Would this be rude?

[Wishing on a star]

Every single day when children are out in public, with or without parents, other parents and people (teachers, church members, etc...) are there to see/observe.

A school (except for a very exclusive 'private' school) is not private.
I would be darned if I would pay huge money to a private school who would lock me out.

I see NO validity to this privacy thing.
NONE whatsoever.

We are talking about the child's 'parents' here.
You would think that we were talking about registered child offenders here.

This is just more 'parents are evil...' 'Separate them from children and keep them out'.

Wow.....

 

[Wishing on a star]

I also think it is very SAD that people honestly think that it is a good thing to raise our children in an environment that is like HIGH SECURITY INCARCERATION. Not good... at all.

And parents are considered 'the enemy'????

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I also think it is very SAD that people honestly think that it is a good thing to raise our children in an environment that is like HIGH SECURITY INCARCERATION. Not good... at all.

And parents are considered 'the enemy'????

You so clearly feel that schools are the enemy there is no point in trying to set you straight.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

I also think it is very SAD that people honestly think that it is a good thing to raise our children in an environment that is like HIGH SECURITY INCARCERATION. Not good... at all.

And parents are considered 'the enemy'????

Unfortunately some parents treat the teacher like an enemy, rather than the professional that they are(yes I know some teachers are less than the pros they should be). Teaching in a public school system should be a partnership between the school and the home, not an adversarial relationship. Also there is a bit of a privacy concern, whether we like it or not, teachers try to protect the "learning abilities" of each kid in their care. In other words Susie's mom should not know Johnny has a 504plan and Kate has an IEP, an unannounced visitor to the room may compromise Johnny and Kate's right to privacy.
Don't know if the OP has tried the direct approach with the teacher and administration yet or not, but that really is the best way to start and still keep open lines of communication. Going in unannounced seems very hostile and like a person I would deal with as little as possible. I am not a teacher, but even as a parent I would think the parent arriving unannounced was a PITA and would want very little to do with her. Now if you have honestly tried resolving your issues openly and gotten no where then you do what you have to do and be darned the other parents, but only after you have tried talking freely and LISTENED to the school and teacher.

 

[ajk912]

Every single day when children are out in public, with or without parents, other parents and people (teachers, church members, etc...) are there to see/observe.

A school (except for a very exclusive 'private' school) is not private.
I would be darned if I would pay huge money to a private school who would lock me out.

I see NO validity to this privacy thing.
NONE whatsoever.

We are talking about the child's 'parents' here.
You would think that we were talking about registered child offenders here.

This is just more 'parents are evil...' 'Separate them from children and keep them out'.

Wow.....

What right do you have to watch my child in the classroom for who knows how long? This isn't a passing glance in a zoo or a grocery store. You have no right to listen to my kids talk about their weekend, ask about math homework, work on tests, or say what they are doing and when, in the school setting. How do I know you aren't a sex offender (hypothetically?) Did the school background check you before allowing you to "observe"? If you want to see what goes on in the school VOLUNTEER and you will be there plenty and you can hear through the grapevine what happens in the classroom, who the behavior problems are, etc. Most volunteers sign a confidentiality contract but stuff slips out.

I find it very hard to believe it wouldn't be disruptive to have someone "observing" the classroom. Is there even an extra chair for observers? I know my kids' classrooms are pretty packed as it is. Wouldn't the kids be wondering why? Would the teacher be more worried about what the observer thinks, rather than focusing on the kids? And like others have said, people act different when an observer is there, so a good kid may act up or a bad kid may good. Or..like another said..if a teacher was being brutal to the kids, if mom was in the back you'd think she wouldn't do it then.

So no, it isn't that schools respect the student's privacy, there really isn't a lot of benefit to having relatives "observing".

 

[mjkacmom]

So now parents shouldn't be allowed in to school at all? What about parent volunteers, which many schools rely on? What about school parties or assemblies? Not allowed in then either? Maybe we shouldn't be allowed on school property to pick up our kids when they are sick, or when they get out of school for the day? Someone could throw a pipe bomb!!! Come on, common sense should tell you that you should have access to your child at all times.
.

No volunteers here, only class parents of K - 3 allowed at parties, no parents at assemblies. When my kids are sick, I get buzzed in, and sign them out in the office. If they forget lunch, I get buzzed in, and leave it in the office, and don't even see my child. If my middle schooler needs to leave early, I pick him up outside. I don't have access to my child at all times, because if I did, I've had access to every child at all times. It's something I give up sending them to public school. Not a problem.

 

[nowellsl]

I also think it is very SAD that people honestly think that it is a good thing to raise our children in an environment that is like HIGH SECURITY INCARCERATION.

What is sad is that school shootings are a fact of life, that we have had to put up fences and gates and extra security to keep our kids safe. They are not to keep kids incarcerated, they are to keep them safe. Do you want your child in a school that is wide open for anyone to walk in off the street and have access to them? It's a sad state of affairs all around!

 

[mhsjax]

No volunteers here, only class parents of K - 3 allowed at parties, no parents at assemblies. When my kids are sick, I get buzzed in, and sign them out in the office. If they forget lunch, I get buzzed in, and leave it in the office, and don't even see my child. If my middle schooler needs to leave early, I pick him up outside. I don't have access to my child at all times, because if I did, I've had access to every child at all times. It's something I give up sending them to public school. Not a problem.

Wow, that sounds like a detention center to me, not much like a school. I realize that there has to be security, but around here parents can come and have lunch, in any grade. YOu do have to sing in, but there is no buzzing in. Also to volunteer you do have a background check, but all classes k-5th have volunteers and the teachers and also the other parents that can't volunteer, love the ones that do. It actually frees up the teacher to teach the kids and not deal with so much paper work, and stuff that he or she would have to do on their own down time. We are dong them a favor and the teachers and parents appreciate it.

You can't come and go as you wish, and I have never seen anyone observe a class, and I don't think I would like that very much. But your school seems to have gone off the deep end in the other direction. There has to be a happy medium.

 

[Dancemom03]

I would never send my child to a school where parents can just come in and disrupt the classroom whenever they felt the need to see little sally snowflake. This is a school- this is my childs place away from me, their place of learning not some place for some bored mommy to sit and watch her kids at all day.

Not singling you out aprilgail, but wondering how many of you who are sure this wouldn't be allowed have actually checked your parent's handbook and all the other assorted guidelines/policies online regarding what is and isn't permissable in your child's school?

I know, until our new-ish principal eliminated scheduled parent visitation days/times during american education week, the terminology I'd read over and over again in the past twenty-five years of having one or the other of my children at our rural public elementary school never stood out.
When it was used as an excuse for dropping parent visitation days though, you better believe we all sat up and took notice. Lots of times, there's quite a bit of what can seem to be useless fluff in the guidelines until you actually realize what it means. It's very possible it's the policy in more schools than you realize but just not publicized.

The newsletter we received echoed existing age-old policy easily found on the BofE website and as I quoted in the other thread said, in part, Adult family members are welcome to visit and observe classes anytime throughout the year."

Then added...

"Because we open our doors each and everyday all year long, we do not designate specific visitation days.
Instead, please join us when it’s convenient for you to observe your child learning. It is less disruptive to learning when only a few visitors are in a classroom at a time than when large groups visit on one day."

 

[declansdad]

Every single day when children are out in public, with or without parents, other parents and people (teachers, church members, etc...) are there to see/observe.

A school (except for a very exclusive 'private' school) is not private.
I would be darned if I would pay huge money to a private school who would lock me out.

I see NO validity to this privacy thing.
NONE whatsoever.

We are talking about the child's 'parents' here.
You would think that we were talking about registered child offenders here.

This is just more 'parents are evil...' 'Separate them from children and keep them out'.

Wow.....

It isn't about "parents are evil", it's about having respect for the person who is charged with teaching the children and their job. Should they be allowed to come into to your home announced to make sure your are helping your child properly with their homework?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Every single day when children are out in public, with or without parents, other parents and people (teachers, church members, etc...) are there to see/observe.

A school (except for a very exclusive 'private' school) is not private.
I would be darned if I would pay huge money to a private school who would lock me out.

I see NO validity to this privacy thing.
NONE whatsoever.

We are talking about the child's 'parents' here.
You would think that we were talking about registered child offenders here.

This is just more 'parents are evil...' 'Separate them from children and keep them out'.

Wow.....

I have been reading this thread. I am not trying to be snarky but I think from this thread and many others we get it that you hate teachers and think schools are terrible places. That is fine. You are entitled to your opinion.

As for the privacy thing- yes, people may observe me and my family when we go out in public. However, MY child's schooling is none of yours or anyone's business. A parents does not add to the classroom. They are a disruption. I don't care how quiet you are the kids know you are there and are curious and distracted by it. YOU (a general you) don't need to know by observing who has an IEP, who needs hand manipulators to keep still, who cries, who can't sit still, who can't spell, who can't add, who doesn't know colors and shapes etc. It is not for YOU (a general you) to know. The only child you need to know about is your own. That is why you set up an appointment with your kid's teacher and discuss strategies for making whatever situation better. There is nothing to come of a parent sitting in on a class. Oh- and plenty of parents gossip whether they do it in a mean way or not most don't keep stuff to themselves. Completely innappropriate.

I also think that yes- at school you should be separated from your child. The whole point is to learn not only your ABC's but also some independence. If my Mom ever sat in on one of my classes I would have died from embarrassment. That would have been the ultimate punishment for me and just about everyone I know.
There are no "red flags" about a school that does not want parents in the classroom. They do not belong there. If you want to be in your child's classroom to "observe" or whatever anyone wants to call it then perhaps homeschooling is what you (a general you) should chose. Then you can be in class with them all day.
There are also plenty of parents that although they are not "sex offenders" are still not people I want my kids around on a daily basis. I don't believe that having a child makes you a great person. Some people simply are not.

Parents are not "evil" and the schools don't even suggest that. There is simply a time and a place for everything. Parents observing out of the blue is not something that I think should have a time and/or a place for. There is no justification for it and it infringes on the other students who are being observed by someone who will add nothing to their environment.
YMMV.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I also think it is very SAD that people honestly think that it is a good thing to raise our children in an environment that is like HIGH SECURITY INCARCERATION. Not good... at all.

And parents are considered 'the enemy'????

Really? So every Tom Dick and Harry should be able to walk into the schools? You know what? My kids are the most important people in the world to me. I don't want a bunch of random parents hanging out in their classroom and I am happy that the schools are locked up the way they are.

 

[mjkacmom]

Wow, that sounds like a detention center to me, not much like a school. I realize that there has to be security, but around here parents can come and have lunch, in any grade. YOu do have to sing in, but there is no buzzing in. Also to volunteer you do have a background check, but all classes k-5th have volunteers and the teachers and also the other parents that can't volunteer, love the ones that do. It actually frees up the teacher to teach the kids and not deal with so much paper work, and stuff that he or she would have to do on their own down time. We are dong them a favor and the teachers and parents appreciate it.

You can't come and go as you wish, and I have never seen anyone observe a class, and I don't think I would like that very much. But your school seems to have gone off the deep end in the other direction. There has to be a happy medium.

Our schools haven't gone off the deep end - I went to school here, many moons ago, and there were no parent volunteers. Our teachers don't want or need them - we have a full staff in the office to help out. I can't imagine parents coming for lunch - as it is now, our cafeteria (brand new - used to use the gym) has 3 sets of students who have to eat in under 20 minutes, and it's full. Our middle school has 4 lunch periods, and everyone has to squeeze. There isn't a school in the area without locked doors, even church preschools. Being 10 miles from ground zero, things tightened up after 9/11. However, the reason the schools really don't want the parents is because of crazy (not dangerous) helicopter parents. Gossipy parents. I don't blame them.

 

[disykat]

It isn't about "parents are evil", it's about having respect for the person who is charged with teaching the children and their job. Should they be allowed to come into to your home announced to make sure your are helping your child properly with their homework?

I'm pretty sure I've seen some of the same posters as I see here showing up on threads that talk about home visits. On those threads, people are horrified by the idea of even a scheduled visit and assume that teachers are there for no good. They assume the visits are about the parent, not the child.

 

[Polyluvr]

Yes, I consider this rude. As a professional, you should ask permission to observe the teacher. Would you walk into a doctor's office and sit in on a visit unannounced? If you come with the attitude that the teacher is somehow "the enemy", you won't accomplish much. Why not talk with the teacher, discuss the issues you have and try to work together for your child. believe it or not, most teachers have your child's best interest at heart too.

 

[Slinky Dog]

Imagine the chaos if every parent decided to show up unannounced. Also, who would want random people on their child's campus all the time?

 

[PFlamingo]

I have no problem with parents observing my teaching, announced or not. They are usually thrilled when they see how organized my lessons are, and how I manage my classroom. I do have a concern about how it affects the students, though. I teach math and some of those kids are already embarrassed to ask a question or work a problem on the board in front of their classmates, let alone a parent. I work really hard to make them comfortable with asking questions and participating in class. Now, you and I both know that most parents are not going to go home and say to their child, "wow, that little Johnny Jones sure is slow," but Johnny may not know that. Likewise, Johnny's parents might not appreciate another parent observing Johnny's difficulties in math. That's where the privacy issue comes in.

As for teachers missing some of the stuff that goes on in class, I plead "guilty." As a PP said, my focus is on teaching the lesson and keeping general order in the room. If a parent or student alerts me to a problem, I can watch for it and catch the little culprit red-handed. Then I can do something about it. And I'm really good at doing it without letting on who tipped me off.

There's no question that the relationship only works if both the parent and the teacher approach it as a team effort. And as for the teacher who ridiculed the student in front of the class - if I saw that, I'd be the first one in the principal's office letting her know there's a problem. That is beyond unprofessional.

 

[Polyluvr]

I totally agree!! I can't believe some schools even let parents volunteer in classrooms with other peoples children nevermind be able to waltz in and out of classrooms whenever they feel like it!

on the volunteer subject~ @ my son's school we- DH/I had to go thru a background check~ all the parents wishing to volunteer had to.

 

[ccgirl]

For those that just waltz in your child's school; is it accredited? I ask because my DD's school is going through the accreditation process and as part of that all doors have to remain locked, including the front door which now has a buzzer on it. Parents need to be buzzed in. For anyone in the classroom, whether it is a parent or not, they have to have a CORI check. They do not allow "visitation" whether it is during lunch or class time as it ends up being disruptive. My DD's school does allow volunteers. I have volunteered from time to time until I realized it was a disruption to my own child. She was more interested in giving me hugs and kisses (which I loved) than listening to her teacher so I stopped volunteering. If you want to chaperone field trips, or any school function for that matter, you have to be CORI checked as well.

OP - have you discussed the issue with the teacher?

 

[Planogirl]

This has probably already been said but I don't see the value of observing your child anyway. I doubt that the child would act the same if a parent was sitting there watching so would you really learn much? The other kids and even the teacher might also be different with a visitor in the room.

I see more value in meeting with the teacher who sees the child on a daily basis and could maybe pinpoint what might be causing the problems.