Would you be mad at your spouse for this?

My DH would get mad. Everyone knows he doesn't like surprises or parties, so I know enough not to attempt that. I just ask him what he wants to do for his birthday & we do that. His mom, on the other hand...his b-day was Wednesday, and he wanted nothing more than to take the day off, stay home and relax. Well, his mom & stepdad bugged him all morning about wanting to go out. They were banging on the door. So he finally gave in to get them to stop harrassing him. As expected, he had a miserable time & came home with a pounding headache. :headache: Too bad they made his day about them & not about him.

So, if your DH is the great guy you say he is, give him a great b-day by doing what HE wants to do, not what YOU want him to do. :thumbsup2
 
I would be angry, but would not hold a grudge about it.

You know your spouse the best. I hope he enjoys it. Sounds like a party to me..:yay:
 
There's a middle ground between doing something dramatic and a surprise party. Rent a boat and tell your husband to take his buddies and go fishing. Get him 4 tickets to a ballgame and tell him to take his friends and have a guy's night out.

Then have cake and presents at home with the nearest and dearest.
 
I BEGGED my DH to throw me a party for my 30th a couple of years go. One of my friends even offered to help him plan it. He told her he was pretty sure I didn't want a party. I could have killed him. My birthday actually fell on a Saturday. I gave him the names of a few places that catered for parties for a pretty good price. All day, I kept thinking that he was going to suggest we go out to one of those places. 6 pm rolled around and he asked if I wanted to go out for dinner and if so, where - a real place or Chick-fil-a. I thought it was a joke and told him that CFA sounded great. He actually took me there. I thought - hm, maybe he got our friends to meet up here and he got some party platters. That's OK, not exactly what I had in mind, but I really just wanted to get everyone together. Nope. He ordered his combo and turned to me to place my order. I cried as soon as we got back out to the car. I told him 2 months is advance (and reminded him 1 month in advance) that all I wanted for my b-day was a party. I didn't ask for anything else. I didn't want gadgets, clothes or jewelry. Just a party. I was so mad and that sob for a long time.
I still comment on it from time to time, but more of less as a sad joke than actual anger. Maybe I'll actually get him to throw me a party for my 35th.

So, to answer your question, OP, I would LOVE for someone to throw me a surprise b-day party!
 

I would be angry! I would hold a grudge, it would be so bad for my husband if he threw me a surprise party.

We're actually going to a surprise party for a friend tomorrow, but I'm sure he'll love it because he loves being the center of attention. ;) Me, not so much.
 
My uncle and cousin threw my aunt a surprise 50th birthday party (which she didn't want). We yelled "surprise", she turned around and left. We had a great party at a restaurant without her:confused3
 
Would "I" be mad if "my spouse" threw "me" a surprise party, YES YES YES, but its b/c I HATE HATE HATE surprises, not b/c I like to know whats going on, I just can stand being the center of attention and I am SO uncomfortable in these situations. I even hated haveing a wedding shower thrown for me:scared1:


I did throw DH a 40th surprise party and HE LOVED IT, well of wht he remembers :drinking1
 
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My uncle and cousin threw my aunt a surprise 50th birthday party (which she didn't want). We yelled "surprise", she turned around and left. We had a great party at a restaurant without her:confused3

Sorry but I think that was terrible of her.
 
If I told my husband I wanted nothing and he threw a party, I would be upset. I would be much happier with a quiet dinner for two.

Kim
 
Everyone's different but my husband would be really, really mad at me - and he has almost no temper at all..... BUT, part of the reason he has never had a party in the 22 yrs we've been together is he doesnt like them (he doesn't like to be the center of attention), plain and simple. The party itself might not upset him as much as thinking about how I hadn't listened to him....

Anyway, hope that it goes well and tell him we all say happy b-day!
You described my DH and I to a T. We both hate to be the center of attention. We had a total of 22 people at our wedding (counting us)!
It works out well because we don't plan parties for each other.

OP - Try to feel him out about the party idea. Good luck and I hope everyone ends up happy.
 
I hate being the center of attention so if Dh threw me a party, I'd be upset. I would not hold it against him forever. But I'd rather spend my birthday some other way.

A few years ago our next-door neighbor threw her dh a surprise 30th party. He walked in the house, saw it was a party for him, and walked right back out to his car and sped out of there as fast as he could.
 
Mine has stated that he never wants a surprise party, and I respect that. He hates being the centre of attention, and the only way we had a party for his 40th is that one of his best mates was 40, 2 days after him, they work together as well, so they threw a joint party and so the attention was deflected and my hubby was comfortable.

You have to be able to read these things right, or it can be a horrible mess.
 
My uncle and cousin threw my aunt a surprise 50th birthday party (which she didn't want). We yelled "surprise", she turned around and left. We had a great party at a restaurant without her :confused3

She said she didn't want it. She was given it anyway. What's confusing?

It's pretty offensive to have been candid about something you really do not want and want to make sure doesn't happen, only to be handed it and judged for not appreciating it as a loving gesture.

It's a more expensive version of "honey, what would you like for your birthday dinner?" "Anything but fish would be great!" Then "Surprise -- we're having TROUT!" followed by "I can't believe his attitude when I went to all that trouble making a nice trout dinner!"
 
I would be very upset if that happened to me. My wife knows that I do not like, or want b-day parties.

Never been my thing and very clear about it over the 17 years we have been together. If she pulled something like this, it would be a major issue with us to work out.

If I was the OP, I would not do this. I would talk to your DH and try to set up a nice dinner with friends or something, but in the end, respect what HE wants, not what you want.
 
My DH meant well and planned a suprise party for me... ONCE.

Never mind the fact that I told him that I hate suprises and don't need anything.

He had all our friends (FROM CHURCH) come over. We went in the side door as always, and walked through the kitchen. I saw tons of stuff on the counters and kept on asking him why did he make such a big mess, can't he ever clean up etc... (I like my kitchen clean--what can I say?)

And EVERYONE hears this whole thing.. :blush:

At least everyone was gracious enough to pretend they didn't hear it.

I told him later to never suprise me again.. and he has held up his end of the bargain.
 
I would be a little upset that I wasn't listened to. DH, on the other hand, would love having a surprise party. For major occasions, I would much rather travel somewhere (doesn't have to be somewhere expensive) than have a party.

A friend of a friend tells a funny story about her surprise 50th birthday party. She came home from work and really had to pee so as soon as she got in the door, she started taking off her pantyhose (back in the days when people still wore them). She had them down around her ankles when everyone jumped out and yelled, "Surprise."
 
IMO only if the person specified no parties. Like for my 50th. I didn't/ wasn't handling turning 50 very well and I specified no party. My wishes were granted and I was fine. I would of been upset if no one listened to me.

But if the person never said anything about it, then sure, why not.
 
Jennifer,

It's done. Good or bad outcome. Just keep reminding yourself that you planned it out of love and it's done.

So don't stress yourself out. Have fun. And I loved the PP suggestion of making sure he's happy beforehand. :rotfl: :lmao:

Have a wonderful time Jennifer,

Lisa
 
You described my DH and I to a T. We both hate to be the center of attention. We had a total of 22 people at our wedding (counting us)!
It works out well because we don't plan parties for each other.

OP - Try to feel him out about the party idea. Good luck and I hope everyone ends up happy.

We ARE pretty similar, but we took it even furhter. We canceled our original wedding plans and eloped.....:rotfl:
 

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