Would you let your 13yo stay alone at the resort...

[Angel M]

while you go out? We're going to be at Disney on our anniversary and we'd like to go out for the evening. Our younger sons (9 & 10) are going to the Neverland Club, but our oldest son is too old. He could stay in our room and play video games or watch movies.

So, would you or not?

 

[campingcorgi]

Not an answer, just more questions. Do you leave him at home alone at night? If yes, do you have some way to stay in touch with him? Is he responsible and reliable?

Hmmm.....I don't know what I'd do.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

NO. I don't think that 13 is old enough to be left alone at the resort but that is IMHO. One suggestion. I know they don't make exceptions to the under 4 rule at the kids clubs but that is because of state regulations. Is it possible that they might would make the exception for a child one year older. It would not hurt to call and ask.

Jordan's mom

 

[Angel M]

We have just started leaving him alone for short amounts of time, usually 1 to 2 hours. He is very responsible, and we would leave one of our cell phones with him and take the other one. If we do this, we would just hop the monorail over to another hotel for dinner, so it wouldn't be a late night thing.

I just don't know. Thanks

 

[robinb]

I think that even if the kid's clubs made an exception, your son would be bored to tears with all the little kids. If you let him stay at home alone for an hour or two I think he'll be fine alone at WDW while you have dinner. Make sure he understands the ground rules: do not open the door, do not answer the hotel room phone, no not leave the room, etc. Make sure he has enough to eat and drink along with ice so he isn't tempted to go out "for just a minute" for a mug refill or candy bar.

 

[Barb D]

Could you go to a restaurant in YOUR resort? That way if he got really nervous you could be back with him in minutes.

 

[Angel M]

That's a possibility. I appreciate all of the advice, it helps to throw these kind of things out to other parents to see what they would do.

Thanks again,
Angel

 

[crisi]

I think Jordan's Mom and I have polar opposite parenting philosophies.

I kind of figure that at 13, school trips with not enough adult chaperones are just around the corner (I went to Washington DC around that time with my History class - about 20 of us, and two adults - needless to say, we stayed in hotel rooms by ourselves). As are invitations to travel with friends' families where the kids may be expected to deport themselves with some responsibility (I was never lucky enough to have those friends, but my sister was taking ski trips in Colorado with friends around 15). College is closer than diapers (I went to college hundreds of miles away from my parents at 16) and a teenager needs a little more freedom to grow into a responsible adult.

Maybe my parents were overly permissive (though I remember it didn't seem so at the time), but all three daughters turned out ok.

But if you teenager has given you cause to worry (or isn't mature enough) all bets are off. And if you aren't ready yet, you just aren't. There probably isn't anything better or worse about either style - as long as you don't pick an extreme at either end.

 

[WDW2002]

No, I would not. I would rethink your plan and celebrate your anniversary as a family.

 

[Kermit]

I think it depends completely on the child. You should have a cell phone so that he can get in touch with you. If you feel that he understands completely the need to keep the door deadbolted and not let anyone in, even if they say they're with the hotel, he should be fine. I'd probably call him at least once or twice. If you'd do it at home, you should be able to do it at WDW. He's actually a bit safer when it comes to getting himself into trouble since there aren't as many dangerous things in a hotel room.

FYI, I strongly doubt that kids' clubs will make an exception for 13 year old. I've worked in daycare in a few states (though not in Florida), and there are generally very strict rules about the maximum possible difference in ages between the kids. It's probably against the law for them to have 13 year olds in a room with 4 year olds.

 

[Minnie824]

I would say if you've left him alone at home, I think it would be ok. When I was 13 (long ago), my friend and I were allowed to walk around the parks alone for awhile. I would say the cell phone is a good idea, just in case he needs anything. And just make sure he knows to stay in the room and not answer the door. Make sure he's got snacks and stuff to do also. And, if possible, try to go somewhere closer. And have fun.

 

[Bobrow]

I agree,it depends on the child. I have a 13 yr old and would absolutley trust him alone. I would leave him with a cell phone,and go over the rules. We leave him home for a couple hours at a time and occasionally leave him in charge of younger brothers,7 and 11. I used to babysit for people when i was 13. We are also a family who travel with youth sports and my sons are very experienced in hotels and the do's and don't's regarding safety. If you feel your son can handle it, then enjoy your night.

 

[Jen D]

Obviously it depends on the child, but I would. I think for the majority of kids, thirteen is old enough to handle yourself alone for a few hours. Like Bobrow, I was babysitting when I was thirteen.

I guess it comes down to parenting philosphy, but I tend to agree with Crisi. It's probably about time, at 13, to give a kid some independence, if you think he can handle it.

 

[Steffi]

I'm pretty overprotective, but I'd say that 13 is probably old enough to spend a couple of hours alone. Of course, my daughter is only 7...ask me if I still feel the same in 6 more years

 

[wdwnutze]

I would think 13 is old enough to stay alone for a couple of hours if it is something you do at home. The cell phone is a great idea. Maybe you could have your anniversary dinner at the Kona in the Poly since that is where you'll be staying. We make it a point of eating there every trip and have never been disappointed in the food or the service! I'm sure whatever you choose will be right for your ds.

 

[akasleepingbeauty]

During our trip 3 years ago, our 13.5 year old dd wanted to stay in the room and watch the Stanley Cup semi-finals rather than go to Fantasmic with us. We let her stay in the room by herself and she even went to Roaring Forks for some food. She had a cell phone and a walkie talkie to get in touch with us if necessary. I honestly didn't think that much about it at the time as we left her home alone occasionally and she also babysat frequently.

I think 13 is old enough for most kids depending on their personality and level of responsibility. If your ds is okay with it and you feel he can handle the responsiblity then I would do it. Sometimes we need to give our kids a chance to live up to our expectations (as long as we know safety precautions have been provided) and this sounds like a great opportunity.

Have a great anniversary!!

 

[tw1nsmom]

I don't have personal experience parenting teenagers (my children are only 2), but I agree that most 13 year olds should be okay alone for a couple of hours. However, another option might be to hire a babysitter to come to your room for all three of your children. I've read in other posts that sometimes they'll even take the children to the pool or to dinner if you arrange it. Whatever you decide, I hope you have a wonderful anniversary.

 

[Kevs mom]

I think that he will be fine and you should go and have a nice dinner - my son is only 11 and has stayed home occasionally for up to an hour and has shown us how responsible he is with that so I know when he is 13 I would be comfortable going out to dinner for a couple of hours! You know your child and if you feel he will be alright then I saw trust your instinct.

 

[LEXAVE]

I would go over all the "what would you do if.."

We were in Boston when DD was 3 months old and we had my very responsible 16-year-old cousin baby-sit while we went to dinner in the hotel.

Before dessert, the fire alarm went off. Luckily I heard it and ran to the room. My cousin was very upset when I found her in the hallway walking toward the lobby holding the baby.

It was not earth shattering, but something to think about.

Go over different scenarios along with the solutions. Remember it is not like being at home where he is very familiar with his surroundings.

Have a good trip.

 

[Angel M]

Thank you all for your comments, they've helped and given me things to think about. We're going to go for it and make sure we have all of the bases covered. My son is very responsible, I just have to make sure we go over the rules.

Can't wait til we get there!