Would you complain about an engagement ring?

[Serena]

This couple came into work today. He was looking at watches and she was too for a while. Eventually she went over to the Fine jewelry dept to ask for the sales associates opinion on her engagement ring.

Well, she was honest. She said it's a nice ring but it has flaws in it. But almost every diamond does unless it's very expensive.

Ok, by this time he's gone and she's asking my opinion. It was a pretty ring. I couldn't see any flaws in it, but I probably wouldn't see a flaw if it bit me.
Anyway, she was going to tell him to take it back, she wanted a different ring.
I just couldn't get over that. You don't tell your guy to take back the ring cause it's not good enough.
Hopefully the two have talked about it before he goes and buys it. I want to have input on my ring, if I ever get one. So, he shouldn't try to surprise me.
But I still don't get telling the guy to take back the ring. I just don't get it.

 

[crz4mm2]

DH and I went together to pick out my ring. If he had went by himself, I am sure I would not have been very happy...... His idea and my idea of the perfect ring were worlds apart!! LOL.
I probably would not have complained, BUT I am sure glad I didn't have to

 

[Buckalew11]

If I were the guy and she asked me to take it back, I would.

And then I'd walk away from her and never look back.

It'll be a blessing to him to find out what she is really like if she asks him to take the ring back for a batter one.

 

[Christine]

This is just one of those things that I will NEVER understand. But, then again, I am not into jewelry that much.

A co-worker of mine spent a lot of time researching and checking out engagement rings for his fiancee. He did have her input also with regards to the cut and the style of the setting. He spent months shopping and agonizing over it (way more than I would EVER want anyone to do for me). He finally gives her the ring, she is polite enough and then proceeds to complain about it for 10 years!! Finally on their 10th anniversary, they went out and had the ring "redone".

Yes, I really do think less of this woman now.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

The ring I had was beautiful. Really beautiful. But I feel bad looking back on things because I was always saying "I don't want a piece of junk ring" or "So-n-so has a GORGEOUS ring". Now that I had the beautiful ring and the wrong guy, all I want is the right guy. The ring doesn't matter to me anymore. I would never tell him it wasn't "nice" enough because it means so much more to me now than just something to stare at or impress other people with.

 

[Buckalew11]

You all are so right! I have a beautiful engagment ring that I never wear because it isn;t practical. I have an anniversary band that I wear daily that has 5 small diamonds. DH bought me a 3 stone ring last year for mother's day that I wear when I dress up (which is about 1x a week).

The ring and the flaws or no flaws is the least of the concerns of a relationship!!

 

[lulugirl]

Well, no I wouldn't "complain" about it, but I do think the woman should have input regarding the ring.
I do think it's kind of tacky to want a bigger, more impressive ring. I'm just saying the STYLE of the ring should reflect her taste.

 

[cakesnkids]

Well, what a ring looks like does not matter, what it signifies does. My ring is a simple gold band, with a 1/4 carat stone on it. I love it b/c my husband picked it out, by himself, and was/is in love with me enough that he went and bought me a ring and asked me to share his life with him.
My ring has an inclusion, and HE found this, not me, and he wants to replace the stone. We have been married 8 years, and NEVER will I replace that stone. The inclusion in that stone will NEVER make it less of a ring to me, b/c it's not what the ring looks like that matters, it's what it signifies. So..in my long winded way, yes, I think she is wrong for complaining about the rign.

 

[Lil_Tink]

I would never ask someone kinda enough to get me a ring to take it back..

 

[KarenAylwood]

I wouldn't complain about it. I think it's even MORE rude because she went into a store WITH him and complained while he was looking at something else! At least go in and do it when your fiance isn't standing right there!! And no, I'd never have the guts to complain about a ring unless I ended up deciding I didn't really want to marry him afterall.

DBF and I have looked at rings plenty of times and have been together for over 2 and a half years. The only reason we're not engaged is because he doesn't have the money (is in med school) and there's no real rush. But heck he knows what I want! And whatever I do get- I know he picked out with me in mind and that's all the better to me. I want something HE'S proud to give me, even if it isn't exactly what I want.

It's going to mean even more to me knowing that he picked it out.

 

[ReneeA]

LOL!!

I hope you guys don't think poorly of me.

My DH asked me to marry him after only 5 weeks of dating. He knew he wanted to ask me and put a ring on hold at a jeweler. He wasn't sure I would like it, so he put it on hold, asked me, then took me to pick it up.

Honestly, we hadn't been dating very long, and he didn't know how simple my tastes were. It was a $15,000 set that he couldn't afford. I didn't love it, didn't want him to finance it, and picked out a set I LOVED for $2700.

He seemed fine, and I STILL love it 10 years later! Oh, and him too!


ReneeA

 

[Kim&Chris]

Personally, I wouldn't complain and wouldn't make him take it back. However, an engagement ring is a very personal thing, and I believe the woman has the "right" to love & enjoy her ring.

That's exactly why I went with my DH to pick out my ring. And I'm glad I did because I LOVE it.

Who knows?? Maybe that girl is just really disappointed in her ring for one of many reasons. Maybe she's superficial....maybe her fiancee bought a very flawed diamond because that was all he could afford....maybe he just bought any old ring when she wanted something specific....etc.

 

[Skywalker]

No way would I ever complain about an engagement ring. I loved the ring my husband bought me and that was it. Didn't think about it twice, didn't compare it to any others, never even looked around to know what else was out there. It is a beautiful gift from the heart and that is all that matters. If she is fussy on jewellery, let her express that in other areas, but not take back the ring he bought her.

 

[Buckalew11]

renee, it was the same thing with my 3 stone ring. It was just too big. I'm not a "jewelry" person anyway and what he picked last year was just too big. He told me when he gave it to me that if it wasn't right we'd exchange it (which we did).

My comments above in post #2 are more about a girl who thinks she needs a flawless diamond or something bigger. That smells like trouble to me and that he'll always have a hard time satisfying her in their lives together. I think it would be rude to complain about a diamond ring being flawed or not big enough. And sure, I think the receiver should love the style and love the ring. I just got the idea from Serena's post that this girl was whining for the wrong reasons.

 

[mickeyfan2]

You don't tell your guy to take back the ring cause it's not good enough.

She is the only thing not good enought in this engagement. I hope when she gives it back since it is not good enought he returns it and leaves.

 

[noseybuddy]

My husband bought me an anniversary band. I really didn't like it. I knew he spent a lot of money on it. I couldn't see keeping it if I really didn't like it and he spent all that money. So I told him and we went back to the store and exchange it for one I liked. He was fine with that.

 

[wilderness01]

Wow so many harsh posts and no one really knows the truth or has seen the ring. I do think it is impolite to "complain" about a ring that is so significant but really, maybe there is more to the story. I wouldn't go flaming her until her side is told.

Noseybuddy, I was posting at the same time you were. I really would have no problem if my husband bought me a piece of jewelry that was expensive and I didn't like it to tell him. Of course I would be tactful and careful of his feelings, but I think it would be more insulting to keep it to spare his feelings and then never wear it. He works so hard that I wouldn't want him to waste his hard earned $. Good for you that you could tell your spouse and have no hard feelings. We have the same kind of relationship. I do have a friend that complained to us a few years ago about her engagement ring. They had been married about 15 years at that point. Anyway, she held up her ring and said "oh you mean this piece of junk"! I was floored and so insulted for her husband. If she felt that way, she should have carefully said that 16 years ago, not now or just kept it to herself. I thought she was tacky doing that in front of us.

 

[swea_pea1]

I would have never complained about my ring. It came from his heart, along with a promise to marry me. How could I complain about that?

 

[hiwaygal]

There is NO WAY I would ever ask for my engagement ring to be "returned" for something else!!!

I wanted a diamond for my engagement ring...I tend to be traditional about jewelry. I sent pictures of rings I liked and within our budget to my DH, but ultimately the choice was his. That Christmas morning he handed me a beautiful heart shaped ruby as he asked me to marry him. It was definitely a surprise. Later he told me that he got the ruby because it is my birthstone, and the "heart" was because we loved each other

How could I not ABSOLUTELY love that ring after that?!?!?!

Now, the setting had to be changed to sit properly next to a wedding band...but there is no way I would have changed that ring for any other reason.

 

[poohandwendy]

No, I would not return an engagement ring. If I was super particular about jewelry, I would make it clear that I wanted to be included in choosing it, before it was bought.

Honestly, I sometimes wonder if people are really grounded in reality anymore when it comes to love, marriage etc. Seems like people are just becoming more and more self-centered. I dunno.