Honestly, I am having a hard time understanding the attitude of not letting them have fun without you. I would hope you would just appreciate the opportunity and the time alone with your baby while your son is having a great time with a family member that loves him dearly.
Selfish, selfish, selfish! To deny a child because YOU cannot take part in the joy. Shameful.
So my husband and I decided not to let my son go. He can go in a few years with us when his sister is a little bit older. I told my SIL, who was disappointed. She asked us to reconsider, giving the reason that we use her in our place quite frequently so we must trust her. We told her that wasn't the issue. We just don't want him to go without us. She'll get over it and lucky for me, she loves my kids too much so I'll never lose my free and almost always available child care! Lol!
Do not be too sure about that. SIL may rethink her generosity and let you rethink who is the lucky one.
I just feel like for these special memories, I should be a part of them. He's my kid, after all.
And I don't really think I am taking advantage of my sister in law. She loves spending time with the kids so that's a benefit for her. If she didn't, she could say no. Plus, it's family and I don't really think you should have to pay family for helping you out. I helped her move a few years ago and I didn't expect any type of compensation. Same kind of thing.
For the love of all that is holy, you take the cake. You are doing HER a favor? Many years ago I was told I was privileged to change my DH cousins baby. Last diaper I changed. SOmetimes there are people who are blinded by greed and I think you may be one of those people.
OP here. I am not a troll and was genuinely interested in other people's take on the situation and what they would do. I thought that was the kind of the point of these boards. I won't apologize for my feelings about wanting to experience special moments with my kids. I know I do rely on my SIL a lot and trust isn't the issue here. I just don't to miss out on special times with my kids. We will go back to WDW in 3 or 4 years and that will be fine.
I have no words.
You are right, that did come across as insensitive, but I wasn't trying to be.
Most of your posts come across as insensitive. I am still speechless about the childless comment.
How is she being taken advantage of? We do use her for child care, but she doesn't HAVE to do it, she does it because she loves the kids and loves to spend time with them. I see it as being mutually beneficial to all parties involved, us, her and the kids. Yes, we save a ton of money, but she gets to be way more involved in the kids' lives than she would be if she didn't take care of them so often.
Lucky her! You better hope that your SIL does not decide she is way too invested in what is clearly a one sided relationship.
Again, I don't feel she is being taken advantage of, since she could say "No, I don't want to watch the kids." Yes, she is a very good babysitter and does a lot with and for the kids, she is also easy going with last minute changes in plans, which I appreciate a lot but that doesn't mean I should automatically let her take my kid on a vacation that I will take him on in a few years.
I don't know if that would work out so well. Paying for her entire vacation seems a bit much to me. Plus we have very different ideas of how a Disney vacation should be. We only like to go to two parks at most when we are there and spend the majority of our time by the pool. I don't know if she would even like that.
You know what? You are right. I would not travel with you either, even if it was a fully paid for trip.
My children went to Disney with their grandparents (I had taken them once a couple of years before), I stayed home and was green with envy the entire time but now years later they still talk about little things from their trip so I know I made the right decision for them. I also let the same grandparents take them to Sesame Place without me. That wasn't as much of a big deal for me, I like going there but not like I enjoy going to Disney. We live in MA so both SP and Disney involved some travel (SP is about 4 hours driving without stopping).
I took my DGD to Disney when she was 4. It was not her first trip, so Mom and Dad did not miss that. I will say that it was tough on them, but they loved her and trusted me. I would die for that child. She is almost 15, and we still do things without DD and DSIL. She loves that we leave her parents home once in a while and experience special things together. She says its "our thing". DH surprised the two of us with a long weekend in NYC this summer, complete with awesome meals shows, tours and our favorite hotel. He then took DD and DSIL out to dinner, as he always does if Kady and I are away together. DSIL told him that he thought his precious daughter was so lucky. She had grandparents who adore her, and who make time to be alone with her. He said his own grands, who were millionaires, spent not one minute alone with any of them.
I know it is hard on them when Kady is away, especially my DD. She spends every minute at night with her since DSIL works evenings. They never say no, though because they believe the relationship we have forged is important for their daughter.
I am so stinkin glad I am not related to the OP
