Would this bother you- Facebook related Update post 69

[The Mystery Machine]

He came home Friday and logged into his Mike account where his friend request was still there. I showed him the Michael page with the gf as the only friend. He again had no idea whose account that was. He sent a friend request to this Michael person and that was that.This morning I checked emails and Michael confirmed him and sent a message- in Spanish. It turns out Michael is in South America and is pleased to meet someone with the same surname. My DH does not have a common name and it is not Spanish sounding.So thats why I assumed it had to be him. He was working outside and I aplogized for "putting him through hell" all weekend. So the mystery is solveed but the old GF sure wants to reconnect. He does not- he made that clear to me.

Oh good. That was sure one heck of an ordeal.

 

[LadyZolt]

My DH does not have a common name and it is not Spanish sounding.So thats why I assumed it had to be him. He was working outside and I aplogized for "putting him through hell" all weekend. So the mystery is solveed but the old GF sure wants to reconnect. He does not- he made that clear to me.

Well, either you trust your husband or you don't. My DH has a very common name (along the lines of John Smith) so all kinds of people have stuff online with "his" name and we also get calls from bill collectors for other men with the same name who apparently skipped town owing money. LOL! Could any of these actually *be* my DH? I suppose anything is possible, but I think this thread should make us all think: Do we trust our spouses? If we do, there's no reason to be hesitant about discussing anything with them and we should believe what they say. If we don't, then perhaps we shouldn't be married to them. If we choose to stay with someone we're not sure we can trust, then that is an individual decision and if someone makes that choice, it's up to him/her to figure out how to live with it.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[diznygirl]

Well, either you trust your husband or you don't. My DH has a very common name (along the lines of John Smith) so all kinds of people have stuff online with "his" name and we also get calls from bill collectors for other men with the same name who apparently skipped town owing money. LOL! Could any of these actually *be* my DH? I suppose anything is possible, but I think this thread should make us all think: Do we trust our spouses? If we do, there's no reason to be hesitant about discussing anything with them and we should believe what they say. If we don't, then perhaps we shouldn't be married to them. If we choose to stay with someone we're not sure we can trust, then that is an individual decision and if someone makes that choice, it's up to him/her to figure out how to live with it.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

The problem is that so many would say that they absolutely do trust their spouse - and then we come here on the DIS and find yet another post by someone who believed this but found out their spouse was having an affair, or walked out on them and never saw it coming.

It makes ya wonder sometimes, ya know?

 

[jsmith]

Everyone on this board who encouraged this girl to spy on her husband owes him-and her an apology!

 

[bumbershoot]

Well, either you trust your husband or you don't. ....If we do, there's no reason to be hesitant about discussing anything with them and we should believe what they say. If we don't, then perhaps we shouldn't be married to them.

Plenty of seemingly trustworthy spouses suddenly do the strangest things...you can trust and trust and trust, and they can be worthy of that trust...and then they can just change. I've seen it on both sides.

Both hubby and I have been hurt by people in our past, and hubby in fact did a presto-change-o thing during our engagement (I came home and his stuff was gone with no warning) and we got to have counseling etc etc, so we're extremely above-board in EVERYTHING we do. If someone gets worried, it's OK for them to share it. If someone needs some extra assurance, it's OK for them to ask for it. We've never expected the other to "just" trust, b/c we've experienced what it's like to trust and then have the rug pulled out from under us. We can't understand people just trusting and believing, even if their guts are screaming at them...we've seen and experienced too much.

 

[sbell111]

The problem is that so many would say that they absolutely do trust their spouse - and then we come here on the DIS and find yet another post by someone who believed this but found out their spouse was having an affair, or walked out on them and never saw it coming.

And then you have threads like this one where many people are practically pushing the OP into divorce court when her husband has done absolutely nothing wrong.

 

[disykat]

No, you have people encouraging her to find out if he had DONE anything wrong. Clearly, she wouldn't get that info from asking about something he was hiding.

My husband is free to "spy" on me all he wants - I'm an open book to him.

 

[ICF]

He came home Friday and logged into his Mike account where his friend request was still there. I showed him the Michael page with the gf as the only friend. He again had no idea whose account that was. He sent a friend request to this Michael person and that was that.This morning I checked emails and Michael confirmed him and sent a message- in Spanish. It turns out Michael is in South America and is pleased to meet someone with the same surname. My DH does not have a common name and it is not Spanish sounding.So thats why I assumed it had to be him. He was working outside and I aplogized for "putting him through hell" all weekend. So the mystery is solveed but the old GF sure wants to reconnect. He does not- he made that clear to me.

glad it is all good.....

and despite what some here would have you say....sometimes things are innoncent or a mistaken identity type of thing and you really dont need to set up your escape plan and call lawyers just b/c of something you read on line.

 

[teacups]

I have so much to say... but OP is satisifed so good for her.

 

[luvestodizz]

teacups I'd love to hear what you to say...

 

[Beastlover]

Wow...I just read each post...I need a nap!!

One post said we owe them an apology for encouraging her to snoop. I dont agree with that. She came here looking for advice. Everyone gave her advice. I think it was all good advice based on other people's experiences!

Good for them for talking about it. Good for them for working it out. I hope it is over.

My thoughts at this time? What can I say...Im a firm believer in listening to "that little voice!"

 

[Scurvy]

OP, I'm really glad that it turned out to be nothing! I bet the ex won't be happy at all when she figures out that she friended the wrong guy. (Or wasn't happy, if she already figured it out.) If your husband didn't already block her, I imagine he will get another request from her at some point.

As much like a soap opera as some threads get, I'm surprised this one didn't have a more dramatic ending! Of course I am happy for the OP that everything has worked out okay and I wouldn't want it to have turned out any other way, but was surprised to see such a "normal" resolution to this situation.

(I guess if it had been a soap opera, the husband in question would have sent the friend request to his other account and then snuck online later to accept it and send a response back in Spanish - which he would have learned for just such an occasion. There probably ought to be some other really dramatic twist, but I can't think of one . . . I guess that's why I don't write soap operas! )

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'm really glad it all worked out, luvestodizz.

Wow...I just read each post...I need a nap!!

One post said we owe them an apology for encouraging her to snoop. I dont agree with that. She came here looking for advice. Everyone gave her advice. I think it was all good advice based on other people's experiences!

Good for them for talking about it. Good for them for working it out. I hope it is over.

My thoughts at this time? What can I say...Im a firm believer in listening to "that little voice!"

OT- Beastlover, I haven't seen a post by you in ages and ages. Have you been gone or just not posting on the community board? Maybe you've been posting and I missed it. Anyway, nice to see you back!

 

[PaddingtonBear]

I've been following your thread and I'm so happy to see that your story had a positive resolution.

 

[Beastlover]

I'm really glad it all worked out, luvestodizz.




OT- Beastlover, I haven't seen a post by you in ages and ages. Have you been gone or just not posting on the community board? Maybe you've been posting and I missed it. Anyway, nice to see you back!

Hey!! No, Ive taken a break...Not so much on purpose, but just happened!! I posted a "hey Im back" post with some updated pics...been hanging on FB these days...but...missing everyone around here!!

 

[ckret01]

I've been following your thread and I'm so happy to see that your story had a positive resolution.

 

[love2disney]

Saw ur post today but I would have told u this the first day if I had. I have 11 people by the same name as mine and many of my friends by mistake or otherwise have sent them friend requests and got accepted. So really it happens and I have very very uncommon name.