worried & angry.......

[live4christp1]

......my brother just texted me to say that dad just left going to the doctor because he feels bad. My brother is 49 and lives with my dad (with my parents until mom passed away). My dad is 80 (will be 81 in March), he is old school....and doesn't just up and volunteer to go to the doctor. He will go for his regular appointments but for him to just go.......has to be serious. The only two other times I can think of are when his aorta ruptured (he didn't volunteer for that, I called the ambulance as he was in no condition to comment)......the other time I insisted he go when he thought he had the flu and just wasn't getting any better....turned out he'd had a heart attack several days earlier and ended up getting a pace maker on that trip to the doctor. He is usually pretty stubborn about it.

Well, now I'm worried. DB doesn't have any idea where he was going to the doctor (he has several different ones/under VA care). He goes to two locally, one to check his Coumadin levels and check ups....then up to the VA in Nashville & Murfeesboro. Or would he go to the ER?

DB also doesn't have any idea what's wrong with him other than he feels bad. DB also didn't insist that he drive him to the doctor so I'm also very angry right now. My sister and I both have always taken off to take him (or mom when she was alive) to appointments as needed, when they didn't feel like driving or shouldn't be driving etc. DB will volunteer to drive his friends here or there, or take off work to go to Atlanta to pick up a friends dad from an incoming flight, etc........but he can't drive his own dad whom he lives with and sponges off of......the same dad who is 80 and does all DB's laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. I think I'm going to blow a gasket.

 

[Kim♥DISNEY]

 

[indimom]

......my brother just texted me to say that dad just left going to the doctor because he feels bad. My brother is 49 and lives with my dad (with my parents until mom passed away). My dad is 80 (will be 81 in March), he is old school....and doesn't just up and volunteer to go to the doctor. He will go for his regular appointments but for him to just go.......has to be serious. The only two other times I can think of are when his aorta ruptured (he didn't volunteer for that, I called the ambulance as he was in no condition to comment)......the other time I insisted he go when he thought he had the flu and just wasn't getting any better....turned out he'd had a heart attack several days earlier and ended up getting a pace maker on that trip to the doctor. He is usually pretty stubborn about it.

Well, now I'm worried. DB doesn't have any idea where he was going to the doctor (he has several different ones/under VA care). He goes to two locally, one to check his Coumadin levels and check ups....then up to the VA in Nashville & Murfeesboro. Or would he go to the ER?

DB also doesn't have any idea what's wrong with him other than he feels bad. DB also didn't insist that he drive him to the doctor so I'm also very angry right now. My sister and I both have always taken off to take him (or mom when she was alive) to appointments as needed, when they didn't feel like driving or shouldn't be driving etc. DB will volunteer to drive his friends here or there, or take off work to go to Atlanta to pick up a friends dad from an incoming flight, etc........but he can't drive his own dad whom he lives with and sponges off of......the same dad who is 80 and does all DB's laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. I think I'm going to blow a gasket.

Can't help you with the brother issue....
BUT, if you are concerned, go ahead and call the couple places you think he would go and see if he has signed in. I bet you could track him down in a matter of minutes (assuming he has had time to drive there by now). And if he doesn't need you with him (if he's "just sick"), you can leave your name and number with the receptionist so they know who to call if anything major comes up or he needs a ride home. At least it will ease your mind.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm not going to say whether he should have or not just want to remind you HOW STUBBORN those old guys can be. Your Brother very well may have offered and been adamantly refused and being another male respected your Dad's decision. Guys do that with each other, it is a male thing. My own DH will do that, he will say I offered they didn't want me to and he is an adult I respect his choice.

Hope all is well but men take care of things differently than women

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would call around as well to make sure he does not need a ride home or something along those lines.

This is when you wish they had a cell phone.

My dh's mom is finally going to get one of those "go phones" for emergencies.

As far as your bro', sounds like par for the course.

 

[hambirg]

Wow. . .I would feel the same way if I was you! Are you saying your 80yr old Dad who isn't feeling good drove himself to the doctor?

I would be on the phone with my brother basically chewing him out and making it clear that it is urgent that he finds out where Dad was going and if he made it. . .etc. . .blah blah blah. . .until he understood that he needs to do something about the situation or I was going to continue to harass him until he had some answers.

 

[live4christp1]

Will the doctor's offices/hospitals even give me that info......I thought they couldn't anymore since the Health Information Privacy thingy.................

And yes it's a valid point that DB could have been refused at an offer to help but I highly doubt it......I know my brother........he was probably sitting there playing the computer or in bed watching TV and the thought never crossed his mind........the same way that it doesn't occur to him to help with anything or to mow the yard (huge yard with steep back bank) or run the weed eater......or anything else. Over the summer DH and I would help dad do the back bank (the only way it can be cut is with a weed eater it is so steep).......DB always had to go play golf or somewhere with his friends instead of helping out with the yard work.

DB acts like a spoiled 13 year old stuck in an adult body.

 

[snapppyd]

Does your brother have his own car? If your dad refused help he should have followed him. What if he can't drive home or ends up in the hospital?

You can certainly call the offices and ask if he is there, I would have made those calls already. When my mom passed away I would occasionally not be able to reach my dad (two hour drive away) and have to find him (long story).

Start calling now and good luck

 

[kacaju]

I am sorry to hear about your Dad. My adult brother, who lives with my mom is very similar. He was nice enough to call the EMT for my Mom once. Then he called me and told me EMT just took Mom to the hospital. I had to drive a 1/2 hour to go sit with Mom in the ER because my brother doesn't like hospitals!!

 

[live4christp1]

Found him. He went to the VA. They are sending him to the ER. Not sure which one yet. He is supposed to call me back so I can meet him there. He does have a cell but I had called and called and it went straight to voice mail (he never turns it on). He finally did turn it on and my sister got him to answer.

Think I will be a witch and not tell my brother any info at all. If he wants to know he can find out himself. He is so self absorbed he will never even ask....unless he wants to know when dad is going to bring more groceries to the house.

Please pray for my dad!!!!!!!