Would you let your child wait for you outside of ride???

[cheer25mom]

Yeah, I'm good at math. So I would leave my 10 year old on a bench outside Haunted Mansion. And I don't play the lottery.

 

[fitzperry]

And facts are facts. No child has ever been abducted from WDW. On average there are only 115 stranger abductions per year in the US. Somewhere close to half of those are found alive and unharmed so less than 60 kids a year are harmed by a stranger out of the hundereds of millions. It is more statistically probable to win the lottery. There are many more things our there that carry orders of maginitude more risk with them, but we never thinktwice about them. Why is the least liekly scenario thing we are afraid of?

I blame the media. The least likely scenario is a terrifying, horrible, devastating thing that should never happen to any family. But because of the way we're exposed to information today, that scenario seems much more common than it really is, which leads us to think we should take every precaution to prevent it when we should be taking reasonable precautions.

 

[CatelynnMarie]

Most people are claiming the side of this debate if you will, that disagree with not letting your child be left alone, that we are all psychotic, obsessive, bubblewrapping loons who need to control every move of our loved ones which IS delusional. Not EVERYONE who disagrees with you is over obsessive and controlling
All I basically ever said was that I don't personally like the idea of leaving a kid at 10 years old in a big place and that is MY opinion. Lol I never even disagreed with anyone until the backlash started. I also never said, oh my godddddd guys okay so there's abductors in every single area we go and OHGOD SUCH A HUGE PLACE YOU WILL DEFINITELY GET LOST.
I just am not willing to take the small chance of something happening. Maybe at 12 years old or 13, but not 10. End of.

 

[cheer25mom]

I blame the media. The least likely scenario is a terrifying, horrible, devastating thing that should never happen to any family. But because of the way we're exposed to information today, that scenario seems much more common than it really is, which leads us to think we should take every precaution to prevent it when we should be taking reasonable precautions.

I think you are right. Child abductions have actually decreased pretty sharply over the last 20 years, yet everyone talks about how it is more dangerous to let your kids out of your sight than it was when we were growing up. I think that those worst case scenarios are just mroe visible, and that the media is playing on the anxieties of parents for ratings in a lot of cases.

 

[luvmy2babies]

I already mentioned I travel alone with my two so I miss out on quite a few things. It is what it is. But I do plan to leave her at the Kidcot table in Mexico to go on the boat ride in there. In the OP’s case though I just don’t see why the ride can’t be done when her spouse is with her.

I think we have to arm our children with the tools they need and according to their personalities and any other circumstances, let go of them a little at a time. If we arm them with confidence at a certain age, I think they will also look less vulnerable to bad people.

I travel with my two to various places. My daughter and I had traveled sparingly while I was married. We started traveling alone after dh died. Plus I had just had ds. Dd was 6 then and the mantra any time we traveled was “the family sticks together”. I’m learning though to give my daughter more independence especially since last year when she successfully followed her previously given instructions when we were separated at Epcot.

She had a bracelet with my cell number and was told many times if we were separated to find a worker inside a store and if she couldn’t remember the number it would be in the bracelet. When I found her she was giving the CM the paper inside her bracelet. My normally very emotional child was calm and collected. The CM was really impressed. She said they deal with a lot of children where there is no contact information on them and they can’t remember any numbers due to the stress. Sometimes they don’t come to them they just see them alone and frightened not knowing what to do. Just having that bracelet though kept her calm whereas had she been running around frantic, she might have attracted the attention of someone with less than honorable intentions.

We do lots of sporting events and I have let her now at basketball games begin to go to the restroom and to the concession stand alone as it is generally a “walk to the top of the section and about 5 feet from there either left or right. It is always preceded by the question, “what section are we in?” So, she's getting that freedom, plus making monetary transactions at the food counter. I have also left her in our seats to do the same. She knows to scream bloody murder or go to a security officer as I point them out when we arrive if someone tries anything. We’ve had so many conversations about it, that on the two occasions something did go wrong and we were separated, instead of finding her curled up in a corner or walking around hysterical, she was calmly doing what she’d been told to do.

ADHD, Dyslexia and Anxiety doesn't put her in the category of being my dependent indefinitely, she won’t stay a little girl forever and it is up to me to give her the tools to thrive. It may be more work than it would with a typical child and she may be older when she gets some freedoms than others, but it must be done. Not only is she growing up, but I’m raising her and her brother alone. I cannot be everywhere.

Yes, it’s one ride, but you can view that either way. You can say it’s not worth the risk for one ride. You can also say, it won’t ruin the child if it’s one ride. And even though it’s Disney World, yes it is my vacation too. I’ll make my share of sacrifices. My world revolves around them. I’ll probably end up on IASW 10 times during this vacation.

 

[cheer25mom]

Most people are claiming the side of this debate if you will, that disagree with not letting your child be left alone, that we are all psychotic, obsessive, bubblewrapping loons who need to control every move of our loved ones which IS delusional. Not EVERYONE who disagrees with you is over obsessive and controlling
All I basically ever said was that I don't personally like the idea of leaving a kid at 10 years old in a big place and that is MY opinion. Lol I never even disagreed with anyone until the backlash started. I also never said, oh my godddddd guys okay so there's abductors in every single area we go and OHGOD SUCH A HUGE PLACE YOU WILL DEFINITELY GET LOST.
I just am not willing to take that chance. End of.

No one said any of that.


Actually you said:

People think OHMYGOD WDW THAT MEANS WE ARE SAFE ALWAYS. Yes WDW is extremely safe, we all know that, but that doesn't mean you should ***.u.me and be delusional either.
.

that also imo doesn't mean you should just go, "Oh honey I REALLY want to go on this ride and I know you don't like it so is it okay if I just go on and you can wait right here? I'll get you some popcorn and I'll be right back. I love you *pats head*" whenever you feel like it.
QUOTE]

So based on some of your assumptions, my non existent child would be forever dependent on me and afraid of the world because I would choose not to leave them alone in a huge public space at a certain age
Cute.

.

This thread is a mess tbh.
Use a little common sense.
I would never risk my child getting hurt, lost or abducted, etc. At a certain age, okay, acceptable. Call me overprotective, but being a New Yorker and seeing how absolute flop the world is, I'd never risk it.

Seems pretty clear what you think of those that don't agree with you.

 

[CatelynnMarie]

Seems pretty clear what you think of those that don't agree with you.

Actually, some of what i said were responses to multiple people, but just weren't quoted. My first response was just from when I was scrolling down the first page to make a response because it was shocking to me that so many people are just okay with letting their child be alone.

 

[DnAnCl]

And facts are facts. No child has ever been abducted from WDW. On average there are only 115 stranger abductions per year in the US. Somewhere close to half of those are found alive and unharmed so less than 60 kids a year are harmed by a stranger out of the hundereds of millions. It is more statistically probable to win the lottery. There are many more things our there that carry orders of maginitude more risk with them, but we never thinktwice about them. Why is the least liekly scenario thing we are afraid of?

And no bomb has ever been set off at an athletic event in the US . Boston Marathon! One of the dead, a little boy.
A young girl abducted and found after 18 years..... Three young girls abducted 10 years ago recently found.
and on and on............... It doesn't happen a D. I pray that it is always the case and it is the happiest place.

 

[cheer25mom]

And no bomb has ever been set off at an athletic event in the US . Boston Marathon! One of the dead, a little boy.
A young girl abducted and found after 18 years..... Three young girls abducted 10 years ago recently found.
and on and on............... It doesn't happen a D. I pray that it is always the case and it is the happiest place.

Of course it does happen, but VERY, VERY rarely. Not long ago a train derailed near my home and someone was killed. I still get on the train. We still attend atheletic events, even after Boston. We all sent our kids to school this morning, even after the stories about these young women. All I am saying is we shouldn't let fear of something that is so very unlikely rule our lives to the point that we stop allowing our kids to do the everyday things they needto do to be independent adults. I see this generation's parents headed more and more down that road.

I don't live my life in fear of the boogeyman lurking around every corner any more than I do that an asteroid will hit my house tomorrow. Both could happen, and havehapeened to someone but I am not putting up a blast shield at home.

 

[Granny square]

Of course it does happen, but VERY, VERY rarely. Not long ago a train derailed near my home and someone was killed. I still get on the train. We still attend atheletic events, even after Boston. We all sent our kids to school this morning, even after the stories about these young women. All I am saying is we shouldn't let fear of something that is so very unlikely rule our lives to the point that we stop allowing our kids to do the everyday things they needto do to be independent adults. I see this generation's parents headed more and more down that road.

I don't live my life in fear of the boogeyman lurking around every corner any more than I do that an asteroid will hit my house tomorrow. Both could happen, and havehapeened to someone but I am not putting up a blast shield at home.

No kidding! I'd say you could just never leave your home again to protect yourself from all, but you are more likely to be killed by accident etc, in your home.

I'd leave a responsible kid but a parent needs to know their child. If they are going to be a pain in the butt no way.

 

[oneplustwo11]

So if opinions are opinions, why all the talk about others being delusional haters?

Agree. No one is right or wrong here. I would not leave my 10 alone to wait because I wanted to ride. I don't think it's fair. This is a family vacation so why should that child be " punished" for not being comfortable with a ride. ( sit alone waiting is not fun at any age).

And. Many other things can happen beside abduction. Too many variables. Deciding to keep my child safe ( mentally and physically) is my job and this will not hinder him/her from becoming a stable, functioning, strong, independent adult. I have been very overprotective with my oldest ( now 16) and she has no problem taking care of herself. I have valued her opinion and let her participate in some family decisions. I have encouraged her and supported her and I never had to leave her alone at a park to "test" her independence.

But the OPs 10 year old is not my child. If you feel comfortable with it and your child feels comfortable with it and won't have hurt feelings on a family vacation because of it. Then to each their own.

 

[Love Tink]

I have strong, safe, not naive, adult children.

Yes I am aware of the surroundings before my child goes to someones house. Pool, lake, guns, trampolines, drugs? I even do a criminal background check.

Wait. You do background checks before your adult children go places? Wow. That's totally normal.

 

[MakiraMarlena]

As far as preventing the "danger," 10 year olds are old enough to be taught the safety basics. Stay where you are. Don't leave this bench or gift shop. If someone tries to get you to go with them, do not do it, no matter what they tell you. Just say no. If they bother you , get a CM's attention. If they try to grab you, scream, kick and fight. Yell "this is not my parent." The park is a public place, lots of people are around, and there won't be a weapon like a gun to scare the victim into compliance.

As to whether any given 10 year old is capable of following those instructions, the parents know them best. If the parents think they're capable of being proactive, then I can't think they're terrible parents for letting the kid wait for them while they do a ride.

Abductors try to get the kid to go somewhere isolated. If they're desperate enough, they just grab and run. In a WDW park there really isn't anyplace to run.

 

[Love Tink]

As far as preventing the "danger," 10 year olds are old enough to be taught the safety basics. Stay where you are. Don't leave this bench or gift shop. If someone tries to get you to go with them, do not do it, no matter what they tell you. Just say no. If they bother you , get a CM's attention. If they try to grab you, scream, kick and fight. Yell "this is not my parent." It's a public place, lots of people are around, and there won't be a weapon like a gun to scare the victim into compliance.

Right. We're not talking about a gullible toddler - we're talking about a fourth or fifth grader. If the kid doesn't know how to scream "NO!" and get help by that age...you have big problems, as a parent.

Thanks to the many repeat commenters for your reasonable comments on the side of responsible parenting (the other side - the "police state" side hasn't been quite so well-said and reasonable). But you have to know you are beating your head against a wall. Anyone who has kids who are school age or recently school age has seen the shift in society in the last ten or so years. (Some teachers here think it started with the babies born after 9/11. One theory.) Four year olds are now babies and ten year olds are four year olds and high school kids are ten year olds.

The good news is that all these parents who want to smother and baby their kids will have plenty of opportunities to do so...all through their late teens and twenties. And thirties.

 

[cheer25mom]

Agree. No one is right or wrong here. I would not leave my 10 alone to wait because I wanted to ride. I don't think it's fair. This is a family vacation so why should that child be " punished" for not being comfortable with a ride. ( sit alone waiting is not fun at any age).

And. Many other things can happen beside abduction. Too many variables. Deciding to keep my child safe ( mentally and physically) is my job and this will not hinder him/her from becoming a stable, functioning, strong, independent adult. I have been very overprotective with my oldest ( now 16) and she has no problem taking care of herself. I have valued her opinion and let her participate in some family decisions. I have encouraged her and supported her and I never had to leave her alone at a park to "test" her independence.

But the OPs 10 year old is not my child. If you feel comfortable with it and your child feels comfortable with it and won't have hurt feelings on a family vacation because of it. Then to each their own.

I wouldn't leave mine as simply a test. I would however let her sit by herself outside in a heartbeat if that is what SHE wanted to do. For some kids, particularly mine, a few minutes of alone time is not a punishment at all, especially if she has a phone or her ipod.

I think that many of us have different definitions of "take care of themselves" . My definition at 16 would be could that child handle it if I dopped off the face of the planet today. Could she be totally independent and run a household on her own? Can she get herself where she needs to go? Buy groceries herself? Cook? Do laundry? Keep up with what needs to be done? Does she know how to take care of her car? Could she talk to service people and get it taken care of if a problem cropped up with the house, car ect? Can she be responsible for her personal safety in crowed places and unfamiliar situations? If I drop her in the middle of an unfimilar city, would she have the skills to cope on her own? Cna she get herself on and off a plane? Drive in a city she doesn't know? Because they will need to be doing all these things in just 2 years when they head to college. If mine isn't there by 16 I wil definitely be pushing her to do more for herself. If they haven't been left alone at any point prior, the odds are pretty low that they are going to be capable of these things when they leave the nest.

 

[tsme]

Nope

 

[Granny square]

I wouldn't leave mine as simply a test. I would however let her sit by herself outside in a heartbeat if that is what SHE wanted to do. For some kids, particularly mine, a few minutes of alone time is not a punishment at all, especially if she has a phone or her ipod.

I think that many of us have different definitions of "take care of themselves" . My definition at 16 would be could that child handle it if I dopped off the face of the planet today. Could she be totally independent and run a household on her own? Can she get herself where she needs to go? Buy groceries herself? Cook? Do laundry? Keep up with what needs to be done? Does she know how to take care of her car? Could she talk to service people and get it taken care of if a problem cropped up with the house, car ect? Can she be responsible for her personal safety in crowed places and unfamiliar situations? If I drop her in the middle of an unfimilar city, would she have the skills to cope on her own? Cna she get herself on and off a plane? Drive in a city she doesn't know? Because they will need to be doing all these things in just 2 years when they head to college. If mine isn't ther by 16 I wil definitely be pushing her to do more for herself. If they ahven't been left alone at any point prior, the odds are pretty low that they are going to be capable of these thinswhen they leave the nest.

Any kid who can get in a car and go wherever they want needs all of those skills.

I've got a friend currently who is making me crazy with her controlling nature. She smothers her kids in her need to fulfill her needs.

 

[disney1990]

If you think it is scary to leave your 10 year old on a bench in Disney World, wait until the first time you hand your 16 year old the car keys and let them drive away.

Never think you will change your opinion about something. Our 8 year old granddaughter had cancer and almost died. Her over-protective father (our son-in-law) experienced a life changing event. His daughters were never allowed 2 piece bathing suits, having their ears pierced, and so many other things. Two years ago, his 11 year old daughter was allowed to go and ride Rock n Roller Coaster while he road Tower of Terror - just because that was what she wanted to do. He no longer can worry about every little thing, because he has seen that bad things can and do happen and we can't control them.

 

[DSNY4ever]

My son is just a toddler so I don't know how I will feel when he is this age, but I am just curious- at what age are children staying home alone or walking home from school alone these days?

 

[jaykorf001]

Right. We're not talking about a gullible toddler - we're talking about a fourth or fifth grader. If the kid doesn't know how to scream "NO!" and get help by that age...you have big problems, as a parent.

Thanks to the many repeat commenters for your reasonable comments on the side of responsible parenting (the other side - the "police state" side hasn't been quite so well-said and reasonable). But you have to know you are beating your head against a wall. Anyone who has kids who are school age or recently school age has seen the shift in society in the last ten or so years. (Some teachers here think it started with the babies born after 9/11. One theory.) Four year olds are now babies and ten year olds are four year olds and high school kids are ten year olds.

The good news is that all these parents who want to smother and baby their kids will have plenty of opportunities to do so...all through their late teens and twenties. And thirties.

This thread is interesting to see the total split in parenting. I sometimes ask myself why kids are so different today and I'm not sure why but I do think its the case. One of my best friends wouldn't allow their college freshman to drive to Columbia, MO from suburban KC (less than 2 hours). Stunning to me considering she's down there experiencing the freedom a typical college freshmen does every night.

I hope to lean more towards how I was raised -- more freedom. But I still sense within myself that somehow times have changed as evidenced by all the people so vehemently saying they wouldn't allow their 10 year old to wait.

I hope when my kid's 10 he is comfortable enough and confident enough to do something like wait nearby at WDW which I consider basic and easy. But obviously we all do what we think is best for our families.