Would you leave your 12-year old alone in hotel room?

[jodifla]

Because as another poster stated I didn't come her asking for opinions on whether a date night was "appropriate" for a family vacation. That is NOT an opinion on the question I originally asked.

Yes, exactly. Someone has to chime in with the nonsense "why do you need a date night on a family vacation?" every time somebody else brings up getting a sitter or similar subject. For me and my spouse, some alone time is very important on vacation. We work opposite schedules currently and don't get a lot of date time.


With a typical 12-year-old who didn't mind staying alone, I'd have no problem leaving him or her alone with a cell phone and instructions. My 11 year old would not want to stay alone; he'd rather be in a kids' club or have a companion (sitter).

 

[Granny square]

what is this sidetracking you speak of?!
I know only of concise,informed decisions and responses.

Hahahahaha!

I am the queen if side tracks if it will get me out of scrubbing my kitchen floor!

 

[minniebride]

I didn't read the other pages, but I think it depends on the child and on the situation. It sounds like your daughter already has experience being left alone and "in charge."

Personally, I would be comfortable doing it in WDW, but I'm not sure if I would be comfortable doing it outside of WDW where security may not be as tight.

I would rent her a movie, get her a dinner of her choice, and put a "do not disturb" sign on the room door. Go over some basic rules & leave her a cell phone.

For anyone not comfortable doing it, I believe there is a service at WDW where you can hire a WDW babysitter to hang out with her-have dinner with her at the resort food court, watch a movie with her, etc. I believe these CM's are CPR and first aid certified and their rate is $16/hour.

 

[phorsenuf]

Because as another poster stated I didn't come her asking for opinions on whether a date night was "appropriate" for a family vacation. That is NOT an opinion on the question I originally asked.

But that's the nature of a discussion board. Just like in real conversations they take on a different course of direction. Happens all the time.

 

[sissy_ib]

But that's the nature of a discussion board. Just like in real conversations they take on a different course of direction. Happens all the time.

Sure, but the OP is allowed to laugh off that part of the conversation. She wasn't asking about the merits of date night so no need for her to bother with it.

 

[bookgirl]

Depends on the kid.

the Twins are 13. One has no problem staying by himself and the other doesn't even like being at home alone.

They are both old enough to be left on thier own (they would fight if they were together) but one is more than confident enough to handle it than the other.

I might be a little more leary of them wondering the hotel unless I was on site, only because they suck at keeping track of hotel keys (they both have a lot of hotel experience as they've been competing athletically since they were 9). Nothing would be a bigger bother than getting the call that they were locked out while I was at another resort.

So as far as the actual staying alone safety issue goes I'd say you're fine as long as you think she can handle it.

 

[pacrosby]

You are right. Your daughter is your child and you alone are responsible for decisions regarding her.

I guess I'll never understand why people asks questions and then LTAO at anyone who gives them an opinion that differs from what they want to do. I'm thinking if you're asking a question, you are undecided and wish to hear both sides.

Hmmm...I guess I'll never understand why people who give an opinion feel like the OP doesn't have the right to give an opinion on their opinion. Most times opinions are based on a few facts, and a great many assumptions. Sometimes people who give those opinions should know when they are way off base.

ETA: I remember asking a WWYD many moons ago and was skewered by countless folks who didn't even know what they were talking about. And when I would come back and try to correct them so they could give an informed opinion, their response was much the same as yours (although many not nearly as polite lol ). I've come to the conclusion that many people really don't post because they want to help. They just want to hear themselves talk (so to speak).

 

[Nature Mom]

Leaving any child alone always depends on the child in question, but if your DD is old enough and responsible enough to babysit her younger siblings, she will be fine for a few hours alone at the resort. On our trip in September, part of the reason we were in WDW was for my work and my DD12 had the choice of hanging with my co-workers families, whom she did not know, or stay alone at the resort for a while. She chose to stay alone at the resort. I put some rules in place (no pool!) and we worked out several emergency plans if needed, but she did great and said it was one of her favorite days. She got to get what she wanted from CS to eat, she shopped around the store a little, walked around and took pictures and returned to the room to watch tv until I returned. She was instructed to text me if she left the room and again when she got to where she was going, and she did fine. I'm sure your DD will do great, and she will probably be thankful for the period of downtime.

 

[LisaInNc]

I would let her stay alone in the room with strict instructions about not opening the door etc.

Since my DD was 10 we have been putting her to bed and then going to sit at the pool and have a glass of wine. She was left with a cell phone and could call us if needed. She gets the extra sleep she needs and we get a little alone time.

This thread made me remember something that happened to my little sister. She was 13 watching my 1 year old daughter in a hotel room while I was teaching a class in the convention center attached to the hotel. The fire alarm went off. It was a huge hotel so what was going on in the hotel did not affect the convention center where I was. My cell phone was off because I was teaching. I had no idea what was going on.

My sister knew exactly what to do. She had been through enough fire drills at school. She carried my daughter down the stairs to the lobby until they cleared the problem.

Lots of kids can handle themselves. We teach them well.

Lisa

 

[sam_gordon]

You are right. Your daughter is your child and you alone are responsible for decisions regarding her.

I guess I'll never understand why people asks questions and then LTAO at anyone who gives them an opinion that differs from what they want to do. I'm thinking if you're asking a question, you are undecided and wish to hear both sides.

Sorry, "LTAO"?

 

[bookgirl]

Sorry, "LTAO"?

Laughing
Thier
A
Off

instead of

Laughing
My
A
Off

 

[Liberty Belle]

I think she would be fine, however, I'd dine at your own resort's restaurant, just to feel a little more at ease, so you're able to enjoy your date and not worry. This is, of course, only if the 12 year old says she feels comfortable staying by herself. If not, I would skip the date.

 

[Lionqueen2]

We are booking our trip for WDW next July and we are in a bit of a dilemna. My husband and I always do a "date night" while there and we send our kids to the Neverland Club. This trip, however, our oldest will be 12 and so she is too old to go, I believe. We will be staying at the Poly...wondering if you would leave your 12 year old in the room for a couple of hours while we send the 9yo twins to the Neverland Club??? (The 1yo, FYI, will be staying home with her grandparents).

DD is currently in the 6th grade and she does babysit her younger sisters for short amounts of time already (up to 2 hours) so she is definitely responsible, I am just not sure how appropriate it would be. We would leave her with my cell phone so she could reach us at any time on my husband's phone. And we would be dining at a resort restaurant which we would drive to in our car so we could get back to her fairly quickly if need be.

What would you do?

I would certainly not do this with my children or my grandchildren and not because I didn't trust them or feel they weren't capable. I simply would not feel comfortable doing this in any resort where I didn't know the people, however, everyone is different and entitled to make whatever decisions they wish with their own children.

 

[deserrai]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. You know your child and whether she is capable of handling it.

 

[luvmy3]

It would really depend on the child. When my dd was 12 she would have been fine alone in a hotel room for a couple hours. OTOH, there is no way in heck I would leave my ds (currently 12) alone in that situation.
Truth is, it would be me who wouldn't be comfortable doing it at all, no matter how the individual child is, so I guess to really answer your question OP, no I wouldn't leave my 12 year old alone in the room.

 

[bdcp]

The first thing I'd do is check FL law and see if there is anything about the age a child can legally be left alone.

Then, I would make the decision based on my child, not just her age.

It may be Disney but it's still a hotel and things happen, even in WDW. I agree with eating in a restaurant in the same resort and not going off anywhere else.

We raised two boys and we never left them to go on a "date" night while on vacation. It was our family vacation and we did everything as a family. We did date nights at home.

 

[bookgirl]

I enjoyed every single second that I was given away from my folks and my brother on a family vacation. I didn't want to spend it completely away from them but even back then I realized that we all enjoyed different things.

 

[Granny square]

I enjoyed every single second that I was given away from my folks and my brother on a family vacation. I didn't want to spend it completely away from them but even back then I realized that we all enjoyed different things.

Our family is together a lot and we take several vacations a year together. I don't have any problem letting the older kids do older kid stuff while I took the youngest to bear in the big blue house. it was that understanding that everyone is different. It is silly to make one kid sit on a bench while the others have fun.

My mom has travelled a lot with us, so when they were little they got wonderful grandma time. It was was a win-win-win situation.

 

[LisaInNc]

Thinking about it my 12 year old would be comfortable going into the parks with out me. She has been 18 times and knows the MK better than our new neighborhood.

Thinking hard about that I would let her.

I am letting her fly by herself to Orlando Spring Break to see her cousins. I have complete confidence that she can handle the airport.

I guess it's just dependent on the kid.

Lisa

 

[horseshowmom]

The first thing I'd do is check FL law and see if there is anything about the age a child can legally be left alone.

Then, I would make the decision based on my child, not just her age.

It may be Disney but it's still a hotel and things happen, even in WDW. I agree with eating in a restaurant in the same resort and not going off anywhere else.

We raised two boys and we never left them to go on a "date" night while on vacation. It was our family vacation and we did everything as a family. We did date nights at home.

My post (#35) addressed this. No set age but does mention the age of 12 as recommended by the National SAFE KIDSCampaign.

http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/childwelfare/caregivers/whentoleaveyourkidshomealone.shtml

IMHO, if the poster wants to have a date night, I don't see the big deal. It's a vacation, enjoy yourself. I just don't see why the parents wanting to be alone for a couple of hours is so odd. Our daughter was always an important part of our vacation, but she wasn't the sole focus. Sometimes we made plans to do things on our own, sometimes we didn't.

Many years ago, when Disney MGM first opened, we actually carried our neice with us to babysit while we went and spent the WHOLE day there by ourselves. We had a wonderful time! And our daughter had a wonderful time the rest of the vacation.