Would you go out & buy the Christmas gift....

[MELSMICE]

Last year after asking for Christmas gift ideas from 2 of my nieces & not getting them I ended up getting them each a Vera Bradley tote bag. They were both 13 - 8th grade. I have 3 daughters & work with all girls at my dance studio so I know how popular they've become.

Christmas comes, my nieces open the gifts & say thank you. A few hours later one of my nieces said, "Aunt Mel, I actually don't like Vera Bradley & I don't like this bag." Oh............OK! I was kind of shocked, then then figured I'll give her some credit for being honest. I asked what stores she liked & I would get a gift card to it. (I still think it was somewhat rude, but.........)

I took the bag back & got a gift card for her. I still have the bag because I figured I can always give it to someone as a gift or use it myself eventually.

So, this year I ask for Christmas ideas & this niece has a Vera Bradley backpack on it, picture & all! I was kind of shocked.

So.......do I get the backpack as a gift? I love Vera Bradley & love to give it, but my gut says not to do get it - then again, she's only 14 - although at 14 she should have better manners, right? She does have other items on her list too.

 

[SnowWtch]

Does she even know the backpack is Vera Bradley? Besides, the prints I've seen would be better on backpacks and not purses. You can always mention that you thought she didn't like Vera Bradley and see what response you get.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Hmmm--hard to say. Maybe she feels close enough to you she felt she could be honest and she knew the bag was likely pretty pricey and thought you would be able to return it and get your money back rather than "Waste" it on a bag she did not care for. I know my DD would not feel she could say that to her aunts, but would feel like she could to her grandmother. My own DD (turing 13 the day after Christmas) would feel terrible about someoene wasting that much money and would say something (as politely as possible under teh circumstances) to someone close not to be rude but because she would sincerely hope the person could get their money back (BTW she has never cared for Vera Bradley so not every tween does--though it sounds like your niece is "growing into" them).

 

[laurie31]

Nope, I wouldn't buy it. Not after the rudeness of last year. I don't see why she couldn't have exchanged the bag herself if she didn't like it.

 

[lovetoscrap]

I'd get her a gift certificate to the same place as last year!

 

[glitterkittyy]

I'm the type where I'd rather they tell me that they don't like a gift instead of pretend to like it and never use it. So I would have been fine with her honesty. I don't think she even said it in a rude way. For a 13-year old, that was pretty good. lol

If you're worried that she won't like the backpack after you buy it, just get her another gift from her list.

 

[mjkacmom]

I wouldn't be upset that she told you - it sounds like she did it in a nice way. I think a bag or backpack is a personal item, like art, and I would not buy it for others. I'd get her a gc.

 

[KAMLEM]

I have two teens, and this does not surprise me at all. The year before last I wanted to get my girls Ugg boots but they both said they hated them and they would never wear them. The next Christmas they were the top item on each girls' list. Girls change their minds pretty quickly based on what's popular at the time.

 

[DizBelle]

I have two teens, and this does not surprise me at all. The year before last I wanted to get my girls Ugg boots but they both said they hated them and they would never wear them. The next Christmas they were the top item on each girls' list. Girls change their minds pretty quickly based on what's popular at the time.

I agree. I think her taste just changed from last year at age 13 to this year at age 14. Can't you say that there are things you HATED at age 13 that you like now? People's taste changes.

If she said she wanted the backpack and I was ok with getting it for her, I'd get it for her.

 

[MELSMICE]

Thanks for the opinions. Part of me says get the backpack & part of me says no. I guess the part of me that is saying "no" is just being stubborn. Terrible, I know!

I'm still undecided & might just get some of the other things off the list.

I definitely understand that tastes change & girls change their minds - I have 3 of my own! Been there, done that!

 

[golfgal]

I'm the type where I'd rather they tell me that they don't like a gift instead of pretend to like it and never use it. So I would have been fine with her honesty. I don't think she even said it in a rude way. For a 13-year old, that was pretty good. lol

If you're worried that she won't like the backpack after you buy it, just get her another gift from her list.

I agree-when my DD was 13 she wouldn't have cared if it was Vera Bradly or Walmart, now at 14, she is asking for a Coach purse for Christmas. I would get it for her since she has complied with your request to send a list of what she wants this year and I would be happy that she was honest about an expensive gift she didn't like.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I don't know if I'd be angry about that because the kid is only a kid AND it is an expensive gift AND the gift is so very personal. If it was me I would suck it up and stick the bag in the back of my closet if it was an inexpensive gift, but I would have pangs of guilt doing that to a brand purse especially if I knew the giver was a huge fan and would enjoy it herself, KWIM. So as long as the child was respectful when she said no thank you, I would act as if nothing happened at all.

 

[DVCLiz]

I'd say it depends on what message you want to send.

If you want to make a point about last year's return being on this year's list, ignore the Vera Bradley suggestion and buy something else from the list. You can either say nothing about it or point out that you bought Vera Bradley last year and it was returned, so you were unwilling to buy it again this year.

If you are simply buying because she is your niece and you love her and want her to have a happy Christmas, buy her the Vera bag and know that in a year she has changed her mind about fashion. Say nothing and if she brings it up just laugh and say, "I'm a girl and I have 3 daughters - it's our perrogative to change our minds!" Make it a joke.

In the firsrt scenario, you'll get across the message that you were really offended by her behavior last year and you want to dwell on it a year later. In the second, you'll send the message that you don't hold a grudge about something like a Christmas gift to your niece, and you really do pay attention to what she tells you when you ask for gift suggestions.

Your call...

 

[luvmy3]

I'm the type where I'd rather they tell me that they don't like a gift instead of pretend to like it and never use it. So I would have been fine with her honesty. I don't think she even said it in a rude way. For a 13-year old, that was pretty good. lol

ITA. I hope my nieces feel comfortable enough to be honest about their gift. If she is telling you thats what she wants then I wouldn't hesitate to get it for her. I don't see a reason to hold her behavior from the previous Christmas against her

 

[mumom95]

I'm a 36 year old women, and I used to hate Vera Bradely bags when they first came out, now I own 5 of them. They just grew on me after a while. Maybe your neice simply has changed her opinion of them.

If you asked for a list, and the bag is what she wants and it's within your price range, then I would get it for her.