would you be miffed?

powellrj

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Mar 2, 2003
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20,254
I'll start this by saying the kids I am talking about are a teenager in highschool and a pre-teen.

We were invited to my aunt and uncles 50th wedding ann. party for this saturday night. Ok, its not a good night for us and both of my kids had made other plans. I had already RSVPed that we would be there. My cousin called to confirm and as we were ending the call, she said to have to kids bring a movie or something to do because they had hired a babysitter for the kids. Then she hung up. Ok, my aunt and uncle are devote christians so there will be no drinking etc going on that the kids shouldn't be around. Her kids are just a couple of years older than my kids, but they are still teenagers only they are married with kids. I can understand having a babysitter for the small children. But my kids aren't small children. I would have left them at home and let them go with their friends if I had known they wouldn't be included. I don't feel I can call and back out at this late date, DH said we'll just go and eat and then leave before the kids are sent to the babysitters house. Come on, my kids ARE babysitters, they don't GO to babysitters. Would you be miffed?
 
Yeah, I would be. Is is possible to let your kids do what they had originally planned?
 
Its about 2 hours away, but if we leave early DS could still go bowling with his friends. DD would have to miss her sleepover. I would just cancel if I didn't know it was a catered dinner and they had to have a head count.
 
My girls are the youngest of their coursins. At family gatherings, the older cousins tend to get saddled with the younger ones. They enjoy it, but can get sick of it easily. Maybe your cousin hired the sitter for the smaller children just so that the older kids can enjoy the party.

I would really appreciate someone hosting a party hiring a sitter. That way I would know the kids are having a good time, and that I don't have to spend the evening worrying about them.

Maybe she suggested the movie in case the older kids get bored with what is going on at the party. I can't imagine that if the kids are behaving well and not bothering their parents, that the host would expect them not to participate in the party happenings.

I hope you have a good time.

Denae
 

nope, her exact words were, "have your kids bring a movie so that when leave to go to the sitters they will have something to do." I think hiring a sitter for their grandchildren is nice. They are all under 5. I would never dream of sending someones teenagers to a babysitter.
 
i agree with you..i wonder why they cant just stay with you guys?! Seems very strange to me, and i know that if i was sent to a babysitter when i was a teen, i wouldnt be happy either
 
powellrj said:
nope, her exact words were, "have your kids bring a movie so that when leave to go to the sitters they will have something to do." I think hiring a sitter for their grandchildren is nice. They are all under 5. I would never dream of sending someones teenagers to a babysitter.

In that case, I would either not make the kids go or I would have them come for dinner and then take them to a movie or something. I would not expect my older kids to go off with a sitter. And, I am not too keen on sending my kids away to another location with someone I don't even know.

Denae
 
I think I would call and try to nicely ask alittle more info. I'd tell them your kids are at an age they really aren't comfortable going to a sitters. I would just tell her you misunderstood and thought your children were going to be included the entire evening. I'd really try to do it as nice as possible though so not to stir the pot too much. This way maybe you can come to an agreement on this.
 
I would try to figure out a way to work it so that your kids can still do their original plans. Is there any way that they can go to their friends house early and you can head to your get together?

I would then tell your cousin that, as she probably understands since her kids aren't much older, your kids are too old for a babysitter, so they're going to do what they'd originally planned on doing that evening.

If if doesn't work for your kids to be with their friends I would talk to your cousin and explain that your kids will be staying with you (assuming that's what your kids want to do) and that I'm sure she understands since her teens will not be be going to the babysitting house. Maybe have your kids bring a book or video game in case they get bored.

I understand having a sitter for the young children, but kind of strange that they expect your older kids to go there.

I agree, don't make a big deal about it since no harm was probably meant by it.
 
I would just leave your kids at home. Why force them to come to a party if they are not even included in the celebration. The host doesn't sound like they want the kids there anyways. I don't think they will be offended if you don't bring them along.
 
I think I would've definitey been surprised! Do you think your cousin was trying to imply something about your kids? Why invite the whole family only to ship off these older kids to sitters?? I think 12 and older is old enough to behave at a grown-up FAMILY function.

I would've said something right away to that cousin-just out of sheer confusion! Can you call that cousin back and ask for 'clarification' (just as an excuse to call back and address this subject) and then tell her your kids are probably too old for a sitter and if the festivities don't include them then they might be better off at home (or resuming their original plans though the cousin doesn't need all that info.)
 
Tigger&Belle said:
I would try to figure out a way to work it so that your kids can still do their original plans. Is there any way that they can go to their friends house early and you can head to your get together?

I would then tell your cousin that, as she probably understands since her kids aren't much older, your kids are too old for a babysitter, so they're going to do what they'd originally planned on doing that evening.

If if doesn't work for your kids to be with their friends I would talk to your cousin and explain that your kids will be staying with you (assuming that's what your kids want to do) and that I'm sure she understands since her teens will not be be going to the babysitting house. Maybe have your kids bring a book or video game in case they get bored.

I understand having a sitter for the young children, but kind of strange that they expect your older kids to go there.

I agree, don't make a big deal about it since no harm was probably meant by it.



I totally agree.
 
I wouldn't do anything beforehand but when they started to round the children up to go to the sitters I would just say "My children are too old to go to the sitters and they'd rather stay with the adults". If they didn't want your kids to stay with the adults then I'd make my excuses and the whole family would leave.
I'm guessing that with the older children they were going to give them an option anyway but truthfully, when my dd was your kids' age she would rather have taken a video and went to the sitters. But then she likes messing with kids and doesn't mind all the noise and whatnot involved in being around them.
 
powellrj said:
nope, her exact words were, "have your kids bring a movie so that when leave to go to the sitters they will have something to do." I think hiring a sitter for their grandchildren is nice. They are all under 5. I would never dream of sending someones teenagers to a babysitter.
Has this cousin seen your kids lately? Maybe she remebers them at the age she last saw them & doesn't realize their current age/maturity level.
 
Just wondering how this turned out?
 
Well, I worried for nothing because he ended up with a fever of 103 and he and DH both stayed home sick!! He would have been expected to go to the babysitters because they wanted only adults in the room when they did a "this is your life" for my aunt and uncle. While I hate that he was sick, it really worked out well. My DD made friends with one of the granddaughters who was only a few years younger than she was and they bonded over the Lizzy Mcquire movie.

Because their kids are all married, I think that they had forgotten that teenagers take anything they see as a slight very personal. I kept telling him it wasn't anything personal, but he didn't see that way.

I am glad that my DD and I went because I think it meant a lot to my aunt and uncle, but when all is said and done, it worked out for the best that DS stayed home.
 
I'm glad it worked out, but it's strange that they forced all the kids to leave. You'd think they'd make it optional, at least for the teenagers.
 
I can understand not wanting little kids around for "this is your life" (whatever that is), but teens? Glad it worked out ok!
 
Thanks or the update. I still think it's strange they were sending teenagers to a babysitter.
 


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