Would this be terrible?

[Aidensmom]

My brother has three kids, they have a birthday party every year for each of them. Two of the kids birthday's are only a month apart, so we go to a party the last week of September, and then again the first week of November. Not to mention that my sister's daughter's birthday party falls in that time too!

I don't want to go on Saturday. I had to work every weekend this last month, and I have a lot of stuff I want to do this month. We want to take Aiden to see Chicken Little, we have Gatorland tickets that expire Nov. 30, I want to have a yard sale, I want to go Christmas shopping before the crowds get here, we haven't had a date night in over a month, and I am going to WDW Thanksgiving weekend.

Would it be awful if I called Saturday morning and said Aiden was sick so we weren't going to make it (they would be offended if I told them I wasn't coming for what I stated above), and then to him to Chicken Little instead? I can mail my nephew a gift card, I don't know what else to buy him anyways.

 

[Daxx]

I'm always afraid that I'll get busted while trying to "escape" from family! And, I am a horrible liar, so know that I would eventually say something to blow my cover.

Could you get by w/doing the "pop in" and telling them you bought advanced-sale tickets for Chicken Little and didn't realize that it was on the same date as the party? A "pop in" is better than nothing in my book!

 

[imsorry]

Yikes, this is a tough one. I'm superstitious about saying someone is sick when they aren't. What if they ask him about it at Christmas and he forgets what you told them?

Can you just say you didn't realize you have a "calendar conflict" and leave it at that?

 

[Brianne]

I'd vote for calendar conflict, but I'd also let them know in the next day or so, as opposed to the morning of the party.

 

[Aidensmom]

Yikes, this is a tough one. I'm superstitious about saying someone is sick when they aren't. What if they ask him about it at Christmas and he forgets what you told them?

Can you just say you didn't realize you have a "calendar conflict" and leave it at that?

I didn't even know when the party was until Monday, so that would be reasonable. I am just afraid they are going to ask what we are doing, and I won't know what to say.

 

[Stitchfans]

Calendar conflict is an excellent idea. I don't think telling a fib is a good idea. My DHs family just blows us off. What ever you do don't do that.

I am close enough to my side of the family that I'd be able to tell them the truth that I worked many weekends and needed this one to do other errands so on. Shame yours wouldn't understand.

 

[ziggystardust]

I wouldn't lie b/c I'm always afraid of people finding out. What if they see your son and ask him how he's feeling, you wouldn't want him to continue the lie.

I vote for calendar conflict, or just be honest and tell them that its been a really hard month and you need a "mom and son" day. I don't think anyone would think poorly on that.

 

[sue1013]

Ask yourself if it would bother you if they didn't show up for your son's birthday bacause they had errands to do? I wouldn't do that to my family but you may not be that close to yours.

 

[gr8tpanther]

Why don't you just flat out tell them you can't make it, that you are BUSY and can't come? That is what I do.

 

[pfishgirl]

Yikes, this is a tough one. I'm superstitious about saying someone is sick when they aren't. What if they ask him about it at Christmas and he forgets what you told them?

Can you just say you didn't realize you have a "calendar conflict" and leave it at that?

I agree...don't lie...
what about saying exactly what you posted..you've been working so much you really need a private day with your own family...
good luck

 

[luvmydogs]

I think family gatherings are important, and it sounds as though you consistently honor those obligations; but there are certain times when you have every right to put you and your immediate family's relationship first. This sounds like one of those times to me. I have to be honest--if a family member came to me and said they couldn't make ds's party because they needed their own family time, I'd completely understand, because I've been in that position, too. I think using that kind of blunt honesty all depends on the relationship you have with your family, and how you think they'd respond--ugh--no one wants to deal with hurt feelings and misunderstandings!

I see nothing wrong with a "calendar conflict" or a "pop-in." You work hard and deserve some quality time with your ds & dh--it doesn't mean you love your nephew any less--you just want some much-needed time for the three of you alone. My ds is 10 now, and it's all about his friends--I'm not the companion I used to be, and although I understand this is a part of parenting, I miss my weekend-buddy sometimes.

I hope that whatever you decide to do brings you a lot of fun.

 

[Cantw8]

I never lie, especially to family. Just be honest. Lying isn't setting a very good example for your son

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

you may get busted later for saying someone is sick.

I'd say "I'm sorry we won't be able to be there -- we have a conflict" and leave it at that! Have a balloon boquet delivered during party time or send a giftcard!

Then go have a relaxing, fun day and don't feel guilty!!!! ( I have recently decided this is MY life and I'm tired of feeling guilty for our extended family who will use any excuse to control us.)

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

I didn't even know when the party was until Monday, so that would be reasonable. I am just afraid they are going to ask what we are doing, and I won't know what to say.

Could you call and leave a voice mail for them WHEN YOU KNOW THEY ARE NOT HOME? That way, they won't ask you....... just a thought.

 

[Aidensmom]

Like I stated originally, my brother and SIL will be offended if I tell them I have all this other stuff to do. I have heard them be nasty when my sister has told them the same type of thing, and now they are in a little feud. They just see these birthday parties as major events more along the lines of a wedding or funeral. They have 3 kids, they have parties for each every year. I have attended about 25 of these parties at their home over the years, the last one being one month ago...

I am NOT going to tell them the "truth" because I don't want to cause some big family conflict, there will be a little fib regardless.

 

[Aidensmom]

Could you call and leave a voice mail for them WHEN YOU KNOW THEY ARE NOT HOME? That way, they won't ask you....... just a thought.

Unfornutately, it is very hard to find a time like that. But maybe email would be an idea?

 

[glass-slipper]

Ask yourself if it would bother you if they didn't show up for your son's birthday bacause they had errands to do? I wouldn't do that to my family but you may not be that close to yours.

I agree with this. If you have a party for your son, will you expect your brother and nephews to make every effort to be there? I understand about the two boys birthdays being close together but each boy indivdually is probably looking forward to his own birthday and his own party. My family has 8 birthdays in one month. When the children were little we always had individual parties, but when they got older we combined them into one big family party, it just got to be too much! Good luck!

 

[Free4Life11]

Ok I misread the post. Yes I think saying that someone is sick and then going to see a movie isn't very nice. I wouldn't say it's terrible, but I personally would find that rude if someone did that to me.

 

[liamandcaili]

If you only found out Monday that the party is Saturday, I think you are perfectly within your rights to explain to your brother that you had been planning a family day, it's the first you've had in a while, and your son is already looking forward to the movie. Now, if you had been issued the invitation months ago, it might be more of a problem, but on such short notice, I would just be honest.

My in-laws can be touchy sometimes and don't understand when I decline invitations (most recent was MIL invited us to a Christmas party and I said we couldn't make it because we would be in Disney World...her reply? "Oh, that's too bad." Like anything is better than Disney!) but they get over it. Your brother, even if he is initially offended, will get past it. That's what families do.

 

[Briarmom]

imsorry is a genius! 'Calendar conflict' has been added to my vocabulary!