Would this aggravate you?

[lacrosse_lady72]

I most say do you know my wife? because this really sounds like something I have gotten yelled at about. What do you mean you can not put dirty clothes in the washer and expect the washer to clean them???? Really??? we are just trying to help out...if i just walk over the clothes I get yelled at for doing nothing! if I help out, I get yelled out for not using our head!.... After 13 years of marriage....I finally found the answer, before I come home, stop at the flower shop, pick up some flowers kiss the wife, and tell her"I taking a shower" throw the cloths on the floor next to the bed (you now because thats where they go!!right?) and because of the flowers, she never yells at me for putting them on the floor.

I would yell about it too. It's one of those things that reminds me of the Weekend Update on SNL and the segment called "REALLY?!?" It's like putting a blue crayon in the dryer with whites... really?... is it that hard of a concept to not do something like this?

Just FYI: she might not yell at you, but she remembers... we always remember. And it's likely that it will come around and bite you in the butt sometime.

 

[myhouseofmouse]

Yes, it is always nice to get yelled at about something you do wrong, then to get the reminders about it, days and months and years later....

 

[crazee4mickey]

Sorry this week has been so miserable for you and your family....

You had said that you are crabby (and he knows it), there was a "major family tragedy", and that emotions are high.....could be that maybe he has been affected with everything going on as well and had a lapse in judgement?

Some husbands really do not have any clue (and I'm not just being sarcastic, they have no idea) and this IS something my husband would do....is it worth blowing my stack over no. By the sounds of it, he was trying to help you out, there are lots who wouldn't even try and there would be posts about them not even lifting a finger.....

Off topic but if your husband has a job where he works with "toxic substances" and fuel may get spilled on them....why are they being washed and dried in your household washing machine/dryer? Sounds dangerous....

My husband also works around chemicals/fuel work and his clothes are taken to a laundry mat...inconvenient and time consuming? Yes, but I feel safer since it says right on the lid of our washer not to wash items like this in the machine and it also prevents "mishaps" like his clothes being mixed with our clothing by mistake from happening

 

[Disneyland1084]

I am so steamed at my husband right now. Really, I could punch him, I'm so annoyed.

He got out of work a little early today with his boss being nice about the holiday weekend. We have a ton of laundry in the house since I was extraordinarily busy running around all week without time left for wash, and it piled up.

To "help" me, he grabbed some clothes out of my son's laundry basket and put it together with his work clothes to make a load.

So the problem? His jeans got soaked with gasoline at work, and so he washed them, and all the clothes in that washed-and-dried load smell like gas. I couldn't care less about his work clothes; they stink to high Heaven half the time anyway. But the clothes that belong to DS that DH "washed" smell like DS works in a gas station.

I'm so mad. What a stupid thing to do; it just created extra work for me, and possibly ruined some of DS's stuff. Thanks, dad!

My DH isn't allowed to do any laundry in the house.

 

[handinpocket]

My husband does his own laundry, yes, he really does. That way if he screws it up, it is his clothes that are up the creek. I would be irritated too OP, perfectly normal response.

 

[sunnyday123]

See, the really annoying part is that he didn't "have" to do any laundry; I didn't ask him to do it. He should have either thrown the jeans out or washed them by themselves. Or best yet, left everything alone and let me catch up on the housework tomorrow.

It was a brutal week, and he knows that. I don't normally let much of anything pile up.

Let me start by saying I don't normally defend manly stupidity.

Good gravy the man tried to help and he still can't win! He "knew" it was a brutal week, and tried to help out-and your whining?? Seriously I was married for 8 freaking years and my ex never did a darn thing in the house-it was "my job."

Since you do everything and apparently want it done a certain way, he probably has never really done laundry and did not think it would transfer to all the clothes?? Can I go out on a limb here and suggest you might be a wee bit of a control freak? Take the clothes to a laundrmat and run them through a few cycles in their machines. Maybe take some vodka to calm yourself.

Be glad you have one that tries to help.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Let me start by saying I don't normally defend manly stupidity.

Good gravy the man tried to help and he still can't win! He "knew" it was a brutal week, and tried to help out-and your whining?? Seriously I was married for 8 freaking years and my ex never did a darn thing in the house-it was "my job."

Since you do everything and apparently want it done a certain way, he probably has never really done laundry and did not think it would transfer to all the clothes?? Can I go out on a limb here and suggest you might be a wee bit of a control freak? Take the clothes to a laundrmat and run them through a few cycles in their machines. Maybe take some vodka to calm yourself.

Be glad you have one that tries to help.

That you for your sunny reply, Sunnyday.

This thread wasn't so much meant to be a whine, but a vent. Whine/vent--I guess it's just semantics anyhow.

I am sorry that your marriage was so bad that you think I should be grateful my husband washed gasoline soaked jeans in our own washer and dryer with my son's clothes. (DS's clothes are all brand new BTW since our child went through a big growth spurt recently.)

And honestly, one of the reasons I am so annoyed with DH is because I really do have a lot of housework to catch up on. I shouldn't even be on-line. Having to drive to a laundromat to spend a couple of hours there would be inconvenient, to say the least. He just should have tossed the jeans.

 

[sunnyday123]

That you for your sunny reply, Sunnyday.

This thread wasn't so much meant to be a whine, but a vent. Whine/vent--I guess it's just semantics anyhow.

I am sorry that your marriage was so bad that you think I should be grateful my husband washed gasoline soaked jeans in our own washer and dryer with my son's clothes. (DS's clothes are all brand new BTW since our child went through a big growth spurt recently.)

And honestly, one of the reasons I am so annoyed with DH is because I really do have a lot of housework to catch up on. I shouldn't even be on-line. Having to drive to a laundromat to spend a couple of hours there would be inconvenient, to say the least. He just should have tossed the jeans.

No... I just think that when someone is trying to help you, you should be a little more forgiving. He probably assumed the gasoline would be "washed out" and go wherever all the other dirt goes.

My suggestion to drive to the laundromat to wash everything again was to help get the gasoline out of all the clothes....geez.

 

[BrcsDisneyPrncs]

OP - so sorry you are having a cruddy week

Would I be annoyed? - You betcha. But being upset about it will only make you feel even worse than you already do with stress, and the family loss, etc. Try to see the positive that he tried to help!

Also - just as a side note (this may not be the situation for OP's husband). I have several friends whose husbands are mechanics and after being in the garage with gasoline, oil, etc every day they honestly don't smell it on themselves. They will walk in and we keel over from the smell and they give you that dumbfounded "what? I don't smell anything" look. so maybe he isn't as sensitive to the gasoline smell and didn't really notice it or think twice that it may be on there when he threw in the wash?

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

OP, I usually do laundry and (given my personality) I probably would have thought that the detergent would take care of it, like your DH did. Try the vinegar -- hopefully it will help.

That's exactly what I would have thought, too. And I'm a girl

I'm sorry you're having a rough week Please don't be mad at him though. Sounds like you need each other for support... don't push each other away.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My husband knows better than to touch the laundry for the very reason you described. I can honestly see him doing that.

 

[Rora]

OP---I figured out early on in my marriage that I didn't possess any special training to do laundry or to iron. If I could do it--so could DH. DH is a bright guy and it only took one session of sorting, pre-treating, washing and folding and, by gum, he caught on! I held DS and DD to the same standard--I think everyone needs to know how to do the basic duties.

Good advice!!

OP- I don't think DH meant to do anything on purpose. He thought he was helping..No offense to many of the men on the DIS or the husbands who are more domestic, but most men don't always think about what they're doing when it comes to more "womanly" tasks-- I can't tell you how many times my DH has messed up my laundry system or scrubbed the floors with the wrong cleaner (pet spot cleaner.. ). He's not doing it on purpose and he really does want to help!

I hope you can get the gas smells out and refrain from punching your husband!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Are we really supposed to believe that all men are stupid and don't know better?

Well, that's what my husband would have me believe. I take having to do the majority of the chores as just a necessary burden of being a member of the superior sex.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Well, that's what my husband would have me believe. I take having to do the majority of the chores as just a necessary burden of being a member of the superior sex.

I like this reply.

In the cold, clear light of the morning, I checked out all the laundry again and it seems like the odor has dissipated. DS's clothes smell O.K., and the washer and dryer seem alright. I've done two loads so far this morning and everything seems fine; I can't smell the gasoline anywhere.

I need to find the jeans and see what they look and smell like. If they're bad, they're going in the trash. One of the ongoing issues I have with DH (and part of why this was so annoying) is that he hates to throw any of his clothes out. He won't part with a pair of jeans or socks until they're covered with gaping holes--and even then I have to find them so I can toss them for him.

He does wash his work clothes a lot of the time in a separate load. He has a heavy duty industrial job and is regularly exposed to things like concrete, tar, fiberglass, explosives, and chemicals. If I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times that if his clothes get covered by anything like that, throw them out or bring them to the laundromat.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Did it not occur to him that his dirty work clothes would stink up everything?

No, obviously it did not occur to him as laundry isn't something he's used to doing. And getting angry with him and pointing out how stupid he is won't solve anything.

My DH did something similar when we were first married. I had a pristine set of beautiful white plastic tupper-ware type bowls that, one day while 'helping me', he thought would be good for putting leftover spaghetti sauce in. They stained. Badly.

I didn't say anything. I just washed and bleached and washed and when the stain STILL wouldn't come out, I happened to be standing at the kitchen window holding up the once pristine bowl given to me as a housewarming present years ago, that I'd kept in very good condition, and crying a little bit (quietly - just tears coming down my face) when he walked in on me. I wasn't meaning to make him feel bad, but he did just the same.

Later on that week he surprised me with a brand new 48-piece set (that I really didn't need but welcomed just the same) and a solemn promise that he'd never put anything with tomato sauce (chili, spaghetti, taco, etc) in the plastic bowls again. He now uses the glass ones (I have many of those, too).

The bottom line is that you missed your opportunity, sweetie. This would have been an excellent time to have him smell his son's clothes and learned from what he did. He may even have done a "slap of the forehead, I'm such a bonehead" move and then done the rest of the backed-up laundry for you while you tried to figure out how to remove the smell from your son's clothes.

As for getting the gasoline smell out, I recommend the vinegar and baking soda method. Maybe use an "oxy" product to help remove the stains (and smell IS a stain, believe it or not).

 

[JerseyJanice]

My DH did something similar when we were first married. I had a pristine set of beautiful white plastic tupper-ware type bowls that, one day while 'helping me', he thought would be good for putting leftover spaghetti sauce in. They stained. Badly.

Something like that would have made me furious. I have certain containers for fruit and others for savory, and never shall the Twain meet. Nothing's worse than garlic scented cantaloupe.

I just noticed that we have a laundry smilie here. It's so cute I wish I used it in my OP.

 

[doxdogy]

The laundry or the Tupperware container would not have set me off or made me want to punch my husband in the nose. Because in the grand scheme of things, just not worth all that anger. It seems that his heart was in the right place and that is all that really counts. After all I am not the perfect spouse either.

 

[PurplePinkleEater]

The bottom line is that you missed your opportunity, sweetie. This would have been an excellent time to have him smell his son's clothes and learned from what he did. He may even have done a "slap of the forehead, I'm such a bonehead" move and then done the rest of the backed-up laundry for you while you tried to figure out how to remove the smell from your son's clothes.

I don't see this as the OP "missing her opportunity" to teach a grown man how to properly react. He should have done everything else you said here on his own.

 

[Carly_Roach]

The laundry or the Tupperware container would not have set me off or made me want to punch my husband in the nose. Because in the grand scheme of things, just not worth all that anger. It seems that his heart was in the right place and that is all that really counts. After all I am not the perfect spouse either.

Oh I hear you, sister! And the tupperware thing didn't really "set me off" as it's not in my nature to get angry all that often. I was more sad and was trying to keep it from him because I knew he didn't really know any better and it was my fault for not telling him.

And it works both ways. At least in our marriage.

I've done my share of stupid, bone-headed things: stripped screws and bolts, using the wrong grade of gasoline in the lawnmower (apparently it takes mid- or high-grade?), and, once, misplaced some "sacred" all-in-one tool of his. Except for the "sacred" all-in-one tool incident (which we later found under the bed where it got kicked after I'd adjusted the headboard with it), he's never really lost his temper or made me feel as if I'm an idiot. His attitude is that I'm a girl, I never really dealt with those types of activities so it wasn't my fault that I did them wrong.

I now ask for his help when I do stuff like that (if I'm not already sure of how to do it) and he does the same with the kitchen and laundry stuff. We each have our 'place' (his is the garage, basement and lawn; mine is the kitchen, laundry and general living area) and we each respect the other's "workplace" if you will.

It may sound sexist to some people, but it works for us.

 

[Katy Belle]

Yes, I would be aggrevated, but I 'wouldn't say anything to him. I would look at the "intent" His intent was to help. I know, he didn't, he made more work for you. But he was intending to help. Just de-tox the clothes and move on.