Would you be annoyed?

[Allison]

You seem extremely worried about appearances. Do you honestly think your guests thought less of you because someone ordered a different drink especially since you say it would be okay if they went to the bar to get it anyway? Do you think they gave a second thought to the fact that someone ate before the party? You are making something an issue that isn't an issue.

 

[Boxley]

The bar was just outside the door to the party room. Glass doors. It was about 5 feet from the room. People had to leave the room to go to the bathroom.

I gripe about him because my sister was not like that at all before she met and married him.

IMO the host of the party should not be made aware that the food and drink provided were not to your liking. It should and could be done discreetly. Not in front of the host and other guests.

Then it seems that the real issue is not the party itself but rather your feelings towards your BIL which is irrelevant to the situation at hand.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The bar was just outside the door to the party room. Glass doors. It was about 5 feet from the room. People had to leave the room to go to the bathroom.

I gripe about him because my sister was not like that at all before she met and married him.

IMO the host of the party should not be made aware that the food and drink provided were not to your liking. It should and could be done discreetly. Not in front of the host and other guests.

But by ordering shots--your guests are guilty of the same thing. You didn't have shots on the menu. They wanted that--so they went to the bar and got them.

You can't be discreet about a shot glass when shots aren't on the menu. The appearance of them will indicate that the guest who obtained it wasn't satisfied with your generous menu.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You seem extremely worried about appearances. Do you honestly think your guests thought less of you because someone ordered a different drink especially since you say it would be okay if they went to the bar to get it anyway? Do you think they gave a second thought to the fact that someone ate before the party? You are making something an issue that isn't an issue.

I'm going out on a limb here---

I'm sure the OP in the situation chats about her annoying BIL frequently. So his actions are subject to scrutiny by her other guests b/c she calls attention to them. Even if those actions (such as ordering his own drink) impact other people in no way at all. Surprisingly, they too are just as guilty of ordering off menu--but they had the decency to depart the party and do so discreetly even though their beverage of choice was in a unique glass.

What is good for the goose is apparently not good enough for her other guests. But they had to decency to be "discreet"--though drinking shots that are off menu--I can't see how that is possible. At least BIL could enjoy his beer just as much as anyone else.

 

[jrmasm]

The bar was just outside the door to the party room. Glass doors. It was about 5 feet from the room. People had to leave the room to go to the bathroom.

I gripe about him because my sister was not like that at all before she met and married him.

IMO the host of the party should not be made aware that the food and drink provided were not to your liking. It should and could be done discreetly. Not in front of the host and other guests.

I think leaving the room to get a different drink is ruder. But I wouldn't get bent out of shape over that either.

This is not big deal IMO. At least he didn't stick you with the tab.

 

[Kelrykengab]

Did your hubby enjoy his party?

 

[Toad_Passenger]

I'm sorry the OP feels the way they do. I have requested beers that are not listed on several occasions. So long as I'm picking up the tab on them, I don't see the big deal.

I will be the first to admit that I'm a beer snob. I brew my own beer at home, and pretty much everything I buy comes from a foreign country, or a small microbrewery in the States. Anheuser-Busch, Coors, Miller, are all curse words in our house.

 

[disneystacy]

I'm sorry the OP feels the way they do. I have requested beers that are not listed on several occasions. So long as I'm picking up the tab on them, I don't see the big deal.

I will be the first to admit that I'm a beer snob. I brew my own beer at home, and pretty much everything I buy comes from a foreign country, or a small microbrewery in the States. Anheuser-Busch, Coors, Miller, are all curse words in our house.

LOL, I totally get that, but we have been to my BIL home and he drinks Corona and Coors, he does what he does to be a PITA, thus why it is done in front of others.

Just like telling everyone he was wearing a kilt to his wedding instead of a tux. (BTW he is not Irish or Scottish). Just to be "different".

 

[disneystacy]

Did your hubby enjoy his party?

Yes he did, thanks for asking.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'm sorry the OP feels the way they do. I have requested beers that are not listed on several occasions. So long as I'm picking up the tab on them, I don't see the big deal.

I will be the first to admit that I'm a beer snob. I brew my own beer at home, and pretty much everything I buy comes from a foreign country, or a small microbrewery in the States. Anheuser-Busch, Coors, Miller, are all curse words in our house.

Well, well being from MO, I have to comment that AB is In-Bev now, so you can have your Bud Light.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Stacy,

So What.....

Your BIL may be a huge PITA, BLOWHARD, JERK, SON-OF-GUN....
If he is, I suspect everyone around knows this.

SO WHAT!
BIG DEAL!


The issues here clearly lie with you.

 

[MM27]

I don't think your BIL was wrong at all. If he insisted that he not pay, then that would have been a different story. The fact that he was fine with running his own tab makes it fine.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

Well, well being from MO, I have to comment that AB is In-Bev now, so you can have your Bud Light.

<beersnob> It's still lightly hopped, rice water </beersnob>

 

[RainbowBrite]

I don't understand the big deal. I don't like beer or wine, I'm a vodka and cranberry kind of girl. So that would offend you if I choose to order and pay for a different beverage than the ones you provided?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

<beersnob> It's still lightly hopped, rice water </beersnob>

Oh I know, it is just my dig at AB no longer being American. I am sure you understand this as I am coming from St. Louis.

 

[Chuck S]

If I was having a party at my home, they would be drinking what me the host provided, why is it different if I am paying for drinks out somewhere?

I would still think it was rude even if it was someone I liked.

They paid for it, they were not rude. There was a full bar available, they wanted a particular drink, and paid for it. Many gatherings at restaurants/bars offer limited included selctions for party guests, but a full cash bar is available if someone chooses to use it. No big deal.

When most folks around here throw a party in their home, and someoe doesn't care for the particular choices offered, they often BYOB.

For instance, I don't care for most beers. Frozen drinks give ma a terrible brain freeze, so if you were having a a party at a place that offered a full bar, but your offerings included only beer or frozen margaritas, I would probably order a margarita on the rocks and would pay for it. How is that rude?

 

[sbell111]

LOL, I totally get that, but we have been to my BIL home and he drinks Corona and Coors, he does what he does to be a PITA, thus why it is done in front of others.

Perhaps he simply felt like drinking something else for a change. I mostly order water at restaurants, but had a coke with dinner last night.

Just like telling everyone he was wearing a kilt to his wedding instead of a tux. (BTW he is not Irish or Scottish). Just to be "different".

I bolded the bit that makes this a non-issue.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Oh please. When you pair calling someone insane with also saying that you can't understand why somebody would do something like that, you were not telling me I made a brilliant choice.

you're obviously just trying to continue an argument with me.

and i never specifically called YOU insane.....

Actually, chicken, pasta and cheap chard sounds wonderful. One of my favorite meals is chicken alfredo and some the best chards are the $10.00 a bottle ones. I love a glass of Yellowtail chard. And there are some great New Zealand chards out there that are really reasonable.

I just thought it funny that LIC said she knew what everybody served, so everybody should eat it as it would be palatable and would have no reason to ask for something else because there would always be something for everybody.

We have been to some doozies of parties where the hosts fancy themselves gourmet chefs and prepare a menu that can be quite bizarre. Believe me, I wish they would have served chicken and pasta. So, there are many dinner parties out there that do not serve anything that is remotely edible

and as i've said CLEARLY other times, which everyone else in this thread caught and understood besides you, is that there are a LOT of people who enjoy chicken and pasta. i didn't say "everyone loves chicken and pasta"

i think you need to have some of that cheap wine right about now and relax.....

 

[crashbb]

you're obviously just trying to continue an argument with me.

and i never specifically called YOU insane.....

You are really going to try to pull that crap?

Saying "people who do X" are insane and then telling someone who does X, that you didn't call THEM insane is laughably illogical. And annoying.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

You are really going to try to pull that crap?

Saying "people who do X" are insane and then telling someone who does X, that you didn't call THEM insane is laughably illogical. And annoying.

and taking an obvious figure of speech so literally isn't illogical and annoying?