Would you be upset if your 2nd grader came home with this library book?

[mytwotinks]

I was going through my 8 year old dd's backpack Friday and was totally shocked to find a Time Life book about September 11th. I looked through it and was totally shocked to see pictures of people jumping to their death and dead bodies being carried out of the rubble. It was not a children's book.

Am I totally out of my mind? I am just so shocked that this book was in the elementary school library.

 

[OKW Lover]

I guess I'd be shocked if somebody was trying to keep that kind of book hidden.

 

[denanbob]

I was going through my 8 year old dd's backpack Friday and was totally shocked to find a Time Life book about September 11th. I looked through it and was totally shocked to see pictures of people jumping to their death and dead bodies being carried out of the rubble. It was not a children's book.

Am I totally out of my mind? I am just so shocked that this book was in the elementary school library.

While I think the details surrounding 9/11 are appropriate to share with an 8 year old, I think it should be dealt with in a careful and well thought out manner. I think the book is probably a really good tool for you to use to illustrate what happened. BUT, having said that, I agree with you in that I would have been a little upset if that material were just readily available to children who may not be aware of the details of the tragedy. We were pretty up front about it with our kids when it happened, and I don't think my 8 year old would be shocked to see a book like that as he is pretty knowledgeable about what happened. However, I can see where other parents may have chosen to wait awhile before exposing their kids to the realties and the ugliness of the world and that book could be very upsetting to an unsuspecting 8 year old. Best advice I can give, is to promptly sit down with your child and discuss the book (maybe they haven't even looked at it yet). Good luck!

 

[mytwotinks]

So you don't think that their are things in the world that we should protect our children from. The news wouldn't even show the images of the people jumping from the building on fire because they were too upsetting. I remember at the time parents were being urged to limit what their young children were seeing. I don't think that 8 year olds are mature enough to handle images of burning human beings jumping to their death.

 

[Sweedee]

But ya know...it IS their history. My children were 7 and 9 when this happened. It was all over THEIR news, even if I didn't want it to be. Their innocence was gone in a moment, and it makes me so sad. I think of all the 7yo little children who lost a parent when this occurred. Their worlds were changed in a minute. I know our maternal instinct is to protect their innocence for as long as we can, but we can't shelter them from everything. The best you can do is to talk to your precious little one and find out if or what they have read. Chances are that if they have seen it, they have many unanswered questions. Who better to help them through that than their own mother!

 

[OKW Lover]

So you don't think that their are things in the world that we should protect our children from. The news wouldn't even show the images of the people jumping from the building on fire because they were too upsetting. I remember at the time parents were being urged to limit what their young children were seeing. I don't think that 8 year olds are mature enough to handle images of burning human beings jumping to their death.

I presume this was directed to me. At any rate, I'm happy to respond.

The news did indeed show picutres those pictures. And they were indeed horrorfying. Its real. It happened. Don't shut your eyes.

We spend an awful lot of time "protecting" children today. I believe we should spend more time preparing them for the real world. Even at 8, children are ready to learn about the world they will live in.

Just my opinion. You're welcome to ignore it. But you did ask.

 

[patsal]

Upsetting, yes, but it is something that happened and is part of your child's world. Why not take the time to use it as a learning tool and to communicate with your child. There must be a reason s/he chose this book. Ask what led up to the decision for choosing this book, how does she feel about what she sees, what has she heard others syaing in relationship to this subject. Ask about hte feelings associated with the pictures--is s/he scared about it happening in the future, etc. Every oppotunity presents itself as a leaning tool if we allow it to. Eight year olds see things differently than we adults do, find out things form the 8 year old perspective.

 

[mytwotinks]

We have talked to my daughter A LOT about it. Every year her school does a memorial service and we are totally o.k. with her getting age appropriate information. I am sure that there are books about 9/11 that were written for children and I would have no problem at all with her bringing one of those home. There are images and captions in the book that she brought home that are upsetting even to adults. I am not trying to keep anything from her. I just feel like things should be explained to children on a level that they can understand and that won't frighten them. As she gets older she will have lots of opportunities to see all of the pictures and read all of the scary stories.

I personally beleive that there are some things that we just don't need to see. I had heard that people jumped, but I didn't ever want to see it. I know it happened and for me that was enough.

 

[mytwotinks]

I presume this was directed to me. At any rate, I'm happy to respond.

The news did indeed show picutres those pictures. And they were indeed horrorfying. Its real. It happened. Don't shut your eyes.

We spend an awful lot of time "protecting" children today. I believe we should spend more time preparing them for the real world. Even at 8, children are ready to learn about the world they will live in.

Just my opinion. You're welcome to ignore it. But you did ask.

Where I live, the news showed those images that morning, but after the initial event made a point of saying that those images were too upsetting and they would not be showing them any more. I was gone during that day and when I came home that evening watched the news extensively and I never saw those images.

 

[Stitch#1]

The first thing I would probably ask if that was my child is why thry chose this particular book. Then I would sit down and talk to them and answer any questions.
My son was 6 yrs old when it happened and it was a constant subject in my house at the time for several reasons. Let me start by saying we live in NY
1. my DH & I both are state employees and had friends/co-workers that worked at the WTC.
2. at the time I worked for the state call center and during disasters the call center becomes the hotline number people call in to make donations, offer help and such and we worked many hours, plus I went to the city to work the city hotline for the mayors office and saw first hand the horro of it all.
We have been open with our child about the whole thing but only when he brings up the subject.

I think somethings going on in her head to prompt her to pick that particular book.

 

[mytwotinks]

The first thing I would probably ask if that was my child is why thry chose this particular book. Then I would sit down and talk to them and answer any questions.
My son was 6 yrs old when it happened and it was a constant subject in my house at the time for several reasons. Let me start by saying we live in NY
1. my DH & I both are state employees and had friends/co-workers that worked at the WTC.
2. at the time I worked for the state call center and during disasters the call center becomes the hotline number people call in to make donations, offer help and such and we worked many hours, plus I went to the city to work the city hotline for the mayors office and saw first hand the horro of it all.
We have been open with our child about the whole thing but only when he brings up the subject.

I think somethings going on in her head to prompt her to pick that particular book.

Honestly I am pretty sure that she picked it because it is a big picture book that looked like the Guiness book of World Records that all of the kids try to check out. She said that 3 of her friends checked out the others. I assume that they were 3 other Time life books on different topics. They just think that the picture books are fun to look at during class "quiet time."

The book was falling apart by the time she got it. I assume that lots of kids are picking it out to look at the shocking pictures. I doubt that many of their parents ever even know that the kids have seen it.

 

[Stitch#1]

Honestly I am pretty sure that she picked it because it is a big picture book that looked like the Guiness book of World Records that all of the kids try to check out. She said that 3 of her friends checked out the others. I assume that they were 3 other Time life books on different topics. They just think that the picture books are fun to look at during class "quiet time."

The book was falling apart by the time she got it. I assume that lots of kids are picking it out to look at the shocking pictures. I doubt that many of their parents ever even know that the kids have seen it.

I guess it's good that she brought it home so that at least you can discuss it with her. It unfortunate that possibly other parents didn't know what their children were looking at. It's definately a subject that is tough for a child to digest.

 

[Hannathy]

No I would not be upset, in fact I would be happy they were interested in History and world events. Kids need to learn history the good and the bad. We have watched the event since it happened and talked about it alot. My DD was there over the Labor day before with her Aunt who worked about 3 blocks from the towers.It hit her pretty hard that there were probably other kids on the observation deck that day but we talked about it and how there are just plain evil people in the world. I think kids need to what the world is really like and how lucky they are. I think we sanitize things to much for kids lately.

 

[mommyintn]

I was going through my 8 year old dd's backpack Friday and was totally shocked to find a Time Life book about September 11th. I looked through it and was totally shocked to see pictures of people jumping to their death and dead bodies being carried out of the rubble. It was not a children's book.

Am I totally out of my mind? I am just so shocked that this book was in the elementary school library.

I'm really suprised as the mother of a soon to be 2nd grader I would be upset. At my son's school they suggest books appropriate for their reading level and age. I don't think we need to hide what happened during 9/11 but graphic photos of the events don't need to be burned in the memory of an 8 year old. I would talk to someone at the school about the appropriatness of that book for an 8 year. After watching National Geographic show in 2nd grade about vampire bats I was terrified of going to bed and would pull my covers up around me even when it was the middle of the summer (we lived in the desert with a swamp cooler!), I can't imagine the nightmares I'd have even as an adult seeing people jump from the towers or their remains in the rubble.

 

[mommyintn]

I presume this was directed to me. At any rate, I'm happy to respond.

The news did indeed show picutres those pictures. And they were indeed horrorfying. Its real. It happened. Don't shut your eyes.

We spend an awful lot of time "protecting" children today. I believe we should spend more time preparing them for the real world. Even at 8, children are ready to learn about the world they will live in.

Just my opinion. You're welcome to ignore it. But you did ask.

Wow, I'm so suprised that people continue to think of children as "little adults". There are a lot of things that go on in our world everyday that you don't need to sit down and discuss with our kids in detail. When we were kids the biggest thing I remember kids discussing at he bus stop was who are your parents voting for Reagan or Carter? I guess I was 3rd or 4th grade then. There was an innocence growing up in the late 70's and 80's and kids were kids and there were horrific things going on in the world at that time too. A parents job is to give information at the time they feel their kids are emotionally and intellectually prepared. I agree we can't hide these things nor should we try to, but graphic pictures of what happened in 9/11 is just too much for any 8 year old.

 

[RDCAnthony]

I Thought this was a Disney board

 

[1stWDWtrip]

Upsetting, yes, but it is something that happened and is part of your child's world. Why not take the time to use it as a learning tool and to communicate with your child. There must be a reason s/he chose this book. Ask what led up to the decision for choosing this book, how does she feel about what she sees, what has she heard others syaing in relationship to this subject. Ask about hte feelings associated with the pictures--is s/he scared about it happening in the future, etc. Every oppotunity presents itself as a leaning tool if we allow it to. Eight year olds see things differently than we adults do, find out things form the 8 year old perspective.

Just my two cents... I agree with this poster. Take this as a chance to talk to your child and learn together in a "positive" way. If you freak out about it, it will probably just make her more curious and in turn make her want to start hiding things from you. I feel it is best to be in the open with it and be calm.

When everything first happened, yes, it was best to shield the small kids from what was going on. Now, I think it is appropriate to talk about it and explain (in their terms) what happened and try to have her be open to you about things even at this age. It does all start now

 

[kizmac]

I have an 8 yr old and I personally would not be bothered if he brought it home. We would likely look through it together and discuss it. My son has always been interested in the events of 9/11. He actually remembers it quite well because we were on vacation at Disney during the events, so he remembers and we have always discussed it. We've also been to the flight 93 memorial site on a 9/11 anniversary. We probably even have the book you're talking about.

I don't think I'd have a problem with my younger kids seeing it either, but that is me. You know your child best and I do think if you don't want them to see it then they shouldn't, so you should voice your concerns to the school. I doubt they would remove it though because it is a major event in our history. One of the lowest moments in history for sure but kids need to learn about it. If enough parents in your childs grade feel the same way then maybe they can atleast move it to another section that older kids are picking books from.

 

[Debi]

Hi gang! This post is more appropriate for the Community Board, so I am moving it over there. You can still continue to click on this link and it will automatically redirect you to the CB. Thanks!

 

[hlbtimes2]

While I'm not sure I would want my 2nd grader to check out a book like that, I would make the most of it if she did. As many of the others have said, we would use it as an chance to talk about what happened, which we already do.

One thing to keep in mind though, in 2nd grade they are learning to be independent. The teacher and librarian no longer look over every book they check out. Yes, they may direct them to a section that is for their reading level, but that doesnt mean much. My 7 year old 2nd grader reads at a 6th grade level. Yes, 6th grade. What she is likely to find in those books is very different from that of an average second grade book.

I'm not a bit surprised to find that book was in the library. I'm guessing the school goes to at least 5th, if not 6th grade.