Worrying about Flying with a "lap child"

[Eyore4Ever149]

What was your experience in flying with a child on your lap?

I purchased tickets for the 3 adults in our party at the 90 day mark. We are now about 50 days from our trip. Although I gently pushed DH several times to buy a seat for our 17 month old, when he heard she could travel for free if she sits in our lap he refused.

I just started reading a website www.jetwithkidsclub.com and read the free chapter from her book. I have to say I am nervous. I didn't know if you hit turbulance they tell you to put your baby on the floor and hold them (yeah cause I can really double completely over and have strength to hold a child)Or that the FAA says you should not travel with a child in your lap. I wish they just had a law you had to buy a seat, then there wouldn't be a discussion with DH- he would just have to suck it up and pay for it.

I was concerned in the beginning because she is a active child who doesn't like sitting on people's laps. She likes people watching, but typically likes to get down and walk around- obviously not possible on a plane. DHs rational is that everything will be fine, that she would want to get down regardless of if she is in a seat or on our lap. I feel like a seat could have secured her- I also just saw that you can purchase a special FAA approved seat belt harness that is like a car seat. Not sure if she would just whine constantly at being restrained. There are 3 of us to hold her. I have purchased lots of new activities/books, stamps and such to occupy her, probably have the laptop to play DVDs on.

The flight is 2hrs and 45min.

I paid $259 the price for a ticket for her now would be $395

DH didn't want to pay the $259, I dont know that I can do much to convince him to pay almost $400.


Should I be worried?? I know thousands of flights happen everyday with no incidents. Have I done what the article said, not protected the family member who is most defensless?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I wouldn't worry so much about the danger. I just know that at 17 months old my kids were way too big to be sitting on my lap in a plane for 3 hours. The space is not that big. Why not jus tell your dh that it is ridiculous to expect the child to sit all sqooshed like that. Call the airlines. Sometomes the offer reduced rates for kids.

 

[Jaymie]

I've never not purchased a seat for my DS, so I can't comment on my experience with a lap child. We've flown with him when he was 5 months, 18 months, 2 1/2 and 3. The first 2 trips we had his car seat. Even at 18 months he knew the rules, you don't get out when the vehicle is moving and that worked on the plane too. I found that I was more comfortable with him in his own seat too. There's not much space to begin with, sharing it with an active child might make is worse.

When he was 2 1/2 I mistakenly brought a car seat that was not approved for aircrafts so they wouldn't let me use it. I put the seatbelt on him and he stayed put, but I didn't give him any other option, plus I had tons of toys, snacks & DVD's. He leaned over on me & slept. He did the same this past July.

On our return flight in July a lady behind us had a baby on her lap, a 2 or 3 year old and a 3 or 4 yr old. She brought nothing to entertain any of them. The 2 older kids fought the whole time and the baby cried. At one point the only thing that quieted the baby was the constant clicking of her seat belt which was a joy for us. By the end of the flight she was just beat, I felt really bad for her. But she just really didn't seem prepared for the flight at all. A lady next to us had a lap baby and we didn't hear a peep.

It's a tough call. I read somewhere that the reason they allow lap children is because the FAA is worried that people are going to decide to drive instead of flying due to the added expense of a ticket for a baby and flying is safer than driving.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[stacy6552]

Point out to your husband that everything else on a flight is required to be secured during take off and landing...a coffe pot will be more secure on the flight then your child. Then go on the internet and look up the story of the Souix City crash and have him read about the three babies torn from their parents' grasps during the crash landing and how 2 of them died, while their parents walked off the plane.

Now if he still locks up all the money and throws out the key, be sure to bring your carseat anyway. If there is an open seat on the flight, they will let you use it for your child.

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

I am planning on bringing my car seat- but thought I would have to check it- are you allowed to bring it as a carry on? If you aren't planning to use it in the seat.

My husband is one of those who uses his own logic, no amount of scary stories will sway him- he will look at the # of flights vs the # of crashes and the likelyhood of it. He turns a deaf ear to the "convenience' factor. As much as I really want a seat for her, I have small hopes of getting him to purchase a seat now- at $395.

I did call the airline directly as well as AAA- there are "never" seats available to children at a lower rate (AAA) Delta just said the price is what it is because the lower priced seats are sold out. (they are all coach seats) and there arent "child fares" I think they should offer child fares and require the seat.

Has anyone had a lap child and had a good experience?

 

[NemoMOm]

I've flown w/DS 5x as a lap child and it is never been a problem. Just keep one arm around her which I'm sure you do anyway. The last 2x we flew DS would not even seat in his car seat for longer than an hour anyway so he ended up still being a lap child the only difference is we paid for his seat.

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

Thanks NemoMom, good to hear someone who had a positive experience.

I just sent DH an email (how we typically communicate during the day) asking if we can purchase the ticket for her.

If he says no, theres not a lot I can do other than be as prepared as possible with stuff to entertain her on our laps and pray everything goes smoothly

 

[daisyduck123]

Tell your DH to go down to the local mall, find a chair, & sit with your DD on his lap for 3 hours...see how he likes it.
I can guarantee, he won't last the full 3 hours & neither will your DD!!

We always purchased seats for our kids, even when DS was 5 or 6 months old.
Sorry to say, but your DH is acting cheaply/selfishly, IMO.
If your child were older, he'd have to pay.
I hope he changes his mind.

 

[linda0706]

I flew twice with a lap child. Once when she was a newborn--she slept the whole time. The 2nd time was around 15 months. No problems, although it was a bit tiring keeping her occupied. (Although truthfully that would have been the case even if she had her own seat.) We brought books to read and snacks & basically gave her our complete attention for the flight. Luckily DH & I were able to pass her back & forth a couple times. For us, not buying her ticket meant the difference between being able to go or not...I was willing to try it.

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

Well I got my response back. He says its way too expensive for us to buy it, we just cant afford it. He will walk the aisle with her and he thinks theres a good chance an empty seat could be had and he will move so she can have his seat.

So please- post all the positive experiences you have had!!!!

What activies have you found most successful for entertaining little ones?

Heres what I have so far- (this is all being put away to be brand new on the plane)
Princess book with "Magical" wand
My Little Pony storybook
crayons with coloring book/doodle pad
Little Einstein Activity Book with stickers
washable markers

also thinking of getting a couple stamps and washable ink stamppad

 

[allyphoe]

My DD has flown as an unticketed lap child. There were always empty seats on the plane, so she got her own seat and stayed in her carseat most of the time. If there hadn't been a seat for her, I'd have gate-checked the carseat. If you're flying a less-popular route, you may be able to do something similar.

 

[NemoMOm]

You definetly want to keep the children entertained no matter how they are seating. I recommend DVD players, crayons and coloring books, POST_ITS (ds loves these we stick them on the seat and window), small toys and books. Also snacks are a must.

 

[bzzymom]

I took DD twice on my lap......age 11 months and 19months. I made sure I had plenty of things for her to do, and snacks came in great handy

 

[trip]

Thanks NemoMom, good to hear someone who had a positive experience.

I just sent DH an email (how we typically communicate during the day) asking if we can purchase the ticket for her.

If he says no, theres not a lot I can do other than be as prepared as possible with stuff to entertain her on our laps and pray everything goes smoothly

I've flown with lap babies years ago - once by my self with a 1 1/2 yr old (lap baby) and a 4 year old! If this is what you decide to do it will be fine. Just be prepared.

I know all marriages are different but as far as "asking" to purchase a ticket -if I really wanted to get a ticket for my baby I would just get it.

 

[mrsltg]

I wouldn't hope for an empty seat if the price has increased so much since you purchased your tickets. Supply is low, so the price is high.

However, I have flown with both of my girls as lap children. They both had their own seats which I had purchased, but each on a different flight were just not going along with the plan.... My older dd was 18 months when it happened, and my younger dd was 14 mos. The little one woke up about an hour into the flight and started screaming bloody murder. I tried every trick in the book for a few minutes and then calmly reminded myself the other passengers on the plane did not wish to be serenaded so I took her out of her seat and sat her on my lap. She did fine from there. She was happy as can be and didn't make another peep. Sure, turbulence *could* have happened and she would have been out of her seat - then again, a jet engine could have failed and dropped the aircraft straight into the ground. You have to weigh each situation as it comes about.

Have a great trip!

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

My DD has flown as an unticketed lap child. There were always empty seats on the plane, so she got her own seat and stayed in her carseat most of the time. If there hadn't been a seat for her, I'd have gate-checked the carseat. If you're flying a less-popular route, you may be able to do something similar.

gate-checking- this means when we get to the gate we should inquire about open seats then and if they say no to ask them to check the car seat? Or is it better to board, sit, wait to see how she does and then inquire about open seats on the plane..

 

[eebadeeba]

First try to get a seating assignment that has you and your husband in the window and aisle seat with the middle seat empty and the 3rd adult in your party in the aisle seat across from you (this is assuming you are flying on plane with 3 seats on each side of the aisle). That middle seat might remain open if the flight doesn't fully book. That way you won't have to try and rearrange and possible be split up from the rest of your party, if the flight is not fully booked. If the flight is booked, then the person assigned with the middle seat can switch with the other adult in your party.

I have flown often with my DD now 5 and DD 14 mo. They have always been lap children when under 2. I think like your husband, but I understand your point of view.

Take your car seat in a car seat bag, all they way to the gate, even if they tell you the flight is full upon checking in. If there are really no seats available, then you can gate check it at the plane, along with the stroller if you are taking that to the gate also.

Ask when you check in if there will be a seat available for your lap child. Ask again at the gate, then if they say no ask for the gate check ticket.

The airline employees have always been very helpful with this.

My children have tended to sleep alot while on the plane and I have tried to adjust thier schedule to do this.

When my older daughter was a lap child, the flights weren't as full, and more often than not, she was able to have her own seat. I do remember when she was 23 mo, being in the window seat of a full plane with a big guy sitting next to me for a 4 hour flight. I remember dreading the next 4 hours as we were about to take off. But even that turned out to be fine. I have to say that in retrospect, it has never been as bad as I think it is going to be.

As for turbulence, it always makes me nervous (even without kids). I just keep telling myself that it just like a bumpy road. I have never been in a situation where we were told to put the children on the floor, and I have been in turbulence that is very uncomfortable. I also have never felt that the baby would even remotely come out of my arms. I think that having to assume a position and putting the child on the floor would only be in an emergency situation, which would be very rare.

Although I don't think you would want to start this now, you can use a front baby carrier (only during the flight, not take off and landing or emergencies). I think this might be easier for smaller children.

Also as long as there isn't turbulence you can get up and walk up and down the aisle or to the back by bathrooms. Although it might be hard getting her back in the seat afterward or if turbulence starts.

It is easy to tell you not to worry, but that probably won't help you not to. You can remember that the plane is safer than riding in the car.

You seem well prepared for the flight, so have fun.

 

[ParrotBill]

As you've heard the statistics on safety show you have little reason to worry. But convenience is another story. I think your husband should have to keep her entertained for 3 hours.

If you have anyone else next to you in the seats, an unretrained toddler can be a serious imposition. You should not truck her up and down the aisle, as people passing constantly by (especially a toddler not being restrained) is also not pleasant. You won't be able to do this when the drink cart is out.

When a drink or snack is served you should not accept.. there is no way you can have a tray table down with drinks that are in open cups. Buy bottles drinks after passing the security checkpoint and have a straw or sippy cup for the toddler.

We always bought a seat for our daughter so we could have both hands free some of the time... and in case she got really squirmy, so we could restrain her without imposing on others.

 

[rrobin3051]

Well here are a few tips...I did it both ways...the first time with him being 18 months and it only being an hour flight. He was on our lap and was fine and he is a very active child. I let him have the window seat and he stood up the whole time and played with the shade and the seat recline button and was totally fine. then next time to disney he was just under 2 and we took our carseat but did not purchase a seat. I knew there were empty seat next to us so you can use your carseat. He did fine but he whined more because he wanted out. In the car he doesnt want out but on the plane he did because we were sitting next to him, in the car nobody is next to him or kids are. Now here are my suggestions if you are flying SOUTHWEST then you board first with kids, they can gatecheck the carseat if there is no room. Anyway sit the child in the middle if the plane isnt full..no one in there right mind will choose that seat if they dont have too...lol. Now onto other airlines, we flew CONTINENTAL last time and she was really nice I called back to move seats around again left a middle seat open, I mean cmon who is gonna pick that seat if the plane isnt full. Then the day of checking in, she told me we were still in good shape to go ahead and gatecheck the carseat if we had to,, but almost certain we can use it. We did and could. Even a sunday 9 am flight to orlando wasnt completely booked. Most flights these days arent completely booked. The internet makes it look like it but they really arent. Good luck and I think you will be fine without a seat. Oh and about the danger dont worry really. I was sweating that decision as well but it was fine. Either way you are gonna have to deal with a toddler and strapping them in doesnt make them whine less...lol

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

I know all marriages are different but as far as "asking" to purchase a ticket -if I really wanted to get a ticket for my baby I would just get it.

We try to make decisions together, we are a single income family,I guess we would call it "discussing" but the truth is, he handles the finances and to purchase a ticket he has said we should not be buying would be really disrespectful in my opinion. I wish I had pushed harder in the beginning when the price was lower.But to spend $400 without mutual consent- I just cant do that. I wish we had the extra funds.

Thankfully by our next trip she will be 2 and will be required to have a seat.