Would ya'll mind giving a quick thought to Christian?

Thank you all. We submitted our paperwork for a temporary transition program. They might be able to give us some weekend respite and they have offered some occasional week's respite. That would be better than nothing. If we could even get every weekend, plus a few weeks per year we might be able to drag along a bit longer. But ultimately, Christian will have to go live elsewhere. It's not reasonable to think that aging parents are going to be able to continue to care for a man-size 1 year old forever.
 
Good thoughts for you Minky Dog. I pray that the red tape is just procedural pink date and the process concludes favorably for the assistance Christian needs as quickly as humanly possible.

You are a wonderful mom as best I can tell on an Internet message board.
 
Minky--I don't know how you cope as well as you do with caring for Christian, being there for your other kids and fighting the system for the care Christian needs. You are a strong person. I am sure you will get the care Christian needs for him:goodvibes
 

"Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Christian is blessed to be forever worthy, almost impossible for the rest of us. Prayers said :hug:
 
"Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Christian is blessed to be forever worthy, almost impossible for the rest of us. Prayers said :hug:

I love this.
 
Plus minky, it doesn't seem fair to him to keep him with you all his life and then when something happens to you and DH (not that I'm wishiing that for anytime soon but we all know it happens eventually), suddenly he has no parents AND has to change his home.

Better he should change his home now, get used to living there and thinking of it as home so that the losses he suffers as the years go on won't be doubled.

My best freind growing up lived next door to a family who had a special needs child...severely handicapped mentally and completely dependent for care. The mother insisted he stay with them. They got older, the father died, the mother and her older son took care of the younger son who, at this point, was a man in probably his 40's. Then the mother took ill and died. The brother had to put his special needs brother into some sort of group home facility at that point because he had to work and couldn't afford the cost of home care. I often wondered how difficult it was for that special needs man to lose his mother and shortly thereafter be in a different home. How much better it would have been for him to have been used to group home facility as his home while he dealt with the loss of his mother, instead of having to deal with 2 losses in short order...the loss of his mother and the loss of the only home he had ever known.

We have friends who have a 14 year old with Downs Syndrome and this is the paramount worry they have..."what happens to him when something happens to us?". Their long-term plan for him includes a group home as well.
 
Plus minky, it doesn't seem fair to him to keep him with you all his life and then when something happens to you and DH (not that I'm wishiing that for anytime soon but we all know it happens eventually), suddenly he has no parents AND has to change his home.

Better he should change his home now, get used to living there and thinking of it as home so that the losses he suffers as the years go on won't be doubled.

My best freind growing up lived next door to a family who had a special needs child...severely handicapped mentally and completely dependent for care. The mother insisted he stay with them. They got older, the father died, the mother and her older son took care of the younger son who, at this point, was a man in probably his 40's. Then the mother took ill and died. The brother had to put his special needs brother into some sort of group home facility at that point because he had to work and couldn't afford the cost of home care. I often wondered how difficult it was for that special needs man to lose his mother and shortly thereafter be in a different home. How much better it would have been for him to have been used to group home facility as his home while he dealt with the loss of his mother, instead of having to deal with 2 losses in short order...the loss of his mother and the loss of the only home he had ever known.

We have friends who have a 14 year old with Downs Syndrome and this is the paramount worry they have..."what happens to him when something happens to us?". Their long-term plan for him includes a group home as well.

This is exactly why we're doing this now. I was almost 40 when Christian was born, I"m 54 now. I want to get this settled now, before something happens to one of us. DH has stage 4 lung disease--he's on oxygen and completely disabled; his health is poor and rather precarious. His ability to manage Christian is severely limited. If I were to die, DH could NOT care for Christian If DH were to die (and that's a definite possiblity) I am not capable of fully caring for Christian either. It takes both of us at all times. In a crisis situation, Christian would have to be snatched up out of his home and placed IMMEDIATELY. I don't want that to happen. We need to act on this NOW--it's hard enough on a daily basis. It isn't going to be easier in another 6-10 years.

The best thing about getting him into a group home now is that we could do it slowly, over the course of weeks to get him used to his new "family". Much better for someone with developmental disabilities. And it would give us time to adjust as well. I know it's going to be very hard the day Christian finally moves out. It would be crushing to have him removed suddenly from our care.
 
This is exactly why we're doing this now. I was almost 40 when Christian was born, I"m 54 now. I want to get this settled now, before something happens to one of us. DH has stage 4 lung disease--he's on oxygen and completely disabled; his health is poor and rather precarious. His ability to manage Christian is severely limited. If I were to die, DH could NOT care for Christian If DH were to die (and that's a definite possiblity) I am not capable of fully caring for Christian either. It takes both of us at all times. In a crisis situation, Christian would have to be snatched up out of his home and placed IMMEDIATELY. I don't want that to happen. We need to act on this NOW--it's hard enough on a daily basis. It isn't going to be easier in another 6-10 years.

The best thing about getting him into a group home now is that we could do it slowly, over the course of weeks to get him used to his new "family". Much better for someone with developmental disabilities. And it would give us time to adjust as well. I know it's going to be very hard the day Christian finally moves out. It would be crushing to have him removed suddenly from our care.

You are one very smart woman..

I am so glad that things seem to be progressing well..:goodvibes
 
This is exactly why we're doing this now. I was almost 40 when Christian was born, I"m 54 now. I want to get this settled now, before something happens to one of us. DH has stage 4 lung disease--he's on oxygen and completely disabled; his health is poor and rather precarious. His ability to manage Christian is severely limited. If I were to die, DH could NOT care for Christian If DH were to die (and that's a definite possiblity) I am not capable of fully caring for Christian either. It takes both of us at all times. In a crisis situation, Christian would have to be snatched up out of his home and placed IMMEDIATELY. I don't want that to happen. We need to act on this NOW--it's hard enough on a daily basis. It isn't going to be easier in another 6-10 years.

The best thing about getting him into a group home now is that we could do it slowly, over the course of weeks to get him used to his new "family". Much better for someone with developmental disabilities. And it would give us time to adjust as well. I know it's going to be very hard the day Christian finally moves out. It would be crushing to have him removed suddenly from our care.

You are absolutely right.
 
I think of you often. Whenever I think I'm having a bad day... I can only imagine that I would wilt on the best of your days. You know they say God only gives you what you can handle... You should be proud of yourself that you have all done so well to this point.

Nice pictures! What a handsome guy! Yes, I see the mischief in his eyes! I think it's a boy thing, lol.

:goodvibes
 
You have a beautiful family!! :goodvibes

I will keep you all in my prayers. :hug:
 
I'm always inspired by your unending love and advocacy for Christian. :hug:
Let us know how things are going.
 
Best of luck and you and your beautiful family are in my prayers. Hopefully the logic and well thought out way you have of describing the situation will work in your favor with the evaluators. :hug:
 
You know I have been sitting here feeling sorry for myself because we really need to sell our house and no one is buying. After reading your posts I feel so foolish. So many others need so much more than I do. I've been asking God for help but today I am asking him to send the help YOUR way. You need it more than I do. I'm so very sorry you are dealing with this. It's so hard to be hoping for something that will also break your heart in a way. All of us on the DIS are so proud of you to be forward thinking and planning for the future. You have a cheering squad all over the world! :cheer2:
 


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