Would you be annoyed?

[Lisa loves Pooh]

now see that's EXACTLY what i thought should have happened! the MOM should have done something beforehand so the hostess wouldn't have to go out of her way to make something else. now that, i can completely agree with you on.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

That's what I've learned, as well. I've also learned that it's rude to make your host feel as though they aren't showing you enough hospitality.

I agree with this!

I just don't see his ordering a drink that he wants as doing this. I think the OP doesn't like him, and was finding something to be irritated about. I don't think anyone else would have even noticed, and certainly not been offended.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

she's mentioned that he's done it before, and that his behavior is usually less than appealing. he does it JUST because he KNOWS it angers/annoys people. so in that case, if YOU had someone in your life that constantly did something like that, i'm SURE you would understand.

she didn't explain the scenario correctly. as i said, i have a DSIL who does similar things. so i understand where she's coming from. i'm not saying i scream and say nasty things to my DSIL, i just wait until i get home, vent to my DH about it, and then i get on with it.

Really? You know the OP's BIL personally, so you are sure he does it just to annoy people?

And you know the situation so well that you can confidently say that the OP explained it wrong? You know the situation better than the OP?

I think you are projecting your BIL issues into your posts.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

And now you presume to know what everybody makes for their guests?

I can't remember a dinner party that had chicken and pasta and cheap wine.

Last one I went to was Beef Tenderloin with Bearnaise sauce, quail and other not usual home cooking accompaniments.

The wine served was a Cakebread Cab.

*note--do not invite Mickey's Minion over for dinner. MM will scoff at my pasta and chicken and cheap chardonnay.

 

[Boxley]

this has been an ongoing part of the conversation thruout the thread. people have brought up both being out at a restaurant AND being at home as a host/hostess.....if you're gonna get angry, get angry at everyone about it, not just me.
QUOTE]

Who said I was angry? I am merely pointing something out. Did you choose offended that I directed by statement towards you for that was not my intention.


Just as the intention of the BIL was not to annoy the OP but rather to have a drink he liked.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

what? the only time i'd EVER pay for a $15 glass of wine is if it was something like an anniversary or a birthday, i wouldn't just randomly go to a restaurant and order a $15 drink, that's insane!

....point me in the direction of where i called you stupid, please.

Sorry, you called me insane. Pretty much the same as stupid.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Not everyone though.

And while the answer to whether I get angered by her--yes, I still do--but I have also learned that there are some things that warrant anger (hello death announcement, why did they not tell me!!!!!) and other things that warrant laughing over her blatant disregard for common manners and decency.

But alas--the OP asked if she was overreacting and it seems most are in agreement that she did.

Does it make her a bad person? No, it doesn't.

But you can't change other people, you can only change herself.

This is guaranteed to happen again in the future and she has the choice to be the bigger person and just let it go.

It doesn't mean we haven't gotten mad in the past or wont' get mad in the future--but it seems that each of us have repeat rude offenders in our families and since we cannot change them, the best thing to do is let it go.

OP didn't ask if she was a bad person--she asked if she overreacted. I and others stand by our statements that she overreacted and all of your presented scenarios and hyptotheticals have nothing to do with her situation as presented.

i'm just giving those scenarios because i'm sure there have been other instances where her BIL has done other things that were rude, and this one just kind of set her off. it was something so small, and so stupid, i totally agree, but i can understand where she's coming from.

i've gotten angry at stupid things before. and sometimes they're REALLY stupid....but it happens and you eventually get over it.

i do appreciate you being cordial thru all of this, because it seems like other people are just being flat out rude to me about my different opinion.

And now you presume to know what everybody makes for their guests?

I can't remember a dinner party that had chicken and pasta and cheap wine.

Last one I went to was Beef Tenderloin with Bearnaise sauce, quail and other not usual home cooking accompaniments.

The wine served was a Cakebread Cab.

i said MOST PEOPLE. why are you getting so rude? you're the only one who's really been getting nasty about this whole thing. everyone else, even with different opinions, have at least been kind about it.

and i'm glad you had beef tenderloin.....last time i hosted i cooked corned beef and cabbage with potatoes and the wine was Lambrusco. idk if you consider that "cheap" but it's my favorite kind......

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sorry, you called me insane. Pretty much the same as stupid.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

....point me in the direction of where i called you stupid, please.

May not have called them stupid, but you did call them insane.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

i'm just giving those scenarios because i'm sure there have been other instances where her BIL has done other things that were rude, and this one just kind of set her off. it was something so small, and so stupid, i totally agree, but i can understand where she's coming from.

i've gotten angry at stupid things before. and sometimes they're REALLY stupid....but it happens and you eventually get over it.

i do appreciate you being cordial thru all of this, because it seems like other people are just being flat out rude to me about my different opinion.

All that therapy over anger issues.

Though had this baby not finally turned head down, I'd be continuing my aggressions and risking more points this week.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

*note--do not invite Mickey's Minion over for dinner. MM will scoff at my pasta and chicken and cheap chardonnay.

ikr?? what was that all about??

Sorry, you called me insane. Pretty much the same as stupid.

no, actually insane people are usually very smart. now you're just putting words in my mouth.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Really? You know the OP's BIL personally, so you are sure he does it just to annoy people?

And you know the situation so well that you can confidently say that the OP explained it wrong? You know the situation better than the OP?

I think you are projecting your BIL issues into your posts.

i actually get along with my BIL great.........

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

*note--do not invite Mickey's Minion over for dinner. MM will scoff at my pasta and chicken and cheap chardonnay.

Papa John's pizza and Two Buck Chuck.

I'll choose the toppings. If you don't like it, tough.

 

[crashbb]

she's mentioned that he's done it before, and that his behavior is usually less than appealing. he does it JUST because he KNOWS it angers/annoys people. so in that case, if YOU had someone in your life that constantly did something like that, i'm SURE you would understand.

she didn't explain the scenario correctly. as i said, i have a DSIL who does similar things. so i understand where she's coming from. i'm not saying i scream and say nasty things to my DSIL, i just wait until i get home, vent to my DH about it, and then i get on with it.

The OP said that she would have been annoyed at anyone doing it (not just her BIL), so the history with her BIL is irrelevant (or she was lying when she said that it was personal and she'd be annoyed at anyone who ordered their own drink).

 

[Scurvy]

I agree with this!

I just don't see his ordering a drink that he wants as doing this. I think the OP doesn't like him, and was finding something to be irritated about. I don't think anyone else would have even noticed, and certainly not been offended.

I do agree, if he did it in a way that no one noticed then I wouldn't find it rude. I somehow got the impression that he made a big production of it but re-reading the OP I don't see that. Still, I think it would have been better if he had found a way to do it more subtly. Then he and the OP both would have ended up happy!

 

[mommyintn]

I know I'm coming into this late but my feelings are this:

The Best Beer is FREE Beer

If someone wants to be a beer snob (which is his right of course!) let him be, all that means is more beer for me!

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Papa John's pizza and Two Buck Chuck.

I'll choose the toppings. If you don't like it, tough.

that's one of my favorite dinners!!

The OP said that she would have been annoyed at anyone doing it (not just her BIL), so the history with her BIL is irrelevant (or she was lying when she said that it was personal and she'd be annoyed at anyone who ordered their own drink).

she mentioned somewhere in here that her BIL has done stuff like this before. i read thru most of the comments before i made any comment, myself, so i could understand why she would get angry over something so small. obviously there is something underlying BESIDES him ordering a drink.

 

[Minnie]

Total overreaction - as long as he didn't stick you with the check...

I have various food allergies and after speaking with my host have brought my own meal and drink to functions - it has never been an issue....

OP - Sounds like you're BIL isn't your favorite person but this really shouldn't be an issue.

 

[tinkerbell198530]

QUOTE=mommyintn;36129185]I know I'm coming into this late but my feelings are this:

The Best Beer is FREE Beer

If someone wants to be a beer snob (which is his right of course!) let him be, all that means is more beer for me! [/QUOTE]

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Total overreaction - as long as he didn't stick you with the check...

I have various food allergies and after speaking with my host have brought my own meal and drink to functions - it has never been an issue....

OP - Sounds like you're BIL isn't your favorite person but this really shouldn't be an issue.

food allergies is totally understandable tho. no one will argue with that.

that's why i said i think she didn't explain herself correctly. maybe if she had ORGINALLY came out and said "he's done stuff like this all the time and he's always making people feel bad" in the original post, maybe people would have thought different. she didn't say it until later and i can see where she's coming from, now.

sometimes there's just that ONE person that gets on your nerves, even doing stupid small things, you know? rather it be a co-worker, family member, etc. there's always SOMEONE that gets to us all the time no matter how much we try to not let them get under our skin.