Would you bring a gift?

[CamColt]

If you were invited to a college graduation party, being held at the graduate's parent's house, and the invitiation stated "No Gifts Please...This is just a celebration!", would you bring one? I feel rude if I don't but rude if I do.

 

[gemjoy]

Hmmm... that's a difficult question. Personally, I think I'd bring a card with some money, or perhaps a gift card inside. But - are you obligated... absolutely not. Have fun!

 

[Marla Hellwig]

How about a cool card and a bouquet of flowers, box of cholocates - or something along that line

 

[NMAmy]

NO!! Don't bring a gift but bring a card expressing your good wishes.

This is a touchy subject for me. DH and I renewed our wedding vows last year and I'd written No Gifts, Please right on the invitation. This wasn't a first marriage for either of us, we've been living together for several years but we'd gotten married when we lived across the country and I wanted a party with the family and our friends all gathered together. I was incredibly annoyed that people brought gifts anyway. I mean, the thought was nice but we didn't need anything, those that didn't bring gifts felt guilty, and then I had to send thank you notes.

Just take a card.

 

[hercamore]

Yes, a card is appropriate. I'd give some money, too, if I knew them well.

herc.

 

[CamColt]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I was leaning toward a card with a check in it, but a part of me does feel rude about doing so. Hmmmm??? Any other opinions?

 

[buddy&wooz]

I'd definitely bring a card. If I knew the student well I'd just mail him/her a check separately.

Seems kind of odd for the parents to host the party and say "no gifts"- the gifts aren't for them in the first place! That's different from hosting a party for yourself and saying no gifts, which I can understand completely.

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

How about a cool card and a bouquet of flowers, box of cholocates - or something along that line

I think that is a very good idea. It's not exactly a gift but you aren't entering the party empty handed either.

Other than that, I would give a gift card. But I would get it to someplace that will deal with their major. I.e: if they graduated with a teaching degree a gift card to staples would be nice. A Best Buy or Circuit City gift card is good for someone with an engineering degree, etc.

 

[Cthia]

I would bring a card with money in it. You aren't bringing a gift that they won't use and the money they can use towards college, etc.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I would bring a card.

I would not bring a gift if asked not to.

College students would appreciate a walmart giftcard.

 

[Pam]

I would honor the graduate's wishes and just bring a nice card to the celebration.

 

[Keli]

I wouldn't bring a gift to the celebration. But if I wanted to give the graduate a gift then I would send a card w/money to their home.

 

[momrek06]

HEY ALL: This is the invitation I received for a Graduation Party....

"In lieu of a gift please complete the advice card enclosed! Sean wishes nothing more than your presence at the celebration along with a hearty appetite, a thrist to quench, and the desire for dialogue!"

I will say I wrote a nice little quip I actually got off another graduation card I recently picked up for another party we are going to. Those grad cards are loaded with words of wisdom!!

BUT..I have known this young man forever and he is graduating with his PHD. Remarkable. He is fabulous. I really really feel the need to put some $$$ in my card and NOT go empty handed.....

SO OP...I think this is a hard call!!! I think it depends on your relationship with the graduate. Are you pretty close or "just friends"!!!

 

[AllyandJack]

I was in this situation for a vow renewal. So, I brought a card with a check in it. I waited it out to see if anyone else brought gifts. If nobody else brought anything, I was going to just take the card home, remove the check, and send the card. I didn't want to be the loser who made everyone else look bad. People brought gifts, so I just added my card to the group of gifts.

Best of both worlds!

 

[Saphire]

I would not bring a gift if that was the request. I would bring a card with warm congratualtions. I would also bring flowers or wine (if appropriate) for the hostess.

 

[tjmw2727]

I would bring a card either way and maybe a bottle of wine, dessert or some type of food item that could be served that day or saved for later.

As for a gift, if it were someone close enough that I would give a graduation present even if there wasn't a party I would still do so but not at the party if asked not to. I would have it sent or bring it another time.

Another alterntive, something we often do is to make a donation in the persons name to a cause or charity that we know they are concernd about.

TJ