Would you be upset if someone "stole" your present idea?

[mickeyfan2]

I am annoyed for you, so yes you should be very annoyed. If it was me, the box would be either sent right back, or give on Dec. 26 after Santa's gifts.

 

[maryliz]

I'm sorry that your MIL did this to you. It's even worse when it's not the MIL, but rather the FIL's "friend". She asked the kids last year what they were asking Santa for for Christmas. My DD really wanted a stuffed dog. So Santa also brought a dog bed, leash, collar, etc. I was so thrilled when DD came downstairs. An hour later, the family, including the "friend" come over, and isn't her gift another dog Hellllooo, when a child tells you they've asked Santa for something, CHECK with the PARENTS before buying the same thing. Now they're not identical, but I was po'd. She did the exact same thing to my DBIL's son ... yep, he got TWO microphones that day.

Later in the day, after a couple of glasses of wine, I told my DH that I thought DD's "other" new dog needed to pee, so I opened the patio door and pretended to throw it out in the snow I still hate that dog every time I see it ... and when it finds it place on the dog bed that Santa brought for his dog, let's just say the other one ends up behind the bunk beds!

I'd probably go along with your DH's idea, but I would make DH call his mother and tell her that it really did ruin what you wanted to be a wonderful surprise. And yeah, edit the lists next year.

MaryLiz

 

[agnes!]

Wow, this is a tough situation...hmmmm....

When the package arrives, open it up and see if the telescope has the features you wanted. Is it a cheap 'scope that won't grab the planets in the needed detail or is it a top of the line one from a scientific supply company? Maybe if it is what your DD wants/needs, your DH should call up his mother and tell her you all appreciate her generosity, he opened it because he wanted to check for damage and the 'scope is SO nice that Santa has decided to bring it!

If it's not what your DD wants/needs, your DH calls up his mother, tells her you all appreciate her generosity, but the 'scope is not quite what her beloved g-daughter asked for and does she want him to mail it back so she can return it or wait until she comes for Christmas? And then he can suggest that Grandma get a small gift card for your DD's favorite store and your MIL & DD can go on a "just-them" special shopping trip.

Next year, don't show your problematic MIL any of the Santa gift ideas.

I can't remember...if she is bringing the 'scope with her and you can't check it out beforehand, your DH should call her, do the "appreciate generosity" spiel, tell her he has already bought DD a 'scope and maybe a gift card/shopping trip for MIL & DD would be better, something special, etc.

And, while she may be a pain and rude and inconsiderate and selfish and etc., at least she's alive and she (maybe, sort of ) tried to be nice. It looks like she knows on some level that what she did might not be appropriate, she might be dreading some sort of fireworks from *you*. If your DH heads off any possible unpleasantness and the two of you are nice...you've gained and she will probably think twice about taking over the family's Christmas reins next year.
By the way - my ILs are both dead and I wish I could show them what a wonderful grandaughter they have and how much I love their son.

agnes!

 

[Marseeya]

How did MIL get hold of the list anyway? You can bet I'd be mad too. My mom has tried pulling that stuff, but she learned and now she'll run things by me first.

MIL, on the other hand, doesn't give the kids their gifts. We don't spend Christmas out there, so she won't mail them right away. Usually she'll get them out between 6 months to a year late. Most of the time, the clothes don't fit and once in a while the toys are too young for the kids at that point. DS wanted a crayola crayon maker when he was 11, and she bought it right away even though I wanted to buy it. She finally mailed it when he was 13 and had no interest in it.

 

[NMAmy]

Frankly, I think I'd take her name off the gift and put Santa's name on it. I'd email her back and say that it was very kind of her to buy Santa's gift this year.

That was just very rude of her--and yeah, I'd be p.o.'d.

Ok, I'm quoting myself because I re-thought my reply. You have more than one child so your dd will be hurt if Grandma has sent gifts to the other kids but my idea would make it appear that she DIDN'T send a gift at all which would be hurtful to your child. And nobody wants that at Christmas (or anytime really.)

I would now suggest letting your DH handle the situation with his mother. If he's ok with getting your dd another gift from Santa in order to avoid rocking the boat with his mother, then go for it. And now you know for the future--don't let her see any of your ideas for Santa gifts.

It's Christmas and even though I feel your MIL was very rude to buy a gift from Santa that she knew about in advance, in the interest of family harmony--in reality, I'd let it go.

I do this a lot in real life, too, I have mean ideas but I rarely act on them. I think it out and then I do the more diplomatic thing--but thinking about what I COULD have done just makes me feel better!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I guess age has mellowed me. When my dd (now 16) was a baby, I can picture being really annoyed, especially if it was my mother in law who did it. But now, if someone gets my boys (now 5) a gift that I aleady got, I look to it as a chance to get them something else on their endless list. I am just happy that someone loves my kids enough to want to get them something.

It's Christmas, and being angry or vindictive isn't what the season is about.

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

Intercept the package and switch gifts. Pick something you've already gotten for DD and put MIL's name on it. Then put the telescope (either yours or hers) under the tree from Santa and do what the others have suggested –– thank MIL for buying her a gift she wanted from Santa. This way, she gets a gift from Grandma AND the telescope from Santa.

 

[SeeDisney]

Maybe her intention was to help you out????

 

[cinmell]

I would be very ticked off. The Santa gift is just not to be messed with!!!

 

[Skylarr29]

That was beyond rude and I would return it to her or to the store from which it came!! Maybe thats because my ex's mother was such a ....... If you told her not to then it was done intentinally to make you angry and it was very disrespectful. I would just send it back to her and tell her I am sorry but I already purchased the one she wanted.

 

[debbiedoo]

I know exactly what you are going through -- she sounds like my MIL!! and that's scary!!

I would put her in her and place and show her. Not to mention your hubby needs to put in the input to her. If it comes from him it would mean a lot more

good luck

 

[rbuzzotta]

My MIL did the same thing. My girls had duplicates of just about everything!!! It was a pain in the butt, but we just returned gifts.

It was always and "I got the best present or spent the most money" with my MIL and it really turned me and DH off. To us Christmas presents come from the heart and it is truly the thought not the amount!! My girls are beginning to realize this now and my oldest has figured it all out about the Santa gift and MIL gift thing!!! It is funny now but it surey ticked us off then!! And my oldest can't believe I put up with it!!! LOL!!

Good luck, I feel your pain!!

 

[mudnuri]

Honestly, I wouldnt be pissed, or think it was rude, might I be upset, sure...but I'd get over it pretty darn quickly.

So santa cant bring the telescope...thats not the only thing on the list- have santa bring something else, big deal, so the kid ends up with more presents than before..

At times like this I'm glad I can let it roll...and i would NEVER have DH speak to his mother regarding something like this- I would handle it if it bothered me enough...but it wouldnt so I wouldnt even have to handle it.

I dont see how putting your husband against his mother 1 week before christmas can be a good thing...heck i dont see it being good at all...

Oh well, off my soap box

Brandy

 

[Zurealsoon]

Frankly, I think I'd take her name off the gift and put Santa's name on it. I'd email her back and say that it was very kind of her to buy Santa's gift this year.

 

[cats7494]

Yes, I would be upset - it is not about the present itself - but the fact that she knew you were buying that for your child and you asked her not to...and she did it anyway...she showed a disregard for your request - and that is not acceptable.

 

[ChristmasElf]

So Next year, you leave your list laying around with a new CAR, and a college education as the first 2 items on the list!

 

[lulugirl]

Your MIL is obnoxious, sorry.

 

[cats mom]

I think I'd go with your DH's plan and just get another Santa gift.

Does that mean I've graduated to the older, more mellow group?

The MIL gift is always bigger and better than the Santa OR Mom & Dad gift around here. It upset me at first, but I've learned to roll with it. She doesn't get to see the kids much and has always done a HUGE Christmas (gift-wise) for her family. I don't think she's trying to be mean or spiteful when she 'steals' our ideas, she just wants to get the kids something really special.

My hope is that as the kids get older they'll remember and value the time we spend together on all our Chritmas traditions more than who gave them what specific gift one year.

Besides, I figure maybe the teen age DD's might just let me borrow their new handbags occasionlly. One is getting a Dooney, the other a Coach this year. No way DH and I (or Santa) would have sprung for those!

Good Luck, just be sure to think it through before you act.

 

[christinou]

When my older DD was turning 2 I was 7 months pregnant, right before her birthday I mentionned to my MIL how excited I was, that I had bough her a AG bitty baby to give her at the hospital when the new baby arrived. Take a wild guess at what she gave my daughter on her second birthday, 2 months prior to me giving it to her. the exact samme bitty baby, and the exact same set of clothes. I actually cried at my DD birthday party I was so ticked, and of course hormonal at the same time.

So in answer to the OP, you bet I would be mad.....

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would not be happy! Besides bring rude to you and going against what you said, telecopes are not created equal and she might have gotten something junky since she only seemed to be concerned about the price she was paying fot it. When it comes I would figure out if it's even worth having. If it is, I might have that present be from Santa or get something else to be from Santa. If it's junk, tell her you are sending it back to her or need the receipt so you can exchange it since it isn't what you had in mind and that you already had one picked out.