Would this situation upset you?? (Long)

[SeaSpray]

A few weeks ago my sister asked me to come up with some prices for Disney World. It would be her, her adult daughter, and her granddaughter, and myself. Normally I'd plan and bring my sons on a trip to Disney World, but I figured this would be an "All Girls" trip, plus DH and I are taking DSs on a Disney cruise and our stay at the Polynesian, after the cruise, at the end of this summer.

So, I got together some figures for her, and I said "Well at least we have a year to save for it!" When we had talked about going in May, I assumed she meant May 2005, but she was thinking about this May, 2004. So I told her I wouldn't be able to go, since we're putting all our money away for the cruise, excursions, and our family trip to Disney World.

That was a few weeks ago and I never heard anything more about it. Until this morning! I was talking to my father on the phone and he asked me about the plans for going to Disney World with my sister, et al. I told him I had no idea because I couldn't go this year, due to saving for the cruise. So then HE asked me to get together some figures and he said HE would pay for our trip, AND he said I should bring my DSs with us too. I was pretty excited when we were talking about it because it's been 3 years since DSs were at Disney World, and when we go after our cruise, we are not doing ANY parks, just spending a night or two at the Polynesian after the cruise, before flying home. I thought this was extremely generous of my father to offer this to all of us.

So.... I called my niece and we come up with a week in early May that would work for both of us, but she was hesitant and not excited because (poor thing) got an offer of a free trip to Germany with her father, for April or late May, and she couldn't do both. This does make sense because she owns her own commercial cleaning business and works nights and weekends, and it'd be hard for her to arrange for 2 weeks to be done by someone else. So, when I hung up with her, it was still sort of left up in the air.

Then I speak to my sister this afternoon. She's VERY excited at the thought of going to Disney World, and very delighted that our father offered to pay for it all! The thing is, she has VERY SEVERE asthma and she cannot predict when she'll have an attack. It's life-threatening and she has almost died on several occasions, so it's not how most people with asthma are, she hasn't been on a plane in 14 years because she's afraid of what could happen if she had an attack while in the air. I told her "but the flight is only 2 hours" so she said to me "Ok, you try holding your breath for 2 hours". So, she made her point, and I totally understand her hesitation about flying. Since she lives in NJ there are no other better ways of her getting to Florida.

So now here's the part that has me a little upset... Or maybe I'm just selfish? Anyway... I haven't spoken to my father yet, since speaking to my niece and sister. The thing is, if my sister decides she just can't risk getting on a plane, then my niece won't want to go, which then I assume there just will be no trip at all. I mean, I can't ask my father to pay for a trip for my DSs and I because this all started out as an All Girls trip. *sigh* I just hate getting all excited at the thought of a trip to Disney World, especially since my father wants to pay for it all! (And yes, he's very well off and has the money). My sister doesn't want me to tell our father "NO" yet, because I guess she wants to give it a little more thought, but my niece spoke to her after me, and she said that she doesn't think she'll be going.

Sorry this is so long, and I wonder if any of you are still reading it. LOL Guess I just needed to explain all this to people who would understand the excitement of the thought of going to Disney World. Thanks for listening!

Update: Just spoke to my father, he basically said "Oh well, that's a shame she won't fly" and left it at that. I guess my excitement was all for nothing.

 

[Mom2Em]

{{{hugs}}}
I am so sorry that things didn't work out for you to go this year... wouldn't we all jump at the chance??!!

 

[meeshi]

I'm sorry it didn't work out. But I'm wondering why your sister brought it up in the first place and then changed her mind

 

[Karel]

Why don't you drive down? Where does your father live -NJ shore, right? Your neice can stay home if it's too much time for her to be away - who would give up a free trip to Germany and your sister and grandaughter can go with you.

 

[Pembo]

Why not drive with your sister?

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Why not drive with your sister and have your neice fly with your son and you pick them up at the airport. Then they don't miss as much work and school and you and your sister get a lttle "girls" time. A road trip can be great fun without kids in the back seat asking when you'll be there!

 

[SeaSpray]

Thanks for the replies. I wasn't sure if anyone would even read that long post.

As for driving, we did already think about this but since she always needs to be close to a hospital, we would have no idea where the hospitals are on the drive down to Florida. It's about an 18 hour drive so it would take 2 days to drive there. My sister did come to the conclusion that flying would be her best option, but now that the opportunity is actually here, I guess she's afraid to take a chance of her having an asthma attack. So she hasn't actually changed her mind, but she's having second thoughts.

I'm just really disappointed that my father didn't still offer the trip to DSs and myself. I know for a fact that if they were still going, and only I and my DSs couldn't go, the trip would still be on.

 

[phorsenuf]

Isn't there anything that might help her on the trip. Would oxygen help? I don't know much about asthma or what brings it on but it seems such a shame that something like this could impact her life so. Would an epipen do anything? What if she was knocked out prior? These may all be real silly sounding, but it seems there must be something!!
C'mon DISsers....let's put our thinking caps on and get these good folks down there!

 

[SeaSpray]

Originally posted by phorsenuf
Isn't there anything that might help her on the trip. Would oxygen help? I don't know much about asthma or what brings it on but it seems such a shame that something like this could impact her life so. Would an epipen do anything? What if she was knocked out prior? These may all be real silly sounding, but it seems there must be something!!
C'mon DISsers....let's put our thinking caps on and get these good folks down there!

Thanks for your concern, I really appreciate it I asked her all these same questions though, and I asked her if she's discussed it with her doctor. Her doctor said that it's her choice as to whether she's comfortable enough to travel or not. Even when they come to visit me here in MA, she has to know where the nearest hospital is. And when we stayed in Boston a couple of weeks ago, she wanted to know where one was. We laughed and told her there were excellent hospitals on every corner in Boston. I know she has an epipen but if she has to use it, she then needs to get to a hospital within a certain time frame so they can monitor her heart rate. Same thing with if she takes a high dose of prednisone.

As an update: I called my father back and kidded with him about me and DSs still going, with or without anyone else. He said he did think about that. He then said that if we planned a trip for October or November, HE could go with us, and we'd go, no matter who else went or not. This made me feel better. So maybe I'll just think about a fall trip, and it'll be better because my father came go at that time. (My mother just died last fall and my father basically put his life on hold for the previous 7 years to take care of her 24/7. All of his life my father has raised and raced homing pigeons, (except for the last several years), he kept them and maintained them, but didn't breed them or race them, so now this spring for the first time in years he is breeding and racing his birds. That's why he wasn't going to go with us in May).

 

[phorsenuf]

I know what you mean about a hospital on every corner! Unfortunatly, I am waaaaayyyyyy too familiar with Mass General!
Where in Mass are you? I lived in Scituate for many years.

 

[SeaSpray]

Originally posted by phorsenuf
I know what you mean about a hospital on every corner! Unfortunatly, I am waaaaayyyyyy too familiar with Mass General!
Where in Mass are you? I lived in Scituate for many years.

We're on the south shore, near Bridgewater. I've been to Scituate, it's really nice there, we ate at a wonderful restaurant right on the water.

 

[Ellester]

Well, I think a fall trip with your dad sounds like the best of all possible scenarios. Your dad could enjoy a vacation with his family and you get to go to WDW. Since he would be paying, it sure would be nice if he could go too! Your sister and her family might still be able to go, if your neice can arrange coverage for her business and your sister figures out whether she is comfortable flying or not. Keep us posted!

~Ellen

 

[worm761]

oooooooooh....food and wine festival!!! mickey's not so scary halloween party!!!! great weather!!! plan a fall trip!!!

 

[SeaSpray]

Thanks again for all of the replies. As it stands now, we're going to plan on a fall trip for whoever can make it. I spoke to my sister late last night and she said that she REALLY wants to go (I know she does, it's the whole asthma thing that's stopping her) and she's going to speak to her doctors again to see if they have any suggestions. And she said if her daughter (my niece) doesn't want to go, then we'll go without her. LOL This also gives us all some time to save up some spending money. My father is very generous but I don't want him to have to pay for everything. I feel a lot better about this entire situation now, thanks for all of you who took the time to read and respond

 

[poohandwendy]

I hope it all works out, but I am confused. How did she think she was going to get to WDW to begin with? I mean, why would she even consider planning a trip, anywhere far from home, if she has such a debilitating illness? That seems sort of inconsiderate on her part, getting you all interested in it without a plan of getting herself there. JMHO.

 

[SeaSpray]

Originally posted by poohandwendy
I hope it all works out, but I am confused. How did she think she was going to get to WDW to begin with? I mean, why would she even consider planning a trip, anywhere far from home, if she has such a debilitating illness? That seems sort of inconsiderate on her part, getting you all interested in it without a plan of getting herself there. JMHO.

You hit the nail on the head! LOL The thing is, my sister really WANTS to go to Disney World. Her doctors have not told her to NOT go, but she knows how unpredictable her asthma can be and it is very severe and life-threatening if she doesn't get to a hospital when she's having a bad attack. So...I think she's trying to work up the nerve to just get on a plane and go. She's thought of driving, taking a train, and flying. Out of all of these, flying is the quickest but since she'd be in the air, its the one that makes her most nervous. When she knows she's not far from a hospital then she's OK about it. The thing is, she is not being overly dramatic about her asthma; she HAS almost died several times from it. My poor sister, in addition to this, has had 2 mastectomies, has Graves' disease, etc etc. And the funny thing is, she is SO NOT a complainer!! She never plays up her illnesses, in fact she doesn't like the attention they sometime cause her. She's an extremely up-beat person and I think that's why she really wants to work up the nerve to get on a plane.

So...the thing is... when she asked me to check out the trip info for her, I thought she had already decided within herself to make herself get on a plane. After yesterday though, apparently she's not quite at that point yet. And I don't want to influence her either way because if something happened to her, I couldn't handle it. She's my only sister and especially since my mother had Alzheimer's for years and then just died, she's like a mother to me now in many ways (There are 10 years between us, she's older). I really admire and look up to her.

Didn't mean to ramble, but you had a good point, and I wanted to explain

 

[meeshi]

I hope everything works out and your sister can go with you in the fall! What a wonderful dad you have to pay for this trip for everyone.

 

[disykat]

A person has to have dreams. It sounds to me like your sister knows she can't do it, but would desperately love to. Inconsiderate? You're the lucky one - cut her some slack!

 

[momof2inPA]

Maybe you could rent a car with Onstar and drive down. Then, if you need a hospital, they could direct you to one quickly. Just a thought.

I hope your sister gets to go.

 

[Keli]

You know, this sounds like the best situation all the way around now because it will be nicer for you to get to have your dad with you. And your sons would probably like it better by having Grandpa along too.