Would you have a problem with this fundraiser?

[disney4us2002]

What? The majority of international adoptions take much longer than the US where one could have a healthy baby in their arms within a week!

I'm sorry but that is just plain wrong! I work for a public welfare agency and I personally know people who have been waiting for a US infant for more than 3 yrs. Perhaps private adoptions are occuring at some ridiculously fast rate but the fact is that there aren't that many babies placed for adoption in the US. Teens and other women experiencing unplanned pg's generally abort or keep their babies. Adoption is not well-received as a viable option. I wish that weren't the case but it's just true. Every child deserves a loving family and I don't begrudge anyone that but it saddens me that there are lots and lots of kids here in the US that aren't being adopted because they are not cute little babies.

www.adoptuskids.org

 

[FroggyinArk]

ok people would you please take a look at what you are posting? Thiscouple is trying to rescue a child from a very bleak existance,, look it up folks these kids in these forgien orphanages are not coming from some nice sweet loving home. Yes i agree that the fundraisor idea is a little over the top. I do not think a public fundraisor is the way to go in this situation, but if it was to be amongst family andfriends, then i could see attending. i dont htink the op is planing to invite thirty strangers to a 1000 dollar a plate fried chicken dinner.. ( shes a mom to be not a politician) i think everyone here would agree that taking any child out of a bad situation is aklways an improvement. i salute any couple willing and able to go this route. as to "affording" to adopt a child, how many of the ones who posted here derogitorrily know for fact that they came about by means of a perfectly timed planned outy pregnacy? i did not. i was several years ahead of what mom and dad had planned. and geuss what,, i am raising an adopted daughter, and have helped raise at least for aw hile 5 other daughters that i love and care for as much as if they were mine.. and ya know.. when i met dw i wasnt wanting an 18 mth old brat.. but 12 yrs later she is my baby, i love her and she carries my name thanks to an adoption i could not afford at the time. look at your selfs gang.. look at what hte world has became.. stand up for these kids that aer finding homes and families because of the people like op that are willing to take them in and offer them the kind of life we have came to "expect" or "deserve"



look inside gang.. its not about how many babys are killed because of this adooption, its not about how can we afford the kid later, its about how many people are willing to open thier homes thier lives to a child that may other wise never know love, affection, comfort??

 

[va32h]

Many posters are viewing this as a fundraiser for my "infertility" whereas my family views this as a fundraiser to save my daughter from a what otherwise would be a death sentence. I view this as more about my daughter and less about me. I guess most others do not... and that is ok. It's your opinion and that's what I asked for.

The problem with this argument, for me, is that there are many children, in many countries, who live in horrible circumstances. Your adoption would save one child, there would still be other children, probably in that same orphanage, under that death sentence.

If my choice were to donate to the cause of one family adopting one child versus donating to an organization or an orphanage that assisted several children, I would be more likely to put my funds where they would seem to do the most good.

I don't know how the particular costs of an adoption are allocated, but if some of the $30K you must spend goes toward the orphanage itself, perhaps a fundraiser for the orphanage would go over better than a fundraiser for the adoption.

 

[Sandy22]

Bottom line... this is my child. I will do whatever it takes to bring her home.

I totally get this! I can have bio children (already do) but I just KNEW that my daughter was born to another woman and that I had to go get her - no matter the obstacles or cost. I didn't choose to adopt - it chose me.

 

[huey duey & luey]

http://thyroid.about.com/library/weekly/aa050199.htm

yes infertility can be a disease, maybe not life threatening, but still a disease non the less

 

[poohandwendy]

Coming in late on this one. I would not be comfortable with being 'invited' to help someone adopt. I think it places your friends and family members in a very uncomfortable position.

I think it is wonderful that you are choosing to adopt and I wish you well. But, it sounds like you do have the means (via refinancing, etc), I would avoid the hard feelings that could come from this and go those routes. Anyone who really wants to help you financially will do so without prodding.

 

[kdibattista]

Can we just end it with this

Making a Difference

A well known author was vacationing on a beautiful coast. One morning, very early, he was walking along the beach.

In the distance he saw a lone figure dancing. Fascinated by this celebration of the dawn, he moved closer.

It was then he realized that the young man was not dancing, but was picking objects up from the beach and tossing them out into the sea with a graceful movement.

As he approached the young man, he saw that he was throwing starfish. "Why in the world are you throwing starfish into the water?" he asked.

"If the starfish are still on the beach when the tide goes out and the sun rises higher in the sky, they will die," replied the young man as he continued tossing them out to sea.

"That's ridiculous! There are thousands of miles of beach and millions of starfish. You can't really believe that what you're doing could possibly make a difference?" the observer countered.

The young man picked up another star fish, paused thoughtfully and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, "It makes a difference to this one."

 

[palmtreegirl]

Just an idea......

How about asking friends and family to donate items for you to in turn sell? Things that they no longer want/need, then you could sell them in a yard sale or Ebay for money towards the adoption.

 

[BuckNaked]

Can we just end it with this

Making a Difference

A well known author was vacationing on a beautiful coast. One morning, very early, he was walking along the beach.

In the distance he saw a lone figure dancing. Fascinated by this celebration of the dawn, he moved closer.

It was then he realized that the young man was not dancing, but was picking objects up from the beach and tossing them out into the sea with a graceful movement.

As he approached the young man, he saw that he was throwing starfish. "Why in the world are you throwing starfish into the water?" he asked.

"If the starfish are still on the beach when the tide goes out and the sun rises higher in the sky, they will die," replied the young man as he continued tossing them out to sea.

"That's ridiculous! There are thousands of miles of beach and millions of starfish. You can't really believe that what you're doing could possibly make a difference?" the observer countered.

The young man picked up another star fish, paused thoughtfully and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, "It makes a difference to this one."

Very nice. Now, give the guy $30,000 to hire people to help him, and even more starfish are saved...

 

[kdibattista]

Very nice. Now, give the guy $30,000 to hire people to help him, and even more starfish are saved...

I'm speechless

 

[FroggyinArk]

Can we just end it with this

Making a Difference

A well known author was vacationing on a beautiful coast. One morning, very early, he was walking along the beach.

In the distance he saw a lone figure dancing. Fascinated by this celebration of the dawn, he moved closer.

It was then he realized that the young man was not dancing, but was picking objects up from the beach and tossing them out into the sea with a graceful movement.

As he approached the young man, he saw that he was throwing starfish. "Why in the world are you throwing starfish into the water?" he asked.

"If the starfish are still on the beach when the tide goes out and the sun rises higher in the sky, they will die," replied the young man as he continued tossing them out to sea.

"That's ridiculous! There are thousands of miles of beach and millions of starfish. You can't really believe that what you're doing could possibly make a difference?" the observer countered.

The young man picked up another star fish, paused thoughtfully and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, "It makes a difference to this one."

god bless ya kim in your efforts to save this one starfish you have cacme upon, and to all the others like you.

 

[Sandy22]

I'm sorry but that is just plain wrong! I work for a public welfare agency and I personally know people who have been waiting for a US infant for more than 3 yrs. Perhaps private adoptions are occuring at some ridiculously fast rate but the fact is that there aren't that many babies placed for adoption in the US. Teens and other women experiencing unplanned pg's generally abort or keep their babies. Adoption is not well-received as a viable option. I wish that weren't the case but it's just true. Every child deserves a loving family and I don't begrudge anyone that but it saddens me that there are lots and lots of kids here in the US that aren't being adopted because they are not cute little babies.

Sorry - but you are plain wrong! Let's face it...when you say there are no cute little babies...what you really mean is that there are no WHITE babies! I'm not sure if you're trying to be offensive...

LET ME BE CLEAR - YOU CAN ADOPT AN AA BABY WITH NO WAITING TIME. Maybe if those people you know would have been a little more open-minded about the color of their family, they could have started their family 3 years ago.

Adopting older children is a whole other ball game. Adoption of older kids (5+) is not that common in international adoption either. The blame for all the older kids available for domestic adoption shouldn't be placed with people adopting internationally - it should go to the judicial and social systems that consistently fail the children. Kids shouldn't spend years in foster care before the parental rights are terminated.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm sorry but that is just plain wrong! I work for a public welfare agency and I personally know people who have been waiting for a US infant for more than 3 yrs. Perhaps private adoptions are occuring at some ridiculously fast rate but the fact is that there aren't that many babies placed for adoption in the US. Teens and other women experiencing unplanned pg's generally abort or keep their babies. Adoption is not well-received as a viable option. I wish that weren't the case but it's just true. Every child deserves a loving family and I don't begrudge anyone that but it saddens me that there are lots and lots of kids here in the US that aren't being adopted because they are not cute little babies.

www.adoptuskids.org

--------------------------------------------------

I think you've just opened up a big can of worms here, but it's true.. My cousin and her husband fostered children for many, many years.. At one point they had the opportunity to adopt an infant that they had with them for 3 or 4 years but at the last minute, it fell apart.. Eventually they were able to adopt a son and continued to foster older children until my cousins DH died quite unexpectedly about a year and a half ago.. Had he lived, I'm sure they would have adopted more older children over the course of time..

While I realize that everyone wants a "baby" - and it's certainly their choice to want an "infant" - it's not really fair to say that saving a child from another country is any more important than saving a child who might be a bit older but is right here in your own country..

 

[kdibattista]

god bless ya kim in your efforts to save this one starfish you have cacme upon, and to all the others like you.

Thanks Froggy... your words mean to me right now than you can possibly imagine

 

[poohandwendy]

While I realize that everyone wants a "baby" - and it's certainly their choice to want an "infant" - it's not really fair to say that saving a child from another country is any more important than saving a child who might be a bit older but is right here in your own country..

I totally agree.

 

[BuckNaked]

I'm speechless

Why? It's simply a fact that the $30,000 you'll be spending could help many more children than the one you'll be getting. I'm not saying that you're under ANY obligation to do that - you want a baby, you're willing to pay whatever it costs to get one, and that's great. I was using your little starfish story to illustrate what others have been saying, i.e., that there is nothing at all wrong with preferring to donate to causes that help many children rather than dontating to a cause that will only save one.

 

[hentob]

As many of you know DH and I are in the process of adopting a baby girl. The total cost will be around $30,000. We are saving money by working extra shifts, cutting back, etc. We will probably also refinance or take a HELOC.
.

Can you refinance or take out a loan for the entire amount?

I would definitely attend one of these events for a true friend of mine. Heck, I would take out a loan for her. And there would be no strings attached.

But, as someone posted before, once you open these things up to the public, people become freaky. Some _will_ feel like they own a part of your child. Sick, but true. I just picture little old ladies wrestling the baby from your hands just to hold her and throwing a fit when you don't oblige.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Sandy22]

... it's not really fair to say that saving a child from another country is any more important than saving a child who might be a bit older but is right here in your own country

That's right. ALL CHILDREN HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS TO A FAMIILY - regardless of where they live, their color, or their nationality.

The Ethiopian/Chinese/Russian/Haitian/Korean child has just as much right to be adopted by Americans as does the American child. Glad we agree.

 

[huey duey & luey]

Very nice. Now, give the guy $30,000 to hire people to help him, and even more starfish are saved...

I think that, that is probably the most insensitive thing I have ever read.

 

[disney4us2002]

Sorry - but you are plain wrong! Let's face it...when you say there are no cute little babies...what you really mean is that there are no WHITE babies! I'm not sure if you're trying to be offensive...

LET ME BE CLEAR - YOU CAN ADOPT AN AA BABY WITH NO WAITING TIME. Maybe if those people you know would have been a little more open-minded about the color of their family, they could have started their family 3 years ago.

I would really like to know where you're getting these "facts" - aside from being wrong and offensive (why is it any more PC to choose the country than the race of an adopted child?). I saw the statistics for MD adoptions just last week. In the three So. Md counties I work with there were only 27 public agency adoptions in 2005 and of those only 3 were for children under age 1 - regardless of race. One of the couples I mentioned are actually an AA couple. The reason for the wait is that they only want to consider "legally free" children under age 2 for fear of a disrupted adoption. That is actually uncommon with public agencies. If you know where they can adopt w/o a wait, please post the agency or pm the name and I will pass it on to them.