Would you bring other kids (friends of your children) on vacation?

[ilovepcot]

As an only child, my parents were great about allowing me to invite another kid along on vacations. This day and time I wouldn't consider it for a minute! People you "think" you know well can turn awfully ugly when they feel something wasn't handled right where their child is concerned. And then, with the talk of law suits....no! It's hard enough sometimes to get safely through each day without the added burden of being *totally responsible* for someone else's child. No, no, no....a thousand times NO!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I hadn't even thought about it from the liability viewpoint. It's sad when that is what stops people--I can understand why it would stop people, but sad that we live in such a litigious society. I know that some people won't even carpool because they are afraid of having an accident and then being sued.

As far as other issues--homesickness, etc--it sure would be important to know the child. It would not be fun to have to cut a vacation short to return a child or deal with one that was very homesick. I suppose it's best to start with a weekend trip close to home to gauge that particular child and how they will handle the trip, follow the rules, etc.

I also hadn't thought about the host child not behaving as well with a friend there. I can easily see my DD having that problem when she was younger and at least one of my sons. Being cool in front of friends can be a problem, depending on the child.

 

[cruiserkaren]

Being an only I always got to bring one friend along. DH and I are talking that DD may be an only and if so she would be allowed to bring a friend. IF we could afford to pay for it all and IF we knew her family very well. But not until she is a teenager. I think before then, she can handle it with parents/grandparents only.

ETA: I've read a lot about it being family time. Even though I was allowed to bring a friend we were still expected to do family things. Just b/c I had a friend along didn't mean we were allowed to go and do whatever WE wanted.

 

[CheshireVal]

I don't have kids yet, but I would not bring my children's friends on vacation.

For one thing, I'd rather that vacation be family time, and having another kid along would take away from that. I was never allowed to take friends on vacations-- even as a grumpy teenager, I spent time with the family and, darnit, I actually kind of enjoyed it.

For another thing, there is the liability issue. Plus just the general stress and hassle of keeping up with someone else's kid (in addition to your own!) I'm a teacher, and chaperoning kids on trips is stressful for me... I don't need to go through that again on my own vacation!

 

[mickeyfan2]

I have taken nieces, nephew and friends kids on vacation with us. It always works out fine. Would do it again.

 

[Marseeya]

We were hoping to bring a friend for DD on our upcoming WDW trip in June, but now ya'll are making me really rethink this decision!



Now I'm worried about:

What if she gets homesick?
What if the kids fight?
What if something happens and we get sued?
What if it's not as much fun as we thought it would be?
What if
What if
What if!!!

 

[sue1013]

I've both taken friends and my kids have gone on vacation with friends. Not until they were at least 13 though. We've never had a problem and the kids always enjoyed themselves. The kids I've taken we were very used to having overnight and for weekends so no homesick problems. I've never thought it was more stress or hassle having a friend along. With teens it was way less stress than if they were alone. I keep reading posters mentioning that vacation is family time. Maybe I'm misunderstanding their meaning but I lived (kids are grown) with my family everyday vacation was not the only time I'd see them.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

We were hoping to bring a friend for DD on our upcoming WDW trip in June, but now ya'll are making me really rethink this decision!

Oh, no! I'm sorry! Just because some others have had a not so great experience doesn't mean that you won't have a great time.

Do you know the child well? Her parents? Have you thought about the financial stuff? Has she spent the weekend with you?

 

[goodeats]

I would not bring a friend on a big family vacation across the country. For instance, being in CA a trip to WDW is a rarity and I wouldn't want an 'outsider' intruding on our special trip. But just a day trip or even a weekend to the beach or Disneyland where we go every year would not be a bit deal.

 

[NMAmy]

Yes, I do take dd's friends on vacations with us. I've also taken my niece and nephew on vacations.

DD is an only child and taking a friend gives her someone to hang out with at the pool, etc. So far, we haven't had a problem and just because someone else is with us doesn't mean we don't have family time. We all do everything together--we just add a new person into the mix.

One of my favorite childhood memories is when a friend's family took me with them to Cedar Point and King's Island. We had a blast and it was something I never would have experienced because my parents are just not amusement park people. My friend and I still talk about what a great time we had.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would not bring a friend on a big family vacation across the country. For instance, being in CA a trip to WDW is a rarity and I wouldn't want an 'outsider' intruding on our special trip. But just a day trip or even a weekend to the beach or Disneyland where we go every year would not be a bit deal.

That's a good point. If it's a once in a lifetime trip I'd probably have higher expectations that if it's a regular occurance or even a yearly trip. I wouldn't want to chance having a once in a lifetime trip ruined.

 

[disykat]

A weekend at the beach - maybe (but probably not), a family vacation - never. I have two boys who don't always get along, but vacations when they only have each other are real bonding times for them.

 

[Planogirl]

I have an only child so I think it would be fun for him. Plus he and I have family time no matter who else is around.

 

[mom2boys]

I don't foresee allowing my kids to take a friend on vacation. We don't travel with a set itinerary. We tend to wander. For example on our next trip we will fly to Albuquerque and take a driving tour of the Southwest. We will have some ressies for certain nights but can't say where we will be from day to day. Sometimes we camp, sometimes we get a room.
My boys are only 17 monthes apart. Even though they have very different personalities but they are good friends.

Now if we went to the same place every year and just hung out, I might consider letting each take a friend. I'd still be very selective. Would have to know the parents and the kid very well. I would have him spend a lot of time with us before we left so he could get used to us.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

We take a family vacation every summer, where we meet up with DBIL and his family. A few years back, they let their then 13yo take a friend. What a disaster! The two 13yo girls excluded the 11 yo girl--she was "odd girl out" the entire week. Friend didn't want to do anything, so they moped about all week. BIL decided he had to be the "cool dad", so he was telling jokes at dinner that made even me blush, directly to the 13yo's, in front of my kids, then ages 5 and 7, and of course his own 11 and 5 yo's. And as someone else mentioned, it was more of an issue with their own child, not the guest child.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. My two oldest are 21 months apart, they get along fine on vacations. Plus, we'll soon be a family of 6--plenty of people/stuff/expense as it is. Throw in the nasty experience, it's not happening. I could see it if I had an only, or kids way apart in ages. Then I would at least consider it. But we also tend to be a strict family, have certain behavioral expectations, that might clash with another family's parentling style. OTOH, I WOULD consider bringing a friend for a day trip.

 

[Just2554]

My parents have let me bring someone along on vacations with us since I was in 8th grade and we've always had a blast. The thing is though, it's ALWAYS been either my best friend or my boyfriend that has come with us.

My parents have always been willing to let me bring someone one the trip with us because it makes it more fun. My best friend and I have been superclose for 10 years now and we hardly ever fight. I know her family inside and out and vice versa, so my family has always been willing to bring her along, especially considering her parents are older and don't vacation. My boyfriend has come along with us quite a few times as well. He's like one of the family and knows all of us well and he and I are very serious, so it's always made sense to bring him. He'd never go anywhere otherwise, mostly because his parents are ***holes (which could spawn another entire thread if I got into it here).

I do have a sister who is six years younger than I am and we're really close as well. She also knows and adores both my best friend and my boyfriend, so it's never been an issue having one of them with us. We all spend time together.

My parents usually cover the hotel room when someone comes with us and they'll cover a sit down meal here and there. Guests pay everything else for themselves, but my father gets amazing deals so they really luck out.

It makes me really sad to see so many people that are unwilling to even consider taking someone else with them on their trip. My parents love having my best friend or boyfriend with us. They are two people who would never get to go anywhere or see anything and we take them so they can experience it all. It really adds to our trips because everyone enjoys themselves.

 

[Galahad]

We have done so. They were our guests so we paid for everything (based on the original question) except what they decided to purchase with money they brought for that purpose.

 

[Tinkim]

We're taking my DS13 friend next month to WDW. They have been friends since first grade and he practically lives at our house. He has been here up to a week at a time with only brief visits to his house. My other son is 1-1/2 years younger and he gets along equally well with both of my sons. In fact, he will still come over to see DS11 if DS13 is not home. My DD8 treats him like another annoying brother although she is having friends along too because my friend is coming with her 2 DD's. I am more worried about the girls fighting or getting on each others nerves than the boys. There is almost always a problem when the girls are playing together but hardly ever a problem with the boys playing together. I knew he really wanted to go to WDW and this might be the only chance he had and we really love that knucklehead like one of our own!

 

[skiwee1]

I know I've probably told you this before, but I want my kids to become friends with your kids. Those are nice vacations!!! I know, I have an idea! May I come? Please. I'll be really good and can be your friend!

We're both in MD! What part? I'm near Annapolis!

 

[skiwee1]

We were hoping to bring a friend for DD on our upcoming WDW trip in June, but now ya'll are making me really rethink this decision!



Now I'm worried about:

What if she gets homesick?
What if the kids fight?
What if something happens and we get sued?
What if it's not as much fun as we thought it would be?
What if
What if
What if!!!

We've never had any problems in the 15 years we have taken kids friends on vacation! Thos things you worried about never even come to mind when we do this. The kids we take we have known for quite a while and trust their parents completely.