Would you let your 4th grader go?

[mom2val]

I need some input because I am freaking out.

DD is 9 and in 4th grade. 1 week before we leave for Disney - not that the date really matters but just telling to give the whole picture- DD's entire 4th grade class of 60 students is scheduled to go on a field trip. They leave at 6am and get back at 8 pm. They will ride on a charter bus 400 miles roundtrip to visit our states capital. 3 teachers and 9 parents are getting to go. There was a lottery drawing for the 9 parent spots and I was not chosen.

No parents are allowed to go if they were not chosen. We have been warned that any parents that take the "it's a free country and I can follow the bus and meet them there attitude" will be asked to leave and risk being arrested. It is a private tour company doing the field trip and the group is being given special access - the cost is $80 a kid /chaperone!

I am really freaking out about DD being gone for 14 hours, out of town, riding a bus all without me our her Dad. I can honestly say there are only 6 people on this planet beside me and her Dad that I would allow to take her on a day trip like this - and not one of them is going on this trip. So do I let her go and pray for the best or trust my gut and say no way.

 

[beansmom]

didn't you go on field trips as a kid? we did. I'd let her go.

 

[SLK1]

Totally understand your concern, and 4th grade is young, but I would let her go. Schools do these trips all the time and they wouldn't do them if they had a tendency to be disastrous! They keep the kids busy and it's very exciting...not something you would want your daughter to miss out on. I would recommend trying to be very positive and upbeat, and realize how much fun she will have. And then next time she wants to do something not so far and not so long, it won't seem like such a big deal!

 

[Magic Mom]

Yes, I would let mine go.

 

[wbn36]

I understnad your concern. They go on trips 40 minutes away and I do everything I can to get picked so that I can watch over them. If I don't, I let them go and hope I know a parent/chaperone well enough to feel comfortable.

I would see what everyone else is doing then decide. How much are they going to see driving 400 miles? Does he have any type of medical issue etc.
How does he feel about it?

Sometimes being a parent is so hard.

Good luck

 

[jasmom]

I understand your concern. My son just finished grade 4 and is going into grade 5. I also have a son going into grade 3. For me it would depend on your child and how you would expect that they would behave. You know your child best if they can handle the trip. I would send either one of my sons. I would hope that you would know at least one of the parents going? Would the group be divided into smaller groups assigned to an adult? I would want to know who's group they would be in.Hopefully they would be assigned a buddy. Make sure they know where they are going an numbers to call if a problem. I usually give my kids a small card with emergency numbers on it and tape money for a payphone on the back. Good luck

 

[hereyago]

No parents are allowed to go if they were not chosen. We have been warned that any parents that take the "it's a free country and I can follow the bus and meet them there attitude" will be asked to leave and risk being arrested. It is a private tour company doing the field trip and the group is being given special access - the cost is $80 a kid /chaperone!

OMG!!!!! If our school tried this with us, they would get laughed at with a whole caravan of parents just on general principle alone. How can they tell you you can't go visit the capital on your own and perhaps meet up with your kid?! That alone would tell them they don't get my money or my kid.

 

[Ericandjenng]

I think before I made a decision I would be asking the principal and teachers alot more questions including why so restrictive. If you're willing to fork over $80 per child/adult, why do they not want as many as possible to go with them. The 1 to 5 ratio is fairly good but what are they going to do if a parent backs out or has a last minute emergency? What if it's two parents that all the sudden can't go? The ratios change dramatically.

My oldest child will start the field trips this year and definitely won't be like this yet but I can see where you are concerned. I am the type with my kids to be front and center to volunteer to chaperone but I would let them go on a trip even if one of us couldn't if I was reasonably comfortable with the teacher and the principal who gives the ok.

I also make an effort every year to volunteer at school so that the teachers/staff know me and know I am involved in my kids' lives. I also make an effort to talk with other parents even if I wouldn't let my kid go off with them somewhere just to have that presence in their minds. Are you involved like this or is there time before the trip to get to know some of the chaperones?

Good luck!!

--edited--I forgot my other suggestion...do they have their own cell phone or can you give them yours/spouses for the day? Most if not all phones have the capability of being set to be used as a locator device. If you can't find where to do it through settings, call/go see your cell phone company.

 

[kathie859]

200 miles one way, let's assume a 4 hr trip. That leaves touring and lunch for a 6 hour time period, then a 4 hr trip back. Yes, I'd let my child do this but I would ask what type of enroute entertainment or educational program or snacks would be provided. I am assuming lunch in the capital. Sounds like a possibly great adventure to me.

 

[mom2d&b]

You need to be comfortable with the school staff who is on the trip. The summer b4 DS(now 8) was in K, he and DD (now 11) they went to an amusment park 3 hours from our house. They left at 5:30am and returned about 10pm. I have known the staff for a few years and felt OK with them taking great care of the kids. They had a great system with shirts, wrist bands, small groups, etc. This year DD is in 5th grade and will be flying from FL to Washington DC with 49 other kids from her school. They will be gone for 3 days. Again, I trust the staff that will be with them.

 

[mjkacmom]

Sounds like fun - I wouldn't hesitate. I've never actually been on a field trip myself - always had other kids at home. Our 6th graders go on a 2 night camping trip, and neither DH or I have gone.

 

[nchulka]

I would have no problem letting my kids go out of fear of something happening to them. The 80 bucks is another story, I don't typically have that laying around. If the money doesn't matter send him. Your child will be just fine. This summer I sent my DD (just finished 2nd going into 3rd) to sleep away camp for 6 days. She had a blast, her first letter home started "You were right mom, I'm not homesick at all" Kids thrive with independence and when under proper supervision (school trip, camp) you can let them enjoy spreading their wings without the worry.

 

[Magic Mom]

OMG!!!!! If our school tried this with us, they would get laughed at with a whole caravan of parents just on general principle alone. How can they tell you you can't go visit the capital on your own and perhaps meet up with your kid?! That alone would tell them they don't get my money or my kid.

If they are going on a tour that can only accommodate so many people AND a portion of it is a special "behind the scenes" tour, then I can see why they would make that stipulation. Also, our school has that rule, because not all parents have been background checked. They can't allow adults without a background check (or that haven't passed the background check) to participate in activities with other children. I can guarantee you that if Suzie's dad the sex offender wanted to tag along because "how dare the school tell him no," you would want that rule in place.

 

[brergnat]

Of course I'd let my child go. I can't even imagine entertaining the idea of FOLLOWING them, though. That takes "helicopter parenting" to a whole new level...

This is a school field trip. They treat it like SCHOOL. They can't just allow random adults to hang around the perimeters during the trip. Too much liability for a potentially dangerous situation. Would you want some kid's estranged step uncle showing up and just hanging around with them (or something along those lines?). They have to control the environment just like it is controlled on school grounds. It's for safety.

When I was in 4th grade, one of our field trips was a trip to New York City to see the circus at Madison Square Garden. I went to school in central NJ, so this was a one hour trip by bus each way. My parents didn't hesitate to sign that permission slip for me and my two sisters, when it was time for them to go on the same trip. AND, this was NYC in the 80's...

 

[Kae]

Yes I would & have let my kid go. I think that as others have said it is a tour so there are people limits. I am sure that did the lottery to make it fair not, to leave parents out.

Kae

 

[shortkathleen]

I have a child in fourth grade as well and there is no way I would let them go without me all day and that far away. I am also a third grade teacher and I can't imagine the school scheduling a field trip like this and being so restrictive on what parents can go. I say follow your gut. I don't think there is anything wrong with being protective of your child.

 

[marlynnp]

Really???
I can't believe all the people that have issues with this. Poor kids.

 

[mom2val]

I also make an effort every year to volunteer at school so that the teachers/staff know me and know I am involved in my kids' lives. I also make an effort to talk with other parents even if I wouldn't let my kid go off with them somewhere just to have that presence in their minds. Are you involved like this or is there time before the trip to get to know some of the chaperones?

Good luck!!

Yes I have been very active as a volunteer. This is only the 2nd year our school has been open but last year I was room mom, PTA board member, ran 2 bookfairs and volunteered 2 days a week in the copy room and library.

 

[kacaju]

yes my child would go.

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

My oldest son's preschool/summer camp program does field trips - he started going on school trips to Liberty Science Center and a few zoos and museums last year at the ripe old age of 5...

I trust the school staff, they are very forthcoming with all their procedures (bathroom breaks, etc.), the kids are constantly supervised, the chaperone/student is ratio is decent, the younger kids are paired up with an older kid, etc.

They are also VERY clear that parents can "tag along" behind the bus but at the field trip site they CANNOT take their own child back home or even to the bathroom without a designated chaperone. And yes, the first time parents hear this you can hear the outraged gasps, from myself included! But the staff calmly showed me the insurance paperwork which explains how this is a liability. If parents aren't comfortable with it, they have the option of not signing the permission slip and not allowing their child to go on the trip.

There are a lot of reasons why they do the trips this way and I'm glad that they treat the trip like a closed bubble - kids and staff stay safe in the bubble with no random strangers or parents who haven't been cleared being allowed to remove anyone from the bubble.

And I'm sure that someone is thinking well, what if there's a medical emergency and my child gets taken to the ER - can I go with them there? There is always a remote chance that something unexpected could happen but for the most part, keeping the trip a "closed loop" makes it easier and safer for everyone as the school staff is accountable for your child while they're on the trip.

So all that to say, sure, I'd let her go.