark and loud noises and hated the METS character when we took him to a baseball game last summer. He still says the "baseball head was chasing him". I am torn as to bring him and "talk him through his anxieties" (I would never force him on a ride or attraction). Or just leave him home like he is asking me too. We are about to book airfare so I need to decide soon. BTW, my husband is pretty indifferent- he is being dragged there against his will as well!

Thanks for any input....

Personally, if he doesn't want to go, then leave him home. I don't believe in taking babies into the park, definately not a three year old. Think about it..from his vantage point. All he looks at all day long is peoples butts, that's it. Not much fun for a child if you ask me. He can't ride the majority of the rides, and you have to plan naps, etc, taking time away from what should be a great vacation.

 

[funcinderella]

Our twin DS's are 4 1/2 and at first said they didn't want to go. But I showed them Disney World on the planning DVD and some shows from the Travel Channel. Now they really want to go!!

Also they are very afraid of characters too!! If we go to a Tigers Ballgame they want nothing to do with Paws the Tigers Mascot. If they see him they want to run the other way. Even if he is halfway across the stadium!!!

I hope they get over this fear by the time of our Disney trip!!

I have 4 1/2 year old twins too! (Boy/girl) Their birthday is April 23.

Anyway, I would make him go. There's gotta be something he likes at WDW. My kid love the boneyard at AK, and they're really looking forward to the Honey, I Shrunk... Playground. Non-threatening things like that.
However, mine have always liked the characters too (thank goodness) so that's also been a big part of our trips. Maybe his tastes will change by the time you go...

 

[WDWLinda]

Book it now with him included, then drop the subject for a few months. He's set in his head now that he's not going, and every time you bring it up, he just reinforces his stand. Gradually show him the Disney DVD, movies, the website with the video clips of the rides, etc., but don't tell him you're going. Eventually he'll drop this position and get interested and want to go. And he'll definitley have fun, even at his age. My 4 yr old has been 4 times already and loves the place. Just don't push it now. Also, maybe talk about going to Sea World, or some other place down there that may catch his interest.

Good luck.

~Linda

 

[dwkwootton]

Yes, I would listen to a 3 yr old (or a 2 yr old, 4 yr old or any age child). Its all the difference in the world when you're talking about a child having a tantrum over wanting another toy or whatever ... and a child who is afraid. I was very strict with my kids and I wish more people were today, but this is an entirely different game. I don't think its a good idea to force a child into a situation that is fearful to them. All the talking in the world isn't going to cut it with someone who is scared. He'll work it out himself with time. If your little guy is afraid of the dark, loud noises, and costumed characters ... I don't think DW is a good spot for him! I'm hard pressed to think of ONE attraction that doesn't involve one of those 3 fears. If you want a family vac together that much, why not go somewhere else this year and shoot for Disney the following year.

 

[bytheblood]

Yes, I would listen to a 3 yr old (or a 2 yr old, 4 yr old or any age child). Its all the difference in the world when you're talking about a child having a tantrum over wanting another toy or whatever ... and a child who is afraid. I was very strict with my kids and I wish more people were today, but this is an entirely different game. I don't think its a good idea to force a child into a situation that is fearful to them. All the talking in the world isn't going to cut it with someone who is scared. He'll work it out himself with time. If your little guy is afraid of the dark, loud noises, and costumed characters ... I don't think DW is a good spot for him! I'm hard pressed to think of ONE attraction that doesn't involve one of those 3 fears. If you want a family vac together that much, why not go somewhere else this year and shoot for Disney the following year.

I agree with this post.

Not worth toting a miserable child around. Won't be much of a vacation if your baby does not want to do anything.

 

[VSL]

I don't really have anything to add (I don't have any kids) - just wanted to drop in and offer some support. People on both sides of the 'argument' have made good points.

 

[mommaU4]

Personally, if he doesn't want to go, then leave him home. I don't believe in taking babies into the park, definately not a three year old. Think about it..from his vantage point. All he looks at all day long is peoples butts, that's it. Not much fun for a child if you ask me. He can't ride the majority of the rides, and you have to plan naps, etc, taking time away from what should be a great vacation.

I never thought of it that way! Is that why so many adult men like checkin out women's "butts"?

Seriously, I don't think of a 3 yr old as a baby. They are toddlers and can still get alot out of the parks. Trust me on this. We had AP's to DL and Universal Hollywood and always took my young kids. They loved it. I don't regret it for a minute. Yes it takes more planning but it brought us so much joy and great memories and you can see from the smiles on their faces in all their pics they had fun.

Another thing to consider is at 3, a week away from mom and dad, even if it is with grandma, can be a long time! What if she calls home evryday to check on him, cause that's what I'd do, and he's unhappy with grandma too. If it was me I'd then feel even more miserable because I'd left him behind and the trip would be ruined for me anyway. Just another thing to consider.....

One more tip: Try taking him to the toy store or Dsiney store and let him pick out a stuffed animal that will be his new travel buddy. That might help. Or go to those build-a bear shops and see if they have a travel bear. Just an idea.

 

[bdcp]

I wouldn't let him make that decision. It's a family vacation, he's part of the family and that would be it in our family. My boys are 19 and 21 and never told us they weren't going on vacation with us. I understand the fear factor, but if you let him decide this, what else are you going to let him decide? He'll find he can have his way if he puts his foot down and at 3 that's not something you want started yet. You're the adult. Act like it. Obviously somewhere he got the idea it's his choice.

Also, small children change their minds constantly. What would you do if you got down there without him and he then begged to come to you? That's very likely to happen. This could really turn into a bigger control issue than it already is. 3 isn't old enough to have any idea of what they really want.

 

[twinz]

I work at a daycare and I have 6 three year olds in my room...half the time they don't even know what they want! I think the unexpected might be scaring your little one. I think once you get there and he sees that it's not all that bad he will enjoy himself. Three year olds can be crazy, and very unpredictable! LOL I say take him.