Would this make you mad? (Long Vent)

[tubaman]

Recently, our church has switched youth leaders, due to our last youth leaders having their first child. And we switched to Ryan, who is a very nice person, but not quit used to the job yet.

Well since then, all we have really done is watch movies (mostly bible related) and do discussions. Normally, we would have a Bible Study on Wednesday, and during Sunday School. On Sunday evenings, we would play games, like pingpong, 4 on a couch, sardines, ect... But now, like I said we have been watching movies. Youth on Sunday evening is suppose to be form 5 to 6, but when you watch a movie, it goes over. And the movies, well, weren't the most interesting ones either.

Last Sunday, before he got there, we pulled out the pingpong table and started to play, while others, started re-organizing the room. It really needed it. So we did that for a while, and eventually, he started the movie

My sister and I both had homework and left at six. As we were going out the door, Kristen, a good friend of ours, came in. She has been at college for a while and we hadn't talked to her much. So we started talking to her. Then, another youth member came down for Bell Chior practice, and they weren't ready yet. So she talked to us. One or two more people came down and we were talking about how much fun the mission trip this summer is going to be. At 6:30ish, my sister and I had to go to do homework.
_______________________________________________________________

Fast foward to this morning. Ryan walks in.

He starts telling us about this church leader thing he and several other leaders in our church went to. Blah, blah, blah...

Then he asked "How many days are you guys in here a week?"
Response from half asleep youth members: "Three"

He then went on to telling us about that we need to devote those 3 time periods to god. And no matter what it was, even if it was boring that we should participate. He also said "Now, I'm not going to mention any names, (looks at my sister and one of the other people who left early and talked to Kristen) but several of you just walked out last sunday. You guys need to be here for the entire time, and I don't want you guys just leaving like that."

That made the people who were talking to Kristen mad. And then he asked us something that he wanted us to answer as a group. Well when he asked whatever it was, I forget, the response was something like "________" except for one guy who wasn't there. It took three times of him asking that to get a response out of almost everyone because we had to cool off before we could saying anything that wasn't something smart (insert biblical term for a donkey).

He didn't know why we left, or what we were doing when we left so I don't think he had any grounds to say that on.

How do you guys feel about the situation? Would you be mad?

Just needed to vent.

 

[Stephanie218]

Maybe you can explain the situation to your parents if they attend your church too and have them talk to Ryan and explain that the current situation isn't making you happy with the way youth group's going. I've been with bad youth group leaders before, and it really made me not want to go. Parents always seem to have more influence in those situations though.

 

[OhMari]

Are you in the middle of your calendar year with your group. Maybe at your next get-together, you or your parents could ask for guidelines for these changes with better explanations.

 

[disykat]

I don't know if mad is quite the word - I think I might actually be sort of insulted that he is implying I wasn't devout enough. Now, I think I'd talk to the youth director, but at that age I probably would have gone to my parents and ask them to go with me and a few other kids.

Let him know that you are interested in a more interactive Bible study time and also feel strongly about building a sense of community and support in your youth group through fellowship opportunities. Ask to find a way to foster discussion and relationships between the kids - maybe working together on a service project or something. Let him know that you want something different than Sunday School and are willing to work with him on planning. A most of all, let him know that you don't think there's anything wrong with just hanging out with friends and fostering relationships with other kids in your program. Without personal connections to keep them coming, kids will go elsewhere where they can find those connections. Bible study is an important element of youth group, but it's just a part of it. I think the part that makes it a "group" is the fellowship.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Honestly you are both out of line. In fact you are more out of line than him. It was very rude to not bring it to his attention.

If you had to leave early you needed to say something beforehand.
Secondly he is also wrong for shaming you in the group.

 

[Saxsoon]

My youth group used to be like that. It had over 100 people down to less than 10. We didn't even watch movies. It was pathetic. WE recently in the past year recieved a friend of mine to run the youth, and is slowly climbing back up. We are now at 40 people. We play games, and go and help people in the two hour period. We painted a shelter, covered up graffiti. It is amazing. I never had so much fun in youth before.

I would have left too if I had homework, course my parents wouldn't let me go in the firs.t place

 

[tubaman]

Honestly you are both out of line. In fact you are more out of line than him. It was very rude to not bring it to his attention.

If you had to leave early you needed to say something beforehand.
Secondly he is also wrong for shaming you in the group.

Although we didn't make extremely clear, we did mention that we would be leaving early.

 

[Queen Quinnella]

I work for a church and I also work closley with the Youth Director and with the Youth themselves. I would have your parents speak to your youth leader and/or the Pastor. Probably both together. What he did was out of line. He should have spoken to you privatley about your leaving. Remember that it is your church too. He should not make you feel uncomfortable about being there or accusatory in his manner. When he accepted his position he took on the roll as a "minister" to the youth and should conduct himself as such.
As you can tell his behavior has also made me

 

[agnes!]

I agree with QQabove. This guy was out of line, it sounds like he's playing some new game, maybe it's called "Who Wants to be a Devouter-Christian-aire?" I'd be looking around for a better group or talking to your parents & see if they will go to bat for you guys.
After all, he is an employee, if things aren't working out, maybe he should move on to a situation he 's better suited to.

agnes!

 

[jfulcer]

Bible study, or youth group, or small group ministries, or whatever you want to call it is about praising and honoring God. Even if it's sitting aroung the youth room eating Pizza and playing ping pong. It's called Fellowship. I know it's a loose translation but "Whenver 2 or 3 of you are gathered in my name, there I am." Matthew 18:20

It sounds like your youth director needs to be a little less concerned with the God's LAW, and more concerned with the God's WORD. I'd talk to your parents, or your pastor, or even your youth director directly. Be open and honest about your worries and concerns and you can pray over it with them.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Although we didn't make extremely clear, we did mention that we would be leaving early.

Next time be clear then. Part of growing up.

 

[ericamanda01]

He sounds like hs's a little insecure in his ability to run the group. I would pull him aside and explain why you left early and that you were upset that he singled you out, even without naming names. Perhaps you could help him by suggesting more activities to do.

 

[KAMLEM]

Honestly you are both out of line. In fact you are more out of line than him. It was very rude to not bring it to his attention.

If you had to leave early you needed to say something beforehand.
Secondly he is also wrong for shaming you in the group.

Didn't he say that it ended at 6:00? If that's the case then they weren't leaving early. I think that Ryan needs to get a little more organized.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Didn't he say that it ended at 6:00? If that's the case then they weren't leaving early. I think that Ryan needs to get a little more organized.

The OP has an issue with Ryan and it is better to pull the guy aside and be clear because he sounds like a "rules to a T" & has his own agenda kind of guy. Like you have to spell things out for him, KWIM???
He has to learn to play a little politics with this guy. Hopefully that will soften him up and he will be more open to suggestions.

 

[we3disneygo]

youth group leaders.....ugh....dd12 hasn't been for a couple of weeks, the last couple times she went they had to have a talk about 2 girls who were fighting with each other????