Would you be annoyed?

[cinmell]

Out of curiosity, what did your sister and her husband order for drinks?

 

[bumbershoot]

I think its beyond rude. Like our selections don't measure up to his "tastes".
Meanwhile this guy had 2 buck chuck wine and coors beer for his wedding and no one said boo.
I was embarrassed that they did that especially in front of other guests.

You provided a selection that you were willing to pay for. He chose to not partake of those. Perhaps he doesn't like Coors anymore since his wedding...perhaps he wasn't in the mood for those beers (I haven't had Amstel in almost 20 years so I don't remember it, but the three others are fairly similar to each other)...perhaps having coors and that wine (which many people actually *like* even though it's inexpensive) weren't his choices?

Would be interesting to know what he did order...

Anyway, for our wedding, we had a choice of beers and wines that we would provide. We made those choices. We knew perfectly well that we might see people come from the restaurant area with their own drinks...we were fine with that. So what if what is to MY taste isn't to anyone else's? We made an effort to have different sorts of beers (one amber, one "golden", one dark), but we certainly knew that the RC cola this place provided wasn't going to cut it for our Coca Cola fiend friend, and knew that a few would run up and grab a Budweiser. Big whoop?

If I was having a party at my home, they would be drinking what me the host provided, why is it different if I am paying for drinks out somewhere?

I would still think it was rude even if it was someone I liked.

Plenty of people bring their own beer to parties, at least in this area. I've done it, others have done it at parties we've had. I don't care one little bit! It's not rude when they do it, and it's not rude when I do it. And it almost surely wasn't rude for your BIL to do it. His taste buds are different than yours. It's OK.

 

[Sanchez]

No Schlitz on the list?

I would have ordered my own beer as well.

 

[LoraJ]

It would not have offended me and I would have insisted on picking up his tab.

 

[pyrxtc]

I would have ordered something on my own too since I won't/don't drink anything on your list. I think you are out of line to get upset and he did right.

 

[Mandychelle79]

I would have ordered something else also.

I dont drink too many margaritas ( not my cup of tea)

My drink of choice is Bacardi and Coke or Bud Lite.

And if im attending a party at someones home I will take my own Bacardi and sometimes my own beer.

 

[ols386]

I don't know your BIL, obviously, but I didn't think it seemed rude, especially when he/they paid for it themselves.

But if the BIL truly is a jerk, then I would imagine he has done things in the past that were jerkish, and that's what ticked you off. If that's the case, I can probably understand why it might bother you.

 

[daughtersrus]

I don't think that it's rude.

Just yesterday, DH packed a cooler with a few beers in it as well as a few cans of Coke for me when we went to BIL's house. They usually have no-name pop and Heineken (DH calls it "skunk beer" ). They ended up having RC so I got myself a glass and poured my Coke into it. They had Sam Adams so DH drank that instead of the Point that he brought with.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I would not have been offended and would have paid for his drinks along with everything else. Although it's common here to have a few choices maybe for the food, the drinks are up to the guest. My preferred drinks weren't on your list either, so I would have asked for something else as well.

 

[MickeySP]

If I was having a party at my home, they would be drinking what me the host provided, why is it different if I am paying for drinks out somewhere?

Again it wasn't and he could order what he wanted. You didn't pay for his drinks so you can't dictate his preference. I sense big control issues.

BTW I agree with LoraJ, as a gracious host I would have offered to pick up his tab. He was MY guest.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I don't think it was rude exactly. I happen to get migraines from almost every drink out there so if I'm at a party I will either need to BYOB or order top shelf stuff like a Tanqueray & Tonic or ask that my mixed drinks be made with Belvedere and hover to make sure they don't give me cocktail juice instead of 100% cranberry juice. It's an expensive pain in the sitter so I will pick up my own tab, but it's not meant as a snub... also my DH will often join me so I'm not an outcast. I do tend to do this quietly though, so as not to make a scene. If your BIL really came off sounding like a snob the only person he embarrassed was himself.


Try to let this sort of thing slide for both your and your sister's sakes, there is no way you can speak about this with other people and not end up sounding like you have it in for your sister's husband, and that won't end well for you.

 

[alexandria674]

Sorry, but you are overreacting. At least he didn't put the drinks on your tab or get totally sloshed. I probably would not have even noticed, besides what is really bothering you?

 

[grumpeeduck]

When you are an invited guest at a party, you participate in what is offered and don't ASK FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. That is just tacky! I am actually embarrassed FOR them! They need a dose of some good, Southern manners and etiquette!

 

[mrsklamc]

When you are an invited guest at a party, you participate in what is offered and don't ASK FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. That is just tacky! I am actually embarrassed FOR them! They need a dose of some good, Southern manners and etiquette!

Nope. Etiquette is what, in general, the members of a society find to be polite. The vast majority of people would find OP to be over-reacting, therefore, the BIL's manners are just fine.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

When you are an invited guest at a party, you participate in what is offered and don't ASK FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. That is just tacky! I am actually embarrassed FOR them! They need a dose of some good, Southern manners and etiquette!

Your "southern manners" are bully behavior. Time to see the light.

 

[Art 1]

Would not bother me one bit.

 

[alexandria674]

When you are an invited guest at a party, you participate in what is offered and don't ASK FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. That is just tacky! I am actually embarrassed FOR them! They need a dose of some good, Southern manners and etiquette!

Sorry, going to have to disagree with you here. If the BIL ordered a drink and had it run on the OP's tab, it would have been very rude, however the BIL ordered the beer on his own dime without troubling the OP.

 

[Scurvy]

If I were in your brother in law's position, I'd accept the hospitality that my host was offering unless I physically couldn't due to allergy issues or the like. As a host, if a guest behaved the way he did I'd be a little bit irritated but not enough to worry about it later. It certainly wasn't the most polite thing he could have done but it probably wouldn't occur to him that he was implying that your hospitality was insufficient.

 

[doxdogy]

However a southern host/hostess with good manners will make sure that the drinks provided are something that each and every guest will drink and will be embarrassed by their lack of manners for not providing something a guest will drink.

When you are an invited guest at a party, you participate in what is offered and don't ASK FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. That is just tacky! I am actually embarrassed FOR them! They need a dose of some good, Southern manners and etiquette!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

When you are an invited guest at a party, you participate in what is offered and don't ASK FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. That is just tacky! I am actually embarrassed FOR them! They need a dose of some good, Southern manners and etiquette!

At a restaurant..ummm....the guests were not the ones being tacky.

If hostess did not want the open menu to be offered, then she probably should have taken it up with the restaurant so that the server would have known not to offer it. That isn't unheard of.

But in any case--it isn't rude b/c he paid for it on his own.