Would you have a problem with this fundraiser?

[Micheme]

And you are assuming that people making the comments haven't been through it, we have. The cost of IF treatment is quite high, but no way would I ever ask anybody other than family to help us out, if we were to ask for any help at all.

We know the feeling alright, 8 years and counting with nothing but the same negative result.

As stated above, i made no assumptions.

I am so sorry about your continuing struggle

 

[BuckNaked]

------------------------

Sure you do.. You must have a great sense of humor - even if it does appear to be warped at times.. I guess I'm just reading you all wrong..............

Yep, seems like you are. That's OK, it happens to the best of us...

 

[Amlee]

And you know that how?

I did not bother reading past the first few post on this board as I could tell I wouldn't agree with alot that was said. The ONE post that I did quote is the one I'm refering to in my comments. Any one with ANY experiance with children should know that the examples given are accumulated over time.

It's easy for you to assume that all that posted have experiance on this subject, just as easy as it is for me to assume that they haven't.

 

[Micheme]

I wasn't refering to your comments. But about the insensitive comments- it's been on both sides. There's been some pretty nasty things said outright and insinuated against those who don't agree with the OP.

Sorry Jenn i thought your were commenting on my post.

 

[cardaway]

At this point, wouldn't it be more productive to try to come up with suggestions of how she and her DH could come up with additional funds - just the same as people who come on here and ask, "How can I make extra money for a trip to Disney?" - rather than rehashing all of the ugly points that have already been discussed over and over and over again?

How about opening a paypal account and asking for donations. Seriously.

It's been done here before and maybe the people who have defended her would be willing to donate.

 

[C.Ann]

How about opening a paypal account and asking for donations. Seriously.

It's been done here before and maybe the people who have defended her would be willing to donate.

-------------------

Maybe they would - I don't know..

But I'm sure that creative suggestions would be much appreciated and a lot more helpful and productive than much of what has been posted here..

 

[02bBarbie]

Unless I missed something, and after 19 pages I'm sure there's a chance I may have, did the OP ever say she was adopting because she was infertile? I think a common thing to do is automatically assume that people go the adoption route because they're infertility however I know that's not always true.

 

[cardaway]

It's easy for you to assume that all that posted have experiance on this subject, just as easy as it is for me to assume that they haven't.

The only times I've seen anybody make statements about what people haven't, or are not going through, is when somebody wants to invalidate the comments of others. Not surprising, it's always on the list of things you do to knock people down when everything else fails.

Back it up, show me where anybody saying the OP had a bad idea did anything like what you described.

 

[C.Ann]

Yep, seems like you are. That's OK, it happens to the best of us...

-------------------------

Good to know I'm one of the "best"...

 

[BuckNaked]

-------------------------

Good to know I'm one of the "best"...

 

[kdibattista]

I think the OP has gotten the message loud and clear that the initial idea was not a good one.. She asked for opinions - got them - and is now attempting to find other more appropriate ways of funding this adoption..

At this point, wouldn't it be more productive to try to come up with suggestions of how she and her DH could come up with additional funds - just the same as people who come on here and ask, "How can I make extra money for a trip to Disney?" - rather than rehashing all of the ugly points that have already been discussed over and over and over again?

If not, perhaps the OP should start a new thread - asking for those types of ideas only.. Staying here will only result in further criticism at this point..

I have gotten the message loud and clear (no sarcasm intended). Let's try to redirect his as C. Ann has suggested. Here is our situation all out on the table:

We need to come up with approximately $30,000 more to finalize the adoption over the next 10 months or so. I have taken on several extra shifts and DH has been doing catering on the side for extra money. I have recently sold my diamond anniversary ring to fund our homestudy. We have done the garage sales. We have a substantial retirement account but because DH works for the government, we cannot "borrow" from it. However, we would be able to withdrawal for a hardship but this is not considered a hardship. We have cut out all "extras". Heck, with us working so much we really don't have time for them. DH has also considered selling his truck for a much smaller hoopde just to get by. Did I just say hoopde

We will probably end up refinancing to pull out money but we are concerned because I recently had a career change and as such, most banks I have talked to want 2 years worth of bank statements to verify income for my new job because "technically" I would be considered self employed. So we are a little nervous that it might not work out for awhile.

Again, I do appreciate all the responses... I just wish this had not gotten so out of hand.

Many of you may not consider this my child, but I do and I will do whatever it takes to bring her home. I'm not looking to be canonized or get over on someone. I'm doing this to save a child, my daughter. You may not understand and you might not respect it but please don't judge me because of it.

So, I'm open for any and all suggestions (within reason )

 

[Amlee]

The only times I've seen anybody make statements about what people haven't, or are not going through, is when somebody wants to invalidate the comments of others. Not surprising, it's always on the list of things you do to knock people down when everything else fails.

Wow! LMAO! I do believe you have me confused with someone else on here. This is my first time to venture in to such a thread on this board.

Back it up, show me where anybody saying the OP had a bad idea did anything like what you described.

Hmmm I do believe I have quoted it all ready. Since you know me so well go find it yourself.

 

[C.Ann]

--------------------------------------------------

- and I'll raise you one!

 

[Amlee]

We need to come up with approximately $30,000 more to finalize the adoption over the next 10 months or so. I have taken on several extra shifts and DH has been doing catering on the side for extra money. I have recently sold my diamond anniversary ring to fund our homestudy. We have done the garage sales. We have a substantial retirement account but because DH works for the government, we cannot "borrow" from it. However, we would be able to withdrawal for a hardship but this is not considered a hardship. We have cut out all "extras". Heck, with us working so much we really don't have time for them. DH has also considered selling his truck for a much smaller hoopde just to get by. Did I just say hoopde

We will probably end up refinancing to pull out money but we are concerned because I recently had a career change and as such, most banks I have talked to want 2 years worth of bank statements to verify income for my new job because "technically" I would be considered self employed. So we are a little nervous that it might not work out for awhile.

Again, I do appreciate all the responses... I just wish this had not gotten so out of hand.

Many of you may not consider this my child, but I do and I will do whatever it takes to bring her home. I'm not looking to be canonized or get over on someone. I'm doing this to save a child, my daughter. You may not understand and you might not respect it but please don't judge me because of it.

So, I'm open for any and all suggestions (within reason )

Good luck with all of this. One thing a family did here was get with a local church and have a chile supper. My understanding is that is that they had a great turn out.

 

[Hannathy]

So you wait 2 years many of us have waited longer and that will be 2 years worth of savings less you'll have to finance.

 

[Sandy22]

I don't have a problem with anybody adopting Internationally. But it has been freely admitted here that a good portion of the money spent goes NOT toward the children or the orphanages, but toward bribes of Public Officials, paperwork, and other Admninistrative costs.

I want to clarify that one person wrote that this was their experience with adoption. The vast majority of international adoptions involve no bribing and most of the money does go to the care of the children. In fact, instances of bribing and baby buying are exactly what shuts down countries to adoption...for example Cambodia.

 

[mickeyfan2]

We need to come up with approximately $30,000 more to finalize the adoption over the next 10 months or so. I have taken on several extra shifts and DH has been doing catering on the side for extra money. I have recently sold my diamond anniversary ring to fund our homestudy. We have done the garage sales. We have a substantial retirement account but because DH works for the government, we cannot "borrow" from it. However, we would be able to withdrawal for a hardship but this is not considered a hardship. We have cut out all "extras". Heck, with us working so much we really don't have time for them. DH has also considered selling his truck for a much smaller hoopde just to get by. Did I just say hoopde

We will probably end up refinancing to pull out money but we are concerned because I recently had a career change and as such, most banks I have talked to want 2 years worth of bank statements to verify income for my new job because "technically" I would be considered self employed. So we are a little nervous that it might not work out for awhile.

Since you have done the garage sale and are working more that is about all you can do to get the extra money, short of what you suggested in the original post. Have you tried for the refi yet? I would do that ASAP to make sure you get the money. What if you are turned down, what will you do? Could you borrow from a family member? Could the adoption fall through? Would you consider delaying your adoption and let somebody else adopt this daughter and you adopt another girl when you could get the loam or have 30K saved up. I know this IS your daughter, but what if it is not ment to be.

With the couple who adopted from Korea, they had a daughter with photos and then Lithuania closed down all adoptions. They were heartbroken and the nursery door was kept shut. When they got their daughter I told them that they had to wait a little longer for the child that G-d actually wanted them to adopt not the one they felt they wanted to adopt. Does that make sense? Maybe the money problem is G-d's way of tell you the daughter that he wants you to raise has not entered the world yet so you need to wait a little longer.

This post makes me more concerned than at anyother time that you may not be able to get the additional 30K that you need in the next 10 months.

 

[Caradana]

I'd absolutely attend a fundraiser for this. I can't say it's the most tasteful idea I've ever heard, but the heart is clearly in the right place.

 

[mickeyboat]

There is probably not only one way to raise this amount of money. But maybe a combination of things could get you closer.

Do you typically get a tax refund? If so, put this year's refund in the adoption fund. Then change your withholding on your W-4 to get more take home pay for your fund. Just make sure your withholding is enough to cover your estimated tax burden for the year. If you think you will be eligible for the adoption tax credit in 2006, you might be able to figure that in when you determine how much to withhold. I would recommend consulting your tax advisor to see how this might work for you.

Another recommendation would be to take a small amount from each check and deposit it into a savings account. I do this with my kids' college fund. It adds up fast, and I don't really miss it.

How about saving spare change, applying for rebates, or clipping coupons - putting all the proceeds into your fund.

Good luck.

Denae

 

[barkley]

I have gotten the message loud and clear (no sarcasm intended). Let's try to redirect his as C. Ann has suggested. Here is our situation all out on the table:

We need to come up with approximately $30,000 more to finalize the adoption over the next 10 months or so. I have taken on several extra shifts and DH has been doing catering on the side for extra money. I have recently sold my diamond anniversary ring to fund our homestudy. We have done the garage sales. We have a substantial retirement account but because DH works for the government, we cannot "borrow" from it. However, we would be able to withdrawal for a hardship but this is not considered a hardship. We have cut out all "extras". Heck, with us working so much we really don't have time for them. DH has also considered selling his truck for a much smaller hoopde just to get by. Did I just say hoopde

We will probably end up refinancing to pull out money but we are concerned because I recently had a career change and as such, most banks I have talked to want 2 years worth of bank statements to verify income for my new job because "technically" I would be considered self employed. So we are a little nervous that it might not work out for awhile.

Again, I do appreciate all the responses... I just wish this had not gotten so out of hand.

Many of you may not consider this my child, but I do and I will do whatever it takes to bring her home. I'm not looking to be canonized or get over on someone. I'm doing this to save a child, my daughter. You may not understand and you might not respect it but please don't judge me because of it.

So, I'm open for any and all suggestions (within reason )

check with any government affiliated credit union he might have membership available to (dh is gov/i'm retired gov)-they will generaly be more lenient with a re-fi or home equity loan because they can look at his government time (and also they can have payroll pull the payments straight from the check). also-depending on the branch of gov. some active employees can draw a loan from their regular retirement (not the deferred comp type). also some gov employees who are also union may have loan programs available through their union affiliates (who may also be more understanding of the work history-they may look at your overall work history vs. your current job).

you said he caters on the side-then i'm assuming he's a good cook. a friend (also gov) made some good extra money for her church by doing a once or twice a month "lunch order"-they would take orders from co-workers for a specific day and a set "entire lunch menu" (it would alternate between chicken, ribs or fried catfish with beans, a veggie, roll and some type of homemade pie or cake)-the food was delivered to each person's work unit (and she made the bulk of the food the weekend before and only had to take a few hours of vacation or cto time off the day of delivery for heating and packaging). she sold around 100 per time with a profit of about several hundred dollars. she also offered to cater some of the staff events in our building (employee sponsored so there was no gov. contract issue) instead of everyone doing pot-luck. she picked up several outside jobs via people trying her food this way.

not sure what your area is like, but one area of "extra earnings" that is becoming popular out our way is to get your notary and make yourself available nights and weekends to mortgage companies. there is also a premium paid to notaries in our area who are will to go to someone in need of their services (like seniors who have difficulty in traveling).