Would you do Disney with another family?

[3DisneyBuggs]

My DH was asking my SIL to go to WDW the same time we were. I didn't make an issue but was hoping they wouldn't want to go. She found out we're staying onsite instead of the timeshare so I'm sure they won't be going. But I have this feeling that I just want WDW to be with my family. IS it selfish to want to keep our Disney trip to ourselves? We have gone twice with my parents and it was a nice time. This trip will be just us and I want to keep it that way.

 

[ItGirl753]

I understand your need to have it be only your family and a special time for you. If they do come, will you be sharing a suite or in separate rooms? Maybe you could separate during the day and do your own things and set times to meet so you could still do some things individually, and some things in a group.

 

[abline]

Try to overlap your vacations. That is what were doing with my SIL. Last time all she wanted to do was waste time shopping. And with so many people (4 adults 6 kids) in tow its hard to plan and coordinate. Way too much standing around. I can handle a couple days of kids gone wild but a whole vacation w/another family would not be a vacation to me. As learned from past experiences.

 

[HMeyers]

We are going down this year with another family. We are on the same fights so the kids can sit together and maybe watch a movie. Then once we're there we are staying at different resorts. During the week we have several activities planned together: Pirate Adventure, Character meal, and Cirque de Soleil. And we'll spend one day together in MK so the kids can ride with a friend. We did this last year too and it really works out well. The kids get to enjoy their friends but at the same time we get to enjoy WDW as a family. Hope this helps.

 

[Carrie772]

We vacationed loosely with another family last Oct. Rode down in caravan, ate at the same places, swapped kids now and then...we have matching ages for the kids...and decided to go to the same parks.

We did not stay in the same resort. Just met up for lunches and ran together until dinner and split up. Worked perfectly.

It made the trip down much more comfortable and that we agreed on how much together-ness we would have helped too.

 

[GinaGrumpyDwarf]

NO NO NO NO NO...never again

 

[traviesojmt]

I don't consider it selfish at all. I consider vacation to be a very sacred thing for our family. My DH works very hard during the year and we enjoy vacation as a family time together. I do think that vacationing with others can be done, but they have to be the same type of "vacationers" as we are. My parents are going to be going on vacation with us for part of our trip this year. This is actually not a problem for me or my DH. My parents are very easy going (they let me plan the whole trip) and they tend to keep the same schedule that we do. Vacationing with them works for us. Now it does not work with my DH's family. We tried it once. NEVER AGAIN. They were usually just getting to the parks as we were taking our afternoon break. It seemed difficult to work things out with them.
If you don't feel comfortable vacationing with another family. Do not feel bad about it. You are perfectly justified in wanting to enjoy your vacation with just your family.

 

[disneyfamilyof5]

We are going to try this out w/SIL's family of 4 next May. We had a disaster trip w/them last year in Colorado. I think now that her kids are older, maybe, just maybe, we will be able to have a good time. We will stay in the same resort but I am not gonna wait on their family to get ready. We are off and running with or without them. Not going to ruin another trip cause of them.

 

[tripplanner]

You are definitely not being selfish. If it happens, be clear from the start. Your family does your thing, my family does our thing, we will do X, Y, and Z together. When we travel with others we always make some plans together like ADR's for several sit down meals. We also tend to call each other each day while on the trip, maybe make plans to let the kids swim together some evenings, but we don't crowd each other. We always discuss this before the trip, so we all know what to expect.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Heck no you aren't selfish.

Every Disney trip we've been on, we've traveled with somebody. My mom a number of times, DH's grandma and cousins. This trip we said just us and thats how its going to be.

I told DH we won't know how to act, a WDW with just the 4 of us. It will take some adjusting since DD is only 2 and not big enough to go on alot of stuff. But thats OK, we'll make do.

 

[PlutoLuvr]

I can certainly relate to your situation/dilema. All I can say is you never know unless you try it out.

Back in '98, our best friends wanted to take DH & I to WDW for the weekend for us letting them have their wedding in our home. I thought we'd have a blast...I mean, we're all best friends, same interests, no kids, small group (4). Boy, was I wrong. Talk about the trip from hell. I said never again, we go alone or not at all.

Well, my hubby's massive family has been trying to plan a get-together for years at the World with the whole family. We're all Floridians all across the state, and we all go all the time, just not together. Well, after nine years, we finally had to give in. My excuse book had been exhausted. There were 11 of us, and I'll tell ya, we had the best time. I can't wait until we get to do it again. Felt wonderful to go with seasoned disney vets who knew what they were doing!

With the large group, we all did have some other things planned that didn't include everyone. We stayed at our time share; everyone else stayed on site. DH & I had a couple must-do restaurants over at CityWalk, so we did that with a couple from his family while the grandparents hung close to the disney hotel; a few of us hit parks while others hit DTD. But generally we were all together at least in the same parks communicating by cell phones. Honestly, I wish I'd done it years earlier, and I would never hesitate to do it again.

So you never know until you give it a shot!

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

I enjoy people. I really, really do but not all the time, full time! I have shared vacations with people before when the other couple had a fight it just totally ruined it for us all. I am so cheap I will not even fight with my own husband on vacation cause it is a waste of time and money.

If I am at DW when family or friends are there I arrange that we meet a few times during the stay and will even adjust my plans to help them navigate Frantasyland (etc) easier or stake out a good parade spot for them while they enjoy a couple of more attractions.

Every family is unique and likes different things and even within the family group each person has their own preferences. It is hard enough to adapt for your own family without having to worry about others as well. Pretty much no one gets to do much of anything they want if they are joined at the hip. It is better to do your own things most of the time and just have a few planned together experiences and then you can talk about the different things you did!

Good luck with your trip and I hope it all turns out well.

Slightly Goofy

 

[Cinderumbrella]

No- it's not selfish!!!

We took DS (then 2.5) last fall for his first trip. My IL's really wanted to come with since they love WDW but I wanted it to be just "my family" for his first trip.

The IL's and SIL and her family are coming this year and there is already drama and we haven't even left yet (SIGH!!!!!!!). But DH wanted it this way, and I suspect this will be the last time we do it!!!

 

[TommyTutone]

Disney? Heck no, there is too much going on and the stress of the crowds can make for an abrasive vacation.

Now if you are talking a cruise or an all-inclusive resort, I'd certainly be more inclined. They are considerably less stressful and I would not feel pressured to go off with them at every moment because it is harder to 'get lost' from each other. I could absolutely see going to Jamaica with my brother's family and just chilling for a week, but not Disney.

 

[Linda/MA]

We've had very good experiences going on vacation with other families. We went to WDW twice with another family and their children who were very good friends of my children. Maybe that helps. It really cut down on the tension between my two daughters -- anyone who has 2 girls knows how than can be. We all got along great. In my situation, it really helps if the kids get along as well as the husbands. There were times the guys really didn't want to do what we all wanted to do, so they went off and did their own thing -- like sit at the ESPN club . . . not often but on a couple of occasions. We also took a Boston-Bermuda cruise with this family along with 3 other families and had a great time. The kids could do their thing and the adults could do theirs. Not that I don't like being with my girls, but when they're teenagers, too much togetherness can be a bad thing.

 

[grinningghost]

We've never gone with another family and I really want to keep it that way.

To be perfectly honest, we simply don't have enough money to waste on a trip that COULD go bad by sharing it with another family.

If I was loaded, I might consider it.

 

[LYNSUE]

Back in 1999 we went to WDW with my whole family. 13 people total with the youngest being 8 years old. Although we split up for a few things, most of the vacation was togetherness. It was very hectic with that many people. Just too many different tastes to consider.

After that DH and I just took our two boys when going to WDW. Now that the kids are on their own, its just DH and I. It is absolutely lovely! So much less stress and planning. At WDW, I find "the less the merrier" and I am a very unselfish person. I would never consider DH and I enjoying our vacation alone as selfish nor would I ever impose myself on other people's vacations plans.

 

[deekaypee]

My DH was asking my SIL to go to WDW the same time we were. I didn't make an issue but was hoping they wouldn't want to go. She found out we're staying onsite instead of the timeshare so I'm sure they won't be going. But I have this feeling that I just want WDW to be with my family. IS it selfish to want to keep our Disney trip to ourselves? We have gone twice with my parents and it was a nice time. This trip will be just us and I want to keep it that way.

No, it's not selfish at all! There's a lot of reasons to want to keep the group small, manageable, intimate. That said, going with your SIL and family--especially since your DH was doing the asking--might be a great way to make some very special memories & connections between your two households. Is there a way for a partial overlap between the vacations or maybe agreeing to meet up for dinners/nighttime activities only?

 

[IHeartTink04]

I totally understand!!!!!!!! I would be the exact same way! Don't feel selfish!

 

[minkydog]

Try to overlap your vacations. That is what were doing with my SIL. Last time all she wanted to do was waste time shopping. And with so many people (4 adults 6 kids) in tow its hard to plan and coordinate. Way too much standing around. I can handle a couple days of kids gone wild but a whole vacation w/another family would not be a vacation to me. As learned from past experiences.

Amen to this Unless you know you have VERY similar travel & spending styles or are willing to split up during the day, doing Disney (or any other major desitination) with another family is asking for disaster!