Would this bother you- Facebook related Update post 69

[hegsag]

She doesn't know what e-mail the Michael account was created under because the friend request was sent to his Mike account. The Michael account was created after she sent the friend request to his Mike account.

In an above post, I had quoted her stating that she saw the request - therefore, her husband did indeed have contact with her.

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

This is one the reasons i hate facebook....

Hope you get to the bottom of this OP.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

In an above post, I had quoted her stating that she saw the request - therefore, her husband did indeed have contact with her.

From what I know..... You can't see a request on someone elses FB acct. You either have to see the actual email, or be in the acct. Hence she MUST know the email acct, or else it wasn't a request, and they were already friends.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

From what I know..... You can't see a request on someone elses FB acct. You either have to see the actual email, or be in the acct. Hence she MUST know the email acct, or else it wasn't a request, and they were already friends.

I think she found the email request to is Mike account...at least that's the assumption I made.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I think she found the email request to is Mike account...at least that's the assumption I made.

If the "Mike" acct is the bogus one, that means she would have to know the email acct.
I'm not FB expert, but I think I'm right..... I'm spending way to much time on this!!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

UPDATE: I did ask him about the account. He says he has no idea how she appears as his friend and he does not even know what email that account is attached to. So he never accepted her friend under Mike and does not know who the Michael account is. He was actually mad that I was accusing him of having an internet affair and can believe I don't trust him. I am going to show him the 2 accounts Friday when he's home and see his reaction in the flesh. So that's it for now.

It seems odd that he got so mad at YOU so quickly for your discovery. That is a red flag.



However in a left field defense--Facebook is not foolproof to hacking or to someone just making up an e-mail address and tying it to a name. There is no validation process in other words. There is an extreme miniscule chance that maybe ex-girlfriend set it up. And if your husband has never even come closed to consider straying--it could explain his reaction.


I don't know much about facebook--but in my short tenure--a friends account was hacked and a scam attempt began. In my naivity, I wouldn't have even known that was possible (and checked her for validation b/c I was really concerned, yet suspect at the same time.)

Wouldn't it be possible for a stalking ex girlfriend to create an account?

Only suggesting this--b/c it isn't always that the worst has happened and the very suspicion then jeopardizes the relationship esp. if it is unfounded.

Hope it all works out for you and you guys resolve it.

 

[teacups]

.



There is an extreme miniscule chance that maybe ex-girlfriend set it up. And if your husband has never even come closed to consider straying--it could explain his reaction.


.

I still think if it were me being mike, I'd get mad at my ex along with my spouse who found this out.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

If the "Mike" acct is the bogus one, that means she would have to know the email acct.
I'm not FB expert, but I think I'm right..... I'm spending way to much time on this!!!

I understood that the Mike acct is his "real" account. It's all there in black and white in the OP.

 

[2binak]

If the "Mike" acct is the bogus one, that means she would have to know the email acct.
I'm not FB expert, but I think I'm right..... I'm spending way to much time on this!!!

The Mike account is the real one, the Michael account is fake. You can have your FB account set up so that it sends friend requests (among other notifications) to the e-mail address that you used to create your account. The OP saw the friend request that the ex sent to the Mike account in the e-mail account used to create the Mike FB account. The OP then saw that there was a Michael account (the fake one) set up with only the ex as a friend. She took this to mean that he did not want his ex as a friend on his Mike account which is used for his family & friends and that he purposely set up the Michael account so that he could have private conversations with the ex without any of his family or friends knowing that he is in contact with her.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

I don't believe the ex girlfriend made up this account in his name and friended herself. If that was the case, there would be a reason behind it, like she wanted to cause problems in his marriage. If that were true, she would have then found a way to make sure wife saw the account. As it was, wife just accidentally happened to stumble upon it.

My theory: Husband didn't think wife would go searching for this account, because wife already knows his name on his "real" account. Why would he be dumb enough to use another form of his real name? Because lot of times guys just aren't smart enough to cover their tracks well. Trust me, I know!

OP, now that he knows you're onto him, he's going to try to cover his tracks well. Watch and see what he does with that account next. My guess is he'll delete it, because he's going to be worried that you'll figure out the password, and it's very likely he's got some messages in there that he doesn't want you to see.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

The Mike account is the real one, the Michael account is fake. You can have your FB account set up so that it sends friend requests (among other notifications) to the e-mail address that you used to create your account. The OP saw the friend request that the ex sent to the Mike account in the e-mail account used to create the Mike FB account. The OP then saw that there was a Michael account (the fake one) set up with only the ex as a friend. She took this to mean that he did not want his ex as a friend on his Mike account which is used for his family & friends and that he purposely set up the Michael account so that he could have private conversations with the ex without any of his family or friends knowing that he is in contact with her.

Gottcha - I got a little confused with the mike and michael thing

Whatever it is, sorry to the OP. I think she really needs to sit down with her DH and find out whats going on for real, because I smell a rat.

 

[meloneyb21]

I don't believe the ex girlfriend made up this account in his name and friended herself. If that was the case, there would be a reason behind it, like she wanted to cause problems in his marriage. If that were true, she would have then found a way to make sure wife saw the account. As it was, wife just accidentally happened to stumble upon it.

My theory: Husband didn't think wife would go searching for this account, because wife already knows his name on his "real" account. Why would he be dumb enough to use another form of his real name? Because lot of times guys just aren't smart enough to cover their tracks well. Trust me, I know!

OP, now that he knows you're onto him, he's going to try to cover his tracks well. Watch and see what he does with that account next. My guess is he'll delete it, because he's going to be worried that you'll figure out the password, and it's very likely he's got some messages in there that he doesn't want you to see.

I'm hoping for the best but something in me is telling me the same thing. I've dealt with my share of BS and that still doesn't sit well.

 

[CJ's Mommy]

What is very sad is that when someone is lying to you, you believe their ridiculous "explanations" when you confront them because you don't WANT to believe that your trusted, loved one would lie to you.

Also, it is VERY common for a liar to turn the situation around on you to take the heat off of themselves.

OP, I would be VERY cautious. Sorry you are going through this. Speaking from experience, be very careful and NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF. The inner voice that tells you something is 'off' is almost always correct! Remember that. You are not a crazy person that is untrusting and looking for issues to pick a fight over. Your concerns are valid. Good luck!

 

[RadioNate]

UPDATE: I did ask him about the account. He says he has no idea how she appears as his friend and he does not even know what email that account is attached to. So he never accepted her friend under Mike and does not know who the Michael account is. He was actually mad that I was accusing him of having an internet affair and can believe I don't trust him. I am going to show him the 2 accounts Friday when he's home and see his reaction in the flesh. So that's it for now.

I'm really sorry OP but the old "you don't trust me" outrage and turning it around on you is a big red flag to me.

I would be he created a free email account (like gmail or yahoo) for this facebook or he is using his work account.

Do a search by that email address and see is Michael shows up.

Is this girl local?

While he might not be having a physical relationship with her, there is obviously some kind of inappropriate contact that he is hiding from you.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

what is very sad is that when someone is lying to you, you believe their ridiculous "explanations" when you confront them because you don't want to believe that your trusted, loved one would lie to you.

Also, it is very common for a liar to turn the situation around on you to take the heat off of themselves.

Op, i would be very cautious. Sorry you are going through this. Speaking from experience, be very careful and never doubt yourself. The inner voice that tells you something is 'off' is almost always correct! Remember that. You are not a crazy person that is untrusting and looking for issues to pick a fight over. Your concerns are valid. Good luck!

ita

 

[mtemm]

What is very sad is that when someone is lying to you, you believe their ridiculous "explanations" when you confront them because you don't WANT to believe that your trusted, loved one would lie to you.

Also, it is VERY common for a liar to turn the situation around on you to take the heat off of themselves.

OP, I would be VERY cautious. Sorry you are going through this. Speaking from experience, be very careful and NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF. The inner voice that tells you something is 'off' is almost always correct! Remember that. You are not a crazy person that is untrusting and looking for issues to pick a fight over. Your concerns are valid. Good luck!

ITA! and yes, I have btdt.

I wish you well op. remember, whatever happens do it on your timetable, no one else's. and just because this may be something, it doesn't always mean its everything, if you know what I mean. I would say a huge error of judgement and sneaky and wrong, but doesn't necessarily mean its definitely something more.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

UPDATE: I did ask him about the account. He says he has no idea how she appears as his friend and he does not even know what email that account is attached to. So he never accepted her friend under Mike and does not know who the Michael account is. He was actually mad that I was accusing him of having an internet affair and can believe I don't trust him. I am going to show him the 2 accounts Friday when he's home and see his reaction in the flesh. So that's it for now.

So now what sbell? He says that someone else made this up. Are you buying it? What does she do now?

I think he is full of it personally.

 

[MICKEY88]

Yeah - that means you would KNOW what email he made this bogus account under, right??? You need to go on there, and ask for the acct password and see what is really going on. If you don't, I will!!

not exactly legal, just for the record

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

not exactly legal, just for the record

She wouldn't be going under some strangers email, its her husbands. I go under my husbands email account all the time, and he does mine. No, were not snooping on eachother, but its the same difference.

 

[MICKEY88]

She wouldn't be going under some strangers email, its her husbands. I go under my husbands email account all the time, and he does mine. No, were not snooping on eachother, but its the same difference.

if you do it with each others permission that is one thing, to go log into his email and pretend to be him and ask for the password is not legal