Would you cancel your vacation?

[Minnie_me]

Here's a hypothetical situation for you.

Let's say that your mother has just gone into an assisted living facility with dementia, and her house needs to be sold to help with the cost. Your siblings agree to spend February break packing up the house, cleaning, etc.........but you and your spouse have plans to go to Mexico that week.

What do you do? Cancel your vacation? (the package *is* transferrable, and the trip can also be taken in April, no $$ lost) Or let the siblings do the dirty work on their own?

 

[rszdtrvl]

I would keep the vacation plans, and help when vacation is over.

 

[happygirl]

Here's a hypothetical situation for you.

Let's say that your mother has just gone into an assisted living facility with dementia, and her house needs to be sold to help with the cost. Your siblings agree to spend February break packing up the house, cleaning, etc.........but you and your spouse have plans to go to Mexico that week.

What do you do? Cancel your vacation? (the package *is* transferrable, and the trip can also be taken in April, no $$ lost) Or let the siblings do the dirty work on their own?

I would never expect them to do all the work by themselves

 

[Minnie_me]

I would keep the vacation plans, and help when vacation is over.

This is not an option. The house will go on the market March 1st. You live too far away to help after February break, but before March 1st.

 

[momto2inKC]

Well since the trip is transferable and there would be no penalty, I think I would go ahead and change the dates and help out.

 

[mamacatnv]

That is a loaded question. As someone who got to single handedly clean out Mothers apt. I say cancel BUT since your plans are in place and were(I assume) before the weekend was set, I think its reasonable to take your scheduled vacation.
Just know your siblings will take all the "good" stuff in your absence

 

[Minnie_me]

That is a loaded question. As someone who got to single handedly clean out Mothers apt. I say cancel BUT since your plans are in place and were(I assume) before the weekend was set, I think its reasonable to take your scheduled vacation.
Just know your siblings will take all the "good" stuff in your absence

Just FYI, *I* am not the sibling with the plans to vacation in Mexico.

 

[Pakey]

I'm only speaking for myself.

My siblings already consider me to be the selfish one. So I'd live up to the hype and I'd keep my vacation. I probably wouldn't tell them it was transferrable.

 

[hereyago]

Well, it would depend on the dynamics of the siblings: do they all want to work together, or are a couple of them the type to show up late or half butt do things?

If it's the latter, yes I would still go on vacation. If not, reschedule.

 

[okeydokey]

I would take time off of work to get there before the vacation and do as much as I could to make it easier on those doing the work during the Feb vacation.

Then I would go on my vacation after already having done my share (actually, I would probably do more than my share).

 

[JaneBanks]

Honestly, I couldn't tell you what I would do. I would consult with my siblings.

Now, if one of my brothers had the vacation plans, I would tell him to go and enjoy himself.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Here's a hypothetical situation for you.

Let's say that your mother has just gone into an assisted living facility with dementia, and her house needs to be sold to help with the cost. Your siblings agree to spend February break packing up the house, cleaning, etc.........but you and your spouse have plans to go to Mexico that week.

What do you do? Cancel your vacation? (the package *is* transferrable, and the trip can also be taken in April, no $$ lost) Or let the siblings do the dirty work on their own?

I would be cleaning it out now and not wait on siblings. I would not wait until Feb to clean it out when it needs to be market March 1st.

 

[Minnie_me]

It's really a tough situation all around. Two of us (me, and the vacation sibling) live too far away to help out before hand. We've also taken way too many days off work during the past two weeks dealing with our mom's hospitalization and move into the assisted living facility.

There will be a lot of bad feelings while two of us are spending 9 days doing all of the work, and one of us (and spouse) is in Mexico.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

You say they wouldn't lose any money on the vacation package but what about their work schedules? Will their work allow them to change their time off request to April?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It's really a tough situation all around. Two of us (me, and the vacation sibling) live too far away to help out before hand. We've also taken way too many days off work during the past two weeks dealing with our mom's hospitalization and move into the assisted living facility.

There will be a lot of bad feelings while two of us are spending 9 days doing all of the work, and one of us (and spouse) is in Mexico.

You are setting up a situation in which there is going to be HIGH tension. To expect to go in there, clean for 9 days and then have the house on the market is tough.

It is Dec. I just do not understand pushing it out that far. You could fly in, do some work and fly out.

Obviously the plan is doomed for tension as it stands now, I would try and tweak your plans and make it work better if you can.

Make it work!

 

[Minnie_me]

You say they wouldn't lose any money on the vacation package but what about their work schedules? Will their work allow them to change their time off request to April?

Yes, they are teachers.

 

[JessicaR]

A vacation is planned and in the works. There are other siblings that can take care of business. If those siblings feel they can't complete the mission alone they should say so. If it can be done w/o the sibling that has plans - do it and tell them they should go on their vacation - guilt free.

You said you're not the one with the plans - what if you were the ones with the plans? What would you want done?

 

[Minnie_me]

You are setting up a situation in which there is going to be HIGH tension. To expect to go in there, clean for 9 days and then have the house on the market is tough.

It is Dec. I just do not understand pushing it out that far. You could fly in, do some work and fly out.

Obviously the plan is doomed for tension as it stands now, I would try and tweak your plans and make it work better if you can.

Make it work!

The sibling who lives in town will be working several weekends between now and then, just because it is easy. I will be going down over MLK weekend, but simply can't do any other weekends until Feb break. The sibling with the Mexico vacation *may* come MLK weekend, but most likely will not.

 

[mamacatnv]

Aha, sibling was shortsided in letting other sib's know the vacation was changeable

I am my mothers legal guardian, my brother doesn't do squat. I have learned that while it sometimes bugs me it is what it is. He gives what he wants and I do what I want. There is nothing carved in stone stating that all things in dealing with our elderly parents will be equal. There is nothing that says we all have to pitch in equally, there is almost always someone who thinks they are doing more than "their fair share"

What about hiring out the job, everyone pitches in dollars not hours, far easier to keep it equitable. In hindsight I wish I had hired one of those companies that comes in, organizes and then sells all the stuff.

 

[*JoGo*]

Working all this out:
3 siblings
At least 2 of the 3 live too far away and cannot take off work but have February break off work.
1 that lives too far away has vacation plans for Feb break.

First, what is Feb break? Must be a regional thing?
Are the 2 that live a great distance teachers?
And what is Too far away in miles or hours?
Is the third sibling local? Or will s/he be traveling also?
When was it decided Mom was going into a home? And why is the house going on the market March 1?

If everyone must do this together, I would change it to Easter/spring break. No matter what, cleaning out the house in Feb to put it on the market March 1 is cutting things very close. Unless it is a condo or has been kept up to date on everything and is in tip top shape.

If it has and you are only going through personal belongings, I would consider hiring a moving company to box everything up and ship it to either a storage unit or siblings garage until everyone can go through it together. At the cost of the estate. This is what was done with my great grandma's belongings, from MI to WV then my aunt and I (on behalf of my deceased father) went to WV and we all sorted it.