Worst First Date Ever

[PeeWee70]

.

 

[WDSearcher]

22 years old. Blind date set up by a friend who was asked by the guy to "set us up". Apparently, he had heard about me from someone else and thought I'd be fun to get to know, but he was shy and didn't want to ask me himself. OK ... cool. Word of mouth is always a good thing. Keep in mind that this was in the days before cellphones, digital cameras and e-mail, so it's not like people could Google each other or check for info online.

I get to the appointed place with the appointed "signal" (green scarf). Guy comes in and starts looking around. He's dressed the way my date was supposed to be dressed, so I watch him look around the diner. Small place (only 14 tables), so it's not like he could have missed me. He goes outside, then comes back inside, and I finally catch his attention. He looks at me and is very confused. I ask, "Are you John >not his real name<". He is even more confused and says yes. I smile and introduce myself. He turns BEET RED.

Now ... I have a name that is one of those "could be a girl / could be a guy" names. But I will admit it leans more towards a "guy" name. And ... you guessed it. "John" was gay. He'd heard about me from a mutual female friend and just assumed she was talking about another gay guy, so he asked her to set us up. She never came right out and told him that I was a girl, since it didn't occur to her that he wouldn't know that. It just never came up.

So ... there we are ... me waiting for my blind date, him expecting a guy. He was all, "Oh my god, there's been a big mistake..." and he took off -- running! I thought, "could I really be that repulsive?" I was upset and angry and humiliated until I got back to the dorm and talked to my friend and she figured it all out. SHE laughed hysterically. Not so much me. Years later, it was a funny story to tell, but at the time ... ?

 

[Pakey]

22 years old. Blind date set up by a friend who was asked by the guy to "set us up". Apparently, he had heard about me from someone else and thought I'd be fun to get to know, but he was shy and didn't want to ask me himself. OK ... cool. Word of mouth is always a good thing. Keep in mind that this was in the days before cellphones, digital cameras and e-mail, so it's not like people could Google each other or check for info online.

I get to the appointed place with the appointed "signal" (green scarf). Guy comes in and starts looking around. He's dressed the way my date was supposed to be dressed, so I watch him look around the diner. Small place (only 14 tables), so it's not like he could have missed me. He goes outside, then comes back inside, and I finally catch his attention. He looks at me and is very confused. I ask, "Are you John >not his real name<". He is even more confused and says yes. I smile and introduce myself. He turns BEET RED.

Now ... I have a name that is one of those "could be a girl / could be a guy" names. But I will admit it leans more towards a "guy" name. And ... you guessed it. "John" was gay. He'd heard about me from a mutual female friend and just assumed she was talking about another gay guy, so he asked her to set us up. She never came right out and told him that I was a girl, since it didn't occur to her that he wouldn't know that. It just never came up.

So ... there we are ... me waiting for my blind date, him expecting a guy. He was all, "Oh my god, there's been a big mistake..." and he took off -- running! I thought, "could I really be that repulsive?" I was upset and angry and humiliated until I got back to the dorm and talked to my friend and she figured it all out. SHE laughed hysterically. Not so much me. Years later, it was a funny story to tell, but at the time ... ?

I had a story but it doesn't come close to being as good as this one so I'm keeping mine to myself.

 

[rlduvall]

My worst first date experience:

He was an extremely attractive man who apparently had serious commitment issues. He took me to dinner and was very charming. We then went out to a nightclub [luckily driving separate cars] where he proceeded to hit on multiple women with me just sitting there in shock. Well, at least for a minute or two - I left him there without even a goodbye. Of course, what did I expect. We "met" while he was at a party with another date. Got what I deserved.

Funniest thing is, over a year later he calls me and asks if I would like to go out again. Uh, no thanks, I've been married for six months. He promptly hung up the phone.

I'm sure there have been others, but I am trying to block them out.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I was 21 and met this guy through a mutual friend. He also happened to be my pediatrician's son (that will come into play later). He picks me up for our first date and asks me if I'd like to go to this coffee shop where some of the local college kids hung out (it was my hometown and we were both home from our own universities for Christmas break). I agree and we head over. While there, he runs into some old friends of his and asks them to join us. Um sure, that makes this less awkward and really takes the pressure off. His friends start asking who I am and my date explains that this is our first date, how we met, and all that jazz. One guy is actually sensitive to the situation, says he didn't realize we were on a date, much less a first date, and was more than happy to excuse himself. The others were not quite as sensitive... or mature. When it comes out that his dad was my pediatrician when I was a child, his friend exclaims, "Dude, your dad has seen her naked!" Then another friend comments on how at least my date will get to see me more developed when he sees me naked. Um, WTH? So that was sufficiently awkward and I was not having a good time. So we are finishing up our drinks when one of his friends asks my date if he will go buy him (the friend) and some other friends beer because apparently they are all underage. My date says sure and asks me to come along. I politely tell him no thank you as I'm really not interested in getting busted for buying alcohol for minors on a first date. He says that isn't a problem, he completely understands, tells me to stay there and he will be right back. And he was. He asks me if I'm ready to go since I had finished my drink about 30 minutes ago and had no intention of ordering another and spending more time with these jackwagons. We get in his truck and he asks me if I would like to drive down to the lake, park, and talk. Yeah, no. I ask him to take me home. He pulls into my driveway and as I am unfastening my seatbelt, the guy practically attacks me and tries to ram is tongue down my throat. It is then that I push him off and tell him that I do not kiss on the first date. He asks me when we can have another and as politely as possible, I tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.

 

[WDSearcher]

I had a story but it doesn't come close to being as good as this one so I'm keeping mine to myself.

John? Is that you?

 

[nd5056]

All of these are

But this one liner is a Tag Fairy worthy...

...

He asks me when we can have another and as politely as possible, I tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.

.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Subscribing. I know I have a good one somewhere in my history. I've tried to black them all out though.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

Mine is not nearly as good. But here it goes.



Boyfriend and I were supposed to go to a dance together. Technically it was a "singles dance" but we were going to be there because we wanted to hang out with our friends.

A few days before the dance he broke up with me. So he went to the dance alone, and so did I. At the dance I saw him flirting with a number of girls, trying to "connect".


So I decided to make him jealous (stupid, I know) by flirting with some of the guys. Wound up giving my phone number to some guy I probably would never have noticed if I wasn't in a mood...guy seemed nice enough, but a bit socially awkward.

So he called me and we set up a first date. Picked me up in his car and took me to the boardwalk at Jones Beach.

I should explain, for anyone who's not from Long Island, the boardwalk at Jones Beach isn't what you picture when you think of a boardwalk. Not like Coney Island or Atlantic City. Jones Beach is a sandbar, the entire sandbar is part of a state park, and the boardwalk is just a way to walk from one part of the park to another. There are tennis courts, shuffle board, a small band shell with free concerts/music/dancing. but very little else.

We spent about two hours walking on the boardwalk, looking at the moon and the ocean. We stopped to listen to the band for a few minutes, but didn't play shuffleboard or anything like that. I suppose he thought it was romantic. I thought it was a bit awkward. Then he kissed me, and it was like kissing a dead fish.


then we got back in the car and he drove me home. And when we were about half a mile from my house he asked me for a second date. And wouldn't take an excuse, made me say that I wasn't interested.

And then...here's the killer...he asked me to rate his kissing!

 

[EMom]

I can think of a couple, but the one that left me with a life lesson was this: I was a freshman and there was this guy who was a junior and probably the most popular guy in HS. Girls were devoted to him. Pretty much all the girls. My BFF had the same first name as I did. A banquet was coming up and the girls had to do the inviting. Of course, most of us fantasized about asking Big Man on Campus/BMOC. I, among others, mentioned how I would LOVE to go to the banquet with him.

He came up to me at lunch and asked when I would like to talk. I had NO clue what he was talking about but when he suggested I go to the basketball game that night (he was on the team) and we could talk after the game, I agreed. My friends asked why he wanted to talk and I told them I had no idea. Then my BFF (with the same name) told me she had slipped a note into his locker, which said "our name" wanted to talk to him. She signed it with our name, knowing he would assume it was me and not her. (He at least knew I was alive. Her, not so much.) So she had thrown us together and strongly suggested I go ahead and ask him to the banquet.

We met after the game, and I figured WTH. He would probably turn me, a lowly freshman, down.....but why not take a chance? So I asked and he accepted. I was in heaven and most of the girls at school were dead jealous of me. They all wanted to be ME for that night. Or so they thought.

He picked me up and looked gorgeous as usual. We left and within 10 minutes of him opening his mouth, I came to the painful realization that as handsome as he was, he was as dumb as a box of rocks. I was two years younger and had to explain things to HIM. Lord, he was dumb. A pretty empty shell of a head.

And I had to spend all evening with him. I was soooooooo disappointed. My secret crush, whom I had bult up in my mind to be Mr. Perfect, was anything but. He was barely tolerable. I will say it was a nice kiss goodnight.

The next morning, all my friends called, wanting ALL the details, because they were living through me for that one night. How I wanted to be able to say it had been a dream date, but instead, I was less than happy to share details. But it taught me not to prejudge someone and build them up until you get to know them. The "dream guys" are sometimes anything but that.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

All of these are

But this one liner is a Tag Fairy worthy...




.

Let's hope. I'd love a visit from the tag fairy.

 

[EMom]

Another one, that was just as bad for the guy as it was for me. I met a guy through my friend and he asked me out. So we went on the date. It went okay. He took home and decided to kiss me while still sitting in his car and not at my front door. I was good with that. Then he suddenly fell on top of me, pinning me to the car seat. I yelled at him to get off me and he said he couldn't.

So I shoved him off and slapped the dogcrap out of him. Then I got out of the car and went inside, leaving him sitting there. I called my friend to say "thanks, but no thanks for fixing me up with that creep." I told her what happened and she started laughing so hard she could barely talk.

Turns out, he had some back ailment/defect that did sometimes cause him to just collapse and be able to sit/stand back up. He was not making the boldest move ever.....his back had given out. And I slapped him for it. Hard. As my mother would have said, I slapped him clear into the middle of next week.

We had no second date.......

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

The first date was supposed to be fishing on the guy's friend's boat, in the Atlantic Ocean. I was living in Melbourne at the time. I am imagining a big boat, yacht kind of thing. Yeah no, it's a little dinghy kind of thing. So, we go WAY out in the ocean. We fish for a while, and there are BIG fish out there. I'm getting hot,so I suggest a swim and both guys tell me no, there's a lot of sharks out here. So....

the boat's motor breaks down and the friend didn't have a radio. So, we sit there for a couple of hours. Luckily another fisherman came by and towed us back in. First date, last date and boy did I have to go to the bathroom by the time I got off of that boat!

 

[JessB320]

I have TWO lol

1st - I was 17 and spent long weeks in a very small town visiting my grandparents and cousins during the summer. One cousin is only a few months older than me so we spent most of my visits together. Well she got a boyfriend that summer and decided to "set me up" with someone so we could double date. So I end up talking with this guy on the phone a couple times and arrange for him to meet my cousin, her BF, and me at my grandparents house then all carpool from there. Well my grandfather starts asking a million questions about this guy as he didn't like his granddaughters dating. He gets an odd look on his face just as the guy gets to the door. Grandad answers the door by saying " who is your daddy boy?" I was mortified !! The poor guy stutters out his dads name. Grandad turns around and says , I thought so! honey that boy is your cousin , his daddy is second cousins with your momma.
I turned beet red!! First, thanks cousin lol she had gone to school with this guy for years never knew they (and therefor him and I ) were related!! while a really awkward time thank goodness my grandfather put it all together!!! We all still went out that night but it was a very platonic night lol!!!

Ok 2nd-
I was 20 or 21 had met a guy at a party a friend was having he asked me out and I said yes. The date turned weird right away. First he had shaved his head in the few days since the party. As in Bic razor shaved. Ok new look. Then he went off on a tangent about his fairly unique religious beliefs in the first 15 minutes. ok, interesting conversation for someone you just met. We were at a coffee shop , when he got his change he pulled out a sharpie and scribbled out the " in god we trust" on each of the bills. The cashier and I just exchanged a look. He then said he needed to grab his sneakers from his house as we were going to go on a hike. I was ready to go home at this point but didn't want to be rude. His place was close by so I said ok. Once we got there he spent 30 minutes showing me his BoFlex - remember those ? Yeah I'm 5'3" and was a size 4 at the time, this guy was maybe an inch taller than me and could probably have worn my jeans, not a body builder by any stretch. After the extensive Bo flex demonstration I played sick and had him drop me off at my car.

 

[Jaya]

Not sure that I actually remember my FIRST date as that was back in prehistoric times when a guy came to your cave, knocked you on the head with a club and dragged you by the hair off to a party..... But I sure DO remember the first date (blind date) I went on after my husband died and I started dating a few years later. It lasted about five minutes and ended with me knocking my iced tea off the table onto his lap....deliberately, I might add. The guy was so obnoxious and said something so awful to me, that I swore on the spot I'd just be better off alone if that was what it was going to be like dating in my 60's. Luckily, I did meet Mr. Wonderful and the rest is history.

 

[laurafergie]

Prefacing this whole story with the hope I don't offend anyone.

This was wayyyyyy back in the 80s, when I was maybe 16. I met this guy through a friend of a friend, and for our first date he asks if I want to go to a concert. Sure! Love concerts! So we go to this old school building. And went inside to the auditorium and then wait for the concert. It ended up being a Born Again Christian concert. People were swaying with their hands up, screaming Thank You Jesus,....including my date. I was freaked out. Raised high Episcopalian where the services were in Latin, this was an occasion I had never found myself in.

We finally left, and I said I needed to get home. All the way back to my house he talked about how he was such a great, religious guy and basically said I would be lucky to have him. When we got back to my house, he literally jumped across the car and pinned me to the door with his hands and mouth everywhere. I got the door opened and fell out in the driveway screaming and my Dad came out. The guy squealed out of the driveway and I never saw him again.

 

[TheAviator]

Not sure that I actually remember my FIRST date as that was back in prehistoric times when a guy came to your cave, knocked you on the head with a club and dragged you by the hair off to a party..... But I sure DO remember the first date (blind date) I went on after my husband died and I started dating a few years later. It lasted about five minutes and ended with me knocking my iced tea off the table onto his lap....deliberately, I might add. The guy was so obnoxious and said something so awful to me, that I swore on the spot I'd just be better off alone if that was what it was going to be like dating in my 60's. Luckily, I did meet Mr. Wonderful and the rest is history.

Enquiring minds want to know what it is he said?

 

[NAB]

Well long before internet dating in our town we had a company called Video dating. I had lost my husband and wanted get back in the dating scene ....I was 30 at the time and just didn't like the bar scene.

Anyway the people there told me to go out with this one guy, thought he was great I would like him. So we make a date to meet at Apple Bee's at 5:00. Ok he meets me we have a good time talking and laughing but he says to me your really funny and a nice girl but you could lose some weight. I was not that big at the time but anyway I should have left then but went to the lady's room and when I came back he had ordered food thougth ok...weird. He only ordered for himself Guess I was suppose to lose that weight now I guess. I did leave after that.

Second date different guy....

Someone at work set me up with a guy. She was having a party wanted me to come and meet him. Was ok at first but few hours later he was dancing , drunk with almost no clothes on ...I was out of there.

At this dating service another guy wanted to meet up and said no way but months went by and he tried again...went out with him and now am married to the greatest guy!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

At 18, I accepted an invitation to go out from a guy in the neighborood we'd just moved to, that I met during a snowstorm when he was bundled up in a hood and parka. His had a handsome face and he seemed nice.

When date night arrived and he stood in my doorway, I was kind of shocked to see a disheveled guy with a long, scraggly ponytail down to his butt (this was the 80s, before nice ponytails came into fashion) and a beater car.

I didn't want to go, but I didn't know how to get out of it, so I went.

His driving was atrocious, speeding and taking corners on practically two wheels to the point that I was literally bouncing around in the seat. I asked him to slow down, but he wouldn't. Between that and the conversation, I realized he wasn't as "nice" as he'd portrayed himself to be, and frankly I got a little scared.

The "date" was at his friends house, where he and his friend proceeded to get wasted. I asked him to take me home before he got "too" wasted, as I had no idea where I even was. (And no cell phones back then.) He was mad and pretty jerky. I couldn't believe it, had never been out with anyone like this before. And if it was possible, the drive home was even worse than the ride there.

I thought the 'date" would never end. He called for a long time afterward, which was awkward, until I began dating someone else. No way would I have put myself in that situation again.

 

[dismom2005]

Boy some of these are really bad.

Makes the last "first" date I had before I met my current bf seem tame. He was the one who ate the entire appetizer we were "sharing" himself and then by the dinner course let me know that when he gets married again he's going to reuse his wedding ring from his first marriage that ended in divorce, cross out the inscription of his 1st wives name and change it to his 2nd wives name, because the ring was expensive. Check please!